


Venus Unchained

by beautiful_as_endless



Series: The Life and Times of Team Hijo de Puta [9]
Category: Heneral Luna (2015)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-08-23 17:53:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 47
Words: 94,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8337199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beautiful_as_endless/pseuds/beautiful_as_endless
Summary: She would always be known as the woman who gave the boy general the cold shoulder in the past - and yet she knew that there was something more to the story. And maybe finding her grave would finally let them have the proper happy ever after they've been waiting for.





	1. Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay wakes up.

_Poleng had always been frail._

_It was a well known frustration to her parents - that the only child they were able to concieve was a girl, and too sickly at that. She was used to the interplay of disappointment and calculations that crossed his parents' faces whenever they looked at her. She had resigned herself to such a fate, being a wallflower whenever her parents were not busy looking after businesses throughout Pampanga or their lands up north in Tarlac._

_She was glad that they were always away though, and things could be different whenever it was just her and the servants left in their estate. Even at the age of ten, she had already learned to connive with the boy who worked in the gardens, Totillo, so she can sneak out of the gates and explore the town of Floridablanca. She couldn't understand why a lot of the townspeople viewed her with something that she didn't realize was envy and awe, but at such an age, all she wanted was to see the town and what it offered._

_She had to take the smallest forms of freedom that she could. After all, she was sure that it wouldn't last._

**Sunday, 05-15-16, 6:00 PM, Angeles University Foundation Medical Center**

The first thing Jay felt upon regaining consciousness was _pain._ Breathing was difficult, even with the hospital equipment, and her chest was on fire. For one terrifying moment, she remembered that it was almost the same pain she felt when her mother almost stabbed her to death. It was enough to choke her up and send the monitors spiking up, their soft beeps sending a haze of pain in her head.

Her eyes slowly opened, looking around bit by bit to orient herself as she looked around the hospital room, quietly noting the _too clean_ smell that she could never get used to. She looked around carefully, noting Joven standing by the window while Goyong and Aurora talked in whispers by her side.

"Gising ka na ba talaga, 'Nay?" Aurora's startled voice almost made her jump up in surprise.

She looked up at the girl, who was watching her with bloodshot eyes. "Um..." She fought back a cringe as she realized that her voice came out too creaky. "Gising na nga ata."

Goyong's soft hand closed around hers. "Mabuti nalang talaga't nagising ka na," he murmured as Joven dashed to join them. "Anong nangyari?"

She shifted uncomfortably, trying to ignore the stabbing pains. "Pakshet. Si Dolores." She paused, gathering her thoughts and memories. She told them about her dream, and how Dolores reenacted the night Jay's mother almost killed her daughter in a fit of rage. She fought back the fear fluttering in her gut, knowing that she would lose to Dolores the moment that she gave in to it. "Pero don't worry, ayos lang ako. Konting sakit lang naman 'to. Sisiguraduhin kong pag nagkita kami in person ng bruhang yun, susuntukin ko siya ng kaliwa't kanan."

Goyong's hand tightened its grip as he leaned forward with the smallest of frowns. "Buwisit talaga siya."

 _"Jay, ali naka migaganaka kang Dolores. Ikami nang bahala kaya. Magpaynawa naka mu." Jay, wag ka nang mag-alala tungkol kay Dolores. Kami nang bahala sakanya. Magpahinga ka nalang._ Joven's eyes sharpened into steel but there was still _pity_ evident on his face - as if he saw her as a helpless invalid because her curse took a turn for the worse.

She hated it.

Goyong gave Joven a long look before turning back to Jay. "Sigurado akong babasagin mo yung mukha niya," he murmured quietly.

_Dapat lang. Pakyu Dolores, pag ako nakalabas dito, babangon ako at dudurugin kita. Literally, kung pwede._

Aurora nodded, slamming a fist on her palm. "Si nanay pa?" she said in a quietly smug tone. "Siya yata yung pinaka badass na ate sa bahay niyo, diba?"

Jay smiled. She had to trust herself. She knew that others will worry - that others will keep trying to force her to rest and leave it all to them - but she was going to prove to herself and to them that not even the curse would set her back. She would make sure that she was going to help them take Dolores down... or maybe do it herself if given the chance.

**Sunday, 05-15-16, 8:00 PM, Angeles University Foundation Medical Center**

It was just Goyong and her. Aurora had gone home for the day, while Joven left briefly for lunch. Seeing her brother's retreating back was met with a surprising feeling of relief on her part. The way he looked at her screamed so much of pity that it made her feel even worse about the entire situation at hand. She was ill thanks to Dolores' curse and yet she didn't want to be defeated by it. Her brother made her feel like she already did and it wasn't a pleasant thought - and it didn't help that she felt like she was even frailer than Poleng used to.

"Masama pa yung pakiramdam mo, ano?" Goyong mused, his thumb briefly stroking her chest and stirring her out of the darker direction her thoughts have been taking. His eyes briefly flickered to the window before turning back to her with the smallest of smiles. "Gusto kong itapon sa bangin si Dolores pero mukhang, um, mas madami na ata siyang atraso sa iyo. Tanginang sumpa yan."

_Wala kang kapangyarihan upang mapigilan ako. Isa akong mangkukulam, at buo na ang aking kapangyarihan bago pa man dumating sa aming mga lupain ang mga Kastila._

Dolores' words came to the forefront of her thoughts, reminding her of the dream. Her fists automaticaly clenched despite the pain it brought the arm that was connected to the IV needle. "Pero tama siya," she mused quietly. "Madami siyang powers. Mga, um, daggers lang ang meron natin. We need something _more._ "

He nodded contemplatively at her words. "Napapaisip na din ako tungkol diyan," he murmured. "Kahit na marami tayo, sigurado akong hindi parin magiging sapat yun laban sakanya. Kailangan natin ng ipantatapat sa mga kakayahan niya."

There was a quiet knock before the door creaked open. Addie Reyes stepped into the room a little hesitantly, fingers fumbling with the ribbon on her blouse as she regarded the two of them. "Hello sa inyo," she began, her gaze jumping between the two of them. "Is this a bad time?"

Jay tried to sit up, forgetting herself for a moment. Her aching body and the hospital equipment quickly reminded her though, and she slumped back to her bed with a small gasp of breath. Dolores' words rang at the back of her head, telling her that Addie had something to do with the extra torment that she was currently going through. "Hindi naman," she forced herself to blurt out. She tried to stomp down on her suspicions, though she wondered if Addie's curse - the curse that she could never find proper love - was true. "May problema ba?"

Addie's lip wobbled as she approached them. "I-I need to apologize." Her words were cut short as she burst into tears. "Kasalanan ko lahat ito."

Jay's eyes softened. "May nasabi si Dolores. Ano bang nangyari?"

Addie slumped forward, unable to meet their eyes. It took her a while to calm down but her gaze remained averted. "I'm so sorry. Hindi ko alam na maibabalik kay Dolores yung powers niya if I did something para mawala yung sumpa ko. Ang tanga ko."

"We all make mistakes..." Jay replied tentatively. She was too tired, too sore to strike up an argument. Besides, she was the one who was reckless enough to seek Dolores out and end up cursed. "I would also be desperate para mawala yung sumpa ko kung bibigyan na ako ng opportunity sa harapan ko mismo."

Goyong nodded. He exchanged glances with her before turning to Addie. There was an odd look on his face. "Pero kung malaman namin na talagang sinadya mong mangyari kay Jay yun..."

"Ako mismo ang hihirit sakanya," Jay assured him. Looking at Addie's defeated face, she had a feeling that the girl was telling her the truth. That was enough for now. "Chill na muna."

Addie cringed, but she held her ground. "It still doesn't excuse what I did."

"It doesn't pero understandable." Jay tried to sound as firm as she could, remembering how her father used to talk to fussy patients. "Alam kong hindi ka agad matatahimik dahil dito pero trust me. I'm okay. It's okay. There's no need to worry, oks? Relax. Hindi ako galit at hindi kita gigilitan ng leeg."

"I don't deserve your kindness..." insisted Addie.

"You do." A small smile quirked up Jay's face. She remembered her father telling her and Joven about his _womanizing_ back in his youth, telling them that people always had the propensity for both good and bad things - and most of them still had the chance to change. She knew that Addie wasn't a heartless murderer like Dolores, and that was enough for her now.

**Bonus**

**Sunday, 05-15-16, 8:00 PM, Museo Ning Angeles**

The night was cool to Jose Bernal's skin - even cooler after spending the past ten minutes in Tito Selong's car as its owner oversped their way to the museum. He had never had motion sickness until that day, and Cat's sunglasses fell into the car floor with a sickening crunch a few minutes before they parked on the small space by the sidewalk. He had never been so _glad_ to have his feet on solid ground until that day. Alarm coursed through him as he realized just how much his knees were shaking - but at least his stomach finally stopped heaving.

"Grabe, Tito, harsh pala kayong magmaneho!" he blurted out as he smoothed his shirt.

"Correction, _hijo,_ masyadong mabagal magmaneho ang henerasyon niyo." Selong smiled as he gallantly helped a pale Cat step out of the car. "How do you young people even get around in slow speeds?"

"Tito, umiiwas po kasi kami sa vehicular accidents," Cat told him wryly. She rubbed her abdomen, as if reassuring herself that she didn't have to throw up from all that wild driving. She crossed her arms and gazed at their companion. "Bakit niyo po kailangan ng access sa archives? Can't it wait until tomorrow po ba?"

"Pasensya, ngunit kailangan ko ito sa lalong madaling panahon. Nakita ko kasi na ngayong araw ko kukunin yung libro dito eh," Selong said, fluctuating between his old and new speech patterns.

Jose still found Selong and his visions odd, but he decided to roll with it. _Tito Selong knows best nga naman ata._ He wasn't sure why Cat wanted him to come with them but he supposed it was fine with him. At least he got to clear his head for a bit. The day was quite hectic, especially with the chaos that Jay's condition bought in the household.

Cat's keys jingled as she unlocked the Museum, looking around anxiously in case someone approached to question them. It wasn't exactly _illegal_ , especially as Cat was an employee, but it was better not to rouse suspicions.

The darkness and silence was enough to send a shudder down Jose's spine, but their trip to the archive room was quite uneventful, to his surprise. He supposed that it was better than coming across some kind of ghost or being attacked by Dolores. Still, he couldn't help but feel as tense as a taut string. He felt a small shudder of relief run down his entire body as they stepped out of the museum though it still didn't ease his quiet fear.

He couldn't help but look around warily as they crossed the cool, lively courtyard slash park outside of the building though, the smell of street food and bibingka fading into a quiet background. He couldn't relax fully, not even when they finally made it to Selong's car. Selong's humming punctuated the revving engine as Jose peered out through the window. He only fully relaxed once they had finally started to drive off, the museum slowly winking away in the distance.


	2. One of the Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay faces a worse battle ahead.

_She was fifteen when she first saw him. The town was in the midst of its revelries as the fiesta went on around her. She was glad that her parents were always away whenever there was some kind of occassion or revelry in town, making it easier for her to join and feel like she was a normal girl, even just once. She knew that her parents were already looking for potential suitors for their only daughter, but Poleng wanted to know what it felt like to mingle with some of the young men in town. It didn't help that they mostly shied away from her though, knowing who she was and what her parents were like._

_Things were different that night, though._

_She was sitting on a bench in the town plaza, breathless and a feeling a little ill from all her wandering. The early twilight bathed the festivities in its rosy glow streaked with the faint gold of the street lamps. There was much music and dancing in the streets, but no one had ever asked her to dance - not even once._

_She spotted someone unfamiliar - a boy her age who probably came from another town - watching her at the edge of the festivities shyly. He was a little thin and fair, his dark hair swept to the side neatly, his eyes moving away whenever he caught her gaze._

_They played this game for quite a while before he finally approached. "Maaari ba kitang isayaw, magandang binibini?" he asked, knees visibly shaking._

_A warmth filled her cheeks as she beheld him closer, gazing into his brown eyes. "Hindi ako marunong sumayaw, makisig na ginoo. Ikinalulungkot kong sabihin na ipinanganak akong na parehong kaliwa ang aking mga paa."_

_His smile made her warm up to him immediately. "Huwag kang mag-alala. Tuturuan kita."_

**Monday, 05-16-16, 3:00 PM, Angeles University Foundation Medical Center**

Jay felt sore and tired. It was as if it wasn't enough that she was ill - no, the doctors took her through tests that left her entire body feeling battered. She just wanted to go home and have everything go back to normal.

She knew that nothing could properly go back to normal until Dolores was gone but she could hope.

"Ayos ka lang ba?" asked Goyong, watching the nurses wheel her bed back in the room.

She nodded, closing her eyes as the nurses reattached the monitors back to her chest, ignoring her wince as one of them jostled the stitches she got earlier that month. "Pagod lang."

He took her hand and gently squeezed - it was quickly becoming his customary way of reassuring her. The touch was familiar and calming in its own way. "Wag kang mag-alala, sigurado akong malapit ka nang umuwi."

"Siguro nga." She opened her eyes, her gaze flickering at the door as the nurses retreated. "Kahit ilang dosenang tests pa ang gawin sa akin, hindi naman nila malalaman kung anong problema ng puso ko, diba? Thanks, Dolores."

He scowled. "Pasensya na at wala akong magawa."

A smile lit up her face as she turned to him, eyes glittering with affection. "Ano ka ba, oks lang. Hindi naman natin kontrolado lahat ng nangyayari sa atin, diba?"

He didn't look pleased by it, but at least he didn't argue. "Alam ko. Nakakainis lang na... na nakikita kitang nakahiga diyan at wala man lang akong magawa." He glared at the wall, lost in his dark thoughts.

"Naiinis din ako na wala akong magawa," she agreed, trying to fight off the anger that was slowly rising in her voice. Her thoughts kept shuffling back to her dream and the way Dolores reenacted the night she almost died because of her mother. It wasn't _pleasant_. "Humanda lang talaga yang Dolores na yan sa akin. Masasapak ko ng kaliwa't kanan kapag nagkita kami, putangina niya."

A teasing grin lit up Goyong's face. "Sana lang at di ako lowbat pag nangyari yun. Ang sarap atang kuhanan ng video niyan."

Jay mirrored his grin as she slowly shifted to a more comfortable position. "Excited na ako." She wanted to make sure that the final confrontation between Dolores and her was going to be a spectacle - something she would never forget for the rest of her life. On top of this, she would make sure that Dolores would regret everything she did to Jay and the team before she was vanquished for good. _You deserve all the shit that will happen to you and more, bitch._

**Tuesday, 05-17-16, 8:00 AM, Angeles University Foundation Medical Center**

The test results came that day, but Jay wasn't surprised to find out that there was nothing new about them. Medical science probably had no way of explaining her condition - not when it was brought about by an ancient witch's curse. She had long accepted that she would have to bear the pain and discomfort for the mean time, but it didn't mean that she would let herself lose to it. She vowed that she would never let herself be demoralized by anything Dolores threw at her... not even if it was an obviously fatal curse.

She was alone that day, having _forced_ Goyong to go to work despite her condition. After all, she wasn't going anywhere. She still wasn't used to the silence - not even when she had been forced to stay at home ever since her health had started taking a toll for the worse. It left her uneasy and impossibly restless. Not a pleasant experience at all. But then again, she had to admit that she should be at her best health once it's finally time to destroy Dolores once and for all.

There was a loud rapping knock on the door which would have made her jump up if she wasn't held down by all the hospital equipment strapped onto her. Heart pounding, a quiet fear whispered at the forefront of her thoughts that it could be Dolores or her remaining dopplegangers. She quickly fought it back, knowing that she had _never_ been attacked in the hospital before. After all, Dolores was a familiar face there. She probably didn't want to cause trouble somewhere where she could be recognize and arouse suspicions.

"Nandito ako," she called out.

The door creaked open and Tina stepped in with a smile. "Jay!" she greeted, shutting the door behind her with a soft click. "Kamusta?"

Jay shrugged good naturedly, motioning to the array of monitors around her. "Buhay na buhay pa naman."

Tina rummaged in her bag and held out a small, pale blue envelope. "Alumna ka nga din pala sa Holy Family nung high school ano? I remember na nakikita kita sa corridors."

Jay eyed the envelope warily, a quiet suspicion at the back of her head. _Wag mong sasabihing class reunion to?_ "Oo, batch 2009 ako eh. Ikaw 2010 ka, diba?"

"Yup, matanda ka lang ng ilang buwan sa amin ni Marge pero 2010 kami," agreed Tina. She set the envelope down on the bedside cabinet with a small grin. "So, may reunion yung batches 2007 hanggang 2010 next month at invited ka. Dumating sa bahay niyo to kanina pero since bibisita rin lang ako, nagvolunteer na akong ihatid para sayo."

"Nakakahiya naman, ikaw talaga." Jay couldn't help but smile though. "Kelan ba yan? Jusme, ako yung kinakabahan." Jay hasn't been to any class reunion - both formal and informal - since she graduated from high school. She was bullied a lot back then for being a little different and coming from an old, prominent, well-off family, and she didn't want to relieve those days. Having the words _ugly_ and _fat_ ingrained into her self image was bad enough.

Tina smiled and sat on Goyong's chair. Before she could say something though, the door flew open and Aurora barged in, clutching a lunchbox close to her. "Hi Ate Tina, hi Nanay," she said breathlessly. She waved the lunchbox around energetically. "Nagdala ako ng almusal, sana di pa kayo kumain. Wala ba si Tatay?"

"Um, pinilit kong pumasok sa trabaho. Jusme, nagabala ka pa talaga." Though Jay appreciated their effort, she was uncomfortable with it all. She didn't deserve the kindness or attention that a good number of her friends were showering her with - while the others treating her like a sick invalid was making her feel worse about her current condition.

"Bawal magpagutom, 'Nay. Papatayin ako ng keso," announced Aurora, a small pout on her face.

"Anyway, pupunta ka ba? Nagusap nakami ni Marge eh. Since pwedeng magsama ng guests, dadalhin na lang namin yung kambal," continued Tina.

Jay looked down as she started to read the fancy invitation, remembering the jeering laughs of her female classmates and their teachers' cold indifference. It wasn't a pretty memory, but then again, she could apply the same philosophy that she was using against Dolores. She could show up at the reunion in her best and show those who picked on her that she was still standing as high as ever - unbowed, unbent, unbroken.

There was only one problem. The reunion was a cocktail party.

"Pupunta ako," she began slowly. "But I'll need some help."

**Tuesday, 05-17-16, 10:00 AM, Angeles University Foundation Medical Center**

Jay squirmed as her four visitors - Tina, Aurora, Angela, and Marge - eyed her with the slightest of scrutiny. She was asking for help in order to look more than decent in a cocktail party and now they were looking at her like some kind of doll.

"National emergency to," Marge was saying as she rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Erm, fashionable ka naman in a badass way pero hindi _babagay_ yan sa cocktail party. Dapat maging girly ka. At sa totoo lang, hindi ako girly - nagsusuot lang ako ng dress kasi mas madaling ilagay. Marunong lang akong magcoordinate ng kulay kasi kailangan sa flower shop. Kailangan natin ng mas, um, matinding expert para dito. Hindi naman tayo mahihirapan, maganda yung mukha at hubog ng katawan mo eh. Maputi ka pa at makinis naman."

"Maganda yung mukha at hubog ng katawan? Sister, gusto kong malaman kung ano yung sinisinghot mo," Jay said, though she inwardly glowed at the appraisal. "Ganyan ba talaga kahirap pumorma para sa cocktail party?" She could barely remember her junior and senior proms, but she merely lurked at the corner of the court with her friends, after all.

Aurora ruffled her hair with a grin. "Nay, wag ka nang umangal. Totoo naman ah. Pero don't ask me, tamad akong pumorma."

Tina shrugged. She motioned to her clothes, which were every bit as tomboyish as Jay's. "I'm sorry, marunong lang akong pumili ng alahas kasi it's part of the trade. Wala akong gaanong alam sa pagiging girly as fuck. Tama si Marge, kailangan natin ng iba pang experts. Kailangan natin ng teamwork kasi let's be real na we also need help, diba, Marge?"

Marge nodded enthusiastically. "True that. National disaster nga indeed, may tatlong diyosang nangangailangan ng konting fashion help!"

Jay snorted. "Diyosa talaga?"

Aurora wiggled her eyebrows, her grin growing with every second. "Wag ka na kasing aangal, 'Nay. Diyosa naman talaga kayong tatlo, tignan niyo nga naman yung mga boobies niyo oh."

Marge smacked the back of her head lightly. "Gagi ka talaga!" She turned to Jay with a mad gleam in her eyes that reminded the latter of her dear departed father whenever he was up to some mischief or another. "Ganito. Um, focus ka na muna sa pagpapagaling mo kasi hindi naman natin mailulunsad yun _Oplan Magandang Diyosa_ hangga't nakaratay ka diyan, okay? Tapos dun nalang natin pagusapan ng mga ibang amiga kung anong dapat nating gawin."

"Sounds like a plan, ano, Jay?" said Tina.

"Oo naman." Jay was already conditioning herself for a big battle ahead - the battle to change her tomboyish image in one night and not embarrass herself in front of the people who used to look down and pick on her. _Challenge accepted, fuckers._


	3. What a Catch, Donnie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay tries to build up her confidence.

_She danced with the boy, enthralled by the warm glint in his brown eyes, mesmerized by the careful touch of his hands, captivated by the honest smile on his face. They had barely danced for a little more than minutes and yet she was sure that she was already smitten by him. She was feeling properly alive for the first time in her sixteen years, and it was amazing._

_She was no dancer and yet he led her on smoothly, leaning forward ever so shyly to tell her what they had to do next, guiding her in time with the music blaring around them. She stumbled only twice and he managed to steady her before she embarrassed herself, feeling her cheeks flushed as it brought them a little closer._

_There was no need to deny her disappointment when darkness truly fell upon the starry night sky and the music faded into a stop, its last sweet notes lingering for a few seconds more. The boy held her just a little longer before slowly letting her go with a bow of his head. "Maraming salamat sa pagtanggap ng sayaw, binibini," he murmured. "Ngunit kailangan ko nang umalis."_

_"Maraming salamat din sa iyong alok, makisig na ginoo," she said with a bright smile. "Bago ka umalis, maaari ko bang hingin ang iyong pangalan?"_

_He mirrored her smile as he looked up, eyes glittering through his lashes. "Ako si Gregorio, ngunit maaari mo rin akong tawaging Goyong. Maaari ko rin bang mahingi ang iyong pangalan, magandang binibini?"_

**Wednesday, 05-17-16, 8:00 AM, Angeles City Proper**

Riding shotgun on her brother's car, Jay couldn't help but peer out through the window and watch the scenery as they drove by. It was the familiar, humdrum routine of the bustling city and yet she couldn't help but drown in it. It was good to see a semblance of normalcy in her everyday world despite the chaotic madness that the team's life had been thrown into.

"Sigurado ka bang gusto mo munang magalmusal sa labas bago ka umuwi?" Joven's voice broke through his sister's distracted thoughts. "i mean, nasabihan kang magpahinga diba? Kahit papano nakakapagod din yung naglalakad lakad at pagbiyahe."

"Kuya, ten minutes away lang tayo mula sa bahay - um, at sa ospital na din. Kung may mangyayari man, edi madali lang tayong makakaalis. Besides, hindi naman siguro titigil yung puso ko kung nag-crave ako ng mami, diba?" Jay bit back the quiet bubble of resentment that was starting to build up in her. Her brother meant well with his babying, she had to remind herself, no matter how wrong it was. It was the same with his prior overprotectiveness when Goyong came into their lives, and the same when all he could do was comfort her instead of doing something about their mother's abuse.

Joven always meant well. It was just that meaning well did not _always_ equate to doing the right thing.

Joven sighed as he rounded the corner, driving toward the market area and the _carinderia_ where she first had a proper conversation with Goyong. "Nag-aalala lang ako."

Guilt churned in her gut as she wondered whether she came off as too _snappish_ to him. "Sorry. Alam kong nag-aalala ka sa akin pero..." She broke off, wondering how to tell him kindly that he should put a bit more faith in her ability to actually be an adult and take care of herself. "Hindi na ako yung Jay na binubugbog at sinasabunutan ni Nanay noon. Kaya ko na din namang alagaan yung sarili ko - kahit na medyo matigas ang ulo ko kapag minsan. Ayoko rin namang may masamang mangyari sakin dahil sa sumpa ni Dolores, hindi ba?"

Joven didn't say a thing, simply keeping his eyes glued on the road. There was a hint of sadness in his eyes though, along with some kind of realization.

**Wednesday, 05-17-16, 11:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Jay couldn't help but smile by the time they reached the house. She had to admit that she was starting to feel much better just by being in the vicinity.

There was a bustle of activity indoors that piqued her curiosity. "Anong meron?" she asked her brother.

Joven looked up at her and smiled wryly. "Apparently, makikitira muna dito si Addie habang naghihintay makapasok sa law school. Sasali na muna daw sa kwarto ng mga Enriquez."

Jay nodded. Stepping trough the backdoor and into the dining room, she paused for a while to take a deep breath. It was so  _easy_ to appreciate the cool air conditioning when she spent almost the entire morning under the summer heat. Even her brother's car felt like an oven under the searing sun.

_Home sweet home._

The smell of cooking lunch kicked her out of her ruminations though. She looked up to see Adela working in the kitchen, her face creased up in a frown.

"Nakow, kaya nga ako umuwi ng maaga para ako nang magluto ng tanghalian," Jay said, approaching her. Ever since she was chucked out of working for the cafe - which she partly owned too - she took it upon herself to be in charge of housework and cooking to keep herself busy.

Addie smiled good naturedly. "It's okay. Kailangan mong maka recover agad.  _So you can kick Dolores' ass for everyone,_ " she ended in a whisper.

Well, at least that was one more person who believed in her instead of dismissing her due to being ill. She couldn't help but mirror the girl's smile as she ducked her head. "Thank you."

"'Nay! Welcome back!" Vince stepped out lf the side corridor that linked the Enriquez brothers' room to the kitchen. Mouth full of what looked like chocolate, he threw his arms around Jay with a small laugh. "Buti nalang agad ka nilang pinauwi!"

She hugged him back and let out a small wince as her stitches got jostled. "Dapat lang," she bragged. "Baka amagin pa ako sa sobrang inip doon. Alam mo naman, hindi talaga para sa akin yung pagiging bedridden."

"I know, right?" chirped Vince.

She smiled and patted his cheek before marching upstairs. She hated to admit it to herself, but she  _did_ need to lie down, even just for a bit. Her chest was starting to ache despite the pain killing medications that she was prescribed with.

Paco and Nonong were upstairs, standing right beside the door leading to the room they shared with the del Pilars. They stopped talking as she approached, though she had the feeling that they were talking about something  _important_ before she accidentally intruded.

"Um, hello," Nonong began awkwardly. "Maguumpisa palang mamayang hapon yung shift ko sa emergency room. Di man lang nila sinabing umaga ka uuwi."

She shrugged, flashing him a mischievous grin. "Wala silang mapapala at wala rin akong mapapala kahit na magtagal pa ako doon."

"Pero mas makakapagpahinga ka sa ospital..." Paco mused thoughtfully.

"Sa tingin ko maloloka si Ate Jay kung iiwan lang nating nakahandusay doon," argued Nonong.  _Thank you so much, pinsan._ "Dios mio, kahit ata ako maloloka kung iiwanan niyo lang ako sa ospital kung kaya ko namang gumalaw galaw kahit na may sakit."

A small jolt of joy passed through Jay at the thought of having an ally in Nonong. She really couldn't even bear thinking about what it would be like, stuck in a hospital bed and just hoping that someone finally did away with Dolores while she was recovering. She wasn't  _that_ kind of person.

"Tama si Nonong," she told Paco warmly. There was no use being angry or upset at their babying. They meant well, she had to remind herself of that. They weren't trying to offend or restrain her in person. It just was that they didn't  _understand_ what it was like, hating the feeling of being a liability, hating the feeling of being unable to do anything to help the people close to her.

Like it or not, the entire team was her family, and she loved them all in her own way.

**Thursday, 05-18-16, 2:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

The buzzing trill of her phone alarm jolted her out of her sleep, punctuated by faint instrumental music that wafted off from Cat's side of the room, behind the divider. She could feel Goyong's arms shift around her as she reached for it to shut it off. A small ache was starting to form in the center of her chest, reminding her as much as the alarm did that she had to take her medications soon. "Teka," Goyong said, taking his arms off her slowly. "Samahan na kita sa baba."

"Ano ba, kaya ko naman," she whispered, grabbing a shirt hanging on the edge of the bed without a care about whether it belonged to her or Goyong, noting the way it felt cool against her bare skin. Smoothing down her jogging pants, she made her way quietly out of the room.

The house was dimly lit and quiet, her soft footsteps the only source of sound for a while. She could hear faint voices the closer she got to the stairs and noticed the dimmer set of lights twinkling in the dining room area. She made it to the corner of the stairs and spotted a pair of naked people on the dining room table - Vince and Addie. It took her just a few seconds to process what she was seeing before she turned around and marched right back to the room.

Goyong watched her with bleary eyes, sitting at the very edge of the bed. picking at something on his worn out basketball shorts. "Ang bilis mo ata," he noted with a tilt of his brow.

She didn't want to tell him what she saw. She wasn't  _that_ kind of person to just blab. Sitting beside him, she averted her gaze and stared at her pale, bare feet instead. "Salamat, ha?" she whispered. "Kahit na ang pangit ng katawan ko at damaged goods na, hindi ka parin nagsasawa sa akin."

"At bakit naman ako magsasawa sayo?" He wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her close. "Jay, maganda ka. Maganda ang katawan mo. Pansinin mo yung mga tao sa paligid mo kapag lumalarga ka. At anong  _damaged goods_ , ha?"

"May sakit na ako sa puso at dadagdagan pa ng mga tahi ko yung mga peklat ko," she said, remembering Addie's  _smooth_ skin, comparing it to the ridges that her stitches would leave behind and the silvery scars her mother gave her so long ago.

He clutched the hem of her shirt gently and leaned forward. "Maaari ba?" he asked.

She nodded, confused, as he tugged off her shirt and pulled her to her feet, whirling her around so she faced the full body mirror tucked away beside the wardrobe. She suppressed a shudder at the sight of her scars and stitches. "Kadiri, diba?"

He stood behind her, a small smile on his face. "Maganda ka, at ang katawan mo. Nakikita ko kung paano ka talaga titigan ng mga tao sa daan, maniwala ka sa akin. Alam kong... ito ang nakikita ng mga tao pero hindi ito ang pinakamahalagang bagay. Higit pa man sa lahat, maganda rin ang kalooban mo. Yun ang pinakamahalagang bagay, sa tingin ko." He posed before running his fingers gently across her chest. "Patunay lang sa katapangan mo yang mga peklat at tahi mo. Huwag mo silang ikahiya - ipagmalaki mo sila."

She leaned into his embrace, letting herself drown in his warmth for a few more seconds. "I'm sorry. Ang tanga ko. Ang dami nang nagsasabi na hindi naman ako pangit o ano pero... nahihirapan parin akong maniwala." She remembered her highschool class' jeers as she passed through the corridors, their laughter whenever someone forced her to make a blunder.

"Hindi ka tanga." He leaned in closer, his chin resting against her bare shoulder. "Sadyang... inapi ka lang ng mga tao sa paligid mo noong bata ka kaya mababa ang tiwala mo sa sarili. Pero ayos lang yun, naiintindihan ko. Mahabang proseso din yan - nawala din ang confidence ko pagkatapos ng Tirad."

"At susubukan ko ring... um, magtiwala sa sarili ko," she promised. She couldn't  _force_ herself to gain confidence and see herself as beautiful but she could at least  _try,_ bit by bit. Maybe she could see something she would like beyond those imperfections that keep surfacing in front of her. "Salamat, ha?"

He kissed her cheek lightly with a small, throaty chuckle. "Basta ba ikaw, kahit ano pa yan."


	4. The Ballad Of

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay ang Goyong make an important discovery.

_She went home that night with a small spark kindling at the back of her mind._

_The second day of festivities was as bright and lively as ever. Some of the younger men and women from town rode boats that took them along the river so they could fill its surface with small, white flowers, while the older members held a vigil in the church. Poleng didn't mind. She feared the river in the past years that she had attended the fiesta and it was about time that she got acquainted with it. Joining a flock of women clutching white flowers close to them, she alighted upon a delicate looking boat as singing arose from the back of the small crowd._

_She could see the ladies whispering among them as they gazed at her, batting their lashes and fluttering their fans. She had a vague feeling that they were talking about her and yet she did not have it in her to confront them. She wished to enjoy the fiesta as a normal girl would, nothing else. She had to savor every bit of freedom she had, feel everything she can before her parents finally found a suitable husband for her. Besides, she was hoping that she could see the boy from last night again._

_The procession of boats began, the vessels gliding upon the rushing waves of the river, the song wafting from the shore turning into a haunting melody. Poleng drank it all in, oblivious to everything else that had been going on around her._

_That was until the girls beside him stood up and gave the frail, sickly girl a firm push that sent her tumbling off the boat, punctuated by cruel giggling from the others onboard._

_She flailed and struggled though she knew that it would be futile. She was no swimmer, and her clothes weighed her down in the worst possible way, but she had to do something. The cold rush of the powerful river fared better against her though and pulled her under. Fear gripped her - she couldn't hold her breath forever._

_A few agonizing seconds passed, feeling more like minutes that could have stretched into hours, until an arm wrapped around her waist, anchoring her and hoisting her up. Coughing and spluttering, she and her savior made it to the shore. She would have fallen flat on the grassy, muddy ground, gasping for air, if it weren't for her savior keeping her on her feet._

_Speaking of her savior, he - definitely a he - was coughing and spluttering as much as she did, but he was kind enough not to let go of her. Looking up to thank him, all words stuck at the tip of her tongue as she realized just who it was._

_Gregorio, the boy from last night, was the one who pulled her out of the water._

**Thursday, 05-18-16, 10:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Jay was in so much pain that morning, having skipped one of her medications the previous night. She knew it was _wrong_ but she just didn't have it in her to disrupt Vince and Addie's activities. She already accepted the gentle scolding she received from Goyong and yet she still kept mum on what actually stopped her. It wasn't something that she should be divulging, after all. Still, the pain was enough to convince her to actually rest that day instead of struggling and making a fuss. After all, she had to be on her best possible shape if she were to train and face Dolores properly.

She didn't even complain when Goyong actually decided to stay at home to look after her. She was sure he was surprised when she actually asked him for breakfast in bed so she could actually conserve as much energy as she could. His eyes told her everything all the time.

It seemed like Vince and Addie got the hint though, as they hurried over to apologize while Goyong was off for a quick shower. She waved away their excuses, seeing in their eyes the only thing that drove them last night. They were in love, and that was enough for her.

The morning was spent in the living room with Goyong, sifting through Vince's journal in the hopes of finding the supposed clues to Poleng's grave while music blared from her phone. At least it was something _productive_ for her, instead of simply lying around and resting all day.

"Puro mga accounts lang ito ng law school days ni Vince noon eh," Goyong said, making a face and looking up at her. There wasa slight hint of frustration - and desperation - on his face. He wanted to find answers over Poleng's fate as much as she did. "Nasaan yung sinasabing clues ni Tito Selong?"

"Good point. Speaking of Tito Selong, nasaan na nga ba siya? Parang medyo matagal ko na siyang hindi nakikitang umaaligid sa Angeles, ah." Jay shifted, stretching her back in a languidly catlike manner. She hated the fact that she barely had passing knowledge of Spanish. She really couldn't help Goyong with the journal, as much as she wanted to, but still, listening to his musings while he sifted through the old pages still made her feel useful. Processing information with someone else was always helpful, she could definitely understand that.

He paused and turned to her with a slightly miffed expresion. "Ilang araw nang hindi nagtetext pero ang huling sabi niya ay papunta siya sa isang teacher's conference sa may Zambales," he explained. "Hindi ko alam kung wala bang signal doon o ayaw lang talaga niyang sumagot sa mga tawag at text ko."

She nodded in understanding. After all, Selong wasn't just smart and gifted with visions of the future - he was also quite unpredictable and eccentric. She supposed it helped him stay alive for years - the only resurrected hero without the ability to recover from any wound and illness. "Siguro sa tingin niya eh hindi naman natin kailangan yung tulong niya. Pero sa totoo lang, appreciated yung kahit anong hints, hindi ba?" They were still no closer to figuring out how to find Poleng's grave, or why Dolores wanted to go to it so much.

**Thursday, 05-18-16, 3:00 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

She wasn't sure just when exactly she dozed off after lunch, but the next thing she knew, Goyong was excitedly nudging her awake. She let out a groggy groan as she shifted from her perch - a beanbag on the floor - and turned to him while rubbing her eyes. "Anong meron?"

His paleness was a little alarming - he must have seen something that had shaken him. "S-Sa tingin ko may nakuha na akong  _clue_ ," he said in a low, hurried tone. He didn't look comfortable, not at all.

"May problema ba?" she asked, scuttling up to sit on the couch beside him. Even spending that slight amount of effort felt  _too much_ for her body, which exploded in a myriad levels of pain.

His arm wrapped around her waist, giving her a comforting squeeze that unfortunately did nothing to alleviate what she was feeling. The sentiment was well understood, though. "Wala, pero..."

"Pero...?" she began, trying to take deep breaths to calm herself.

He waved a piece of old, folded paper in his left hand. "Nakita ko itong nakaipit sa huling pahina nung journal."

Jay took it from him gingerly and unfolded it to reveal a letter written in faded, red ink. Though quite different from what she had grown accustomed to, she was sure that the handwriting was his.

_Aking minamahal na Tala,_

_Sana'y nasa mabuti kang kalagayan habang binabasa mo ang sulat na ito. Kababalik ko pa lamang dito sa Maynila ngunit nasasabik na akong makita kang muli. Inaalala kita lalo na't tag-ulan na at alam kong hindi maganda ito para sa iyong karamdaman. Hindi ko alam paano sabihin to ngunit nangungulila na ako sa iyo. Nangangako akong babalik ako ng Floridablanca sa lalong madaling panahon at gusto na kitang makitang muli, mahawakan ang iyong mga kamay, marinig ang tinig ng iyong boses._

_Ikaw ang tala ng aking buhay, atang pagibig mo ay ang araw na nagpapainit sa akin, kahit sa pinakamadilim at pinakamalamig na mga araw. At sa ngayon, ito ang aking magiging agimat hanggang sa ating muling pagkikita._

_Sumasaiyo, Sinag_

Jay looked up, trembling. She felt her heart skip a few beats as old, old memories flickered at the forefront of her thoughts. She couldn't remember what happened toward the end of their relationship yet she remembered exactly how it began. "Unang sulat mo sa akin - este, kay Poleng."  _Si Poleng ay si Poleng at si Jay at si Jay, kahit ano pa mang sabihin niya sa mga panaginip ko._

Goyong nodded, looking as anxious as the sixteen year old boy who befriended Poleng all those years ago. His trembling fingers brushed the old paper. "Tignan mo."

At the bottom, written in black ink that was old and yet seemed newer than the rest of the letter, was the word  _Tarlac_.

**Bonus**

**Thursday, 05-18-16, 3:00 PM, Holy Rosary Parish Church**

It was a cloudy summer afternoon for a change, and Rusca actually liked it. The cobblestone sidewalk by gates to the city's iconic church was alive with the summer crowd and it felt even better to walk hand in hand with Nena. The thought of them being  _engaged_ sent flutters and tremors through his stomach which were altogether quite welcome.

"Magshortcut na tayo sa likod ng simbahan," said Nena, the musical lilt of her voice making him feel warm all over. "Mas madaming jeep papuntang Clark doon, diba?"

He smiled and tightened his grip on her hand. "Oo, mas mabilis din yung hintayan," he agreed.

Heading into the church courtyard, he spotted someone surprisingly familiar in a black Game of Thrones hoodie, back turned to them.  _Jay?_ His friend was supposed to be resting at home with Goyong, not standing under the shade of the church entrance and taking pictures of it. "Bhe, nakikita mo ba ang nakikita ko?"

"Bhe, wala tayo sa Batibot," said Nena, still sounding sweet despite her teasing. Clearing her throat, a more serious look crossed her face. "Baka tinakasan niya si Goyong."

"Tanungin ko, sandali lang." Rusca headed for Jay and tapped her shoulder.

She turned and he nearly jumped.

She was definitely not Jay. They  _did_ bear an uncanny resemblance akin to that of Goyong and the twins, though her features leaned more on the mischievous side than Jay's fierceness. They were both had ethereal fairness in different ways, and her hair was dyed a rich gold. Confusion was etched on her face as she stared at Rusca.

"Kuya, diba naiwan ka sa..." she began in a deep yet soft voice, like silk to Jay's velvet. She paused, blinked, and shook her head. "Ah, I'm sorry. Akala ko yung housemate naming... _medyo busy._ "

"O-Okay lang." He blinked and shook his head. "Napagkamalan din kita kasi kahawig mo yung housemate naming nautusan na magpahinga. Um, bedrest."

"Ganun ba?" Her expression softened into a small grin. "Sana nga nagpapahinga yang housemate mo."

"Sana nga din," he sincerely agreed. Scratching his head, he knew that he had to extract himself from the awkward encounter. "Um, sige miss, mauna na ako."

"Don't call me miss," she told him, looking a little miffed. "Celeste na lang po, Kuya."

"Wag mo din akong tawaging Kuya," he shot back with a grin. "Ed nalang."

"Sige. Um, see you around po," she said in clear yet polite dismissal.

Nena was waiting for him with an amused smile. "Mistaken identity ata?"

"Mistaken nga." He paused, then took her hand. "Long lost twin ata ni Jay."


	5. The River

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visitor arrives

_They were all ushered back to her family estate - where her parents were waiting despite the fact that they weren't due to return for another week._

_Poleng was confused that her parents had nothing but gratitude for Goyong, though she was pleased by it. She received quite the scolding and yet was now allowed to wander the town - but only if she had Totillo and Goyong by her side. It was surprising, the way that the earnest boy who she learned was from Bulacan, admitted that his family had next to nothing and was only able to attend school by working for an uncle._

_The difference in their worlds fascinated Poleng, and she was glad when Goyong promised to visit again soon. There was a mischievous spark in his eyes when he leaned over to whisper, "Iingatan mo ang sarili mo," before he excused himself from the household after his meeting with her parents._

_As always, she went to speak to Totillo late that night, once her parents were already asleep and before he went off with some servant girl or another. She found him by the well, drawing buckets of water for the horses in her father's stable. He looked up as she approached and smiled as he always did. "Hindi ka ba makatulog, senyorita?" he asked in his usual teasing tone._

_Poleng smiled as she hoisted herself up, sitting at the edge of the well without a care over the water that slowly blotted the thick folds of her skirt. "Hindi nga. Kay raming nangyari ngayon."_

_"Kay rami nga," agreed Totillo. He rested against the brick edge of the well, eyeing her curiously. "Tila wala naman siyang balak manligaw sa iyo."_

_"Wala nga. Hindi na ako aasa." She looked up at the vast expanse of the starry skies above, noting that she had never found them so beautiful before. She couldn't hope that the boy she was starting to get infatuated with would think of wooing her. Their worlds were too different, and with a face like his, he surely would have a sweetheart or two already._

_Totillo nodded. "Malupit ang pag-asa." Setting down the buckets on the grassy ground, he eyed Poleng quite wryly. "Magpahinga ka na. Maraming nangyari ngayon at masama sa kalusugan mo ang pagpapagod._

**Thursday, 05-19-16, 7:00 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Not having to help cook dinner for the household felt like such an odd experience for Jay. She and Rusca - occassionally with Goyong - were usually in charge of the team's meals. Being able to sit around in the living room with Cat and watch the evening news while Rusca took care of the meal with Addie felt like a new experience. She supposed it was good for her - she really couldn't cook meals all the time if she was expected to recuperate as fast as possible.

She supposed that it was _healthy_ for her.

"So, may nadiscover na daw kayo ni Goyong tungkol sa libingan ni Poleng?" Cat asked curiously as she leaned back with a feline stretch of her back.

A small sigh escaped Jay's lips. "Sa _Tarlac_ daw, pero wala namang exact deets kung saan sa Tarlac. Hindi naman kami pwedeng mag-ikot ikot nalang basta doon, hindi ba?"

Cat nodded in agreement. "True yan. Since naubos na nina Vince at Etong yung mga descendants ni Totillo sa Bulacan, bakit hindi nating subukang maghanap ng mga descendants niya sa ibang lugar? Baka nga meron man din dito sa Pampanga eh."

That sounded like a good idea. "Pwede, pero kailangan muna nating hanapin yung mga ibang descendants niya. Subukan kong hingin yung number ng ilan sakanila kay Etong." Jay closed her eyes, thoughts drifting over to Tarlac and all the secrets that the place could be hiding from her. She had never truly been there, though she passed through the province whenever they went to northbound trips outside of Pampanga. She supposed there was nothing interesting for her to see in there anyway - until now.

_Malapit na ba tayong magkita, Poleng?_

The thought made her skin crawl, made goosebumps make their mark against her skin. Jay and Poleng have always been quite different from each other, and that was a fact. The fact that it was so easy to distance the past and the future made the looming convergence feel quite unsettling.

**Thursday, 05-19-16, 8:00 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

The dinner table was quite crowded that night as Angela, Tina, and Marge joined them for the meal. Jay was sure that despite their sheer number, she wasn't the only one who noticed the Bernal brothers' absence, especially as neither of them answered calls and texts. Cat was already fidgeting as she typed away on her phone, while Paco was whispering something to Rusca and Joven.

No one touched their food, the conversation an anxious buzz. The sound of the gates opening made everyone jump, as if they were made of coiled springs that finally released the tension. The sound of Manuel's Revo roaring into its spot in the garage was music to their ears.

The anxiety burst, making way to relief.

"Akala ko naman may ginawa na sa inyo si Dolores!" Cat snapped as Jose stepped through the back door and into the dining room.

Jose smiled, stepping aside to give space to his brother. "Sorry, alam niyo naman yung signal sa  _cabalenan_ kapag minsan. Um, sinundo kasi namin ni Kuya Manuel yung pinsan namin."

Manuel stepped in next, taking off his hat at the same time. "Nag-invite kasi sa binyag ng, um, pamangkin ng asawa niya. Pero makikituloy muna daw sa atin kahit mga ilang araw lang."

A woman entered next, making Jay's jaw drop.

It was almost like looking into a mirror that showed deliberate differences between a person and her reflection. The woman could have passed as her twin, despite the fact that her face held more mischief, her lipstick was a deep brown, and her wavy hair rippled like molten gold instead of crimson fire. Even the way they bore themselves were eerily similar, and the stranger even wore a copy of Jay's hoodie.

"I'm sorry sa abala," she said in a deep yet gentle voice, silk to Jay's velvet. "Medyo matagal na kasi akong hindi nakakabisita dito sa Angeles."

"I know you!" exclaimed Rusca. "Ikaw yung ategirl kanina sa may simbahan!"

The girl's brown eyes widened at the sight of him and smiled. "Hello ulit! Ikaw si Ed, tama ba?"

Rusca nodded excitedly. "At ikaw si Celeste."

"Celeste Bernal, twenty three years old na since last March 13 at engaged na sa boyfriend since last December." Celeste winked at him and turned back to the rest of the team. Slowly, deliberately, she flicked her arms, letting an array of knives fall out into a corner of the dining hall, disarming herself in front of them. It was a move Jay approved of, noting that even the amount of knives they kept around themselves in public were the same. Tina and Marge's eyes went wide with awe at the sight of the weapons, while Joven let out a wince at the metallic clang.

"Holy shit, ang badass niya din," breathed Tina, her voice full of approval.

"Parang ikaw na ikaw talaga ano, Jay? Mahinhin nga lang siyang magsalita," noted Marge.

"Amazing and interesting," agreed Jay, turning back to their visitor.

Celeste took off her hoodie, which caused a hushed silence in the room as she wrapped it around her waist.

"Oo nga pala," she said, patting the obvious bump on her belly, which also looked good upon her hourglass figure, all breasts and hips like Jay. "Buntis ako."

Jay exchanged glances with a startled Goyong, and she wondered if he was thinkingof the same thing.  _Gusto ko din magkaroon ng anak at pamilya someday pero yung katawan ko... Ano na, bes?_

**Thursday, 05-19-16, 10:00 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

"Well, since hindi na nga naman nagagamit yung bunk bed ni Jose since lagi siyang nasa kwarto ni Cat, at least may tutuluyan si Celeste," Goyong was saying as he set the alarm for Jay's late night medication. "Medyo...  _weird_ nga lang, ano?"

"Ganyan din ba pakiramdam mo pag nakikita mo yung kambal?" Jay asked, perching at the edge of her bed.

He nodded wryly and scooted over to her with a grimace. "Nung bata ako, nasanay naman ako dahil kasama kong lumaki si Kuya Julian."

"Ah." She let him take her hand and rub her palm gently, letting it relax her. "Nacurious tuloy ako - kung ganun din ako if ever na nabuntis ako. I mean...  _impossible_ sa ngayon dahil hindi ako healthy pero..."

"Impossible? May impossible para sayo?" Goyong leaned forward and gave her one of his tantalizing looks.

She sighed and scowled at him. "Alam mo naman ang ibig kong sabihin, hindi ba? Bawal nga ako sa sex at baka hindi kayanin ng puso ko, yung pagbubuntis pa kaya?"

"Kailan ka pa nakinig sa bawal? At kailan ka pa nagpatalo sa sinabi nilang hindi mo kaya?" His smile was so trusting, so painfully  _positive._ Maybe he was right.

"I want to start a family with you," she blurted out quickly. She felt herself blush like a smitten schoolgirl the moment she said kt.

"Ako din. Eto nga't engaged na tayo, hindi ba?" His smile widened at those words. He held out a hand and brushed her cheek with his warm thumb, sending pleasant shivers all over her body. _Punyeta, nauuhaw ata ako._  "Kilala kita, Jay. Halos wala atang impossible sayo. Para kang si Naruto.  _Believe it._ "

 _Believe it._ She was going to defeat Dolores herself. She was going to find a way out of her curse if possible. She was going to marry and start a family with Goyong.

"Tama ka. Maaga pa ngang masyado para magpatalo. " She never was the person who let the odds beat her, not even when they were stacked against her favor. She survived attempted murder at age sixteen, started a business with her brother at eighteen. She made it past encounters with dopplegangers and Dolores herself, lived through her condition and that accident.

"Alam ko." Goyong guided her to the bed, knowing just how tired and sore she felt, tucking her in and holding her close. He hesitated, the planted a kiss on her forehead. "Magpahinga ka na. Madaming nangyari ngayon at masama sa kalusugan mo ang pagpapagod."

"Masusunod, Henerahhhl." She snuggled close to him, remembering a small nugget of memory from her past life, smiling at the thought of the parallels. She and Poleng could never be the same and yet... the thought of being close yet so far from finding her grave tantalized her.  _Tarlac._

Then there was the thought of Celeste, bright and beautiful and glowing as she patted the six month old baby she was carrying in her belly. If she was so beautiful and yet  _looked_ like Jay, then could the same also be said of her? Was she really beautiful, like everyone said, and not simply a recipient of her loved ones' flattery?

Their resemblance also triggered a quiet question at the back of her head - a question she was afraid to vocalize. Though she loved her dead father, who doted on her and her brother, Joven Hernando IV was known not only for being one of the best - and most generous - cardiologists in the day. He was also known for being promiscuous. Could it have been possible that they could have an unknown sibling walking around somewhere in the city?

Oh, she was sure that Celeste wasn't a Hernando. The latter mentioned over dinner that she was a Bernal through her mother and actually had an American father. Still, her arrival triggered the idea of having an unknown sibling, and the hope thay they could reconnect with whoever it was. It was just fanciful, wishful thinking, she supposed, as her father remained quite loyal to their mother, and yet the idea took hold of her and somehow couldn't let go.

She drifted off to sleep with her thoughts like colorful ink seeping into the parched paper of her mind.


	6. High

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay has some girl time.

_Weeks passed and everything had started falling into familiar routine. Poleng finally stopped sneaking out of the house, now that she knew she could actually roam the town without resorting to secrecy. She really couldn't thank Goyong enough for the new degree of freedom she could finally enjoy. She knew she would still be trapped in the confines of the town - and maybe the woods surrounding it - but it was better than nothing at all._

_Goyong returned for her once a week, usually on a Saturday, fresh from his classes in Ateneo, a steadily growing familiar bright smile on his face. He always turned up at their doorstep right after breakfast, whether Poleng's parents were there or not, patiently waiting for Totillo to let him into the house._

_Poleng drank in his stories about Bulacan, of life with two sisters and three other brothers, of studying under the guidance of the Jesuits of Ateneo, as they walked through the edge of the quiet woods that surrounded Floridablanca, left alone to their own devices as Totillo ran off carousing with other girls. She told him in turn about what it was like being a prisoner of her own home, of being ill at times to the point that she could barely breathe. In his eyes, she never saw the pity that her parents and most the servants at home gave her. She only saw admiration._

_"Isa kang matapang at malakas na binibini," he said quietly, picking up a handful of wildflowers. He deftly fashioned them into a crown as he peered at her through his lashes. "Hindi ka nagpapatinag sa iyong karamdaman."_

_"Alam kong hindi ito nararapat para sa isang babae, ngunit..." She paused, wondering if he would laugh at her or judge her for her odd interests. "Gusto kong makita ang mundo, galugarin ang lahat ng sulok nito at matutunan ang ano mang maaari nitong ipakita at ituro sa isang tulad ko."_

_He smiled and placed the crown flower upon her brow. "Huwag mong sabihing hindi ito nararapat para sa isang babae. Parepareho lang naman tayong may mga pangarap, hindi ba?" He paused before leaning forward, his musky scent sending a rush of excitement right through her. "Ako man, gusto ko ring makita ang mundo - at mukhang mas magiging nakawiwili ito kung may kasama akong katulad mo."_

**Friday, 05-20-16, 11:00 AM, Marquee Mall**

Jay had to really admit it, she loved sleeping in. She barely acknowledged it when Goyong left the room, or when he returned about an hour later to tell her that he was off to work. The sun was shining brightly in the room when she finally decided to get up, stretching languidly before pulling on proper clothes for the day and padding down the stairs. She had spent the past years always being on the go, taking care of herself and her brother and then the rest of the team, that having a lazy day was nigh unthinkable for her.

The breakfast table was surprisingly crowded. She expected everyone to be away, even Paco, as he was already busy going to faculty after faculty meeting to prepare for the beginning of a new school year. Aurora, Addie, Tina, Marge, Nena, Clara, and Angela were seated around the table with mugs of coffee in hand, accompanied by a glowing Celeste. They all looked up as she padded down the stairs, and Aurora leapt to her feet to meet with her. "Good morning, 'Nay! Ang sarap ata ng tulog mo, ah!"

"Uh, ganun na nga." Jay grinned and ruffled the girl's hair good naturedly. "Beauty rest nga naman, sabi nila."

"Maganda yan, kailangan mo yung energy mo," Clara said. "We have a long day ahead."

Jay squinted at the assembled women as she plowed through breakfast. "May masama kayong binabalak."

A mischievous grin lit up Nena's face as she leaned across the table, dark eyes glittering. "Well, since nakiusap din naman itong si Manang Celeste na samahan nating magmall hopping sa Angeles ngayon, why not kill two birds in one stone?" She glanced at Tina and Marge with a wide grin before turning back to Jay. "Diba kailangan niyo ng mga, um, gamit para dun sa class reunion? Actually pupunta din kami ni Angela since kasama sa reunion yung batch nina Joven at Rusca, so pwede na tayong magtulungan na bumili ng mga anek anek, yes or yes?"

No one could complain about it and so they found themselves heading for the mall in the loud red pickup truck that Clara was test driving for a customer. As it was a Friday smack dab in the middle of summer, Marquee Mall was quite crowded despite the early hour. Jay didn't mind it, not at all. The crowded mall felt like a welcome change after spending some days in the hospital, then cooped up at home.

"First agenda na ba yung dress?" Marge asked anxiously. Surprisingly, she was dressed in the tomboyish shirt and jeans and sneakers ensemble that Jay and Tina were known for instead of the dresses that she prefered for ease.

Jay nodded, feeling a quiet flutter in her gut. She turned to Celeste, who was looking around curiously. "Um, marunong ka bang mamili ng dresses? We could use some help eh."

Celeste motioned to her tomboyish clothes. "Sorry, hindi rin ako girly," she said with the smallest of smiles. "I'll try to help naman, wag kayong magalala."

The department store was a world full of possibilities. Array upon array of dresses in all colors, shapes, and sizes lined the women's wear section, especially as the mall was geared toward the citizens of Angeles who were higher up in the social ladder. Jay cringed at the thought of that but she supposed it had its uses - like right now. _Burgis at old money daw ang mga Hernando ng Angeles pero hello, hindi ko man nga alam anong dapat gawin sa cocktail party!_ Last time she attended one was for her JS Proms, and she mostly lurked in the corner of the function hall with her friends during those two consecutive years that she attended the events.

"Maganda naman yung mga body type niyo," Addie noted, fingers trailing down the length of a pretty, ivory lace dress. "Hindi kayo mahihirapang maghanap."

**Friday, 05-20-16, 12:30 PM, Marquee Mall**

Jay wasn't sure how they convinced her, but she agreed to buy a little black dress - not just a little black dress, as a matter of fact, but a _figure hugging_ little black dress. She was pretty sure that she would die of shame once she actually wore it to the party and yet she took it in as yet another challenge. She was pretty sure that the others would fight tooth and nail if she didn't pick it out, especially as they also grabbed their own black dresses in different cuts. She supposed that the pretty, sparkly ruby heels didn't look bad either. _Kailangan ko lang matutong maglakad sa mga yun before next month._ She once had to learn how to dance the singkil in three weeks. Would this be any different?

"Mabuti pa kayo," Celeste said in amusement over lunch. "Mabilis magshopping. Yung mga kapatid ng boyfriend ko... nakow, pag minsan nauubos yung maghapon pero wala pang nabibili."

"Madami atang mga kapatid yang labidabs mo," noted Nena.

Celeste nodded eagerly, fiddling with her pretty vintage pendant, a green teardrop. "Believe me, pag minsan hindi na rin namin alam kung paano sila bilangin. Pag minsan mababaliw ka na din sa dami ng tao sa bahay nila."

Jay patted her smooth arm kindly. "We know your pain, bro - um, sis. Madami ring tao sa mansyon," she said. It had already became habit for her to mother everyone at home, helping with the meals and also giving advice - no matter how ineffective she was at that.

They eventually veered right back to the department store for makeup. Jay was pretty glad they brought Addie and Angela with them to help them figure out what _exactly_ they would be needing. Jay was used to her bright red lipstick and chunky eyeliner but everything else beyond that was out of her league.

"Bagay mo to," Angela told her, swatching a pretty red lipstick on the inside of her wrist. "Matte pa, usong uso."

They barely finished shopping for makeup when Jay noticed someone familiar watching them. She felt her entire body freeze up when she realized that it was her ex boyfriend, Miguel, standing between rows of hair products, his deepset brown eyes glued to them with something that Jay could only describe as uncontained lust.

"Ayos ka lang ba?" Marge whispered in her ear.

Jay nodded, feeling her fists clench as Addie tensed beside her too. "Ok lang ata ako... pero pakshet, ex ko yang nakatitig sa atin."

The rage simmered and bubbled as Miguel approached them, a swagger in his strut. He gave them one of those smiles that used to take Jay's breath away but only left her disgusted now. "Hi." His eyes flickered to Jay before rapidly moving on to Celeste, taking in her baby bump before focusing on her pale face. "I never knew na may _kakambal_ pala ang ex ko."

"Wala siyang kakambal," Celeste said, sounding pleasant and polite and boyish as she always did. "I'm Celeste Bernal - bisita nila from Tarlac."

"I see you're pregnant," he continued in his snakey, oily voice. "I don't mind pregnant women - especially if they're _hot bombshells like you._

"Huy, ang creepy ng ex mo," Nena whispered.

Jay closed her eyes, remembering the way he wouldn't even let her go out with him for a movie until she learned how to kiss him properly. "You don't know half of it, teh."

Celeste never lost her kindly smile as she regarded the slime of a man in front of her, though she clutched her paper bags tighter. "I'm sorry, hindi ako interesado sa mga katulad mo. Besides, may tatay ang anak ko at ikakasal na kami sa November."

Miguel leaned forward, too close for comfort. "What he doesn't know won't hurt."

Jay felt her rage swell at that, but before she could do anything, Celeste hit Miguel with a strong uppercut that sent him sprawling on the floor. Standing side by side with Jay, the two women pointed their knives at him.

"I thought you got the hint already," Celeste said, still sounding so polite and gentle. "Mukhang hindi pala."

"Miguel, I thought you've learned your lesson na," Jay added with a cluck of her tongue. "I'm so disappointed.

"Hindi lang pala kayo magkamukha, magkaugali pa. _Bitches._ Pasalamat kayo at di pa kayo nahuhuli sa mga kutsilyong yan," Miguel spat.

"May permit to carry kami." Tina stepped forward, the eskrima swords hanging from her back clinking menacingly. "Sucks to be you. Now, alis na kung ayaw mong gumawa pa kami ng mas malalang eksena."

Miguel shot them his worst glare before scrambling away.

"Fucking fuck," Jay called after him. "Mahulog ka sana sa hagdan!"

**Friday, 05-20-16, 14:30 PM, Brgy. Pandan**

No one would ever be prepared for the Friday afternoon traffic, despite the fact that most of them have traversed it their entire lives. Clara, their driver, wouldn't stop cursing at everyone around her, which was understandable.

"Jay," Marge whispered from her perch at the back of the car. "I'm sorry kung medyo ano pero... may gusto sana akong hingin na favor."

"Basta kaya ko, shoot lang." Jay felt an odd tug in her gut, some sort of anticipation settling in her. "Anong meron?"

Marge hesitated, as if wondering how to word it. "Gusto ko sanang, um, magpaturo ng self defense. I mean, nakita ko yung ginawa niyo kay Miguel kanina at... naisip ko lang na sobrang helpless ako if ever man na may mangharass sa akin o kung... may ibalak man sina Dolores."

The anticipation exploded into excitement. It would be a great way not only to keep Jay preoccupied, she could also stay fit while teaching Marge everything she knew about self defense and knives. "No problem." She grinned at her friend and smoothed the latter's electric blue hair. "We can start tomorrow, my young padawan."


	7. Pressure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay starts training

_Poleng wasn't sure exactly when she realized that she was in love, but in the midst of the weekly visits, she was growing to realize that she was falling hard for Goyong. Still, she knew her place and for someone like her, it was better to keep her mouth shut and her head down. She didn't even know if he was planning to court her, or if he really just wanted to extend his hand in friendship. She didn't want to delude herself into thinking that someone like Goyong could ever actually want her. He was handsome and quite kind, and she was just a sickly girl. He had already established that he wasn't even interested in the family fortune, having refused any kind of reward for rescuing her._

_It kept her up at night, the way smitten young women like her were supposed to, wondering about his next visit, wondering about what ifs, wondering about what her parents would think._

_"Alam kong iniibig mo na yung Gregorio na yun," Totillo scoffed as she watched him tend to the garden one morning. He turned to her, arms crossed, an odd look on his face. "Nakita ko naman kung paano mo siya tignan."_

_"Hindi naman mahalaga yun," she said quietly, picking a flower and giving it a quick sniff. "Hindi ko lugar ang humanga at umibig."_

_Totillo hesitated before flashing a brilliant smile. "Poleng, nakikita ko din kung paano ka niya tignan. Tiyak akong umiibig din siya sa iyo."_

_Hope could make a fool out of her and yet she couldn't help but entertain the possibility that Totillo was presenting._

**Saturday, 05-21-16, 8:30 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

It was a good day. Jay woke up alone again, but it was alright with her. Goyong was probably up to  _something_ downstairs, and she just hoped that he wasn't busy causing trouble so early in the morning. After all, that was her job.

Padding through the hallway, she found Celeste standing at the corner of the stairs, staring at the pictures hanging along the wall. She fought back a flinch at the sight of the picture in the center - a picture of herself back in the days when her mother simply did not care, back in the days before her father died and she was subjected to daily abuse.

"Yup, kami ng nanay ko yan," she said, making the pregnant woman jump.

Celeste turned with her usual polite smile, eyes gauging the other woman's reaction. "Hindi ata kayo close noon..." she began.

"Mas close ako kay Papa noon, sa totoo lang. Doctor siya pero palagi siyang may oras para sa amin ni Kuya Joven." Jay descended the stairs until the two of them stood side by side, staring at the little girl and her dark hair and red dress and nervous smile. "Distant siya sa amin ni Kuya Joven magmula pa nung bata kami," she explained. "Naging...  _abusive_ siya pagkamatay ni Papa noong second year high school ako. Seven years na niyan siyang nakakulong sa August."

"Close kami ng mama ko, pero hindi ko nakilala yung tatay ko." Celeste smiled and tucked a lock of golden hair behind her ear. She turned back to the pictures with a more thoughtful look on her face. "Basta ang alam ko lang, nakilala niya nung may trabaho pa siya sa America. Foreigner daw eh. Medyo naging issue yun sa mga ibang kamag anak namin eh - na anak ako sa pagkadalaga ng nanay ko, at galing pa sa ibang bansa yung tatay ko."

Jay's heart went out to the other woman. "Hindi ideal pareho ang families natin, ano? Pero sa tingin ko swerte din tayo in a way, kahit na ganyan yung pinanggalingan natin."

"Totoo yan. Kung hindi ganyan ang pinanggalingan natin, I think hindi rin tayo magiging ganito." Celeste smiled at her kindly as she started fiddling with her pendant. "Nakatulong din sila, hindi ba?"

Loud footfalls alerted them to someone making their way up the stairs. Etong and his cheeky smile was standing right behind them, arms crossed and obviously up to no good. "Magkasama pala yung pula at gintong pakwan," he noted wryly. "Hindi pa ba kayo kakain?"

"Alam mo naman bro, medyo nakakawalang gana kapag nasa mesa ka rin," said Jay.  _Hindi kami pakwan, pakyu ka._

Etong narrowed his eyes at her and turned to Celeste. "Wala ka rin bang ganang kumain pag nakikita mo ako, o gintong pakwan?" He reached out and gave her right breast a quick grope.

Celeste blinked, eyes flashing, all politeness gone. "Una, hindi kami pakwan. Pangalawa, you don't just grope women. Pangatlo, do not _engage_ with pregnant women.e" With a swift move, she hit Etong with a clean uppercut, sending him flying down the stairs.

"Holy shit, dragon ka rin pala," Jay said with a grin.

"You don't mess with dragons," Celeste said smugly.

**Sunday, 05-22-16, 10:30 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Celeste left earlier that morning, leaving promises to keep in touch. Jay felt pleased with making a new friend but now she had a something new to preoccupy herself with. Makeshift wooden knives in her hands, she walked around the backyard enclosure that used to serve as an herb garden, circling Marge with a draconic grin while Tina, Nena, and Angela watched from the entrance.

"So self defense lessons ang hanap mo, diba?" she said, tossing and catching one of her wooden weapons. "Alam kong alam mo rin na this isn't just about being badass."

"Alam ko," answered Marge, bouncing excitedly on her pristine blue sneakers. "Sabi ni Kuya Ed masakit ka daw magturo pero game lang ako diyan, okay? I mean, ayoko din namang maging helpless gaya noong sa past life ko..."

Jay stopped in front of her with a small, sad smile. "Hindi ko pa naaalala lahat ng nangyari sa past life ko pero alam kong medyo helpless din si Poleng."

Marge smiled back nervously. "Namatay si, uh, past Marge dahil nanlaban siya dun sa prayleng gustong manghalay sakanya."

A swell of sadness churned within Jay, but she fought it off.  _Patay na si past Marge. Patay na si Poleng. Hindi na nila kailangan ang awa at luha natin._ Still, she knew that she would have wept for both women if she had more time on her hands. "Well, hindi naman siguro uulit yung history, di ba?"

"Hindi na talaga dapat," agreed Marge.

Jay smiled in encouragement as she started to teach Marge what she knew about armed combat, knowing that mastering it would help Marge in unarmed forms of fighting. It was slow work, though Jay didn't mind it. Unlike her former students - Goyong, Jose, and Rusca - Marge knew next to nothing about self defense, meaning that they had to start from scratch. Jay didn't complain at all. On the contrary, she embraced the challenge of taking it slowly, knowing that it benefitted her too. After all, she also had to take it easy if she didn't want her body to give out.

She relished repeating the basic movements she started drilling into her pupil, relished every movement that tugged at her muscles. After days of rest, it felt like she was also learning to use her body for combat again. Yup, starting the lessons from the basics would  _definitely_ benefit her too.

"Sorry," Marge said during a quick water break. "Wala talaga akong background sa kahit anong klase ng self defense."

"Ayos lang yan," Jay told her with a bright grin, pausing to catch her breath. A tugging pain was starting in the center of her chest but she decided to ignore it. "Sa totoo lang, nakakatulong din sa akin itong ginagawa natin kasi... alam naman nating hindi na rin naman ako physically fit."

Nena scuttled over from her spot by the brick wall, her dark hair gleaming under the flecks of sunlight seeping through the gap in the makeshift shade made of old tarpaulin sheets. "You're both making progress naman," she said with her usual mischievous grin.

Tina nodded, still sitting atop the brick wall, eyes glittering in mischief. "At least walang naglulupasay sa inyo."

A grin crept up Jay's face. Her friend was right. Despite the effort she was putting into her training - effort which was putting a strain on her body - she was feeling on top of the world, not writhing in pain and agony. It was an empowering thought, and she liked it.

**Sunday, 05-22-16, 4:45 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Joven was waiting by the back door as Jay led the march into the dining room, arms crossed and a look of displeasure on his face. "Sigurado ka ba diyan sa ginagawa mo?" he asked a little too belligerently. "I mean, alam kong you think you're a self defense expert pero can't you leave it na lang sa iba? Kailangan mong magpahinga."

Anger flared up within Jay despite her constant attempts to insist that her brother meant well. "Hindi na ako bata, Kuya," she snapped. "I know I need to rest pero hindi naman ako hihiga nalang kung saan saan na parang invalid. I need to do something. Exercise. Live my life."

"I'm just worried. May sakit ka..." he began.

"I know, at worried din ako," she spat back. "Sa tingin mo ba talaga magiging healthy para sa akin yung paghiga higa na lang? Na para nalang akong baldado? Kasi it's not healthy for anyone na iparamdam mo talaga na may sakit sila."

With a huff, she stalked past her brother and headed for the stairs, ignoring the other ladies' stares. She barely made it halfway to the second floor when she bumped into Rusca, who still smelled faintly of ensaymada, like he always did when they were kids.

"Whoa, Juliet, mukha ka nanamang papatay ng tao," he said, his jovial tone fading away. "Hulaan ko, nag-away kayo ni Jovenito?"

"Ba't alam mo?" Jay asked suspiciously.

"Well, alam kong nasa mall yung mga del Pilar at si Paco kaya sigurado akong di kayo nagaway ni Goyong my bebelabs, so that leaves Joven." He shrugged good naturedly as he ran a hand through his hair. "Kung nagaway kayo ng mga ibang tao sa mansyon, sigurado akong hindi ganyan ang mukha mo."

She paused, staring at him. "Well... true."

He nodded sagely and ruffled her hair. "He means well, pero... nakakalimutan ata niya pag minsan na alam mo din namang alagaan ang sarili mo - at mas alam mo kung paano imaintain yang katawan mo, kahit na medyo matigas ang ulo mo pag minsan."

You don't know how true you are. "Besides, talagang iingatan ko naman yung sarili ko," she said with a small grin. "Ayoko rin namang pabalik balik sa ospital ah."

Rusca laughed at that. With another quick ruffle on her hair, he excused himself and made his way downstairs, leaving Jay to head to her room.

Cat was right outside, gathering some old, thick books that must have fell out of her hands. Jay scrambled down to help her without a second thought.

"Ang bibigat naman ng mga to," she noted idly.

Cat nodded as she hoisted the books into her arms. "May student kasi na nagpapatulong sa paper niya tungkol sa Japanese occupation at sa Death March," she explained.

Jay flinched, remembering her grandfather's stories - though Joven Hernando III was but a child during those days. "Mukhang heavy yang paper na yan." Straightening up, she opened the door for her roommate.

The distracted smile faded from Cat's face. "Medyo. Oo nga pala, akala ko nagtuturo ka ng self defense sa labas?"

Jay ran a hand through her unkempt hair, yelping as some of the tangles tugged at her head. "Nagtuturo nga ako kanina pero kinailangan na din naming tumigil. Pagod na si Marge at kailangan ko ding magpahinga. Alam mo naman, bawal din akong magpagod ng sobra."

Cat's smile was tinged with pride. "Maganda yan - alam mo yung limits mo. Your brother really should give you more credit instead of just babying you."

Jay couldn't help but grin at her, feeling an odd warmth blossom in her chest. Her brother might have forgotten it himself, but at least everyone else were treating her like an actual  _responsible_ adult instead of treating her like an invalid who was pushing her limits. Really, she knew when to stop. After all, she didn't want a trip back to the hospital.

_I'm sorry, Kuya, but you don't know the best this time._


	8. Hiwaga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team makes an important discovery

_Weeks passed, seasons changed, and the summer she deemed unending finally gave way to quiet showers of rain just weeks after her sixteenth birthday. The river outside the town had started to swell, flooding the outskirts of Floridablanca and drowning the fields of white wildflowers that Poleng had grown to love._

_Goyong's visits have been brief, on account of his travels becoming more difficult with the weather. Poleng didn't mind - on the contrary, she was learning to better appreciate the time that the to of them could spend together. It saddened her, the way that she couldn't tell him what she really felt. She supposed it was fine - after all, she was just a girl and girls are not allowed to tell their potential suitors what they felt. It would be inappropriate and besides, he might not even be trying to woo her. He hadn't mentioned anything of the sort, at least._

_Keeping her mouth shut would protect her from impropriety and the heartache that might be involved if her feelings were not reciprocated._

**Monday, 05-23-16, 8:30 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

It felt like two bombs were dropped that night over dinner.

Jay couldn't help but gape in horrified fascination at the first half of dinner. Cat arrived quite late, her silver dyed hair a mess, carrying a couple of folders close to her. "May balita ako," she announced as soon as she kicked off her black sandals, a terrifying gleam of excitement in her eyes. "Malapit na yung May 30 and alam niyo naman yung Angeles, palaging may pakulo yan sa Santacruzan."

 _Santacruzan._ The word itself dredged up awkward childhood memories, of her father's attempts to get her to join as a child, and her cringey refusal. "Let me guess, involved kayo ng mga staff sa Museo, ano?"

"Pak na pak!" Cat grinned as she strode toward her usual spot in the dining table, mischief coloring her excitement. She eyed them like a giddy girl. "As a matter of fact, we need your help kasi medyo... unique ang Santacruzan natin this year."

"Medyo kinakabahan ako sa pagkakasabi mo sa term na _unique _,"__ mused Paco.

"Good point." Manuel leaned forward, eyes narrowed. "Let me guess... mga lalake yung mga reyna at babae yung escort nila?"

Nonong flinched. "Kuya, wag namang ganyan!"

"Tumpak na pak!" Cat turned to them seriously. "Medyo biglaan, alam ko, pero ngayon lang din nila... uh... binigay sa akin yung responsibility eh. Medyo  _stressful,_ sa totoo lang, kaya I need your help. Like, pwede kayong magreyna tapos mga girlfriends niyo yung mga escort?"

Jay looked around, wondering what the male members of the team would look like, all dolled up for the occassion. He had already seen some of them in drag, but she was sure that  _this_ would be different. "Mukhang  _interesting_ yan."

The team murmured among themselves only for a quick minute, before voicing their agreement to join.

"Hindi naman siguro tayo makikilala," Jose added with a cheeky grin.

 _That_ announcement was nothing compared to what came next.

The team had just finished dinner when the gates clanged open, making all of them jump. No one was expecting any visitors, after all. Fingertips grazing the knife she hid under the waistband of her jogging pants, she made her way to the bay window in the living room which overlooked the garden and the bright green gates.

Half the team seemed to be standing right behind her, which was reassuring. Their alarm was all for naught though, as they quickly caught sight of Selong making his way through the expanse of trimmed grass that covered the entire garden. Jay was sure that she wasn't the only one breathing a sigh of relief.

"Si Tiyo talaga, hindi man lang tumawag o nagtext," Goyong said in slight bemusement as he unlatched the front door.

Selong stepped in, his hair wild and beard untrimmed as always, sporting a beatific smile upon his face. "Good evening!" he said in his usual, booming voice. "I'm sure na nagdinner na kayo."

"Uh, opo, kumain na nga po kami," Julian said politely, his expression every bit as bewildered as the rest of the team. "May problema po ba?"

"Wala naman." Selong ran a hand through his hair in a move that was reminiscent of Goyong. He blinked, then stared at the assembled team with eyes that spoke volumes of the years he's lived, of the knowledge he had gained from his foresight. "May nakita lang kasi ang aking mga mata."

"Tito, wag naman pong ganyan," Jay said with a light laugh. The future that Selong could see scared her at times, especially since he refused to tell her if she would survive the fifteenth of July or not.

"Oras na para hanapin kung sino sa inyo ang may...  _potential_ upang maging mga babaylan - gaya ng mga ninuno natin." Selong's smile never left his face. "Ito ang magiging paraan natin para matalo si Dolores."

Jay felt herself shudder at those words.  _Babaylan laban sa mangkukulam ba ang mangyayari dito?_

"Paano naman po natin mahahanap yung mga yun?" asked Joven. "I mean... wala nang mga babaylan."

Selong's smile widened. "Hijo, alam mo naman ang tagline ng BDO.  _We find ways._ "

**Friday, 05-27-16, 9:00 AM, Mt. Arayat**

The early morning sun was thankfully hiding behind a blanket of stormy clouds by the time the team assembled at the foot of the hiking trail. Jay could still hear her brother's disapproving warnings at the edges of her mind though it had been quite some time since Joven had _finally_ given up on trying to stop her. She turned toward the trail, feeling an odd kind of anxious anticipation building in her gut.

"Arayat, derived from  _Alaya - meaning navel_ , because our ancestors claimed that it was the center of the universe - is a very,  _very_ extinct volcano," Selong said, sounding every bit like the history professor that he was posing as. "Sinamba ng mga ninuno natin ito, lalo na't ang sabi nila eh dito nakatira ang isa sa mga pinakamakapangyarihan nilang diyos - si Apung Sinukuan, diyos ng araw at ng pandirigma."

Cat nodded in aproval. "Kapatid niya daw yung diyos na nakatira sa Pinatubo - si Apung Malyari? Siya naman yung diyos ng buwan at ng mga bukid."

"Tama, tama." Selong turned toward the mountain looming over them with a reverent air. "May  _mystical_ at  _spiritual_ connections ang bundok na ito - connections na ginamit din ng mga ninuno nating babaylan. Ang pinaka... makapangyarihang lugar dito ay yung White Rock, kung saan daw mismo nakatira si Sinukuan."

Jay stared at the mountain, wondering if it really did hide a way for some of them to tap into magic - magic that can combat Dolores' abilities and stop her for good.  _Sana kasama ako sa mga may potential para dito._ It was the best way for her to have a shot at facing Dolores equally and maybe even get rid of her curse.

Angela raised her hand tentatively, every bit like a student who needed clarifications over a professor's lecture. "Pero Mr. Selong, paano natin malalaman kung sino yung mga pwedeng gawing babaylan?"

Selong smiled at her. "Makikita niyo din,  _hija._ Makikita niyo din."

Plunging into the trail, the hiking took them much longer than expected, especially as they were quite a large group. Jay didn't mind it though. After all, it put less strain on her body and she was still having fun with it. The fresh mountain air made her feel so  _alive,_ like she could do everything if she put her mind to it. Maybe it was the magic of the place, or maybe it was the hope that Selong gave them.

It wasn't hard to freely admit that she was having  _fun._ From racing Goyong up some parts of the trail to watching Aurora roll around the grass in laughter, Jay was pretty sure that she hadn't felt this lighthearted since she was hit by the curse.

"Sa tingin mo ba talaga may naghihintay na _magic_ sa atin sa tuktok ng bundok?" Addie asked quietly during one of their breaks.

Jay raised an eyebrow at her, though she couldn't help but also smile. "Pagkatapos ng lahat ng nakita mo at nangyari sa buhay mo,  _skeptic_ ka parin?" she shot back.

Addie grinned back. "Touche. It's just... hard to believe na some of us could also have magic na pwedeng ipanlaban kay Dolores."

"Mahirap paniwalaan, yes," Aurora said as she joined them, a bottle of water in hand. "Pero tama si Nanay."

Jay's eyes kept being drawn back to the trail and whatever mystery it was leading to. She wondered whether one or more of them really had the power to defeat a centuries-old witch. "Besides, gusto kong makita kung paano natin malalaman yang mga may potential na maging babaylan." It would be a sight that was well worth the day's journey, she was sure.

**Friday, 05-27-16, 1:30 PM, Mt. Arayat**

The sun was reaching the zenith of its celestial dance when they finally cleared the last few meters and reached a clearing in the trail. Jay felt a tugging ache in her chest which she dismissed, though she was well aware of her brother's concerned stare. They ate a quick lunch and snapped a few pictures to commemorate their trip, and Jay even agreed to smile for the camera though she must have looked even more of an awkward mess already.

They started their ascent upon the rocky ridge that would lead them to a junction in the trail, and the White Rock which was their actual destination. It was quite a challenge, especially as most of them were not used to hiking up mountains, but it was enjoying nevertheless. Birdsong accompanied them as they cleared the last few meters of the trail that led them to the rock and the northern peak beyond it.

The White Rock wasn't anything  _magical_ if one went by looks. It was simply an outcrop made of cooled lava that was said to have been created during its last eruption, hundreds of thousands - if not millions - of years ago. It had been vandalized so many times too, names painted and carved upon its surface as a silent witness to those who had sought it out before.

A name, scrawled in green ink, caught Jay's attention.  _Celeste Bernal._

Selong was already prepared with the paint that they would be using to mark their ascent. "Sige lang, hindi naman illegal."

He began to quietly murmur a song in an unfamiliar, haunting language as they went on to write their names. Jay couldn't understand what he was doing but it reeked of magic. Her skin crawled in a not exactly  _unpleasant_ way as she stepped away from the rock to join them, having written her name last.

"Well, what now?" Clara called out.

Jay filtered out their conversation, feeling a sudden warmth bloom from her chest. It wasn't her curse, she was sure of it. It didn't feel malevolent. As a matter of fact, it made her feel at peace. She closed her eyes briefly, embracing the feeling. It felt familiar - too familiar - though she couldn't find any memory to connect with it.

A faint white glow surrounded her as she opened her eyes - and she wasn't the only one. Aurora, Tina, and Marge were bathed by the light. An even  _frailer_ sheen surrounded the del Pilars."

"Holy fuck, ano to?" Aurora asked, eyes wide, as the glow finally began to fade out, taking along the warm feeling that it brought up.

"It means, we have four ladies to train as powerful babaylans - and three gentlemen na may kakaunting, um, gifts." Amusement lit up Selong's eyes as he regarded the team. "Mas hiyang ng mga babae ang pagiging babaylan dahil mas makapangyarihan sila. Mas may... connection... sila sa magic. Mas mahaba at mahirap din ang kanilang pagsasanay pero mas makapangyarihan sila. May mga lalaki din na may  _spark,_ ngunit kakaunti lang ang kakayahan nila. Mostly sobrang minimal lang, gaya ng kapangyarihan kong makita ang future. Kaunting  _push_ lang naman ang kailangan nila para matutunang gamitin ang mga kapangyarihan nila."

Jay felt herself grin as she exchanged glances with Aurora, then Tina and Marge. "Don't worry, Sir Selong. Challenge accepted."  _Bring it on_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arayat was considered the center of the universe ng ancient Kapampangans. Apparently there was a creator goddess named Mangatya who wove the universe and accidentally dropped her needle sa mundo natin. The impact created Arayat, hence the mystical connotations.


	9. Umaapaw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay dreams

_The rain had let up for a few weeks, thankfully, meaning that the people could go back to their farms and Poleng could wander the town again. Her parents were away, the town and its people felt so alive, and it seemed like Totillo was as eager as she was. All in all, it was a wonderful Saturday morning._

_There was one thing that bothered her though - the fact Goyong was not around, first thing in the morning. Everyone had been so used to his arrival just after breakfast, and the lack of his presence as the minutes ticked by into hours worried Poleng. She wondered if something happened to him, or if he had finally grown tired of her. It happened, she knew, she heard whispers among the other women that some of them had lost admirers and lovers that way. Then again, Goyong was neither an admirer or a lover, was he? He was just a friend._

_"Huwag mo siyang pag-iisipan agad ng masama," Totillo told her as she simply decided to watch him tend to the roses in the garden. "Sa nakikita ko'y hindi ka niya iiwan."_

_Poleng bit her tongue, unwilling to contradict him, hoping against hope that he was right._

_The night was as beautiful as day, the hustle and bustle under the daylight replaced with a sort of peaceful calm that she would have appreciated in another life. She decided to sleep early that night, sleep away the disappointment bubbling in her gut. She had barely changed into her sleepwear when she heard a soft tap on the capiz windows. She would have ignored it, if it didn't happen again once, twice, thrice. Wondering if some local children were throwing rocks at her door, she nearly jumped when she realized that two people were standing right under her nose._

_One was Goyong, a cheeky smile on his face, still handsome and bright even under the semidarkness that was broken only by moonlight. A little behind him was a young man who was maybe just a handful of years older at the most, resembling him so much that they must have been brothers. Both of them were carrying guitars._

_"Anong ginagawa niyo dito?" she hissed, her voice carried by the stillness of the night._

_Goyong merely winked and began to sing._

**Sunday, 05-29-16, 2:00 PM, Plaridel Square**

After what they have learned in Arayat, life seemed to have gone back to a semblance of normalcy - there wasn't even a sign of Dolores and her two remaining dopplegangers at all. Selong promised to return soon to help find a teacher for four of them to become a full fledged  _babaylan,_ and no one has heard from him for almost forty eight hours already. Jay was fine with it, though. She still couldn't wrap her head around the fact that she did have the  _spark._ She was ill, after all, and wasn't exactly a good pupil either. She heard that a  _babaylan_ of old had the power to commune with spirits and she wasn't exactly the spiritual kind of person.

"Ang lalim ng iniisip mo," Goyong told her as they walked through the part of the square that dealt with dresses and costumes instead of crafts. "May problema ba?"

She shook her head and smiled, letting him take her hand. "Medyo... ninenerbyos parin ako dun sa usapang babaylan."

A gentle look of understanding lit his face. "Hindi lang ito dahil sa... kalagayan mo, tama ba ako?"

"Tama nga," she admitted quietly. "Pakiramdam ko talaga hindi ako, um,  _fit_ para maging babaylan."

"Ikaw pa?" His hand tightened around hers, eyes glittering in unsuppressed admiration. "Sa tingin ko'y magnininging ka bilang isang babaylan. Parang isang...  _tala._ "

Jay shuddered, remembering the old letter and the nickname Goyong had for Poleng.  _Tala._ Once again, she wondered just where exactly in Tarlac they were supposed to find the grave. "Binobola mo ba ako, Gregorio?"

The admiration never left his eyes. "Bakit kita bobolahin kung kaya ko namang magsabi ng totoo?"

Her cheeks flushed childishly at his words and she swiftly looked away, suppressing her smile.  _Gago ka, Gregorio! Kinikilig ako!_ "Hoy, tara na nga! Naghihintay na sina Cat sa dress shop, baka akala pa nila kung anong  _ginagawa_ natin."

"...anak, malamang," Goyong said as he followed her through the last row of shops.

Her cheeks went impossibly redder at those words, her mind straying to what she really wanted to do with him if she had no self control. "Magtigil ka, Gregorio."

**Sunday, 05-29-16, 4:00 PM, Angeles City Proper**

The road in front of the church smelled like  _horse shit_.

It was an overcast afternoon, which Jay supposed was a good thing, and everyone involved in the  _Santacruzan_ was assembled for the rehearsals. Participants in varying states of excitement and disgruntlement lined the paved sidewalk, while the horses that the men who would play as  _ladies_ would use were standing beside them.

"So, henerahhhhl," Jay said, leaning over to Goyong. "Handa ka na bang sumakay ng puting kabayo ulit?"

"Pag di ka nagtigil hindi kita ibibili ng Chippy mamaya," he hissed with a mischievous grin.

"Sorry, di ako natatakot sa threat mo," she said with a wink.

Julian peered from his spot right behind them. "From heneral to Reyna Elena ka na pala ngayon, Goyong. Anong feeling ng, uh,  _transformation_ mo?"

Goyong glanced at him with a roll of his brown eyes. "Isa ka pa!"

Jay couldn't suppress her laughter. "Malaking transformation nga yan!"

"Pinagtutulungan niyo ako!" complained Goyong.

Jay opened her mouth, about to retaliate with another jab, when she felt her skin crawl. Something was wrong. Exchanging glances with Goyong, she wasn't surprised to see that he was as alert as she was. "Naramdaman mo din yun, hindi ba?" she asked in a low voice.

He nodded almost imperceptibly, sharp eyes roaming around the crowd of onlookers. "May mali dito."

"Sa tingin niyo ba nasa paligid si Dolores?" Julian asked, a mixture of apprehension and reckless excitement on his face. "I can sense  _something_ kasi."

"Hindi lang ikaw," Tina said beside him, rubbing her arms anxiously. "Kanina pa nga tumataas yung balahibo ko dito. Sigurado naman akong walang kinalaman sa  _horse shit_ yun."

Jay couldn't help but look around as she listened to them discussing possible disguises by Dolores, wondering if it really was  _her_ or if it was one of her dopplegangers. The area was too public, too crowded for their enemies to lay a finger on them, though.  _Gusto ko man sabihing it's all in the mind, hindi parin ako mapalagay._

Too distracted, she barely noted it when the men were asked to mount the horses, slowly instructed by the staff, while the lady escorts were taught how to guide them with their reins. Her hands gripped the white horse's reins tight though, making sure that it wouldn't decide to cause trouble. Then again, Goyong was a  _fantastic_ horseman, she was sure, and he would probably command his mount better than Jay as the guide would.

"Hindi ko _siya_ makita," Marge said somewhere behind Tina, sounding like she was hopping from foot to foot in agitation. "Sigurado aong nandito lang siya."

"Si Dolores?" Tina asked in a hush tone.

Jay didnt have to see it to be sure that Marge was nodding. It seemed like their trek up Arayat and the White Rock was enough to  _awaken_ something in them. Something Jay was sure she was already putting to good use before. She had to admit though, she seemed to have grown even more sensitive to the presence of hostile magic.

She looked up at Goyong, mounted on his steed, and he looked back at her. "Nararamdaman ko parin siya," he said, as if confirming her unspoken question. His voice was tinged with fear and unease.

"Wala siyang magagawa sa atin dito," she told him, coating her voice with fire forged steel. She could not show her terror, knowing that maintaining her reputation as the  _fearless fool_ was the best way to keep everyone from succumbing to panic. Dolores preyed on their fear, and they shouldn't give her that satisfaction.

**Monday, 05-30-16, 2:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

They made it home without incident, though the day's action meant that she had to sleep early. Her health was still precarious at best, and she had to make sure her body cooperated. Rest was necessary.

_It was the first time that she dreamed of Poleng again after Dolores' attack._

_It was always the same forest clearing, the same faint smell of roses, the same eerie silence. It felt familiar but her memories were too muddled for her to properly grasp._

_Poleng stood in front of her as she always did, dressed in her creamy blouse and crimson skirt, her hair held up in its customary bun. "Malapit na," she whispered to Jay, her soft , high voice so gentle, so perfect. "Malapit niyo nang mahanap ang aking himlayan."_

_"Alam naming nasa Tarlac pero, uh, malawak ang Tarlac, bhe," Jay said, a hand on her hip._

_Poleng's smile was too hopeful. "Alam ko, ngunit... malapit ka nang makabalik kung saan nagtapos ang lahat noon. Nararamdaman ko ito. May kailangan ka ring tapusin dito, upang magsimula."_

_Jay frowned, wondering what that meant. It didn't make any sense to her, anyway. "Okay, gotcha. May kailangan akong gawin doon na sobrang importante. Copy. Roger that."_

_Poleng leaned forward, emphasizing that despite her waifish build, she was still noticeably taller. "Marami ka pang pagsubok na kailangang pagdaanan, alam ko iyon, lalo na at magsasanay ka na din upang maging isang babaylan. Alam kong matatag ang iyong loob at handa ka para sa lahat ng ito." She paused, as if wondering how to go on. "Ikaw ang lahat ng ipinangarap ko sa sarili ko noon. Maganda, matapang, at malakas. Batid kong napansin mo na din ang mga pagkakaiba natin."_

_Jay stared at the solid, voluptuous body she hated so much - the body that frail, sickly Poleng hoped to have. She wondered if there was really nothing wrong with it. She looked up, into the dark eyes of her past self, all the knowledge hidden behind their hazy history. "Hindi ka mabibigo sa akin."_

_"Alam ko." Poleng smiled as the dream faded into crimson mist._

She woke up to the sound of the her phone buzzing to remind her that it was time to take her late night medicine. She heard Goyong groan as she wriggled out of his embrace, silencing her alarm. She felt different, somehow.  _Bolder._ Poleng - her past self, her subconscious, whatever the dream represented - had put her blind faith in ill, broken, Jay.

"Nagpakita ba si Dolores sayo?" Goyong asked as his eyes fluttered open, alert like a soldier in the middle of a nighttime ambush.

"Relax," she said with a small grin. "Napanaginipan ko lang si Poleng."

Goyong raised an eyebrow. Sitting up, he ran a hand through his hair. "May, uh, ibig ba siyang sabihin sa iyo?"

Jay stared at him, wondering what he was thinking. She was sure that he knew the difference between her and Poleng - it was something she had seen for herself from the start. She knew he still felt  _something_ for the other girl, but she wasn't jealous, not at all. Why would she be jealous of... of  _herself_? As much as she hated to admit it, as much as Jay is Jay and Poleng is Poleng, Jay is also Poleng in a way.

"Pinalakas lang niya yung loob ko - uh, dahil may sakit ako, malapit na din atang magumpisa yung babaylan training ko." Jay looked into his eyes and saw only awe. "As awkward as it is to admit it, it actually worked. Kahit na, uh, sarili ko din ata yung nagsasabi sa akin nun."

He grinned and took her in his arms. "Pati ang past self mo tiwalang tiwala sa iyo, tignan mo na? Kayang kaya mong maging babaylan! May badass cred ka na nga eh."

She couldn't help but mirror his grin. "Badass cred?"

He pulled away and ruffled her hair. "Sige na, uminom ka na ng gamot. Baka wala pa akong escort bukas."


	10. Every Little Thing She Does is Magic

_Poleng watched Goyong, jaw hanging open, as he finished his song. She couldn't help but tear up thanks to the whirlwind of emotions running through her head. The last notes of the guitar still hung in the air when Goyong stopped singing, eyes locked onto her._

_"Pasensya na kung nabahala kita," he called out jovially, the twinkle of his eyes unmistakable even in the pale moonlight._

_A smile lit up her face as she beheld him, feeling that the worry she bore the entire day was worth it. "Hindi mo naman ako nabahala," she told him._

_His face briefly turned smug as he glanced at his companion. "Maaari ba tayong mag-usap?"_

_Her parents would have killed her, but it wasn't like they were around anyway. She didn't hesitate before a breathless, excited "oo" escaped her lips._

_Motioning for him to wait, she ghosted through her room and the rest of the house, a small, pleased smile on her face as she unlocked the kitchen door and swept into the small pathway that led to the backyard garden and Goyong. The fresh night air caressed her face and ruffled her long, dark hair, giving her a small taste of the freedom she had come to treasure. She paused, taking time to steel herself, before heading for Goyong._

_He held out a hand to her, which she immediately took. He motioned to his brother with a hint of amusement in his face. "Poleng, ito si Kuya Julian."_

_Julian inclined his head politely. Up close, his resemblance to his brother was even more glaring. "Nagagalak akong makilala ka."_

_"Nagagalak din akong makilala ka," squeaked Poleng._

_"Marami pa kayong paguusapan nitong kapatid ko. Maghihintay nalang ako sa, uh, sa may bakod," he finished quickly, flitting away before anyone could say something else._

_Goyong's hand tightened around hers pleasantly, drawing her attention back to him. "Gusto ko sanang... magtapat ng nararamdaman ko."_

_Poleng's breath hitched, a blush creeping up her cheeks. "Nararamdaman mo?"_

_He ducked his head, his smile falling a little. "Umiibig na ako sa iyo, at baka hindi ito magustuhan ng iyong mga magulang."_

_"Iniibig na rin kita," she admitted a little breathlessly, not a care for propriety. "At sa tingin ko'y wala namang masama doon._

**Monday, 05-30-16, 5:00 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

The late summer sun beat down upon their heads as they lined up on the sidewalk beside the church wrought iron gates, faint strains of music playing in the courtyard beyond, coming from the marching band that was warming up. Despite the constant, searing pain in her chest, Jay felt so alive, dressed in her medieval costume as Reyna Elena's escort, her crimson hair mostly covered by a feathered cap of nearly the same color. She couldn't suppress the goofy smile that lit up her face as she watched the procession slowly assemble.

"Late na ba kami?" a familiar voice from the crowd yelled. Antonio and Isabel Luna made their way to the front with their children, JR and EJ.

"Mag-uumpisa pa lang po, actually!" Cat said, detaching herself from her place in the escorts' line to greet them.

"Good, good!" Tonyo waved his camera around good naturedly, though his eyes gleamed with mischief. "Kukuhanan kasi namin kayo ng video."

Perched astride his white stallion, Goyong - the Reyna Elena of the day - turned red. "Senyor, wag namang ganyan!"

Isabel smiled at him and patted his red dress. "Wag kang mag-alala, _hijo,_ magandang maganda ka ngayon."

Jay nodded sagely, mirroring their mischief. "Ganyan po talaga yang boyfriend ko, mas maganda pa sa akin." Well, it was true - to her, at least.

Goyong leaned forward a little, careful not to dislocate his wig of curly black hair and the tiara perched atop it. "Shhh, wag ka ganyan, ikaw talaga! Alam naman natin kung sino ang tunay na, uh, diyosa dito - _diyosa ng mga lecheng dragon_."

" _Ulikbang patatas_ ka talaga!" she growled, slapping his thigh lightly. She leaned forward with a conspiring look in her face, eyes flicking to purple-clad Julian in his silvery steed, and blue-clad Julio in a black one. "Kahit na parang um, palette swap lang ang mga dress niyo, ikaw parin ang pinakamaganda sa mga mata ko."

"Bolero," Jay said with a grin as some of the coordinators called their attention.

The marching band took its position at the head and tail of the group. The show was about to start.

**Friday, 06-03-16, 7:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

The breakfast table was crowded and rowdy as always as most of the team would soon be leaving for their last day of work before the weekend started. Not Jay though - it was going to be a more _exciting_ day for her. Selong had contacted them the day earlier, promising to take her, Aurora, Marge and Tina to meet someone who would teach them the ways of a babaylan of old. Eagerness and agitation battled in her gut, her insecurities rearing their ugly head against the scrap of confidence that she was building up.

Aurora leaned from her plates stacked high with waffles. "Si Nanay talaga oh, ang lalim ng iniisip! Ngiti naman diyan! Magiging, uh, _Power Rangers_ na ata tayo!"

"Sana nga!" Marge flashed a catlike grin from her spot between Julio and Tina, her usually messy blue hair tied up in a braid similar to her companions for the day. "Excited na ako!"

Jay felt herself smile at that. "Power Rangers na nga ba? Baka naman magaya tayo kina Sailor Moon!"

Tina laughed. "Edi mas maganda! Sexy at badass naman tayo!"

The four of them were assembled in the living room by the time Selong arrived, dressed in his favorite Hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts, vintage sunglasses perched precariously upon the bridge of his nose. "Good morning, lovely ladies!"

Jay had to admit, his sunny enthusiasm was very infectious. She felt herself smiling as she turned to Goyong, apprehension gone for the moment. "So uh, mukhang aalis na kami maya maya. Promise, hindi ko susunugin ang Tarlac."

Goyong snorted. "Hindi susunugin ang Tarlac? Sigurado ka?"

She winked at him. "Certainly." She gave him a quick peck on the lips before turning to Selong. "So, saan po tayo pupunta ngayo"

"Sa Tarlac." Selong's eyes glittered knowingly as he regarded her.  _Nakita mo na ba ang libingan ni Poleng gamit yang powers mo, Tiyo? Naghihintay ka na lang ba ng tamang panahon? Dios mio patatas, hindi po AlDub to!_

Traffic was light by the time they hit the road, which was a godsend for Jay. She hated the city's traffic jams which had steadily worsened throughout the years, and she actually enjoyed the breakneck speed that Selong preffered. With Aurora having taken the shotgun seat, that left Jay sitting between Tina and Marge.

"Kahit na malinis ang daan, may katagalan parin ang trip natin," announced Selong. "Magpahinga muna kayo kung gusto niyo,lalo na't maaga kayong bumangon ngayon."

"Thank you po, tito!" Jay grinned and stretched her back languidly.

She barely got any sleep the previous night as she mostly tossed and turned on her bed in excitement and anxiety and everything in between. She supposed she could now get some shut eye, as the actual trip was actually putting her at ease, somehow.

 _Tarlac._ She remembered the word hastily scribbled on Goyong's old letter to Poleng. She was sure it was the key to the long dead woman's grave. Somehow though, she also had a feeling that it wasn't time to visit it yet. She knew that big things would lead her to the grave someday.

_Not today._

**Friday, 06-03-16, 8:00 AM, Tarlac, Tarlac**

They reached the sunny yet somewhat dull city of Tarlac. Jay admitted that it had its charm, but commercial areas were so far away from everything else, unlike back home. She peered at the arch beside the street, which leaaned against a tall, fairly new mall.

"Blossomville subdivision? Nakatira sa _subdivision_ yung magiging teacher namin?" Aurora was blurting out from her spot, mouth full of cookies.

"Dude, it's the twentieth century nga naman. Malamang na modern babaylan na itong pupuntahan natin," said Tina, trying to sound reasonable about it.

"Modern babaylan indeed," agreed Selong, the jovial smile never leaving his face. He rounded a corner and began to drive through a particularly long street. "Medyo baguhan siya, pero she knows her craft."

Marge all but bristled in glee. "Nako naman, Tito, lalo naman kaming naexcite! Lagaya ba siya ng mga stereotypical babaylan? I mean, matanda at sobrang mystical ang vibes?"

Jay shook her head with a grin, dispellong her anxiety yet again. "Baka bata, maganda at sexy yan! Yung tipong pang FHM model ang peg."

Tina giggled at that as she peered at the houses they passed by. "Ang sabi ni Ate Cat, traditionally matatanda ang mga babaylan. Pero eto nga naman, twentieth century na, ano?"

"Tama!" Selong parked at the very end of the street, which was surrounded by a slightly foresty swathe of land on three sides. Killing the engine, he let out a small yawn before stepping out of the car.

The ladies exchanged looks and followed suit. Jay did a few stretches to ease her muscles which felt sore after an hour and a half of travel. They headed for the house right beside the woodsy area - a modest white building that seemed to be quite unexpectedly dated, a little separated from the other houses by a number of currently vacant lots. Beyond the bright yellow gates and green wrought iron fence, Jay could see a wooden bench swing and a bunch of trees sprawled across a small expanse of grass that also had clusters of rose bushes in bright yellow and pale green shades.

It was cluttered and cosy and made her ache for something that she couldn't put proper words to for a while. It made her think of the house back in Angeles, of her brother and Rusca and Goyong and the rest of the team, of the stargazer ring perched upon her left ring finger, crystalline shimmers of every color catching the midmorning sunlight. It made her think of the bright things that the future could hold, despite the haze of darkness thaat currently hovered over her and everyone else in the team.

It made her think of her current home, and the home she wanted to build someday. The ring weighed heavily upon her hand at the thought of her quietly ticking curse, noting that she barely had a month left.  _Hindi. Hindi pa ako mamamatay. Ikakasal pa kami ni Goyong sa December. May showdown pa kaming nakaabang ni Dolores._

"Sobrang dream house," Marge murmured in awe.

"Sobrang dream house indeed," agreed Jay.

Selong rang the buzzer on the side of the gate, its trilling sound echoing in the quiet neighborhood. A few seconds passed in silence that steadily grew to an uncomfortable level.

"Um, sigurado po ba kayong may tao?" whispered Jay, trying to break the tension. "Parang masyadong tahimik."

"Siguradong sigurado, hija!" Selong said in his booming voice.

As if on cue, someone stepped out of the door, which was obscured by the gate. There was a glint of surprisingly familiar golden hair for a few seconds before a portion of the gate creaked open to reveal an anxious  _Celeste Bernal._

"Hi, Mr. del Pilar," she said brightly, a mischievous grin taking over her glowing face.

Selong smiled and motioned to the women who accompanied him. "Naaalala mo pa ba yung napag-usapan natin nang ipinakilala kita kay Mayang?" he asked.

Celeste nodded, her eyes roving to the others, a flash of recognition in her eyes. "Mukhang marami ata tayong dapat pag-usapan sa loob."


	11. The World is our Playground and We Will Always be Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ladies learn an important history lesson

_Blissful days followed their confession. Days and weeks blurred into a happy whole, and Poleng did not mind it one bit. Despite her parents' civility toward Goyong, she knew that they only wanted him to be a companion, not a suitor. They decided to keep their relationship a secret, despite Totillo's complaints that they will eventually get caught._

_"Paano kung pagbubulungan kayo ng mga tao sa bayan?" he argued during one afternoon as she watched him tend to the garden. "Tiyak na nakikita nilang iba na ang pagtingin at pagtrato niyo sa isa't isa. Magsasalita ang mga iyan!"_

_Tilting her chin stubbornly in a pale imitation of her mother's defiance to everything and anything about her daughter, Poleng regarded her oldest friend with a steely eye. "Sa tingin ko'y wala ka sa lugar upang magsalita ng ganyan - lalo na pa't alam naman nating lahat na kahit saan ata at tila kahit kanino ay nakikipagtalik ka, basta pumayag sila. Alam kong hindi ko dapat itinatago ito sa mga magulang ko ngunit... parang mas mainam na rin ito. Kilala mo rin sila." They only ever cared about money and more lands. Being away most of the time to tend to family farms and businesses was enough proof of that._

_A spark of hurt filled Totillo's eyes at her words - and something else that she didn't realize was a mix of guilt and envy. "Tama ka," he said quietly. "At hindi ko lugar upang magsalita laban sa pag-ibig niyo ni Goyong. Lalo na pa't..." He trailed off with a shake of his head._

**Friday, 06-03-16, 8:30 AM, Tarlac, Tarlac**

The faint smell of the roses from the garden wafted through an open window as they settled in a small, cozy living room. Celeste had a small grin on her face as she regarded them, eyes twinkling. "Pasensya na at medyo uhhh, makalat," she said with a small laugh. "Si Nanay kasi at si Kuya Adong sa sementeryo at nasa Nueva Ecija parin ang boyfriend ko. Hindi na ako gaanong makagalaw galaw para maglinis, medyo mabigat na itong si baby."

"Ikaw talaga, hija, kahit di ka na mag-abala," Selong replied with his usual booming voice. "Kami na nga itong nang-aabala ng walang pasabi."

Jay nodded sagely. "Hindi namin alam na ikaw pala itong pupuntahan namin dito sa Tarlac."

Celeste winked at her. "At di ko rin alam na kayo pala yung sinasabing, uh, _students_ ni Mr. del Pilar. Teka babalik ako, ikukuha ko lang kayo ng inumin."

"Samahan na kita at baka mapano pa yang anak mo," Selong said brightly, scampering after her as she marched toward the kitchen.

Jay exchanged pleased looks with her companions. "Akala ko pa naman medyo terror ang magtuturo sa atin."

"Medyo kinabahan din ako ng konti doon," breathed Marge. A small, elated laugh escaped her years.

Aurora leaned back on the antique wooden couch, the colorful velvet cushions letting a small puff of air as she dropped her wait on them. "At least kilala naman natin si manang, kahit papano. Sigurado akong hindi naman magiging terror teacher yan. Jusko, pareho nga sila ng vibes ni Nanay eh!"

"True, true," chuckled Marge. She glanced at Tina with mischief in her eyes. "Lugi nga tayo kay Tina eh, medyo may background na sa magic."

Tina flashed a feral smile at her. "Sobrang minor lang ang alam ko - para lang talaga dun sa mga kutsilyong panlaban sa mga pukinginang anino. Iba parin yung formal training and I bet my favorite boots na hindi ganoon ka-easy yung gagawin natin sa training."

Celeste returned, balancing a tray filled with glasses of orange juice, looking a little apprehensive. "Alam kong medyo weird na ako yung magtuturo sa inyo," she said slowly. "I mean, usually matatanda ang mga babaylan dahil  _decades_ ang training nila."

Jay shook her head, brow raised. "Walang age discrimination dito, shhh."

Tina nodded avidly. "Lalo na nga kaming tinatamaan ng hype! Ito talaga."

Celeste sat at the edge of a wooden rocking chair, fumbling with a lock of golden hair.  She flashed them a nervous smile. "I'm so sorry, kakaiba na naman kasi ito. Uh, imagine - decades of knowledge, at kinailangan kong aralin sa loob ng isang buwan. Ganoon kaweird."

"Weird indeed," Aurora announced. "So, ano na niyan?"

Selong was the one who answered. "Kakausapin muna natin ang guro ni Celeste bago magsimula ang pagsasanay niyo."

**Friday, 06-03-16, 9:00 AM, Tarlac, Tarlac**

A thrill of excitement filled the car when they returned to it with Celeste in tow. Selong was mentioning that they would be leaving the sleepy barangay of Sto. Cristo for some other place called San Miguel, which sent a brief, uncomfortable jolt in Jay's gut.  _Pakyu, Miguel Santos. Pakyu talaga._

"Wala pa namang malalang traffic ng ganitong oras, hindi ba?" Selong asked in a totally unexpected tone of apprehension.

"Wala naman po," Celeste chirped, leaning back a little to make herself feel more comfortable. Traveling while pregnant seemed so challenging and yet there was a sense of glowing contentment that emanated from her.

Once again, Jay found herself vaguely wondering what it was like to be a mother too.

They parked in a church courtyard, the summer sun thankfully concealed by a blanket of pearly clouds streaked with stormy gray. The pain in Jay's chest tightened at the thought of walking around under the glare of the sun.

They followed Selong past rows of houses that ended in a dirt road that stretched into a wide expanse of trees. "Medyo undeveloped pa yung lugar na yan, ano?" Tina noted.

A small grin quirked up Selong's lips. "Hindi nila mahawakan ang lupain na yan dahil nararamdaman parin nila ang kapangyarihan ni Mayang."

"Sino ba si Mayang na yan?" Jay asked, tilting her head in curiosity. Looking at the dirt road that passed in between trees, she felt goosebumps rise up her arms. It wasn't hard to believe that someone  _powerful_ lived beyond the path.

Celeste gently patted her baby bump before turning to her. "Makikita niyo din maya maya."

Jay was pretty sure that she wasn't the only one who felt  _something_ when they plunged into the shade of the leafy canopy following the dirt road that slowly dwindled into a scratchy path that was difficult to see at times. She glanced at the small shudders coming from the other ladies. Even Selong seemed to sense the faint traces of power hovering over and around them.

No one spoke as they followed Selong over the next few minutes, looking around the trees nervously. Despite the fact that their foe was tying so hard to get rid of them, Jay had a feeling that she would  _never_ be able to find them there. There was something far more powerful and far more ancient at work.

**Friday, 06-03-16, 9:15 AM, Tarlac, Tarlac**

They reached a small _bahay kubo_ at the end of the trail. A tingle was creeping up Jay's skin, making her ears ring. She exchanged glances with Aurora, who seemed to be sensing the same thing she did.

Selong opened the door without knocking, his face unusually grim. Jay shuddered involuntarily as they followed him into the hut. An old woman was sitting on an old rocking chair in a corner, watching as if she was expecting them. "Sa wakas," she said in a paper thin voice. A smile lit up her face - and for a few seconds, her appearance seemed to flicker between her old appearance, a middle aged woman, and a perfectly youthful one in her early twenties.

"Pasensya na, Mayang," Selong said quietly. "Medyo natagalan kami."

"Alam ko, anak. Alam ko." The woman called Mayang turned to Celeste, her dark eyes flicking to her baby bump. "Hindi nagbago ang aking nakita. Magiging malakas at malusog na babae ang isisilang mong bata."

Celeste bowed her head, a small smile on her face.  _"Osimap pu." Mabuti naman po._

Mayang turned to the other four. "Kayo ang tuturuan ni Celeste, tama ba ako?"

"Kami nga po," Jay said quietly.

Mayang's eyes never left her. "Nananalaytay sa iyo ang dugo nina Carlos Hernando at si Hiyas, isa sa mga huling dalagang tinuruan ko. Magiging sana siyang isang napakagaling na babaylan kung hindi lamang dahil sa mga mananakop."

"Mananakop...?" Jay's eyes widened, remembering the ancient book from Carlos Hernando. It was true, then - that he was her ancestor.

Mayang nodded. "Ikaw lamang ang may tanging kakayahan upang matalo si Kandaya. Magiging sana siyang isang napakagaling na babaylan kung hindi lamang naligaw ang kanyang landas at ibinenta ang kanyang sarili sa mga maling anito upang maging isang mangkukulam at hindi na tumanda kailanman. Kilala niyo na siya ngayon bilang si Dolores."

Jay felt her goosebumps rise. "Ako? Baka nagkakamali po kayo."

"Naligaw ang landas ni Kandaya dahil sa galit - galit dahil mas maganda at mas makapangyarihan si Hiyas sa kanya. Ito ang dahilan kaya nag-aral siya bilang mangkukulam gamit ang mga ipinagbabawal na mga kapangyarihan." Mayang looked tired - so tired. "Nakita ng aking mga mata na isang batang babaylan mula sa dugo nina Carlos at Hiyas ang magpapaibig at iibig sa lalaking kanyang nanaisin - at susugpo sakanya. Isang batang babaylan na mas maganda at mas makapangyarihan sakanya." Her eyes moved to Marge before returning to Jay. "Nakasisigurado akong ikaw iyon."

Jay bit back her complaints about her condition, her curse, her lack of beauty to fulfill parts of Mayang's vision. She was pretty sure that she couldn't argue with the old woman.

"Sa sinaunang Kaharian ng Pampanga, ako lamang ang natatanging babaeng naging babaylan sa murang edad - gaya niyo. Mga makapangyarihan lamang ang may kakayanan upang maatim ito." Mayang's eyes seemed lost in memory. "Nasumpa ako na manatiling sa mundo hangga't hindi nagumpisa ang pagsugpo kandaya Kandaya. Inialay ko ang aking pagkabata upang ibalik ang tatlo sa aking mga inapo na may kaunting kapangyarihan - si Marcelo, Andres, at Gregorio - dahil batid ko na kailangan sila sa laban. Binigyan ko sila ng mga pagsubok upang maging handa rito."

That explained their temporary immortality.

"Gumugulong na ang tadhana." Mayang's face lit up in an angelic smile. "Nagtagpo na ang lima sa mga pinakamakapangyarihang babaylan na tutulong sa pagsugpo kay Kandaya. Oras na, sa wakas, upang ako'y mamahinga."

"Pero... mas makakatulong po ata kung kayo ang magtuturo sakanila," Celeste said quietly.

"Hindi maaari. Oras ko na." Before their very eyes, Mayang began to fade, her visage flickering. "Julietta, Martina, Margarita, Aurora, at ikaw din, Celeste - magsisilbi kayong liwanag sa gitna ng kadiliman na dadalhin pansamantala ni Kandaya. Tanggapin niyo ang aking huling basbas."

As she winked away into nothingness, Jay felt her eyes tear up for a woman she had known for a little more than a few minutes. A fiery warmth - comforting, powerful, bright, and passionate - burned in her chest. As it faded, the original burning pain returned. Yet she felt stronger, more hopeful, as if a miniature sun was inside her to keep her going. She couldn't disappoint Mayang. She had to do her best to beat Dolores.

**Friday, 06-03-16, 12:00 PM, Tarlac, Tarlac**

They spent the rest of the day sight seeing and eating lunch in the busy center of the city. Selong refused to talk about Mayang and his acquaintance with her, noting that he promised to keep a lot of secrets. He  _did_ mention that she was the one who guided him and Andres and sought out the Enriquez brothers to point them to the right direction - to Goyong.

Everything felt so difficult to think about.

They dropped Celeste right outside her house. "I'll be in contact sa Skype," she said, typing in her details on Jay's phone before handing it over. "Magfocus muna kayo sa class reunion bukas, tapos tatawag ako ng mga Sunday after lunch. Hindi feasible na pumunta kayo dito araw araw - o na pumunta ako doon eh."

Jay nodded. "Wala ba kaming homework?"

"Meron." Celeste grinned. "Para sa Sunday, magpractice lang kayo ng unting self defense. Tapos since nakatira kayo sa Pampanga - at dating Pampanga din ang parts ng Tarlac - magresearch kayo tungkol sa mga Kapampangan deities next week."

"We got you covered sa self defense. Thank goodness at may Center for Kapampangan Studies," Aurora said shakily. "Ngayon eh kailangan nalang nating hanapan ng paraan para makakuha ng permit na pumasok ang tatlong manang na ito."

Jay's thoughts flashed to Miguel, as disgusted as she felt about it. "No worries. Ako ang bahala sa  _asshole ex boyfriend_ ko." A fierce smile lit up her face.  _It's payback time._


	12. Feeling Sorry

_Poleng was glad that her parents still have not noticed anything between her and Goyong. On top of that, none of them had mentioned anything about potential suitors for her, not even after her eighteenth birthday had passed._

_"Kung makahanap man sila ng ipakakasal sa iyo, anong gagawin mo?" Goyong said one afternoon as they lazily sprawled upon a forest clearing, surrounded by bushes of white roses that Totillo had planted a few months ago, once they have established the clearing as their place of privacy. Under the eternal green twilight of the thick, leafy canopy,_

_She stared at him and his awkward smile and the bright gleam in his eyes. She hadn't really thought that far yet, but she knew she would eventually have to face the music. "Sasabihin ko sakanila ang totoo tungkol sa ating dalawa - at kung tututol sila... bakit hindi tayo magtanan?"_

_He stared at her, surprised and obviously pleased by her brazen statement. "Iiwan mo ang lahat para sa akin?" he asked quietly, slowly reaching out to take her hand. "Wala akong maibibigay sa iyo, Poleng. Alam mo ang estado ng aking pamilya."_

_She chuckled softly. "Wala akong hihingin mula sa iyo - wala akong hiningi magmula sa umpisa, hindi ba? Sapat na sa akin na magkasama tayong dalawa."_

_A blush crept up his cheeks, but the smile on his face was unmistakable. "Maraming salamat, Poleng."_

_"Ito lamang ang magagawa ko para sa ating dalawa." She looked away, up at the vast expanse of leaves that concealed the afternoon sky from them. He merely represented freedom to her at first and yet, everything had grown into something much more. She was going to fight tooth and nail before she let it go._

**Saturday, 06-04-16, 3:00 PM, Brgy. Pulung bulo**

She had two hours left before the reunion.

Jay stared at her reflection in her mirror, clad in the little black dress she wore a couple of weeks ago, feeling totally _ridiculous._ People like her weren't supposed to be dressed so prettily. She was a tomboy, made for punching people in the face and causing trouble, not being dolled up for cocktail parties. Besides, she didn't exactly have the body for it.

Deeming herself to be as acceptable as can be, she picked up the sparkling ruby heels she bought to come along with it, swiped the makeup that she was supposed to be using and marched out of her room in her ratty flipflops. Addie had volunteered to do their makeup, which was a good thing, she supposed. She had always gotten by with some powder, her thick eyeliner, and her trusty red lipstick. Remembering her prom days, she remembered just how _uncomfortable_ she was with more gunk on her face.

The dining room was crowded as it always was during weekends. The del Pilars were bickering over how to properly put on neckties, while Rusca and Joven were trying to fix each other's hair. It was a normal day for Team Hijo de Puta, despite the fact that Jay felt like she was going to some kind of dire place. _Cocktail party slash class reunion lang ito. No need to worry. Mga adults na din yung bullies mo. Hindi ka na nila tatawanan._

In the living room, Nena was perched on the bay window with Tina and Marge, waiting for their turn to have makeup applied. Addie was working on Angela, slapping on pretty, pale pink lipstick on her.

"Kinakabahan ka ba?" Tina asked with her usual, quizzical smile.

"Medyo." Jay motioned to the little black dresses they were wearing. "Hindi ako sanay na magpakagirly girl eh."

"Well, good experience na ito," chirped Nena. She snuck a glance at Rusca before turning back to them with a chuckle.

Jay sighed as Addie finished applying the rest of Angela's makeup and Tina scooted over to take the latter's place, clutching her burgundy lipstick. Her fingers fumbled with the hem of her dress, wondering what she would end up looking like. She felt her palms sweat slightly as she remembered that she was going to the event  _unarmed._ "Hindi naman siguro mambubulabog si Dolores, ano?"

Marge's lip twitched. "Hindi naman sana. Pero alam mo naman bhe, nandyan yung mga gagong boyfriend natin at armado  _sila_."

Nena nodded sagely as she began to fix Angela's hair, weaving her bubblegum pink hair into a braided updo. "Ayokong isipin pero kung mangyari man yun, siguro naman reliable sila. Pero shhh clear your mind."

Tina bounded over to join them as Nena was halfway done with Angela's hair. Marge hopped over to take her place, mauve lipstick on hand. Keeping her thoughts away from the coming party, she watched Nena finish Angela's hair and start on Tina's crown braid and curls. She almost jumped when Marge leapt from her seat, a goofy smile on her face, and dashed right in front of Nena.

"Ikaw na, ikaw na," she said in a singsong voice.

Nena patted Tina's hair in place and winked at Jay. Picking up her caramel brown lipstick, she bounded gracefully toward Addie with an off kilter smile. Jay clenched her fists once, twice, thrice. She filtered out her friends' conversations until at last, Addie called her over. Clutching her red lipstick, she hesitantly approached the younger woman.

Addie clucked her tongue as she began to work her magic. "Don't scowl, sayang ang beauty. I'm supposed to turn you into a dragon lady tonight."

"Challenge accepted." Jay forced out a smile, fighting down the urge to resist when Addie started working on her face.  _Trust the makeup expert._

**Saturday, 06-04-16, 5:00 PM, Hotel Stotsenberg**

Jay walked hand in hand with Goyong as they stepped into the function hall after the registration. "Last time na nandito tayo, tinakasan mo ako para habulin yung anino ni Kuya Andoy. Wala na sigurong part two yun, ano?"

Goyong paled at her words and looked down, guilt etched on his features. His hand tightened around hers. "Hindi na mauulit. Pangako."

"Dapat lang." She flashed a red lipped smile at him before surveying the area.  _Battlefield._ She didn't recognize most of the people, though she spotted a few batchmates staring at her. She fought back a cringe and beamed at them, trying to channel her usual, ferocious self.

A chill ran down her spine when she realized that they were staring at her. The mocking that she expected in their gazes was gone, replaced by something that it took a while for her to point out. She shuddered when she realized that they were staring at her with awe and admiration - and a bit of desire for some of them.

She quickly looked away, feeling her back straighten as she followed her friends to their table of choice. Doing a quick count, she felt a relief when she realized that it had exactly ten seats - just enough for all of them.

"Well, it doesn't seem so bad," Marge said. "At least may food trip ngayon."

Julio nudged her playfully. "If I know ibang food ang gusto mo."

Joven cleared his throat while Angela clicked her pink heels beside him. "Gagi, wag dito."

Rusca nodded sagely. "Oo, mamaya na yan sa...  _ahem,_ sa kama."

The loud clack of heels on the marble floor made Jay jump. She whipped around to see one of her former classmates, Tricia, standing over hair with a smirk on his face. She still looked like the bully that she was back then. It seemed like while most people matured and learned, some things could never be changed.

Jay beamed at her, trying to look both pleasant and intimdating at the same time. "Hi, long time no see. Anong meron?"

"Quit it with the pleasantries," snarled Trisha. "Sa ikinapangit mong yan, lakas pa ng loob mo na magpakulay ng buhok at magpalagay ng breast implants. Hindi parin enough ang mga yan at ang eye candy boyfriend mo - boyfriend mo ba  _talaga_ yan? - para makakuha ng attention. I've always been the _best_ at that and you will never take it away from me."

Jay held out a hand to stop the others from doing or saying anything. She rose to her feet, highly aware that even without her heels, she would have towered over her bully. "I have a few things to say to you," she said, trying so hard to stay pleasant like Celeste did, even when she was mad. "Una, hair color aside, everything about me is natural - subjective beauty included. Pangalawa, hindi mo naman ata business kung boyfriend ko nga ang date ko tonight o hindi. Kung ikatatahimik mo, oo, boyfriend ko nga siya."

No one in the table spoke. People nearby were probably staring at them too.

Emboldened by the way that people had eyed her, she hurtled on. "Pangatlo, hindi ako pumunta dito para sa attention. Pumunta ako dito para mag-enjoy. This is a class reunion, not a popularity contests. So  _fuck off_ and let me enjoy my night."

"Gumanda lang ng konti ang mukha at katawan mo, naging insolent ka na? Know your place, Hernando bitch." Trisha growled before she stalked away.

"Alam ko ang lugar ko! Practice what you preach!" Jay hollered at her before turning back to her friends.

"Dios mio patatas," Goyong said with a shaky huff of breath. "Slayer ka talaga."

**Saturday, 06-04-16, 8:00 PM, Hotel Stotsenberg**

The rest of the night passed in a blur, meeting old classmates and friends and introducing them to Goyong. She kept her eyes out for Miguel, wondering where he was. The idea of asking him for another visitor's pass to the Center for Kapampangan Studies. It was a great way for her to get something she wanted - and also get paid back for everything he did to her when she was sixteen. She felt beautiful and powerful that night, and it would have been such a shame to let it go to waste.

"Sigurado ka ba diyan sa plano mo?" Goyong asked, a roguish smirk on his face, as they parted ways with a couple of former bullies who seemed quite intent on making friends with them. "Devious ka rin pala ah."

"Of course, my dear," she said with a smile.

They heard a loud commotion in the foyer, and Jay was sure she recognized the voices. Exchanging glances with Goyong, they headed for the source and found Miguel sprawled on the floor with a cheeky grin, pinned down by three sets of glittering heels - Nena's brown ones, a violet pair from Tina, and a set of electric blue ones that could only belong to Angela.

"Just because you're a man at wala ang asawa mo eh pwede mo na kaming landiin," Nena noted angelically.

Tina leaned forward, eyes smoldering with anger. "Hindi rin reason ang pagkakaroon namin ng boobs para hawakan mo sila."

"Matanda ka na. You should know what's appropriate and not," agreed Marge.

"Guys..." Jay gave Goyong's hand a squeeze before letting go and striding forward. "Pwede niyo na siyang pakawalan. I need to talk with my _dear_ ex boyfriend."

The trio stared at her before backing away. Jay gave Miguel an imperious nod before motioning for him to follow her. Sure that she was catching stares, she led him not far from Goyong and the others.

"Hinaharrass mo ba ang mga kaibigan ko?" she asked, miffed.

Miguel flashed her that smile that used to make her stomach flip. It just left her with a disgusted feeling now, made her wonder just  _why_ she was so infatuated with an asshole like him.

"Alam mo naman, babe. I'm a man. Hindi ko mapigilan eh." Even his silken voice made her feel nauseated as her stomach flipped unpleasantly. "Besides, aren't you still attracted to me? Kaya nga tinulungan mo ako, hindi ba?'

She put a hand on her hips with a sigh. "Dude, hindi ka ba nasusuka sa sinasabi mo? I helped you kasi kailangan ko ng  _tulong_ mo."

"Tulong?" he purred. "I've helped you once. I don't help again for free."

Jay bit back her disgust. "I'm willing to negotiate."

His eyebrows raised at that. "We could talk bukas. Over coffee. This is a _class reunion._ Hindi ko naman magagawa yung necessary paperwork dito - yung tayong dalawa lang." He didn't seem to notice just how close she was to throwing up on his face.

Coffee sounded as good as any other idea to get the ball rolling. "Deal."  _Bingo._


	13. Here We Go Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay gets revenge

_She lost her maidenhood on a cold, windy night._

_Every little thing about it would forever be etched to her memory. The sigh of the breeze that blew outside her locked window, the flicker of the lamps, the creek of the wooden floorboards as they padded through her room cannot be forgotten. Her parents were somewhere in Tarlac, and the servants know better than to tell them whatever it was that their daughter had decided to do while they were away. They have never been exactly kind to those who served them, unlike Poleng who had always been unfailingly kind and polite to everyone in the household._

_"May binabalak ka," Goyong whispered in amusement as she locked the door behind her and gave him her best, smoldering stare._

_She leaned forward, letting her warm, moist breath tickle his ears. "Meron nga," she purred with a grin._

_A hint of worry darkened his gaze as he took her hands. "Sigurado ka ba dito? Na isusuko mo na sa akin?"_

_She tilted her chin up stubbornly. "Kailan ba ako hindi naging sigurado sa aking mga ginagawa, Gregorio?" She leaned forward and gave him a deep kiss, pushing him onto her bed which rustled and huffed at the sudden weight. They were on fire, they were aflame, and they will shine brighter than the summer sun that night._

**Sunday, 06-05-16, 8:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung bulo**

Jay's side of the bedroom - which was usually just accomodated her and Goyong most of the time - felt comfortably crowded that day. Jay's laptop was propped on her old, black study table, its soft fan letting out a small, whirring sound as it came to life. The Skype chat was already set up and now all they needed was to wait for Celeste to log in. The four of them who would be starting their training were sitting on the fluffy crimson carpet, fidgetting and murmuring among themselves.

"Medyo kinakabahan ako," admitted Aurora, letting out a small, shaky chuckle.

"Well, ako din," agreed Jay, rubbing her chest a little uncomfortably. "Alam niyo naman, hindi ako pwede sa sobra sobrang physical strain."

They all waited with bated breath when Celeste finally initiated the video chat. Their golden haired teacher looked a little exhausted, but she greeted them with a smile. "Hi, kamusta naman kayo?" she said breathlessly.

Jay couldn't help but reflect that infectious smile. "Well, _ayos na ayos_ lang naman ata kami. Ikaw?"

Celeste chuckled and shifted a little on her seat. "Eto, medyo ginabi kahapon. Dumating kasi dito yung boyfriend ko..." She trailed off, blushing. "Anyway, um, ready na ba kayo para sa training niyo?"

Marge nodded enthusiastically. "Hindi nga ako makatulog kagabi eh! Excited na ako."

"Totoo yan," agreed Tina. "Medyo mahirap paring paniwalaan itong mga gagawin natin pero exciting nga naman kasi. I mean, magiging _modern day babaylans_ na din kami!"

Celeste leaned forward, her eyes darkening. "Hindi _madali_ ang pagiging babaylan. Magiging guide niyo lang ako, but the rest will be something that you will have to do yourself - lalo na't kailangan niyong matapos as soon as possible. We're going to cram decades of training in around a month. Yun ang instructions sa akin ni Mayang noon."

Aurora leaned forward with glittering eyes, rubbing her hands together. "So, anong first lesson natin ngayon, _sensei?_ Magpapasabog ba tayo ng mga bagay? Dancing and singing?"

"Ah, dancing and singing. Mga magic chants. Ito palagi yung naiisip niyo kapag sinabing _babaylan,_ hindi ba?" Celeste leaned forward, her hair rippling like sunlight. She eyed them solemnly, as if she was about to impart a secret. "They're unnecessary. Kaya nating, um, i-channel yung powers natin kahit walang ganoon kasi ang sabi sa akin, more on the side ng tradition yung pagkanta at pagsayaw habang paggamit ng powers nila noon. Besides, um, hindi lang sana ako yung awkward dito kung pakakantahin at pasasayawin..."

Jay looked down, wondering if her battered body was up for the challenge. It had to be. _She_ had to be. She couldn't let down Mayang. The hope in the woman's eyes was too real. "Ano pa man yan, game na game naman ako," she said. "Bring it on, baby."

"That's the spirit, 'Nay!" Aurora said cheerily. "Kayang kaya natin 'to! Mga badass naman tayo eh - mas badass pa sa mga boyfriends at kay Dolores.

 ****Well, it was easier said than done. Celeste had tasked them with tapping into that warm, powerful feeling they had when they were in the vicinity of the White Rock and that day they met Mayang. Jay could still vaguely remember what it was like, but tapping into it was another thing. Then again, it wasn't supposed to be easy, after all. At least it wasn't physically taxing _yet._ They spent most of the day sprawled on the floor, deep in their own forms of meditation, while their mentor checked in on them every now and then.

"It's okay kung hindi niyo maramdaman agad yung spark niyo," Celeste had assured them kindly after their lunch break.

She was right. It took Jay the entire day to actually feel the spark - the rush of warmth she had felt in the center of her chest, a great, powerful feeling that put her at ease and elated her at the same time as it overpowered the constant pain brought about by her curse. It was, indeed, magic of its own. It felt like holding a piece of the sun in her, and it felt as empowering as last night's events, but in a different way.

They called it a day not long after that, and Jay felt her stomach churn as her thoughts moved to the next activities in her schedule - coffee with Miguel. It wouldn't have been an exciting prospect under normal circumstances but she already had a plan of a plan formulated at the back of her mind, and that was enough to actually make her look forward to it.

I'm glad na kaya niyo nang tawagin yang spark na yan anytime na gusto niyo. It's going to be easier from now on, trust me. Keep practicing self defense sa free time niyo, ipractice niyo yung spark niyo din every now and then at feel free to try doing things habang gamit rin ito," Celeste said with a grin. "Um, may appointment kami ng nanay ng boyfriend ko, kailangan ko nang umalis! Bukas ulit."

"Nakow, medyo _stresseme_ din pala tong training na ito," Aurora said, flopping on the floor with a sigh. "Pero alam niyo naman, stresseme in a good way. Uy, nagrhyme!"

"Ano, Manang Jay, ready ka na ba sa super secret mission of evil mo mamaya?" asked Marge, standing up to dust her shirt.

Jay grinned. "More than ready."

Tina leaned over, mirroring her grin. "Make sure to give your ex some hell, ha?"

Jay remembered last night, and the way Miguel was being more of an  _asshole_ than he usually was already.  _Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned_ was the saying, but Jay wanted to prove that wrong. There were ways to invoke far worse kinds of hell from a woman. "Don't you worry," she said with a chuckle. "I'll give him the hell he deserves."

**Sunday, 06-05-16, 5:00 PM, Starbucks Nepo Quad**

Jay leaned back as Joven parked not far away from the meeting place with Miguel, trying to steel herself. "Salamat sa paghatid, ha?" Her brother had shortcomings, but she appreciated his support whenever it was there.

"Wala yun." A small grin lit up Joven's usually grim face. "Actually, excited ako para sayo. Ginago ka nga naman ni Miguel noon, diba?"

"Ginago indeed." Jay patted her braid in face and turned to her brother, activating the voice recorder on her phone. "I'll text you pag ayos na. Punta ka na sa meeting place."

Without waiting for her brother's reply, she turned and hopped off the car, shutting the door behind her. She left the parking lot and made her way past the dining area, crossing the street and stopping right outside their meeting place. Flicking her eyes around, she spotted Miguel standing by the entrance, watching her with a lewd smile. It was a struggle not to squirm in discomfort, especially as she wore a tight fitting, sleeveless shirt with a low neckline under her jacket instead of her usual ones.

"Looking good," he purred nauseatingly.

She forced out a smile and began to twirl a loose lock of hair in what she hoped was an attractive manner. "Thanks."

"I'm sorry," he continued. "Naiwan ko sa bahay yung permit slip. Gusto mong balikan na muna natin? We can negotiate there na rin."

 _Naiwan, o iniwan?_ "Hindi ba magagalit yung asawa mo?" she asked ever-so-innocently."

"Umuwi sa Betis si Sarah, kasama niya yung anak namin." His disgusting smile never faded.

 _Bingo._ Well, at least she didn't have to try hard to get to the next phase of her plan. "Sounds good."

**Sunday, 06-05-16, 5:30 PM, Carmenville**

The motorcycle ride to Miguel's home was  _hellish,_ to say the least. She did her best to touch his waist while cringing internally as they sped past a couple of main roads and some side streets to stop right in front of his modest, classically white home.

"Does your boyfriend know na nandito ka?" he asked.

She shook her head and followed him through the door and into a cramped, messy living room. She fought back her nausea when she saw a packet of  _condom_ lying around on a couch. "Sana hindi ako nakakaabala."

"Hindi naman." His grin said it all. He handed her a stack of papers in a neat white folder and let her peruse them. "Permanent permits until the end of the school year sa March yan - para sayo at kung sino mang gusto mong isama. Pero like I said kagabi... hindi yan libre."

"Dude, businessmen kami ng kuya ko. I know  _all_ about negotiations." She let her jacket fall to the floor, eyes glittering in mischief.  _You have no idea how disgusted I am with you._ She could see him swallow hard.

He moved forward, tugging the hem of her shirt up to expose her chest, carefully avoiding her stitches and scars as he carressed the skin. "Hot ka parin," he said, edging forward. "I regret not fucking you."

 _Like I would have let you._ "I was sixteen. You just turned eighteen. Batang bata pa tayo noon. Bakit mo nga ba ako hiniwalayan?" She fought so hard against her disgusted shudders, trying to channel her spark. The warmth of the sun filled her quickly this time, and she wanted to try out something that Celeste had instructed them to - to use the spark while doing  _something._

"It wasn't like I loved you naman, diba," he said. "Giving you kissing lessons was fun and all pero hindi ka na wallflower kahit na sobrang _fuckable_ parin ng katawan mo. Besides, masisira reputation ko if I dated a girl like you - may kaso ang nanay at siguradong emotionally damaged ka. And gusto ko nga lang makipagbalikan noon kay Sarah kaya I dated you, diba. Saka alam mo naman, dagdag _points_ ang pagdate ng isang Hernando, lalo na't popular historical figure oh."

"So hindi mo ako hinintay makalabas ng ospital bago ka nakipagbreak," she said, trying to sound as calm as she could. She didn't love him, she now knew that she never did, but she was still so disgusted by how he treated her. "Nakipaghiwalay ka sa akin habang nakikipaglaban ako sa ICU?"

"Dramatic kasi eh." His smile widened as he leaned forward, their lips just inches from each other. "Pwede pa naman tayong maging fubu diba?"

As fast as lightning, Jay flipped him over, pinning him on the floor by his neck, her entire body filling with strength from her newfound powers. Whipping out the knives she hid under the waistband of her jeans, she pinned him with his clothes on the wooden floor. "User na walang kunsensya ka parin ano? I'm sorry.  _Batang bata pa tayo noon._ I'm older and wiser now. I got what I needed at may recording pa ako ng confession mo."

"Bitch ka parin, ano?" he said. "Tama nga ang sinasabi ko sa mga kaibigan natin."

"I'm not a bitch." She flashed him a vicious smile as the spark rushed out of her body, leaving her feeling empty yet _elated_. She picked up her jacket, pulled it back on, and hefted the folder before heading for the door. "I'm a dragon. Have a good day."


	14. Franklin

_It was raining when she woke up._

_Her entire body ached, naked underneath the blanket, sore from last night's tryst. She pushed all thoughts away, letting the quiet glow of happiness in her take preceedence. The town doctor once told her parents that she was too weak and sickly for such activities but there she was, feeling on top of the world._

_Goyong stirred beside her with a groan, his eyes fluttering open. "Magandang umaga," he said in a singsong voice. "Hindi ka naman siguro galit sa akin ano?"_

_"At bakit naman ako magagalit?" she asked with a catlike smile._

_Mirroring her smile, he shifted and pulled her closer. "Akala ko'y pinagsisisihan mo na ang kagabi."_

_She smiled languidly and nuzzled him. "Magsisisi? Ako? Hinding hindi. Ikaw ba, nagsisisi ka?"_

_His eyes said it all. "Hindi ko pagsisisihan ito," he said quietly._

**Monday, 06-06-16, 7:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

"Grabe ka, Jay. Buti nalang napapakinabangan mo yung _kagaguhan skills_ mo no?" Rusca said in between shoveling breakfast into his mouth.

"If you've got it, you flaunt it," Jay said with a smirk.

She refused to talk about the previous day's events over dinner, opting to narrate it over breakfast as her fellow trainees were also there. It was better to kill two birds in one stone, after all and besides, it was the best way to _start their day right._

"Kaya pala napaka sikreto niyang kwentong yan," Goyong said with a snort. "Mag-aalok sana ako na gulpihin ko siya pero mukhang sapat na yung ginawa mo ah. Sinagad sagad mo na din eh."

" _He deserved it_ at alam niyo yun. Let's be real, alam din niya." She drank the rest of her coffee and made her way to the kitchen.

Addie was standing in a corner, eyes trained on her with a hesitant look. "Ex boyfriend mo pala si Miguel," she said slowly.

"Kilala mo siya?" Jay shouldn't really have been surprised. It seemed like everyone knew everyone else in a way. _Ito ba yung six degrees of separation?_

Addie nodded, eyes flicking down. "Tinulungan niya ako sa thesis ko, at uh... ayaw niya akong tigilan. He wants to fuck me just because of my looks, or baka dahil Reyes ako at historical figures ang ancestors ko."

Jay leaned against the tiled kitchen counter, eyes trained on the younger woman. "Yan lang naman ang motives niya all the time," she said tiredly. Miguel kept calling _her_ fuckable. Insult though she was, the feeling she had last Saturday was enough to make her understand why he said it. "Wala nang pinagbago yun."

"I kept stalling him pero..." Addie paused, as if deep in thought. She motioned to Jay after a while with a small smile. "You're very brave. I don't think kaya kong gawin yang ginawa mo, pero I think I can confront him now. You made me feel empowered."

 _Empowered._ It was how she felt at that time too, and even back during the class reunion. Still, it was surprising to hear praise from someone like Addie, who seemed so distant and haughty. It almost felt like some kind of miracle to her, that this woman who seemed so sure of herself, who seemed to have everything others could only dream of, would have called her brave.

"Thanks," Jay said nevertheless, never forgetting her manners. She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and grinned. "Pero I didn't think na matapang habang nangyayari yun, sa totoo lang."

Other women would have balked at what she did and she knew it. In another time, she would have done the same and yet she set aside her fears and insecurities not just for revenge, but to teach Miguel a lesson. She still wondered if she did the right thing.

She definitely  _hoped_ so.

**Monday, 06-06-16, 8:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Goyong took her aside before heading off for work with Joven.

"Alam kong kayang kaya mo yung training niyo ngayon," he said cheerfully. "Pero kung may kailangan ka mang tulong mula sa akin, lumapit ka rin ha? Hindi ko alam kung anong maitutulong ko pero..."

She smiled and gave him a quick peck on his cheek. " _Ustu ne ini." Sapat na ito._ His trust in her abilities was more than enough.

He gave her hand a quick squeeze before excusing himself. "Baka paluin pa ako sa pwet ng kuya mo pag nagtagal pa ako."

"Dapat lang!" she called out with a small laugh.

She watched Joven and Rusca's car -the last batch leaving for work that day - disappear along the busy highway with a small grin. It was going to be a good day.

She was about to turn and go back inside the house when a tricycle parked right in front fo the gate. Curious, she waited for the passenger disembark and was not surprised at all when it turned out to be Celeste.

"Kailangan natin ng hands on na lesson ngayon," she said with a smile. "Magpapahatid sana ako sa  _patatas_ kong boyfriend pero kailangan siya ng tatay niya ngayon."

Jay laughed. "Patatas din pala yang boyfriend mo."

Inside, the other trainees were huddled around Nonong, who was sorting out his nursing equipment. The semester was going to start on the following Monday, after all.

"Mas mabigat pa siguro yung mga books mo kaysa sa mga ito ano?" Aurora said in a surprisingly civil manner.

Nonong looked at her, as if baffled, before smiling. "Medyo," he admitted. "Sanayan lang din."

Marge looked up and waved. "Uy, nandito pala si Manang Celeste!"

Celeste laughed. "Kailangan niyo ng hands on lessons ngayon."

"Hands on lessons?" Tina rubbed her hands together in glee. "Sounds exciting."

Nonong slithered away to a corner with his equipment. "Nandito lang ako kung kailangan niyo ng nurse."

Jay leaned against the bay window, arms crossed. "Medyo naintriga nga ako diyan, bro. Anong meron?"

Celeste shuffled toward an empty chair and sat with a soft groan. "Well, it's time para matutunan niyo paano magamit yung powers niyo para, um, maenhance yung sarili niyo. Ginawa niyo ba yung homework niyo at sinubukang tawagan ulit yung  _spark_ niyo?"

They all nodded.

"Mas madali na siya ngayon." Tina tapped her cheek thoughtfully."At um... mas malakas at mas mabilis ako nung time na yun."

Jay blinked, remembering the incident with Miguel. "Hindi lang mas malakas. Uh, may sinubukan akong gawin gamit yung mga kutsilyo ko. Ayun, bumaon sa kahoy."

Celeste nodded in approval. "Good. Very good. Mas madali yung gagawin natin ngayon... in a way."

"Alam mo, Ate, yung mga ganyan yung mga tipong mga  _activities_ na kinakatakutan ko eh," Aurora pointed out.

Marge leaned back with a smile. "Ikaw talaga, mukhang masaya to!"

**Monday, 06-06-16, 4:00 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Jay was sore. They spent the entire day testing their speed and strength while using their powers and also tried to employ their newfound ability during combat. It was a good way to also train Marge on it, hitting two birds in one stone.

"You did good." Celeste watched them all in approval from her spot at the edge of the training enclosure, a glass of water in hand. "Noon daw kasi, ilang taon daw kasing ipapractice yung pagaccess sa  _spark_ bago gamitin ito sa combat training. Pero kailangan nating magmadali at, um, medyo binigyan tayo ng  _boost_ ni Mayang."

Jay's chest ached but she didn't really mind it at all. She was pleasantly tired, after all. "Mas maganda na yun, kaysa naman naglulupasay tayo sa hirap at pagod ng training natin, diba?"

"Totoo yan! We should reward ourselves," Tina said with a smile. "Hindi pa nasusubukan ni Mareng Celeste yung mga drinks sa cafe niyo."

Jay nodded in excitement. "Sakto! Nagoovertime pa man din mga guys ngayon, last minute enrolment kasi at schedule swapping."

Marge nodded. "Pero teka, hindi ba bawal sa baby mo yan?"

"Hindi naman." Celeste patted her baby bump with a slight chuckle. "Madalang lang naman akong umiinom ng caffeinated drinks."

"Ayun naman pala!" said Aurora. "Tara, yayain natin si Keso."

"Wow, thoughtful ka na pala sa  _boyfriend_ mo ngayon," Jay teased as they marched into the dining room.

"Nay, hindi ko  _pa_ siya boyfriend!" Aurora howled, stomping on the wooden floor with a huff.

"That's the keyword. Hindi  _pa."_ Jay chuckled, remembering how she vehemently denied any blooming relationship with Goyong before.

It's been almost a year since they first met - since everyone's lives changed because of it. Things were quite challenging lately but she was sure that they were going to get better soon.

**Monday, 06-06-16, 4:30 PM, Tea-rad Pass**

As Nonong declined the offer for coffee, only the five of them headed for the cafe. It was pleasantly crowded that day, though the long table occupied by Nena, Addie, and a vaguely familiar girl still had a few vacant seats.

"Uy, tapos na training niyo?" Rusca asked as they reached the counter.

"Oo, kaya ililibre naman namin ng drinks itong teacher namin," Jay replied with a grin.

Rusca leaned over, smoothing his hair tiredly. "The usual ba ang order niyo o hindi?"

"The usual," she confirmed.

"Hoy, Goyong my bebelabs!" He hollered. "Isang milk chocolate frappe with peppermint at Oreo bits para kay Jay - double sugar yes? - white choco mocha with mallows at graham bits para kay Marge, cookies and cream frappe with choco chips para kay Tina at caramel frappe for Au with caramel drizzle din at minimum sugar."

"Gago, kumpletong kumpleto pa talaga," Goyong grumbled. "Kabisado ko na drinks nila, Ruscababes."

"Eh ikaw, Celeste?" Tina asked, tugging her forward.

Celeste paused thoughtfully. "Dark chocolate frappe nalang - um, double the sugar, peppermint at oreo bits."

"Narinig ko na, Ruscababes," Goyong said while Rusca collected their payment.

Nena smiled as they approached, sipping her rocky road frappe thoughtfully. "Tapos na ata lessons niyo?"

"Oo! Bitin nga eh," complained Marge, a catlike smile on her face.

Addie leaned over from her spot, clutching some printouts. "Good to see you relaxing," she said with a smile.

The girl beside her watched the newcomers with wide eyes. "Ate Addie, ang dami mo namang mga friends na pakwan. Hindi ko na kailangang hiramin yung legs mo ng overnight. At least maeenjoy sila ng boyfriend mo."

Jay squinted at her, remembering Etong. "Pakwan?"

"Debate anak ko nga pala, si Jo Ysciano," Addie said, sounding a little exasperated.

"Ate Addie, ang lalaki ng mga boobs nila," Jo gushed with a small cackle.

Tina shifted uncomfortably, eyes twitching. "Excuse me?"

Jo mimed jiggling her breasts. "Malaking boobs. Malaki. Basoomas. Nunga nungas. Umaalog alog, parang water balloons."

"Friend, shabu pa," scoffed Aurora.

Marge pointed at Jo's chest. "May boobs ka rin naman, malusog lusog din yan."

"Mas maganda kung share your blessings!" complained Jo. She reached out and groped Jay a little painfully, jostling her stitches. The latter slapped her hand away with a small wince.

"Gusto kong malaman kung ano yang tinitira mo at gaano kadami." Celeste said icily.

Addie gave them an apologetic look before pulling her pupil's ear. "You don't act like that to complete strangers, ano ka ba?"

Nena nodded thoughtfully. "Hindi lang unprofessional yan, kid. Rude din."

Jo pouted. "Well, hindi naman kayo strangers kung kilala kayo ni Ate Addie. Besides, hot kayo at isa lang yung hindi pakwan maliban kay Ate Addie." She stared pointedly at Aurora.

Jay held out her hand to prevent the girl from leaping into a fight and causing a scene. Her eyes caught sight of a newcomer heading right for their table."Dude, I think you should stop."

A shadow fell over their table as Vince stood behind Addie, staring at Jo. "Hanggang dito ba naman magdadala ka parin ng sakit ng ulo?" he said exasperatedly.

Addie held out her hands to the two of them, face paling. "I think we should take this outside."

Marge leaned over curiously. "Anong meron sakanila?"

Jay frowned, remembering where she saw a picture of that girl - one of the original Joven Hernando's books. "Asawa ni Vince yun sa past life niya," she said.

She was glad she and Greg didn't have unwanted ex spouses from another life to mess them up in the present - unless his unwilling betrothal to Dolores counted.


	15. It's Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay discovers a long lost family member.

_Time, indeed, flew for her. So many things have changed after that night, one year ago. Poleng's health, maybe, would never improve, but her relationship with Goyong continued to bloom. It was getting more and more difficult as whispers of the revolution took hold of their town. Her parents had banned Goyong from their house as they have heard news of his families' ties to the insurgents and their fear that it might tarnish their reputation and her daughter's marriage prospects. It wasn't fair, Poleng knew, but it wasn't like there was something she could do._

_"Alam kong hindi papayag ang mga magulang mo sa atin," he told her during one of their rendezvous in town. "Gusto na kitang pakasalan ngunit hindi nila ako papayagan na hingin ang iyong kamay."_

_"Hindi nga." Poleng gave him a long, hard, stare. "Pero alam mo namang pwede tayong magtanan, hindi ba?"_

_"Naiisip mo pala ang iniisip ko." He grinned and led her to the back of the town church, whereh his brother was waiting with his lover, Tina._

_They secretly married that afternoon with Julian and Tina were witnesses, exchanging rings that Tina had provided them with. They couldn't run away yet, as they needed to prepare, but it was reassuring to know that they had bound themselves to each other beforehand._

**Monday, 06-13-16, 5:00 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

They spent the rest of the week honing their spark, going through different activities that proved their strength and speed, channeling it in different ways such as improving their tools - sharpening knives with enough concentration, fortifying them like Tina did with the knives that could kill dopplegangers. They learned to sense emotions, especially those coming from people close to them, and sense the presence of magic both malevolent and not.

Jay was tired, but happy.

"Hindi na ata kayo gaanong sinusubaybayan ni Celeste," Goyong said as he watched her warm down in her room, her braid a mess all around her face.

"Di na nga masyado," she agreed, sitting beside him with a grin. "So, kumusta naman yung dinner niyo kasama ni Tito Selong mo? Kasama mo "

He shrugged, eyes glittering. "Tinuruan lang kami sa, um, mga kaya naming gawin. Simple lang naman - di gaya niyo. Sana lang makatulong sa inyo na kaya naming madetect yung mga pangyayaring _supernatural_ at makaramdam ng mga emotions. Kaya niyo rin naman daw gawin yun eh."

She smiled and patted his cheek affectionately. "Ano ka ba, sapat na yung nandyan kayo."

"Kamusta naman ang training niyo?" He asked, watching her stretch languidly. "Mukhang madami naman kayong natututunan."

"Madami nga. Masarap maging pagod kapag gusto mo yung pinagpapaguran mo." She chuckled as he scooted closer to her. "So ang sabi niya, ilang taon na ng training yung nalagpasan namin at medyo iba na yung gagawin namin."

"Iba ang gagawin?" Goyong asked, pulling her close.

Jay nodded, snuggling against him. She was sure they could have stayed like that until dinnertime and she wouldn't have complained at all. "Ang isa sa mga pinakaspecial na powers ng mga babaylan eh kaya nilang ichannel ang mga spirits. Hindi lang ito spirits ng mga patay."

"Ito din ba yung mga sinasamba nilang mga diyos noon?" he asked.

"Mismo." She remembered Celeste's words, and the difficult tasks that they were supposed to accomplish that week. "Itong mga spirits na ito yung magbibigay talaga sa amin ng iba pang powers at magiging guide na din namin sila sa susunod na part ng training namin."

The trust in his eyes was absolute. He didn't expect her to do her best. He  _knew_ that she would. "Ako ata yung nasasabik para sa iyo."

He couldn't disappoint him, or Celeste, or  _herself._ She was going to rise to the new challenge and give it her all. She wouldn't let her quietly failing health or her impending curse stop her.

There was a quiet knock before the door creaked open. Paco peeked in a little hesitantly, as if expecting the two of them to be  _busy_. "Jay, hinihintay ka na ni Ed sa kitchen. Kayo daw yung magluluto ngayon?"

Jay almost jumped out of her skin in surprise, just glad that they weren't caught  _making out_. "Yes, Koronel, ngayon din!" she said, doing the old fashioned salute that she learned from Goyong. "Di naman pwedeng magutom yung brigada natin."

**Friday, 06-17-16, 3:30 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

The last day of their training for the week had just ended. Jay felt sore from their rigorous exercises with their spark that would prepare them for the next part of their training, but she was still anticipating the next part of it on Monday.

"Gotta go na, 'Nay, mga ate!" Aurora said, stepping out of Jay's room dressed in her school uniform. "Baka malate pa ako, medyo strict yung prof ko sa Drawing 4."

"Ingat!" Jay called out as she ran off. She missed being a college student - it was much better than being in high school.

Marge tugged at her sleeve, a hesitant look in her face. "Pwede ba tayong magusap?" she asked in a soft voice.

Jay nodded, confused. "Oo naman."

"Gora lang, ako nang gagawa ng merienda," Tina chirped with a smile.

Marge made her way to the landing on the staircase, eyeing the old family pictures a little tentatively. She turned as Jay joined her, fumbling with something in her pockets. She pointed at the picture of a teenage boy in coat and tie, standing beside a girl in a blue dress. "Tatay mo ito, diba?"

"Tatay ko nga." Jay stared at the girl in the picture. "Yan daw yung high school sweetheart na naging reason kung bakit naging fuckboy siya noon."

Marge pulled out a picture from her pocket - the exact same one folded in four. "I never knew my parents. Iniwan ako ng nanay ko sa mga kapatid niya pagkasilang ko tapos bumalik na sa trabaho niya sa Dubai. Ito daw yung iniwan niyang picture sa akin kasi ito lang daw yung meron sila na - na magkasama yung nanay at tatay ko."

 _Nanay at tatay..._ Jay felt goosebumps trail down her arms at the thought. Hadn't she wondered, just a few weeks ago, about what it would be like if her father had children with other women? After all, just because he got married and doted on his kids didn't mean that he stayed loyal to his wife. After all, Isabella Rivera Hernando wasn't exactly an ideal person.

"Possible." Jay paused, doing the math. "Diba... May 1993 ka?"

"Oo, birthday ko is May 11," confirmed Marge. "Um, eksaktong two months pagkatapos ng sayo."

"Pansin ko nga. Mukhang pinagsunod niya yung mga nanay natin." Jay was pretty sure that her knees had gone weak but she fought off the feeling. It wasn't Marge's fault, after all, and that made them friends.

Marge almost seemed to wilt at her stare. "I'm sorry."

Jay shook her head. "Hindi mo naman kasalanan if nagkaaffair si Papa." She smiled and put an arm around Marge. "Ibig sabihin lang eh may bago kaming kapatid ni Kuya Joven. Willing ka bang magpa DNA test?"

Marge smiled. "Hindi kayo magagalit sa akin?"

"Bakit naman kami magagalit?" Jay pointed at the pictures. "We wouldn't wonder kung bakit maghahanap siya ng iba. Wala na si Papa, we may never know the full story."

"Salamat," Marge mumbled, eyes downcast.

If there was one thing Jay learned, it was to value the family she made. Marge was family, whether they really were sisters or not. They had to look out for each other.

"Walang laglagan at walang iwanan ang Team Hijo de Puta and alam mo naman yun. You're one of us," she said, eyes twinkling. She turned their attention toward the stairs and the dining room beside it. "Anyway, baka mainip na si Tina sa kakahintay sa atin. Alam mo naman yun."

Marge smiled, unspoken gratitude in her eyes. "Baka balatin pa tayo ng buhay pag nakuhang matunaw nung tinimpla niyang juice ano?"

Jay's lips lifted into an off kilter smile. "Kilala mo naman yun."

**Friday, 06-17-16, 7:45 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

"Possibleng half sister nga natin si Marge. At least pumayag siya sa DNA test." Joven paced his room, mulling things over after hearing out Jay's story. He stared at his sister every once in a while, the grim look never leaving his face. "Alam naman nating pareho na medyo nanlamig si Papa kay Mama pagkasilang ko."

"Can't exactly blame him." Jay shifted from her position, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed. She remembered just how distant her mother was to everyone, even before she became abusive.

He nodded and looked up, eyes darkening as he sat at the edge of his bed. "Wag muna nating sasabihin sa iba hangga't wala pang proof."

She sighed.  _"Balu ku." Alam ko._

"Naninigurado lang." He ran his hands through his hair. "I don't hold this against her. Hindi naman niya kasalanan kung totoo eh."

"Alam ko rin yun." She looked down, remembering how scared and hesitant her bubbly friend had become. "Kaibigan parin natin siya, whatever happens."

"Tama." He stared at her, as if wondering about her resemblances to Marge.

Her smile faltered at his gaze, remembering Mayang. She told him of a prophecy - of a Hernando descendant who would defeat Dolores. If Marge was related to them, Mayang must have surely known that she was a Hernando too.

Was Jay  _really_ the one who was supposed to do what everyone was now expecting her to?

"Huy, may problema ka ba?" Joven asked, snapping his fingers.

She jumped up, surprised. She gave him an apologetic smile. "Naaalala mo pa ba yung kinwento namin sa inyo? Yung si Mayang?"

He broke his gaze as he rubbed his chin. "Yun yung babaylan, hindi ba?"

"Mismo." She felt herself trembling. "Kung Hernando din pala si Marge at ayan, babaylan trainee na din... bakit sigurado siyang ako yung tatalo kay Dolores?"

"Well una... ikaw ang lover ni Goyong." Joven smiled, finally finding a question he could answer. He gave her a look over and his grin widened. "Well, pareho kayong mas bata as mas maganda ni Marge kaysa kay Dolores pero factor talaga yang relationship niyo ng heneral eh. Besides, kung hindi pa sapat yung mga ibang ginawa niya dati, very telling na yung sumpang binigay niya sa iyo. She marked you as a threat, at personal ang laban niyong dalawa."

She couldn't  _not_ believe him. She shuddered as pain lanced through her chest. "Sa tingin mo ba kakayanin ko yun? I mean, may taningnna yung sumpa ko. Less than a month na lang."

"I would have been skeptical about supernatural shit noon, pero di na ngayon." Joven looked her in the eye, turning suddenly serious. It made him look more like his original self. "She foresaw na you can, and you will. "

**Saturday, 06-18-16, 3:00 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

_Poleng appeared to her that night, her eyes sparkling with pride. "Malayo na ang narating mo," she said softly. "Malapit na tayong maging isa at lumalakas na ang iyong kapangyarihan laban kay Dolores."_

_"Maging isa?" Jay knew Poleng pertained to her disassociation with her past life. "Ako si Jay at ikaw si Poleng. Di pa ba ayos yun?"_

_"Upang matalo si Dolores, kailangan mong tanggapin na iisa lamang si Jay at si Poleng." Poleng's eyes hardened into steel. "Maiintindihan mo din kapag naalala mo na ang lahat."_

_Jay paused, lost for words. "Bakit hindi ko maalala?"_

_Poleng smiled sadly. "Tinatawag ata itong repression sa Ingles. May mga ala ala na masakit at katakot takot at ginusto ko silang kalimutan. Mas malakas at mas matapang ka kaysa sa akin, Jay. Alam kong kakayanin mo ang mga ala ala na... na sumira sa akin."_

_"Pero paano ko sila maaalala?" Jay asked, confused._

_"Puntahan mo ang libingan ko." Poleng caressed her cheek. "Hindi ko nakayanan ang mga naging pagsubok ko pero... Ikaw ang taong pinangarap kong maging noon, mula sa katawan hanggang sa iyong ugali, lakas at katapangan. Tiwala ako sa iyong kakayahan."_


	16. Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay meets dead people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning sa flashbacks po.

_She hasn't heard from him for days - not since they secretly married, not since they consummated it in their forest clearing. She had began to prepare everything in secret while waiting for him to come back and spirit her away from Floridablanca for good. She gathered small bundles of clothes she could carry, her wedding ring, and various trinkets that were light enough not to impede here in the long run._

_"Alam mo naman na malapit ang mga magulang mo sa mga guardia civil," Totillo said mournfully._

_"Alam ko nga yun." Poleng knew they would need to be swift and fast. They had to put enough distance before her parents caught whiff of the fact that their only child eloped with a boy they had began to disapprove of._

_Of course, everything had to go wrong._

_First was the fact that she realized that her period was delayed, two weeks after the marriage. The second was when her parents arrived the next day, bringing the storm with them._

_Poleng was awakened by the sharp pain in her scalp as her mother pulled her hair, dragging her out of bed. Eyes watering, her gaze shifted from her mother, to her father, to an unfamiliar young man watching her smugly from the door. "Malandi ka talagang bata ka!" her mother shrieked, dragging her out of the room._

_All Poleng could do was cry out in pain as her mother dragged her to the edge of the stairs. "Kay lakas ng loob mong pagpakasal ng patago at magplano ng pagtatanan habang nagpapagod kami ng iyong ama upang makahanap ng mapapangasawa mo!" she shrieked, slapping and hitting her daughter repeatedly. Poleng's eyes flickered to the stranger who delivered the letter into her parents' hands, quietly pleading for help."Kung hindi lamang nakuha ni Ginoong Reyes ang sulat na ipadadala sana sa iyo ng hijo de putang Gregorio na iyon..."_

_"Mahal ko siya," Poleng argued, raising her voice for the first time in her nineteen years of life._

_"Ingrata!" Her mother pushed her with all force down the stairs, sending her frail body tumbling down._

_A shriek escaped Poleng's lips as her belly erupted in pain, blood seeping between her legs._

**Monday, 06-20-16, 10:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

The living room felt charged with some kind of _energy_ as the babaylan trainees peered at Jay's laptop screen. Celeste was smiling at them through their video call, perched on a leather office seat. "Mukhang handa na kayo para sa susunod na part ng training," she announced. "Hindi madali ang spiritual side ng powers natin pero... _agyu ye yan." Kaya niyo yan._

"Sana nga," Jay said with a nervous smile. As much as she loved their training, she couldn't help but feel preoccupied that day. Marge had agreed to take the DNA test the previous day, and they were all waiting for the results. The thought of it made Jay both anxious and excited at the same time.

"Konting tiwala naman, 'Nay," chirped Aurora.

Tina nodded in determination. "So Celeste, anong susunod na gagawin namin?"

"Since marunong na kayong magchannel ng spark niyo externally, oras na para naman sa internal na pagchannel," Celeste said. Her smile hardened upon seeing the relief on their faces. "It's not as easy as it sounds. Alam kong nagawa niyo na yung exercises diyan. Naaalala niyo yung mga exercises niyo last Friday? Basics ng internal channeling yung pagchannel ng spark habang pinipigilan itong... ibahin kayo at yung mga bagay na hinahawakan niyo."

Marge groaned. It was understandable - after all, she was the one who had the most difficult time with that exercise. "Ibig sabihin basic pa lang yun?" she complained.

"Kakasabi pa lang niya, Captain Obvious," Aurora said with a roll of her eyes.

"Hep hep, no need to be mean," Jay said half jokingly. She turned to Celeste with a smile. "We're ready."

Celeste directed them into opening their bodies to their spark, letting it flow through them and around them. It was important, she said, in order for them to summon the spirit who would be bound to them for life and mark them as initiates. It truly was as difficult as it sounded. Though they merely sat, cross legged, on their favored spots on the plush golden living room carpet, it felt as though Jay was running for miles already. Silence had filled the room over the next few minutes that stretched into hours, though Jay wasn't sure if it really was as silent as it seemed or if it was an effect of how they were using their spark at the moment. Keeping up the flow of their powers was enough of a task for her at the moment, and she could not afford to be distracted.

**Monday, 06-20-16, 11:45 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

That wasn't to say that she was able to  _successfully_ keep away distractions, of course. Thoughts of the DNA test and Marge, anxiety over her condition and how it could impede her training, and the prospect of facing Dolores kept surfacing unpleasantly at the forefront of her thoughts. Even her spark, which used to be so reassuring,  _empowering_ , seemed to whisper to her, feeding her insecurities.  _Hindi ko ata kaya ito._ Her throat hitched at the thought. She can't just give up, and she knew it, but she had to admit that her body wasn't exactly  _ideal._ She was ill and probably dying.

She let back a choked sob and began to let go of the spark - but it clung to her, refusing to dissipate. She couldn't even open her eyes.

She wished she was good enough to meet expectations. She wished she wasn't ill. She wished she was everything that was needed to defeat Dolores.

_Her mind's eye opened and she found herself standing in her empty room, the sunlight streaming through the window, setting it aglow. Her father was sitting on the chair by her study table, looking exactly like she remembered him - his unkempt hair streaked with gray, black framed eyeglasses askew, an off kilter smile on his face. It was almost easy to believe that Joven Hernando IV, Cuatro, still lived._

_"Alam mo namang good enough ka, anak," he said._

_Jay felt herself tear up. She tried to suppress it, knowing that he was gone, but recent events had made her miss her father even more. "Paano ako magiging enough? Ang dami ko nang flaws at nakikisabay pa yung sumpa ko."_

_A ripple of anger flashed through his eyes. "Alam ko yung ginawa sa iyo ni Dolores. I've been watching parin. You don't deserve that."_

_"Naging reckless ako eh." She bit her lip and sat on her bed, feeling despondent. "Wala na rin naman akong magagawa."_

_"Alam mo yung sinabi dun sa pinapanood mong show nung kakagraduate mo ng college? When we _hit_ our _lowest point_ , we are open to the greatest change. At kinailangan mong maramdaman ang tuwa at lungkot sa training mo para maging ready ka sa susunod na part ng training mo.” Cuatro put his hand on her forehead - he felt so warm, so real. "Oo nga pala, _ _hindi ko nakuhang malaman na anak ko rin ang kaibigan mong si Marge, pero alagaan niyo ang isa't isa para sa akin."_

_The scene faded in a whirl of colors, taking Jay's tears with it. It felt as if she was speeding past something, hearing vestiges of voices and seeing flashes of people. She thought she saw the old Joven once, and even Poleng herself, sitting in the middle of a field of white roses. She didn't know how long it took for everything to stop, torn between an eternity and a second._

_She was standing in an unknown garden of white flowers, right beside a pool of nigh clear water that gave her a view of her reflection - clothes crumpled and hair messed, as if she rode in a speeding vehicle with the windows thrown wide open._

_"Jay," a high, youthful voice roused her from her thoughts._

_A young woman dressed in colorful clothes stood not far from her. She was quite beautiful, with delicate yet fierce features, short yet solidly built, her skin like burnished bronze. Her long, rippling black hair was held back by a strip of fiery red cloth._

_Jay should have been afraid, but she wasn't. "Sino ka?"_

_The woman full lips parted in a beautiful smile. "Ako si Tala." She was an ancestor, if Mayang was right. "Ikaw pala ang batang sinasabi ni Mayang noon."_

_Jay bowed her head with a grim smile. "Sana'y hindi kayo mabigo sa akin."_

_Tala put a hand on the other woman's chest. "Alam namin ang nilalaman ng puso mo, Jay, at alam naming hindi kami mabibigo."_

_As she withdrew her touch, a golden glow began to surround Jay, the old warmth of her spark returning. Looking up, she caught sight of Tala standing beside a dark haired foreign man, his brown eyes gazing at her with what looked like pride. He could only be Carlos Hernando. Before Jay could say something, they smiled and faded away. In their place was a man with sunkissed mahogany skin, clad in clothes in tones of yellow and red._

_"Nagagalak akong makilala ka sa wakas, Jay." His voice resonated all around them, achingly reminiscent of Cuatro's. "Ako ang magiging gabay mo mula sa oras na ito."_

_Jay bowed her head, overwhelmed and awed. "Mahirap po atang hanapan ng salita yung nararamdaman ko ngayon." It had been a confusing roller coaster of emotions, and it would take some time to understand it all._

_"Ako si Sinukuan at pinili kita dahil nakikita ko sa iyo ang apoy at liwanag ng araw." The warmth and light that seemed to pour out of the two of them threatened to overwhelm Jay. It was so difficult to believe that she was galking to someone that her ancestors in Pampanga worshipped as the ruler of their deities. "Mabuti ang iyong kalooban. Ang apoy mo ay hindi lamang dala ng silakbo ng damdamin. Nandoon din ang katapangan ng isang mandirigma, at ang pagmamahal mo sa mga tao sa paligid mo - at nandoon parin an kababaan ng iyong loob."_

_"Parang hindi po ako karapat dapat para dito pero..." She bowed her head with a smile, her spark threatening to burn her in its warm, caring fire. "Handa na po ako."_

_"Tama ang aking pinili." Sinukuan chuckled as he held out his arms, as if to wrap her in his embrace, turning into a bright glow of light that surrounded her, became her. They were fire and light, war and destruction, death and rebirth, love and passion._

**Monday, 06-20-16, 1:15 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

She woke up to the hungry rumble of her stomach. She was sprawled on the floor, sweat beading her forehead despite the air conditioning unit. The others were surrounding her with concern in their eyes.

"Ikaw yung huling nagising," Tina said, worry creasing her eyes as she helped Jay sit up. "Akala namin dahil sa sakit mo."

"Siya naman yung huling, um, nagcollapse sa inyo, ang kukulit niyo talaga," Celeste pointed out, looking a little relieved despite her words. She paused to take a sip of water, her eyes trained on them. "May nararamdaman ka bang kakaiba?"

Jay took a quick assessment of herself, noting that she actually felt  _great_ aside from the painful throb of her chest. "Ayos na ayos lang ako," she said.

Celeste nodded. "Ganyan talaga ang feeling kapag nakilala mo na yung partner mo. Sino nga ba ang nakausap niyo? Si Malyari ang akin eh - moon at river goddess."

"Si Galura yung akin," Tina said self assuredly. "Galura means eagle sa Kapampangan, diba?"

"Oo. Storm god siya," Marge said, waving the photocopies they got from the Center for Kapampangan Studies last Saturday. "Sa akin is si Mangatya. Sky at creation goddess daw?"

Aurora drummed her fingers against the edge of the table. "Sa akin si Munag Sumala. May kinalaman daw sa dawn eh." She mumbled something about light and darkness before trailing off.

Jay lifted her gaze from her fingers. "Sa akin si Sinukuan. Sun at war god, tama?"

"Tama." Celeste peered at her with a smile. "Siya din ang isa sa mga pinaka powerful - kasama ni Malyari, Mangatya, at Galura... At isa sa mga pinaka mysterious si Munag Sumala. Anyway, magwrap up na tayo for today. Sigurado akong gutom na kayo at kailangan niyo pang iprocess yung nangyari, sigurado ako."

Jay wasn't sure how she could properly process the fact that she talked to her dead father, met ancestors from almost six centuries ago, and learned that the spirit who chose her was Sinukuan of Arayat himself.  _How to process po, life? Ganito ba ang pakiramdam ng mga Avatar?_


	17. Interlude: Kahit Walang Sabihin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Countdown to July 15

_She was in pain from her miscarriage and the bruises her parents have left in her body over the past few days. Her body was battered and yet it held nothing in compare to the agony that the next few minutes would cause her. She had to keep reminding herself that she was doing these to save Goyong from the Guardia Civil that her father was threatening to set loose upon him. It broke her heart to break his, but there was no other way. He had to live._

_She wrote a letter that ended everything between and yet there he was, demanding to talk to her face to face. Her parents were going to watch their exchange, she knew it. They would make sure that there will be hell to pay if she ran off with him right under their noses._

_He had to live, he had to._

_She had to be ice and steel if she were to protect him and face the torment that would come with the future. Clutching her shawl tightly, she stepped into the windy yard to meet him under the acacia tree. She had to be ice and steel - no room for fire. "Bakit ka pa pumarito? Wala na tayong dapat pagusapan pa." How she wanted to tell him that the letter was a lie, that she wanted to run away with him if it wouldn't cost him his life._

_The pain in his eyes hurt her, but she had to be cold as ice, hard as steel. She was his wife and he her husband, and she had to do her duty to him. Their wedding vows would never be erased, and the wedding ring she hid was going to be its proof, but they must forget if they wanted to survive._

_"Mahal parin kita, Poleng." His voice was but a whisper in the wind._

_"SInabi ko na lahat ng dapat kong sabihin. Wala na akong nararamdan para sa iyo. Umalis ka na, Gregorio. Ayaw na kitang makita pa." She turned away without another word._

_She lingered by the kitchen door for a while, unable to fight back thetears._

**Sunday, 06-26-16, 11:00 PM, McDonald's Balibago**

Jay sipped her float anxiously while waiting for Marge to open the envelope containing the DNA test result. She told nobody about a certain part of her conversation with her long dead father which confirmed Marge's parentage. After all, she was pretty sure that Marge would prefer not to have the surprise spoiled - the younger woman thrived in small bits of excitement, after all - and Joven would prefer seeing the closest thing he could get to a written proof.

"Parang ayoko nang tignan," Marge was saying with a small, breathless laugh.

Joven leaned forward, eyes trained on the envelope, as if watching a potentially dangerous weapon. "Tignan mo na, wag kang matakot," he said in an absentminded tone. He was obviously thinking hard of the result and its consequences.

Marge made a face and glanced at Jay, unable to look as she flipped the envelope open and took out the sheaf of papers in it. "Titingin o hindi?"

"Titingin na yan," Jay said teasingly, her newfound senses telling her that her friend was more than  _excited_ to see it. "Pakipot ka pa eh!"

Marge gave her a small grin before gazing at the papers, skimming through the words as fast as she could. Her shoulders tensed up as she set it down on the table, as if challenging them to read the results. "Positive."

Jay gave her a warm smile, patting her hand. "Sabi na nga ba! Welcome to the family."

Joven fidgeted on his seat as he regarded the two women shrewdly. "Sasabihin ba natin sa team ito?" he asked quietly.

Jay locked gazes with him, tucking a wild lock of crimson hair behind her ear with a smile. "Sa akin kasi ayos lang. Ikaw ba, Marge?"

"Hindi naman sila judgy eh." Marge looked up at them, fears and doubts etched on her pretty face. "Ayos na ayos lang din sa akin. Pero enough na alam na ng team. Secret nalang nating lahat ito, ha?"

It wasn't going to be a problem, letting it be the team's secret to keep. Jay took another sip of her float, remembering her vision of her father yet again. She wondered what it would have been like for her family if her father knew about Marge, if her mother would have left them, or if her behavior would have been worse. A voice in her head -  _Sinukuan's -_ told her that there was no use in dwelling in the past. He was right, of course. They were there to shape the future, after all.

"Madami kang iniisip na what ifs, alam ko," she said. She had a lot of them herself. "Pero wala na din tayong magagawa. Pero at least ngayong alam na natin yung totoo..."

A small smile lit up Marge's face. "Ngayong alam na natin yung totoo, at least makakabawi na tayo sa isa't isa."

**Monday, 06-27-16, 3:00 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Now that they had found the spirits wou would be lending them their powers, the trainees had all undergone their self study, honing their own personal abilities and reporting to Celeste at the end of the day. Jay found it more gruelling than their prior training, but she supposed it never gets easier. It was fine by her despite the fact that ever ball of fire she summoned, every ray of light she conjured, every hint of warmth she created took a toll on her body. She couldn't - wouldn't give up. Everyone was expecting her to have a hand in Dolores' downfall and she had to give it her all.

"Hinay hinay lang at baka masunog mo yung garden," Paco joked as he opened the smaller gate. He had just arrived from the day's classes, clutching a pile of papers. "Mukhang malayo na yung nararating niyo sa training niyo ah."

She nodded with a smile. She was sure the others were faring much better at their homes, but it didn't matter. Her training was between her and Sinukuan now and there was no more room for letting herself be eaten by insecurities. "Malayo na at mahirap ito, pero kakayanin."

He gave her a look of approval. "That's the spirit," he told her warmly. "Hindi ka dapat nagpapatalo."

She watched him make his way indoors before turning back to continue her training.  _Hindi nga dapat ako nagpapatalo._ She was fire and steel - passionate and strong.

**Friday, 07-01-16, 7:30 PM, Didi's Pizza**

"Ang lalim ng iniisip mo," Goyong said worriedly, making jay look up from the menu she was staring at. He leaned forward, his face looking haunted in the semidarkness. "May problema ka ba, o sadyang hirap ka lang talagang magdecide kung gusto mo ng fries para sa pizza burger mo?"

"Both." She set down the menu, feeling an odd rumble in her gut. Her training for the day had gone well enough, though it left her with a burning ache in the middle of her chest. It was normal fare for her as her training did not do her health any kindness. "Napapaisip lang ako kasi... July na eh."

His eyes darkened at her words, but the smile never left his face.  _Para ba sa iyo yan, o sa akin?_ "Malapit nag magisang taon magmula nung una tayong nagkita ano?"

A giddy sort of warmth bloomed in her gut, despite the dark turn of her thoughts. It was going to be a year to the day they met on the twenty fourth - he was right. "Kasama na yun. Pero malapit na din yung taning ng sumpa ko. Exactly two weeks nalang."

"Dios mio patatas. Lalaban, diba? Sinabi lang niya, titigil ang puso mo. Di naman ibig sabihin na hindi ka maililigtas ng mga doktor." For a moment, he was the boy general again, doing his damn best to boost a soldier's morale. He must have faced similarly terrible odds and pulled through simply through sheer confidence. "Alam kong susubukan tayong pigilan ni Dolores pero diba hindi lang naman siya yung may laban ngayon, diba?"

The team trusted in her. Mayang did.  _Poleng_ expressed her confidence in her. She really hated letting people down, especially those important to her. maybe their brand of  _magic_ was enough. It had to be. "Tama ka," she told him as much as she was telling herself. "May laban nga tayo. Wala man tayong ilang daang taon para matutunan ang lahat ng kailangang matutunan... mas madami naman tayo."

He patted her hand. "That's the  _spirit,_ " he chirped. "Don't us, Dolores. Mas badass ang fiancee ko kaysa sa iyo." Goyong - supportive and bright - never did fail to make her feel better about  _everything_.

Her health was failing, she knew it. Her body was weak, but it didn't mean that she had to give up so easily. The love she felt from everyone close to her was going to be the fuel to her flames. She was the sun with all its brilliance and heat- and she was going to shine brighter and hotter than Dolores, consume her foe in her wrath.

**Bonus**

**Friday, 07-01-16, 7:30 PM, Mar's Garden**

Julio watched Marge fidget on her seat while they waited for their dinner. Worry gnawed at his gut - after all, she had been surprisingly jumpy ever since they broke the news that she was a Hernando. "Hanggang ngayon iniisip mo parin ba yun?" he asked, concerned.

She nodded, biting her lip self consciously. "Hindi naman ito tungkol sa... pagiging anak ko sa labas," she clarified. "Kinakabahan lang ako kasi sabi ni Celeste, kailangan naming tulungan si Jay laban kay Dolores. Kakayanin kaya namin?"

He reached out and poked her head with a breathless chuckle. "Kayo pa? Jusme, daig niyo pa ata sila Sailor Moon!"

A grin filled her pretty face.  _That's more like it._ "Hindi ako sure tungkol sa akin. Special skills na ata ni Mangatya yung hangin powers at yung connection sa mga halaman - gaya ng mga flowers."

"The flowers bloom, the morning shines and..." Julio trailed off, knowing that she might not get the reference.

She did. "Kapag ikaw kumanta ka ng Your Love diyan, ibubuhos ko yung Coke sa buhok mo," she said in a singsong voice.

Marge was whimsical and warmand he didn't deserve her at all, weirdo that he was, but he'll do  _anything_ just to make her happy. Her love wasn't like the sun, nor like a river. It was the earth, solid and stubborn.

**Friday, 07-01-16, 7:30 PM, St. Martha Dorm, Holy Angel University**

Nonong really was just there to review for a quiz, really. He wasn't there to flirt with Aurora or canoodle with her or anything. The silence in her dorm room just made studying math -  _pakyu Statistics -_ much more bearable compared to the hustle and bustle of the household. Having been there all evening, his neck was starting to hurt already. Looking up, he saw her so focused on the drawing that she was making for one of her classes, oblivious to everything including him.

_And then it hit him._

She really was  _something_ special - hardworking and spirited. She wasn't like any girl he's dated. It was so easy to understand why Jay took her under her wing. They were so similar yet fundamentally different from each other. And he loved every little thing about her, the girl who always brought the dawn to him and made him feel hopeful about everything.

"So pwede na bang maging tayo?" he blurted out.

She raised an eyebrow. "Crush mo ba calcu ko? Look at this sexy piece of shit. Baka calcu ko kausap mo. I mean... ang ganda lang talaga ng calcu ko eh."

 _Shit, no turning back._ "Ikaw yung kausap ko."

She stared and stared and stared, as if pondering. "Sige na nga. Kawawa ka naman."

**Friday, 07-01-16, 7:30 PM, Fortune Teahouse**

Julian was pretty sure that something was bothering Tina. His magical, dreamy girlfriend seemed too lost in her thoughts that day to share whatever they were with him. He really wouldn't have minded but he was sure that something was  _wrong._ "May nangyari ba sa training mo kanina?" he asked in concern.

She looked up from her dinner, her pretty face creased in a frown. She rubbed her chest anxiously. "May parating na bagyo," she murmured. She  _did_ say that she was channeling a storm spirit now, so it shouldn't have come as a surprise. As a matter of fact, her powers even made sense. Even their love was like lightning, bold and free.

"Bagyo? Well, July na nga naman, di na rin ako magugulat," he told her, confused.

She gave him her best death glare. "Hindi yung bagyong  _ganun_! Yung metaphorical na bagyo. Yung tipong shit is going to hit the fan soon para sa buong team."

Her words chilled him. He was pretty sure that she knew what she was saying, and it wasn't a pretty thought. "Malapit na yung taning ni Jay - sa kinse na yun. Sa tingin mo may balak si Dolores para sa ating lahat?" he asked nervously.

"Oo. Kailangan nating maging  _prepared,_ natatakot ako..." she said. "Kagabi pa ako hindi mapakali."

"At least may spider senses ka tungkol diyan," he said. "Hindi natatakot ang Team Hijo de Puta sa Evil Witch of the West."

**Friday, 07-01-16, 7:30 PM, Tarlac, Tarlac**

Celeste stared at the small wooded area at the end of the road, thinking, thinking,  _thinking_. Her memories of her past life were mostly clear, but a few certain details remained fragments - like those of the girl who looked like her. Her name was  _Poleng,_ she recalled, and she was called Jay in the present. Her warm and caring side reared its head, telling her that Jay had to know about their past connection. It involved a  _grave,_ she was sure. The power of Malyari reared in her gut though, warning her that it wasn't quite time yet.

"Kanina ka pa nakatingin diyan," her boyfriend, Paulo Piqueras, was saying as he followed her down the sidewalk, peeling his _suman_ casually. "Balak mo bang mag-ghost hunting?"

"Alam nating pareho na  _natatakot_ ang mga multo sa akin." She was the moon - the darkness and the tides, life and death. "Gusto ko nang sabihin yung tungkol kay Poleng pero may pumipigil sa akin."

"Yung powers mo, ano?" He sighed and mischievously waved his food around. "Naaalala mo ba yung last time na di ka nakinig diyan?"

She winced. She knew too well that it almost involved her in a car crash. "Naaalala ko pero..." She couldn't just  _hide_ it from Jay.

"Shhh, iniiwas ka lang sa pahamak," he said, taking her hand and glancing anxiously at the forest.  _"Abalu na rin kapag oras na." Malalaman rin niya kapag oras na._

Oh, how she loved him like the sea, vast and mesmerizing.


	18. Save Yourself I'll Hold Them Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay goes on a rescue mission

_She was ice and steel, she had to keep reminding herself as she beheld herself in the mirror, clad in her wedding dress and a wreath of flowers upon her hair. Fist clenched and body stiff, she composed herself before turning to her favorite cousin - sweet, innocent Joven who always looked up to her even if he shouldn't have._

_"Joven, akala ko'y hindi ka makakadalo," she said, her voice clipped and forced._

_"Sabik na sabik si Inay," he said with a shrug._

_She feigned a smile. Ito na ang huling pagkakataon na papasok ako dito bilang si Binibining Hernando. Magiging na akong Ginang Santos pagkatapos ng kasal na ito - at hindi ko man alam kung makakaapak pa akong muli sa kwartong ito._ _Sana'y sumama na lamang ako kay Gregorio nang mag-alok siyang magtanan kami." She wouldn't - couldn't have. He would have been killed._

_"Ngunit ginawa mo ang nararapat para sa pamilya at mga magulang mo, hindi ba? Minahal mo ba siya? Ang balita ko'y sumali na siya sa himagsikan." A note of distrust colored Joven's voice._

_"Mahal ko parin siya," she said, her voice coming out sharper than intended. Goyong was her husband, not this stranger. "Iisipin ko parin siya tuwing gabi. Iisipin ko siya tuwing may balita ng mga rebeldeng napaslang. Iisipin ko siya habang siya naman ang ikinakasal. Iisipin ko siya hangga't makakaya ko."_

_"Kahit na nalimutan ka na niya?" Joven asked._

_They can't forget their vows. "Dulot lamang ito ng nararamdaman ko para sa daan na pinili kong tahakin."_

**Friday, 07-08-16, 10:30 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

She only had seven days remaining.

Jay was pretty sure that everyone would be expecting her to become an anxious mess, but she surprised even herself. She had thrown herself into her training, despite the toll it took upon her body. She had to keep going, couldn't give up. The team was expecting  _more_ from her, and she couldn't exactly disappoint them.

"Bumibigay na yung katawan mo," Goyong told her that night in her room.

She sat down on the bed beside him, combing her hair that was still damp from her shower. "Alam ko," she said worriedly. It was easier to find herself breathless these past few days and she knew that her heart might give out from the training instead of her curse. "Hindi naman ako pwedeng tumigil, diba?"

"Alam ko rin yun." Goyong didn't sound too happy about his words, though. He fumbled with the bedsheet, a brooding look in his eyes. "Alam kong hindi ko dapat hingin ito sa iyo pero... siguraduhin mong magbabayad siya, ha?"

"Sisiguraduhin ko ding nandoon ka at manonood habang ginagawa ko yun," she said with a grin. They had to  _believe_ that things will be well, that she will be able to do as they expected, or else she wouldn't be able to face the coming days.

He gazed at her with affection in his eyes - affection that someone like her couldn't deserve. A smile played on his lips, reminding her of that day they first met in SM Clark. "Aabangan ko yan."

She had the sun in her. It was slowly killing her but she would make sure that she would make it burn bright before her time runs out.

Her phone rang, making the two of them jump. She exchanged glances with Goyong, wondering who could be calling at that hour. Her stomach felt like falling when she picked up her phone saw that it was  _Celeste._ She wondered if something was wrong.

"Jay!" Celeste's voice trembled as her call was answered. "Buti nalang gising ka pa."

"Hindi ko gawain yung matulog ng maaga kahit na bawal akong mapuyat. Pero hindi sa  _not safe for work_ na paraan ha?" Jay felt her cheeks heat up as she glanced at Goyong, who raised an eyebrow with a mischievous grin. "May problema ba? Di ba bawal ding magpuyat yung mga buntis?"

"Well..." Celeste laughed nervously. There was a pause, punctuated only by the faint rustling sound of static. "Dude, I'm sorry kung medyo weird at biglaan yung tanong pero naniniwala ka ba sa  _reincarnation_?"

Jay blinked, surprised by the question. "Pare, we're training to be babaylans. Bakit naman hindi pa ako maniniwala sa reincarnation, aber?"

Celeste laughed at that. "Does the name  _Poleng_ ring a bell?"

"Poleng? Oo." Jay caught sight of Goyong's bewildered expression. She placed a hand on his thigh, squeezing it gently. "Medyo out of this world mang isipin pero nickname yun ng past life ko. Sobrang kulang na kulang yung mga ala ala ko tungkol sakanya."

"May deets ako tungkol sakanya." Celeste paused again. This time, a man's voice could be faintly heard in the background.  _"Ploo,_ mamaya na."

Jay snorted.  _"Ploo_ ang nickname ng boyfriend mo?"

"Nung highschool pa." Celeste laughed. "Anyway, um, medyo hazy yung mga naaalala ko tungkol kay Poleng pero I met her talaga dito sa Tarlac noong 1890's. Medyo busy ako this weekend lalo na't aalis papuntang Ilocos itong kasama ko pero I'll try to do some research, tapos uupdate kita ha?"

Jay remembered that letter again.  _Tarlac._ All her memories of Poleng involved Floridablanca. Something terrible must have happened in Tarlac. "Celeste, you don't really have to do this pero salamat, ha?"

Celeste groaned. "Wala yun.  _Fuck,_ masakit na talaga yung likod ko. Kailangan ko nang matulog. Sabihan kita pag may maayos nang information."

Jay grinned. "Salamat. Good night."

Celeste murmured a reply and ended the call.

"Anong napagusapan niyo?" Goyong asked, sounding so casual.

"May alam siya tungkol kay Poleng." Jay said, lying down with a huff. "Hindi rin gaanong klaro yung memories niya kaya maguupdate nalang daw. Akalain mong reincarnation din pala siya?"

Goyong winced, rubbing his forehead. "May... kahawig siyang babae noon sa Tarlac. Um, asawa ng dating espiya ng Katipunan. Nadaanan lang namin sila kasi nagpadala sila ng rasyon sa amin."

"Pero hindi mo naisip na siya yun? O na may kinalaman siya kay Poleng?" she asked gently.

His shoulders slumped glumly as he slid down beside her. "Nagsususpetsa ako na siya nga yun pero hindi ko naman naisip na mahalaga at... di ko rin alam na kilala niya si Poleng."

Jay patted his arm gently and let him cuddle with her. "Ayos lang yan," she whispered in his ear. "At least malapit na nating makuha yung mga sagot."

**Tuesday, 07-12-16, 2:00 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Meditation came easily to Jay now. It was part of her training, after all, and she now had the sun to guide her.

 _Malapit nang matapos ang iyong pagaaral,_ it whispered in her head.  _Kailangan mo nalang harapin ang sarili mo. Ito na lamang ang sumagabal sa iyo._

She saw a distorted reflection of herself in her mind's eye. She was beautiful to the point of being unrecognizable, her features masking something  _foul._ Her body eas the same - solid and voluptous - taking a languidly feminine stance. Her hair was still bright like flames, but took on a painfully orange color.

It was her and yet not her - all her negative emotions and insecurities rolled into one being. Just seeing it made her balk, feeling everything terrible about her welling up. She couldn't face herself  _that_ way. Not even if her fellow trainees are already doing it.

Her ruminations were broken by the loud ringing of her phone. Her eyebrows raised when she saw Julio's name pop up on the screen, alarm bells ringing in her head.

"Kuya, may problema ba?" Her mind was reeling though she had no details yet.

"Si Marge." Julio let out a groan. "Kinuha ng anino ni Aguinaldo."

 _"Fuck._ _"_ All the breath seemed to leave her body as she was already conditioning herself for action. Her eyes flicked to the only other people at home - Addie and Vince, who were talking sweetly in one corner.

"Fuck indeed," groaned Julio. "Nag undertime ako para ihatid siya sa tita niyang nasa Balibago kaso naaksidente kami dito sa Crossing salamat sa anino. May konting sugat ako pero I  _think_ ayos na ako. I'm so sorry Jay, ikaw lang kasi yung sumasagot."

She glanced at Addie and Vince. Nope, she wasn't going to disrupt them anytime soon. They seemed too engrossed with each other and she didn't have the heart to ask for their help. She'll have to do it alone. "Kapit lang, Kuya. I'm on my way."

Julio laughed. "Thanks, at pasensya na ulit. Nandito ako sa may Crossing mismo. Gumagana pa yung kotse ko pero tangina yung binti ko..."

**Tuesday, 07-12-16, 2:30 PM, Angeles City Proper**

She found Julio sitting right inside his car, which looked awfully battered and dented. He did look worse for wear, his bad leg damaged by the impact on the crushed driver's door.

"May mga nagoffer na tumulong kanina pero tinanggihan ko," he explained. "Hindi naman nila  _maiintindihan_ anong nangyayari. May nasesense akong supernatural dito."

"I know, right?" Jay looked around, channeling her  _spark_ as if by instinct. She saw faint traces of vile black smoke mixed with blue shimmers - an imprint of Dolores' magic interspersed with Marge's. It was enough to form a trail they could follow.

"Jay, anong nakikita mo?" Julio asked worriedly.

"Fried na ang driver's license ko since 2014 but we have no choice ata." She looked at his bad leg with a small sigh. It was going to be  _agonizing_.

"Anong binabalak mo?" He followed her gaze, as if figuring out what she wanted to do.

"Del Pilay ka ata ngayon or worse. Kaya mo bang lumipat sa shotgun seat? Ako na magmamaneho - masusundan natin sila." She tried to sound as confident as she could.

Julio groaned. With great effort, he managed to slide over to the next seat, freeing the driver's spot for her. She mumbled a quick apology as she threw the battered door open and slipped in, revving up the engine. She really had to renew her license soon.

He shifted to a more comfortable position with a groan. "Hinay hinay ka, ayokong maaresto."

"Shh, marunong pa naman ako." She gave him a confident wink as she eased the car into the road. "Subukan mo paring tawagan yung iba, baka may sumagot na."

**Tuesday, 07-12-16, 3:10 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Goyong made it home in record time, intending to surprise Jay with some sweets he bought during breaktime. He was feeling quite excited about it but something felt wrong the moment he stepped off the tricycle. It didn't help that Vince and Addie were the only people he saw indoors, talking quietly in the kitchen.

"Nasaan si Jay?" he demanded, the feeling of foreboding rising as he pulled out his phone, which ran out of battery earlier that day.

Vince shifted uncomfortably. "Nasa sala lang siya kanina," he squeaked.

"Well, wala na siya ngayon." Goyong grabbed the nearest charger lying around and plugged in the phone, uttering a silent prayer to whichever spirit was watching over him.  _Sana ayos lang siya._

"I'm sorry, Goyong, hindi namin siya napansin na umalis," Addie said in a small voice.

His stomach dropped at the sight of missed calls from Jay and _Julio._ Something was definitely wrong. "Wala na din naman tayong magagawa. Nasobrahan ata kayo diyan sa lampungan niyo at di niyo napansin yung nangyayari sa paligid. I expected better, lalo na't matatalinong mga bata kayo!"

"Ganun na nga, 'Tay," Vince said miserably. "Sorry."

"Konting, uh, hinay naman sa susunod, tangina." Goyong jumped as his phone rang, answering it immediately.

"Bro!" Julio's voice sounded so  _relieved._ "Sa wakas sumagot ka din!"

"Akin na, akong kakausap sa kanya," Jay said from the other line.

Something was definitely up. "May problema ba?" Goyong asked.

"Nandito kami sa Sitio Mangga. Kinuha ng anino ni Aguinaldo si Marge at susubukan namin siyang iligtas," she said calmly. "Long story, pero wala kasing sumasagot sa inyo kanina."

"Pasensya na." He winced, remembering his own words just a few minutes ago.  _Wala na rin naman tayong magagawa._ "Pupunta ako diyan. Gawin niyo na ang kailangan niyong gawin pero Dios mio  _patatas,_ mag-iingat kayo!"

"Will do, Heneral!" Jay said cheerily. "Nandito kami nakapark sa may chapel. Iiwan ko dito si Kuya Julio since del Pilay siya ngayon. Bilisan mo, ha?"

"Oo, pangako." She needn't have asked him to hurry. If he could, he would have been there at the speed of light.


	19. Weightless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay gets kidnapped

_Tarlac would never be a home to her. Her husband, Miguel, was anything but kind. He was away looking after his lands and fields in the day - and if the rumors were true, he spent his afternoons bedding different women. He beat Poleng and forced himself upon her every night, even when her health was not at its best. She did not weep or struggle or scream. She had learned from her parents that it would do her no good and would simply fuel their rage. All she did was stare with scorn in her eyes, letting him see and feel the ice and steel that she was now made of._

_She found solace in two things. First was the fact that Totillo had come with her to work on Miguel's garden. It was the only thing Poleng was able to request from her parents, and she was glad that for once in their life, they actually agreed to something she asked from them. Second was the fact that Miguel had two children from a former affair - two year old Rafael and one year old Lucia - were very sweet to her, and she had come to consider them her own. She had quickly learned that Miguel was a neglectful father to them and so she took it upon herself to care for the poor children._

_Totillo always watched her in the morning, unable to utter a word. His eyes said it all - he loved her like Goyong did, and he failed her._

**Tuesday, 07-12-16, 3:15 PM, Sitio Mangga**

Killing the car engine, Jay patted herself to make sure that all her hidden knives were in place - including the special knife that could kill a doppleganger. After all the training she had gone through, it was so easy to sense the magic thrumming in the knife. "Kuya, abangan mo na lang si Goyong, ha?" she said, placing her phone on the dashboard.

Julio winced, nodding. "Pasensya na ulit."

"Ang kulit mo din, wala yun!" She smiled and hopped out of the car, eyes roaming around the area.

Marge and the doppleganger left only one clear trail, and she sure as hell would follow it. It was most probably a trap and she knew it, but there was no other choice. She couldn't just let anyone else be endangered because of Dolores' grudge. She went past one street of abandoned, crumbling houses after another, the midafternoon breeze playing with her braided hair. She followed the trail that led to a broken down fence and steeled herself. She was no heroine, was too ugly and unskilled to be one, but someone had to do it.

She stepped over the remnants of the fence, holding the spark around her, preparing to defend herself from an attack.

"Nakatakas siya!" a deep, growling voice could be heard from within.

 _What?_ Freezing in place, she felt her entire body go cold.

"Alam kong nakatakas siya! Hanapin mo, dali! Hindi pupunta dito ang ate niya kung wala naman siya." That was voice definitely belonged to Goyong's doppleganger. There was an odd flicker in the air, as if someone was using magic.

Jay took a deep breath and prepared to leave when the door flew open. Goyong's doppleganger was standing in front of her, a dark smile on his face. There was nothing to do but prepare herself for a fight. Her powers seemed so willing to cooperate with her against the  _dark,_ unnatural creature in front of her that had twisted her lover's face in such an inhuman way. She stiffled her rage, though. She might end up blowing up the entire area if she wasn't careful.

"Nasaan ang  _kapatid_ ko?" she asked, struggling against her powers and her temper.

The doppleganger grinned, flashing his perfect, white teeth. "Tiyak akong narinig mo kami ng aking kasama. Hinahanap na niya ang kapatid mo sa oras na ito ngunit hindi na pala kailangan. Nandito ka na,  _Poleng_."

Hearing him call her  _Poleng_ in the real Goyong's voice made it even harder to stop herself from flying into a rage. She could feel her tips warming up, waiting for her to hurl fire at her foe.  _"Hindi_ ako si Poleng. Ako si Jay." Whipping out a knife, she threw it right at his face.

He knocked it off with a swipe of his hand and lunged at her with a growl. She ducked, setting her hands on fire and grabbing his arm. Uttering a quick curse, he threw her off nigh effortlessly, sending her slamming on the hard dirt ground. All the breath rushed out of her body as her chest erupted in unmentionable pain. She neither yelped nor cried out. Instead, she unleashed a torrent of flames upon his face. Her body went cold when she saw him dispel her powers with a flick of his hand. The spark in her faltered and pattered out, refusing to surface once more. Her powers were not yet strong enough to affect a creature made by a witch as old as Dolores, it seemed.

The doppleganger suddenly moved as fast as lightning, grabbing her by the neck and slamming her by the ground yet again. She kicked and struggled as his eyes seemed to glow a hazy gray. His visage seemed to shift between his and Dolores' as the pain in her chest reached a new crescendo. She kicked and struggled, pushing him away, her breath slowly being constricted. He aimed a powerful blow on her chest that sent a sudden jolt down her entire body before she suddenly blacked out from whatever magic Dolores wove through him.

**Tuesday, 07-12-16, 6:00 PM, Tarlac, Tarlac**

Her head hurt. Her chest hurt. Her back hurt. She felt bruised and battered all over when she finally regained consciousness in a dark, unfamiliar room. She was sitting on an old, wooden chair, her arms and legs bound in a more than  _uncomfortable_ way. A wad of foul tasting cloth was stuffed into her mouth and bound in place by duct tape. The only source of light was a small bedside lamp standing haphazardly by an open window, flickering every now and then to remind her that she could be bathed in absolute darkness at any moment.

She was alive and whole, though, which was of course a good thing.

 _Kailangan kong makalabas dito._ She tried to access her spark, and it dawned upon her that she  _can't_. After getting so used to it in the past few weeks, not being able to use it felt like a crushing blow. Escaping her bindings would have been as easy as a flick of the wrist.

She closed her eyes, wondering if she could contact the fragment of the sun residing in her. It quickly enveloped her in a warmth not unlike that of her spark's, and yet she still felt its distance. She could see the distorted image of herself yet again in her mind's eye, taunting her, leering. There were no words said, but she knew what it meant. She couldn't properly access her powers until she faced the dark side of  _herself_. It was why Goyong's doppleganger was able to overpower her magic so easily. It was why she was completely closed off to her powers now. As much as she wanted to though, it felt like she wasn't ready for it yet.

She had to think of another way to get out.

**Wednesday, 07-13-16, 6:00 AM, Tarlac, Tarlac**

She had two more days left before the curse ate her.

She spent the entire night alone, trying and failing to come up with a plan to break out. She was tired and sore, but she had to keep her wits about her - especially as her abductor finally decided to keep her company.

Goyong's doppleganger leered at her, the pale early morning sunlight making his dark clothes look more sinister. 

He leaned forward to remove her gag in an almost loving, reverent way. "Pasensya na't hindi kita nasamahan kagabi," he said in his oily voice that made her shudder. She hated him. She hated him so much that she wanted to destroy him until not even his dust and ashes remained.

"Anong kailangan mo sa akin? Ginagamit mo ba ako para makuha si Goyong?" Jay watched him warily, feeling no fear in any inch of her body. She was anger, she was fire, she was the scorching summer sun. "Bakit hindi ka makasagot, anino?"

"Dahil hindi si Goyong ang kailangan ko. Ikaw." He smirked at her, baring his white teeth threateningly. "Nasaan ang libingan ni Poleng?"

"Hindi ko alam." She wasn't lying, at least, which was a good thing. She eyed the black bladed knife that he was clutching, wondering if she could somehow wrest it away from him.

He slapped her sharply, sending memories of her abusive mother surfacing to the fringes of her head.  "Sinungaling. Alam naming pumunta na kayo dito sa Tarlac noong isang araw."

Jay threw her head back and laughed. "Gago pala kayo eh. Hindi kami pumunta dito para hanapin yung libingan ko - este ni Poleng." Jay was Jay, Poleng was Poleng. She had to keep reminding herself that.

The doppleganger's eyes flashed in rage. He shifted and was about to send his knife plunging into her arm when a moment of clarity hit her. She shifted ever so slightly and the knife struck her bindings, freeing one of her arms and taking him by surprise.

"Thanks,  _bitch,_ " she chirped, aiming a punch at his stunned face.

Before he could recover, she grabbed the knife and used its absurdly sharp blade to undo the bindings on her arms and legs. She saw him about to hit her and struck back, feeling the spark return to momentarily give her a burst of strength. She aimed a kick at his face that sent him flying into a wall. Before he could recover, she ran off, not even bothering to do anything to soothe her aching muscles first.

**Wednesday, 07-13-16, 7:00 AM, Tarlac, Tarlac**

Sore and broke and unarmed, Jay stumbled into the city proper, recognizing the place. She was in  _Tarlac,_ just a few minutes' drive away from Celeste's house. A sense of hope filled her as she realized this, knowing that she finally had a place to run to.

She entered a nearby Jollibee outlet - whuch was thankfully devoid of customers - to clean herself up. She couldn't walk around much further without drawing attention to herself, which was a bad thing. She washed off the dust and grime from her face and sorted out the clumps in her hair the best that she could before straightening her ruffled and crinkled clothes. She looked barely passable but it had to do.

Stepping out of the restroom, she took a deep breath to steel herself. It was going to be quite a long walk to Celeste's. Her body was exhausted, battered, sleepless, but she had to endure.

That was when she saw a familiar face sitting in a corner a cup of coffee in hand and eyes trained on her face. It was a face she vaguely remembered from her past life, always bringing a wave of guilt and gratitude welling up within her. He was younger than her now, maybe in his late teens, his curly hair wilder, complimenting his elfin features. Their eyes locked with each other, as if comprehending what they were seeing.

Totillo Mamucud definitely recognized the woman he was staring at. "Poleng?" 


	20. Nakauwi Na

_Days blurred into weeks. Weeks blurred into months. Months blurred into three years, going on four. It was always the same cycle, with Miguel womanizing and looking after his lands in the morning while she cared for his children, and forcing himself upon her once everyone had settled in for the night. She rarely had news of the changing times, brought to her by Totillo whenever he ran errands in town._

_Americans were marching north, not far from Tarlac, and Poleng feared that they would pass by their lands._

_Visitors were rare, but a couple of them arrived on a rainy day. Poleng's stomach flipped when she saw her false husband walk unhappily toward the front door with a pair of strangers. One of them looked like her real husband, Goyong, but the mischievous look on his face told her that it wasn't him. The other woman rattled her, though. It was like looking into a mirror and seeing herself healthier, happier._

_"Mabuti at nandito ka," Miguel said nonchalantly as they marched into the living room where she was embroidering a skirt. "May mga panauhin tayo."_

_Poleng bit back a cold retort, simply inclining her head in response. Miguel did not notice, as he was leading the man who looked so much like Goyong toward his study, leaving her with the woman._

_"Ikaw ang asawa ni Miguel, hindi ba?" the stranger asked politely._

_"Yun ang... bansag nila sa akin. Tawagin mo na lamang akong Poleng." She watched the newcomer with a twinge of pain in her chest._

_"Ako si Celeste. Asawa ko si Paulo, ang kausap ng asawa mo." the woman continued. Her eyes flickered to the fading bruise on Poleng's cheek, the visible welts on her wrist. A look of horror dawned upon her lovely face. "Sinasaktan ka ba niya?"_

_Poleng nodded. "Kahit kapag hindi ako umiimik."_

_"May galit din si Paulo sakanya ngunit ayaw niyang sabihin sa akin kung bakit. Nandito ang asawa ko upang hikayatin kayong umalis kahit sa panandalian lamang. Tumanggi man siya o hindi, hindi ako magdadalawang isip na sumama ka, mailayo ka lamang sa lalakeng iyan." Celeste's voice was still pleasantly sweet, but there was an undercurrent of rage that was hard to miss._

_Poleng felt herself tear up at the stranger's kindness, but she couldn't impose on them - not when she couldn't leave without Totillo and Miguel's children. "Salamat ngunit... may mga tungkulin ako dito na hindi maaaring iwan."_

_Celeste seemed to understand, at least, though there was a heaviness in her voice when they shifted to more trivial conversation. It wasn't long until the man named Paulo stormed out of Miguel's study, eyes narrowed._

_"Aalis na tayo, Mahal. Hindi parin matinong kausap itong si Ginoong Santos," he growled._

_Celeste gave his hand a squeeze and leaned over to whisper something in his ear. The two of them paused before she glanced at Poleng apologetically. "Pasensya na at... hindi kita natulungan, Poleng."_

_"Wala iyon. Pagpalain kayo ng Diyos," she said, watching them leave with a heavy heart. Eerie resemblances aside, they really made her think of how it would have been if she was spending her life with Goyong instead of her monster of a false husband._

**Wednesday, 07-13-16, 7:00 AM, Tarlac, Tarlac**

"Poleng?" The name burst out of Totillo's mouth, as if unbidden, sending twinges of nostalgia and guilt down Jay's gut.  _Shut up, Poleng._ He took a step toward her, as if trying to comprehend what he was seeing.

She held her ground, back straight, fists clenched. "Hi, _Totillo_. Patay na si Poleng. Ako na si  _Jay_ ngayon."

Tears welled up in his round eyes as his lip wobbled, but he steeled himself. He motioned towards her obviously frazzled appearance. "Just call me Ilo. Ayos ka lang ba?"

"Medyo, um, nagkaroon lang ng konting trouble." She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, amused over the fact that she still sounded quite  _conversational_. She rubbed her wrists, aware that they were chaffed. "Pero otherwise, I'm in one piece naman."

"Good to hear!" Totillo - no, just Ilo - smiled and hefted his backpack. "Anyway, it was nice meeting you kahit na medyo biglaan. Mauuna na ako ah?"

A flash of inspiration struck Jay. Poleng was always abe to rely on Totillo, after all. "Teka,  _kid,_ dadaan ka ba sa may Blossomville? Kailangan ko kasing makapunta doon." she asked. She had to get to Celeste before Goyong's doppleganger caught up to her.

He nodded with a smile. "Hindi ako diretsong dadaan doon pero di naman gaanong malayo sa pupuntahan ko. Sige, ihahatid na kita."

**Wednesday, 07-13-16, 8:15 AM, Tarlac, Tarlac**

Jay was almost driven to tears when Ilo opted to buy her breakfast before driving her to Celeste's home, exchanging phone numbers along the way so they could catch up soon.

"Isang tanong nalang," she said as they parked right outside the gate. Her ailing heart thudded as she gazed at the boy who used to be her ally and protector.  _You never failed Poleng, ano?_ Her memories were still frustratingly  _fractured_ and yet she felt like the pieces would be coming together soon.

"Ano yun?" Ilo stared at her anxiously. "Tungkol ba ito sa libingan mo - este ni Poleng?"

She grinned. "Mind reader ka ba?"

"Hindi naman sa ganoon pero... expected na din. I mean, kaibigan niyo yung kumuha dun sa Journal nung May, hindi ba?" He didn't wait for her confirmation and plowed on. "Nagiba na yung landscape ng Tarlac pero... sigurado akong dito banda yun. I'd like to help you, pero may kailangan kasi akong puntahan sa Pangasinan para sa school project. Sorry."

"Ayos lang." She smiled and took his hand, giving it a squeeze. "You've done so much for me at para kay Poleng. Gora lang."

Bidding each other farewell, she slipped out of the car and took a deep breath. She was about to fumble with the buzzer by the gate as Ilo drove off when she saw Celeste step out of the house. She did a little jump when she saw Jay and rushed toward the gate, throwing it open.

"Jay? Anyare?" she asked, stepping out. "May nakita kasi akong sasakyan sa labas, eh wala naman ata kaming bisita ngayon - nasa Ilocos pa si Ploo. Nasa La Union sina Nanay at Kuya Adong hanggang next week."

"Seryoso ata talagang _Ploo_ ang palayaw ng boyfriend mo, ano?" Jay winced as she felt her head spin from exhaustion and lack of sleep. She felt herself sway slightly and had to struggle to keep herself on her feet. "Mas maganda siguro kung sa loob tayo mag-usap. Medyo mahaba haba itong topic na ito."

"Ba't di mo tanungin nanay niya?" Celeste retorted with a laugh as she ushered her inside.

**Wednesday, 07-13-16, 9:30 AM, Tarlac, Tarlac**

She told Celeste  _everything_ over some coffee and toast. She didn't even notice that she was inhaling so much food - she really was still hungry even after her breakfast. She talked about Goyong's arrival in Angeles, her fragmented memories, and Dolores. There was so much to talk about while she struggled with her sleep deprived thoughts. She hoped, at least, that Celeste got the gist by the time she finished.

"Speaking of past life at supernatural whatever, mamaya na natin idiscuss ang nakuha kong deets tungkol sa libingan ni Poleng dahil mahabang usapan yun. Mukhang magcocollapse ka na," Celeste murmured after cleaning up the living room table. "Halika, pahinga ka muna - pero teka, may nakalimutan ka ata. Di mo pa ata sinasabi sa mga kasama mo na nandito ka."

Jay blinked,  _buffering._ "Holy fuck, hindi pa nga! Pwede bang makitawag?"

Celeste grinned and whipped out the phone from her pocket. "Enjoy."

"Kingina pati model ng phone pareho tayo." Jay's hands were on autopilot, dialling the number she had at the top of her head,  _praying_ that he would pick up.

"Hello?" Goyong's voice sounded as exhausted as she felt, but hearing it made her heart soar.

"Henerahhhl!" She could feel a tired yet goofy smile form on her face. "I'm sorry, bigla nalang akong lumubog. Nasaan kayo?"

"Nagiikot dito sa Tarlac." Goyong yawned loudly. "Halos magkasunod lang kami ni Marge na nakarating kay Julio, pero nang hanapin ka namin, nawawala ka na. Sinaman namin yung mga ibang kasama mong nagsasanay sa pagiging babaylan para sundan yung um...  _trace_ ng anino ko. Medyo nag-ikot ikot ata siya sa Tarlac kaya hindi namin mahanap yung eksaktong lugar, lalo na't dumidilim na noon. Pero teka, kamusta ka? Ligtas ka na ba?"

She chuckled at that. "Ligtas na ligtas. Nandito ako sa bahay nina Celeste pero um... magpapahinga muna ako ng konti, ha? Hindi ako natulog ng maayos kagabi."

He let out a sigh of relief. "Mabuti, mabuti. Jay, nag-alala ako ng husto sa iyo kahit na alam kong kaya mong alagaan ang sarili mo."

"Pasensya na." She was reckless, she knew, and it almost got her in big trouble again. She hated having to worry everyone too. "Susubukan kong hindi na maulit."

"Sige, magpahinga ka na. Pupunta na kami diyan. Mahal kita, Jay." His voice trailed off, leaving a blanket of warmth over her body.

 _"Kaluguran daka rin." Mahal din kita._ She smiled and ended the call. Two days. She only had two days left before the curse took her and yet there she was, being drawn closer and closer to Poleng's grave. It probably meant something.

**Wednesday, 07-13-16, 4:30 PM, Tarlac, Tarlac**

She drifted in and out of consciousness the entire day, her body both tired and on edge to get some proper sleep in one of the spare bedrooms upstairs. She was vaguely aware of Goyong joining her at one point, his arm wrapping around her waist, his warmth letting her know that she was safe for the meantime, that they were at _home_ with each other.

Darkness was settling into the room when she finally woke up, stomach rumbling. Goyong was lying beside her, arms still around her waist, a small, content smile playing on his lips. "Masarap ba ang tulog mo?"

"Kasing sarap mo," she replied with a mischievous grin.

Redness colored his cheeks, but his grin widened. "Nagugutom ka na ba?"

"Uhaw din."  _Gago mo, Jay!_ She let him sit her up, groaning as she felt her sore muscles complain.

She did not complain when he led her out of the room and into the little kitchen that was actually quite crowded. Around the table were Joven, the twins, Marge, and Tina. The latter two leapt to their feet and threw their arms around her tightly.

Tina ruffled her hair with a huff. " _Gago,_ wag mo nang uulitin yun!"

"Natakot ako para sayo," Marge confessed. "Lalo na baka gamitin nung mga anino yung fact na may sumpa ka  _at_ na ikaw nalang yung hindi nagcoconfront sa sarili mo."

Jay shuddered, remembering that distorted image of her just lurking at the edges of her mind's eye. "Pasensya na. Di na mauulit on purpose."

 _"On purpose_ pala, ha?" Joven clucked his tongue as he enveloped her in a quick, tight hug.

Jay grinned. "Trouble likes me, Kuya."

"Halata nga." Julio gave her a light punch om the shoulder. "Parang aatakihin ako kahapon nung walang tao sa hideout na tinuro ni Marge."

"Hindi nga nila ako tinigilan ng tawag para sundan namin kayo. Tangina Jay, wag mo nga talagang uulitin yun kung ayaw mong mapalo!" Julian added with a sigh.

Jay smiled, feeling  _loved_ by everyone. She leaned against Goyong, still feeling exhausted over her ordeal, and let her lead her to an empty chair. "Guys, mahal na mahal ko din kayo, promise."

Celeste stepped out of the dining room carrying a tray full of snacks for them. She was so motherly and kind that Jay felt herself tearing up all over again. She never did know what it was like to have a proper mother, after all.

"I promised na paguusapan natin si Poleng ngayon," she began. "Napagusapan na din naman natin yung reincarnation... I met her nang 1899."

Goyong stiffened beside Jay, his hand clutching her thigh tightly. "Nagkita din tayo nang 1899 at sinabi mo'y hindi kayo magkakilala."

"Hindi pa kami magkakilala noon, malamang." Celeste rolled her eyes and rubbed her baby bump. "I met her after mga isang buwan siguro. Itong kinatatayuan ng subdividion, lupain ito dati ng asawa niya."

So Poleng  _did_ get married to someone else, it seemed.

"Sinasaktan siya ng asawa niya at niyaya ko siyang sumama sa amin ng asawa ko sa paglikas ng Tarlac pero humindi siya. May mga...  _responsibilities_ daw." Celeste didn't seem so happy with it. "Patay na silang lahat nang bumalik kami. Binili ng asawa ko yung lupain niya, at hanggang ngayon pagaari parin ng mga descendants yung subdivision na ito. Nasa maliit na gubat sa likuran yung libingan niya pero sa local na sementeryo nakalibing yung asawa niya. Hindi ginalaw yun as a sign of  _respect._ "

"So pupunta ba tayo doon?" Jay asked.

She nodded with a smile. "Oo, pero magpahinga ka na muna ngayong gabi. May kakaiba kasi akong nararamdaman sa gubat so baka mas  _safe_ kung sa umaga tayo pumunta doon."

Jay's hand curled around Goyong, feeling herself tremble. They just had to survive the night, and they would start seeking out  __answers in the morning. _Konting hintay nalang, Poleng. Makikilala na kita ng tunay._


	21. Perfect

_Her dreams were haunted every night by Paulo and Celeste, and the offer of freedom. It seemed like she always declined the offers of freedom she recieved - first from Goyong, then from Celeste. She had pushed away Goyong, hurt him so much, just to keep him alive. She had refused Celeste's offer because she couldn't run away to safety and leave the people she cared for. It just wasn't fair - like the rest of her life was._

_As Miguel forced himself upon her that night, she stared him down, putting the years of hatred and disgust she held for him in that one gaze. She felt powerful for the first time that night, knowing that she could have been rid of him for good, could have found a semblance of happiness, if it weren't for the fact that she loved the people in his household - the children that he mostly neglected and the servant who was more like a brother to her._

_The love she had for them would make her endure the way that the love she had for Goyong did._

**Wednesday, 07-13-16, 10:45 PM, Tarlac, Tarlac**

Jay couldn't sleep - not now that they were so close to the grave, not when her new and old lives were about to collide in a bigger manner that meeting Goyong and being reincarnated as Joven's sister could never be. Every fiber of her being seemed to teeter between excitement and anxiety, threatening to burn her up. Sitting on her spot in the living room, watching the rest of the team sleep, was going to be the closest that she could get to rest that night. Even Goyong was a bundle of exhaustion curled up beside her, nuzzling her hip every now and then.

She leaned against the wall, closing her eyes. She tried to call upon her spark yet again, feeling the sparks of disappointment threaten to turn into the wildest flames as the power remained oh so comfortably out of reach. The image of her distorted reflection taunted her yet again, beautiful and vile at the same time, orange hair flickering like the vestiges of great flames. It wasn't time yet, she didn't have the strength or the courage to face her own personal demons, unsure if she would even prevail against herself. She was all bravado and she knew it. She needed true courage, true strength.

**Thursday, 07-14-16, 8:00 AM, Tarlac, Tarlac**

She felt her stomach roil as the smell of breakfast suffused through the cozy little house. They were gathered around the solid wood dining table as Celeste set down plates of food, a smile on her pretty face. The entire room seemed to be charged with excitement as they would finally be going to Poleng's grave. Jay smoothed down the clothes that Celeste loaned her for the day, wondering if Dolores or her minions would find another way to cause trouble for them. She hoped not.

"Sana walang masamang mangyari habang papunta tayo sa libingan ni Poleng," she blurted out.

"Sana nga." Goyong set down his mug of coffee, ruffling her hair lightly. Her anxiety was reflected in his brown eyes, which was comforting.  _At least hindi lang kagaguhan itong nerbyos na ito._ He whipped out something from his backpack - Jay's knife, the special one that can properly harm the dopplegangers. "Nakita namin ito sa Mangga nung nawala ka. Maganda na ring maging handa."

Joven nodded. "Maganda siguro kong may mga ibang maiiwan dito para mag-observe, just in case lang na may mangyaring kakaiba."

Julio's eyes swept over their group, doing a quick count. He had discarded the absentminded air that he usually had, transforming subtly into someone more serious. It was so easy to forget that he used to be a general too. "Ayan naman pala, saktong walo tayo. May apat na pupunta sa libingan at apat na maiiwan muna dito."

"Pwede," agreed Goyong. "Sasama ako kay Jay at Celeste."

"Ako din." Joven leaned forward, eyeing them all. "Namatay ako noon sa kalagitnaan ng paghahanap ng sagot. Gusto kong makita yung endgame."

**Thursday, 07-14-16, 9:00 AM, Tarlac, Tarlac**

They set off into the woods behind the subdivision. The sight of the towering trees sent shudders down Jay's spine when she realized that they were  _familiar._ It was the place where she always met Poleng in her dreams.

"Mga dalawang oras na hike lang siya magmula dito," Celeste said. "Hindi naman ganoon kalaki yung undeveloped land."

Joven let out a small sigh. "Dalawang oras? Almost as bad as that Arayat hike, ano?"

"Kuya, wag naman ganyan! Masaya naman yung ganito." Jay was never exactly a nature lover, but it wasn't hard to appreciate it when it was all around her. Despite the fact that it's burning powers were beyond her reach for the meantime, she was still one with the sun, and it was  _everywhere,_ even beneath the leafy canopy that concealed it and its light to everyone.

"Medyo mahabang lakaran parin yan - mabuti nang umpisahan natin," Goyong said.

They set off along the small, scratchy trail that faded and disappeared every now and then. Celeste led them on, surprisingly deft and agile despite the fact that she was already quite well into her pregnancy. They were quiet for a while, their footfalls and the sounds of the forest itself providing the only background music to their hike. An odd sort of tingle formed in Jay's gut as they walked on, biding her to keep moving forward, one foot in front of the other.

**Thursday, 07-14-16, 11:30 AM, Tarlac, Tarlac**

They made it to a clearing that Jay recognized with a sudden jolt through her spine. It was the clearing itself where she held conversations with Poleng. _Fuckitty fuck. Kaya pala._ It almost felt like Poleng herself was laughing in her head, whispering her congratulations. She was shaking, and she knew it. Every bit of her felt like it was on the verge of exploding or burning up, unable to properly express what she was feeling at the moment. She walked past the cluster of rosebushes strewn around the clearing and to the very center, feeling close - oh so close - to collapsing into a sobbing heap. Images seemed to play in her head, images of Poleng's life began to play out in her head like snapshots from an old film, but with enough clarity to make her believe that she had lived through it all.

Because she did.

Everything about her was afire as she gazed upon the faded block of rock that served as the gravestone, where the name  _Paulina Julietta del Pilar y Hernando_ was etched in fading letters. "Fuckitty fuck." She could feel her breath hitching, her chest aching, her eyes stinging as she processed what that meant.  _Del Pilar y fucking Hernando. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._ The memories kept coming, flooding her, overwhelming her. She could hear Goyong say something behind her but she couldn't understand a word.

She was so close to her breaking point as Poleng's bloody death played out in her head, followed by a sudden darkness. She was still staring at the epitaph, just a few seconds away from falling on her knees, when she saw Poleng standing in front of her in her mind's eye.

_"Pasensya na, Jay," she said with a mischievous smile. In a flash, her stance changed from the meek and sweet girl that Jay knew, to someone who mirrored her current incarnation almost perfectly. She raised her hand, balled it into a fist, and punched Jay, sending her tumbling into unconsciousness._

**Thursday, 07-14-16, 10:30 PM, Tarlac, Tarlac**

She woke up in silence. Her head hurt from all the jumble of memories that it now held. Jay felt herself tremble at the thought of everything Poleng went through, forming a newfound respect for the girl she used to be.

She could see two people in her mind's eye - Poleng and the woman who represented her inner demons. They were both waiting for her next move.

The door to the guest room creaked open and Joven stepped in, eyes wide and glasses askew. "Buti nalang at gising ka na," he said, a hand brushing over her forehead. "Kamusta ang pakiramdam mo?"

Only a squeak escaped her lips. She didn't feel fine, and it wasn't just because of the fact that she spent the entire day sleeping. Old memories mixed and mingled with her new ones, making her head hurt. "Kailangan kong bumalik sa libingan ni Poleng."

"Gabi na," Joven argued. "Hintayin mo na bukas ng umaga. Delikado na ah."

"Alam ko pero..." She could feel them waiting. She had to go back.

She filtered out Joven's response, scrambling to get a jacket since it was going to be cold outside. She could feel the spark in her, which was good. She needed light. Next thing she knew, her brother grabbed her wrist as she was reaching out for the dagger on the bedside cabinet.

"Jay, wag." He eyed her grimly. "A few more hours won't hurt naman, diba?"

"I'm sorry, Kuya. They will." She could see them waiting for her back in the grave, waiting for her to return. It couldn't wait. Raising her free hand and balling it into a fist, she punched Joven in the face, knocking him out.

_ I’m very sorry, Kuya. _ She had to do it - the feeling of urgency was there. She was sure that it wasn’t just an act of recklessness this time. Grabbing the knife and pulling on her boots, she threw the panel windows open, preparing to leap out onto the small balcony. She looked back, knowing that the others would worry about her - especially Goyong. They haven’t even processed what happened in the grave, after all.

She swallowed down the guilt and grabbed her phone too. At least she could assure them that she was fine.

The drop to the balcony wasn’t that steep, to her relief, and there was an emergency ladder that she could use to get down to the garden. Poleng was urging her to hurry up, sending anxious jolts in her head, and Jay wasn’t exactly the type to shut her up. She reached out to the small bit of her spark that was calling out to her, using it to set her hand aglow.

_ Kapag ako napahamak dito, lagot ka sa akin, Poleng. _

**Friday, 07-15-15, 12:45 AM, Tarlac, Tarlac**

She made it in one piece, at least. The walking helped her sift through her newfound memories, her respect and sadness for Poleng rising with every step she took. Their personalities and upbringing were so different and yet they were the same down the core. They were women who would do what they could to protect the people they loved.

_ Jay is Jay at Poleng is Poleng pero Jay is Poleng is Jay din. _

It was the first time she acknowledged it- that she and Poleng were not so different after all. She was still herself and yet Poleng would always be a part of her, especially now that she had the full picture in her head. Jay was everything Poleng wished to be - and for a good reason. Her courage and recklessness would have probably been enough to save Poleng from a short life of grief. She was beautiful and brave, free and strong, like Poleng  _ should  _ have been.

She had grown to love Poleng - no,  _ herself -  _ a little more in the past two hours.

There it was again, the tugging feeling in her gut. She sat right in front of the epitaph, crossing her legs, looking at the name etched in there, hovering her glowing palm above it.  _ Paulina Julietta del Pilar y Hernando. _ It was the same name she would be taking soon, once she married Goyong.

_ She closed her eyes and pictured herself standing on the same spot, standing right in front of her other self. “Hindi natin kailangang maglaban,” she said quietly. _

_ “Hindi nga ba?” her other self asked with a jeering smile. _

_ She raised her hand and hurled a ball of sickly white fire at Jay, who used her own spark to turn it right back at her. _

_ “Hindi ko kalaban ang sarili ko.” Jay watched the flames dissipate around them, eyeing the knife that her foe whipped out. She finally understood so much, and she felt powerful. “Bagkus, niyayakap ko na ang buong pagkatao ko.” _

_ “Bakit mo yayakapin ang pagkatao mo? Mahina ka! Pangit! Mataba! Bobo!” Her other self gritted her teeth. Fashioning a knife out of fire, she lunged at Jay with startling ferocity. _

_ Jay parried with a fiery knife of her own, feeling no heat between her fingers. She felt powerful, fearless, beautiful like the sun and everything it stood for, was fiery and dangerous and wild, yet warm and loving and kind. _

_ As quick as the wind, she threw her arms around her other self, enveloping her in her warm embrace. “Niyayakap ko ang akong katapangan at lakas. Niyayakap ko ang aking kagandahan at kabutihan. Niyayakap ko ang init ng aking ulo, ang pagiging mapusok ko, an kakulangan ko ng kumpiyansa sa sarili.Hindi na ako natatakot sa mga pagkukulang ko.” She feared her demons no more. She was Jay, who was once Poleng, imperfect yet just right. And it was a good thing. She was fire. She was light. She was the sun. _

_ Her other self faded in motes of orange light. _


	22. The Phoenix

_It was raining when the Americans came, burning their farmlands and demanding for everyone in the household. It wasn't that far off from sunset, and she was busy tending to her stepchildren. She saw them from the living room where she was reading to them, saw them ride toward the front door with her false husband in tow. A quiet fear built up in her as she saw the flames in the distance. It didn't bode well._

_She took the children's hands as she stood up. She had to protect them, somehow. "Sumama kayo sa akin," she whispered, silencing her questions with a look. "Hindi ligtas dito."_

_She knew the house in and out already, knew of the underground passage that used to be boarded up. Only she and Totillo knew that it was open again, and that it led to the woods behind the area. It was the place Totillo used to get in and out of the house and Poleng knew she could have used it to escape if she really wanted to. They wouldn't have gone far before Miguel caught up with them though, and it was better not to risk it - especially since she would never leave without the children. Instead, it became her hiding place - her sanctuary where she could weep in peace after a rough night with Miguel._

_"Inay, anong gagawin mo?" Rafael asked quietly, solemn even for a child of six._

_"May mga paparating na Amerikano." She wrapped her arms around the two children, praying for their safety. "Huwag kayong aalis dito hangga't hindi ako bumabalik - o hangga't hindi dumarating si Totillo. Babalik din siya mamayang gabi, at sigurado akong alam niya kung paano siguraduhing ligtas kayo."_

_"P-Pero Inay..." whispered Lucia._

_"Siguraduhin niyong manatili kayong ligtas. Wag kayong magpapakita. Wag kayong gagawa ng ingay kahit na anong mangyari. Mahal ko kayo." Poleng pulled away from the children, fighting back the terror. She will keep the children safe until Totillo was home, even if she had to die trying._

_Summoning all the courage she had left, she turned and walked away, concealing the passage once again to face her husband and their - for lack of a better word - visitors._

**Friday, 07-15-15, 1:** **15 AM, Tarlac, Tarlac**

It took Jay a while to remember the other reason why she was looking for her grave.  _Tangina this naman._ She had asked Totillo to hide her real wedding ring back then, and it would make sense if he buried it with her. She didn't look forward to digging for her body, though.

She took a deep breath and let her spark flood into her. It felt different, more  _powerful._ She had finally reached the zenith of her powers.

Looking at the grave while holding on to her spark was quite an experience. It was as if a fellow  _babaylan_ was in the clearing with her, the power concentrated in one place. She could see it as a haze of red, like her own powers, leading to something buried underneath the ground.

Her stomach felt queasy at the thought of digging for her old body, though her spark reassured her that it would be fine. It was just going to be a pile of bones. Poleng wasn't there anymore.  _Nandito na siya. Nakatayo. Maghuhukay._

Digging would take some time, but she had her powers with her now. She was not associated with the earth or the woods, but she had enough of her basic training with her. Seizing a fallen tree branch, she infused it with her spark and struck the earth. She staggered back as the ground all but exploded, sending dirt flying everywhere.

_Fuck._

She peered at what she made - a small hole right beside the epitaph, still smoking lightly while a haze of dust swirled around it. An antique urn and a small wooden box were lying in the middle, in unbelievably good condition despite the passage of time. Eyes narrowed, she reached for the urn first and opened it.

All she saw was ashes. She was sure that she was seeing everything that remained of Poleng and grief welled up in her, threatening to choke her. She closed the urn and turned to the box. She could see the flecks of red energy steaming from it and knew that she finally found what she was looking for - Poleng's ring.

She knew what it looked like before she saw it - a band of plain, white, and rose gold braided together and forming a circular, delicate wedding ring. A wave of pain and guilt and regret struck, threatening to drown her.

 **Friday, 07-15-15, 1:4** **5 AM, Tarlac, Tarlac**

It took her a while to master her pain. By the time she did, she found herself staring at the ring yet again. It still teemed of power - power her instincts told her, which was gathered from Poleng's latent ability to channel magic. Every ounce of stored power in her probably transfered in the ring during her final moments.

She put it on and felt the power settle down, as if awaiting her orders. She felt indomitable, knowing that her powers increased twofold with the ring. No wonder Dolores wanted it.

She was about to release her spark, let it rest for the moment before she became power drunk, when she heard faint rustling. She turned, a hand fumbling for her knife.

Goyong's doppleganger emerged from the shadow of the trees, teeth gritted in rage. He stopped as he saw Jay. "Hindi ka na makakatakas muli! Nasaan ang singsing ni Poleng?"

Jay grinned, embracing her spark with new vigor. She would  _never_ be power drunk and she knew it. "Sorry, bhe. It's mine."

The doppleganger let out an outright inhuman howl and lunged at her, streaks of shadow - Dolores' magic - following him around. He was fast but not too much for a full fledged  _babaylan_ like her. She leapt away and retaliated with a burst of white hot fire.

He dodged just in time, though the blast left his hair singed and smoking. The darkness swirled around him and one of his black knives appeared.

 _Ganyan pala gusto mo ha?_ She whipped out her own knife and met him midstrike. She wasn't struggling to keep up with him, though the exertion made her chest ache.

The doppleganger yowled and his strikes began to increase in ferocity. Jay parried blow after blow, praying that she'd never lose focus. She siezed her spark again and struck with her flames, sending him reeling backwards into a tree from the impact. She advanced on him, preparing to finish him off.

He looked up, his body smoking but otherwise unburnt, his eerie dark eyes glinting malevolently as his smiled. He reached for her, touching her chest and sending a jolt of pain lancing through her heart and vaguely reminding her that she only had a little more than thirteen hours left.

She stepped back as he struck with his knife yet again. "Uulitin nalang ba natin yung sayaw, gago?" she asked with a taunting smile.

He roared and went for her throat. She dodged too late and felt it slice her skin ever the slightest, drawing pinpricks of blood. She felt her stomach heave from fear as she regained her bearings.  _Nyemas._ They traded more blows, keeping her too focused on the fight to conjure more flames.

"Ibigay mo lamang ang singsing at hindi na kita sasaktan," the doppleganger crooned. "Ito lamang ang kailangan ko."

"Wag ako, pakshet ka." Jay gritted her teeth as his knife almost struck her arm. She had to do something before he got in a lucky hit.

 _Bahala na nga._ Letting go of her focus and letting her body go on autopilot, she decided to make use of her spark. Summoning every bit of power she could from herself and her ring, imbibing herself with as much strength and speed as she could.

They both backed away, and Jay saw that the dark energy around him swirled. Their next attacks would be their best - she knew it. She had to prevail against him or else she would never stand the slightest chance against Dolores.

They both struck at the same time. Jay nearly let out a small yelp when her knife burst into flames, bright and white hot and more powerful than it looked like, feeding from her spark. All breath rushed out of her body when it buried itself right into the doppleganger's chest and his weapon met nothing but thin air.

Time seemed to stop for a while as the two of them stared at each other.

His cry of pain was cut short as he turned into black dust and smoke, letting her know that he was truly, absolutely dead.

 **Friday, 07-15-15, 2:00** **AM, Tarlac, Tarlac**

_She saw Poleng in her mind's eye, smiling._

_"Magkaiba tayo ngunit iisa, at sa tingin ko'y naiintindihan mo na. Hindi mo na ako kailangan," the latter whispered._

_"Ginawa ka lang ng isip ko dahil sa pagiging disconnected ko, hindi ba?" Jay asked._

_Poleng nodded. "Hindi na ako kailangan pa dahil - ah - naging isa na tayong muli. Pero bago pa ito tuluyang mangyari, maaari mo ba akong hayaang magising sa katawan mo sa huling pagkakataon?"_

_"Eh parang ichachannel ko lang naman yung past life ko. Go ahead." Jay held out her arms in welcome._

Her body felt the same yet different as her stance changed subtly. She was channeling Poleng and yet she was still Jay, confusing though it might be.

She didn't have much time left. Hefting her urn with one hand and taking her phone out in another, she started to head right back to Celeste's home.

Vince answered not long after she dialled his number. "'Nay? Oras na ah. May problema ba?"

"Si Poleng ito. Maari mo bang ayusin ang tawag para marinig din ako ni Adela?" Even her speech sounded so old fashioned yet Jay didn't feel put off by it.

"Naririnig namin pareho ito," Vince said warily.

She smiled. "Gusto ko lamang magpasalamat dahil inalagaan niyo si Goyong nang iwanan ko siya. Hindi ako magsasalita tungkol sa pagtutol ni Jay kay Adela dahil sa tingin ko'y tanggap na niya ito. Trabaho ni Jay ang pagusapan ito. Matulog na kayo."

"O-oo naman," Vince said, clearly startled as Adela murmured something in the background.

"Nauubos na ang oras ko. Pagpalain nawa kayong dalawa." She ended the call with a smile.

Another faint rustling could be heard as she plowed her way through the trail and she paused. She couldn't get into another fight - not when she needed to spare her energy for her true final act before she became one with Jay.

Goyong - the real one - came into her line of sight, flashlight in hand. Right behind him was Joven, who was clearly not amused, and Julian.

"Magandang gabi, mga ginoo," she chirped with a polite smile.

"Jay?" Joven whispered, clearly confused.

"Hindi. Parang may mali," Julian warned him. Oh yes, he was there the last time she took control in the police station.

"Ikaw si Poleng," said Goyong, stepping forward to give her a quick hug.

She nodded with a smile. "At ako rin din si Jay. Iisa lamang kami, Gregorio. Anino at aninag namin ang isa't isa."

"Anong nangyayari? Ikaw ba yung sumuntok sa akin kanina?" Joven asked angrily.

"Hindi. Si Jay iyon - ngunit patawarin mo siya," she told him. "Tinawag ko siya rito dahil mahalaga na makuha niya ang singsing ko bago ang anino ni Goyong - at na maging isang ganap na babaylan siya bago magyari iyon upang magamit ang kapangyarihan na nakulob at natulog dito."

Julian frowned. "So, um, ngayon sinasaniban mo si Jay?"

Goyong looked at her again, watching her set down the urn and brace herself. "Parang hindi. Dahil isang tao lang kayo, hindi ba?"

"Tama. May mga ala ala akong kailangang ibalik sa aking dating asawa." She began embracing her spark, feeling their concern and varying forms of affection, varying from romantic to brotherly. It felt like she was going to combust from her fire and be blinded from her light.

She leaned forward to kiss Goyong as her energy rushed out of her body and into his, returning memories that his ressurection erased. She could feel herself fading and strengthening as she became truly one with Jay - or was it Poleng - feeling complete and whole.

Her body spent from all the display of powerful magic she had done in the past hour, she lurched forward and embraced sweet unconsciousness again.


	23. Your Guardian Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay succumbs to her curse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning sa flashback po

_Poleng approached the living room as Miguel whispered something to one of their guests, who then turned to the rest of the Americans and started talking in their unfamiliar tongue. With a leer on their faces, two of the younger soldiers restrained Miguel while another one grabbed Poleng and pushed her to the floor._

_She knew what was coming even before they tore her clothes off and forced themselves on her like her husband did every night._

_She was ice and steel - and both could break. Years of fear and regret and repression finally caught up to her, like a dam that was slowly being overrun by a torrent of water, of pillars succumbing to waves of fire. She began to scream and struggle, her mind a mess, nothing but a multitude of emotions and sensations. She was breaking, no, she was broken, and she didn't give a damn anymore. Her screams rent the air as she begged for them to stop, begged for a man she thought she had forgotten to rescue her._

_Goyong. Goyong. Goyong. His nickname was still fresh in her lips when they finished with her and shot her through the neck to stop the racket she was making. The burning pain and the feel of blood choking her neck and the dying sound in her throat preceeded the sweet, sweet darkness._

**Friday, 07-15-15, 8:00** **AM, Tarlac, Tarlac**

Her head ached and buzzed when she finally woke up for good, her past memories still weighing heavily on her mind. She was sprawled on the guest room bed yet again, her back to Goyong, his arms around her waist.

"Gising ka na talaga siguro, ano?" he asked.

"Gising na gising." She rolled over to face him, alarmed to see the bags under his eyes. It seemed like he spent a sleepless night, mulling over the fragments of memories that she returned.

He grinned and pulled her closer, trembling. "Ang hirap paring  _paniwalaan_ pero totoong nangyari ang lahat ng iyon, hindi ba? Pero..." He let out a groan, unable to find the right words to articulate what was on his mind.

She patted his cheek. "No worries, bhe. Nandito parin tayo. Buhay pa. Lumalaban."

"Akinse na ngayon," he whispered, looking every bit like the  _boy_ he was touted as. "Yung sumpa mo..."

"Hindi ako magpapatalo diyan," she told him with as much confidence and bravado as she could muster. Her heart skipped painfully, as if to mock her.  _Magtigil ka nga!_

Goyong shifted and sat up, running a hand through his tousled hair. He touched Jay's wrist lightly, as if feeling for her pulse. "Natatakot ako."

She grinned and sat up, baring her teeth. "Gago lang siguro yung hindi matatakot. Pero gago lang din si Dolores lalo na at she underestimated the team. Hindi lang siya ang may superpowers." Embracing her spark, she held out her hand and let red and gold flames lick it momentarily.

"Nakalimutan din niyang may ginalit siyang dragon," he agreed. The sparkle in his eyes made her want to push him down the bed again and tear off his clothes.  _Hindi pa pwede_ _._ She had to survive the day first.

"Nag-iinit nga yung dragon ngayon eh." She chuckled and gave him a quick kiss. "Pero  _wag muna_."

 **Friday, 07-15-15, 9:00** **AM, Tarlac, Tarlac**

It wasn't surprising that breakfast was such a subdued affair. After all, it was the fifteenth of July already, and Jay had a little more than seven hours left before the curse took full effect. Jay herself had started to feel physically worse the moment she left the bed with Goyong.

"Kamusta yung pakiramdam mo?" asked Joven. There was a glint of unease in his eyes which made everything feel worse than it should.

She winced as she took her place between him and Marge. "Humihinga pa naman ata ako."

"Based sa naririnig ko palagi tungkol sa Dolores na ito, sa tingin ko eh maninigurado yan na hindi makaabot sa ospital si Jay para matulungan kapah tumama na yung sumpa," mused Celeste.

"Hindi nga ata." Julian scowled, glancing at the window. It was as if he was expecting their enemy to look through it at any moment.

Tina smiled, teeth bared in a dangerous grin. "Subuk subukan lang naman niyang gawin yun. Di naman natin papabayaan yung kaibigan natin, di ba?"

"Of course not," he agreed, his face lightening up.

Celeste steepled her fingers together on the table grimly. "Kung ginagamit ni Dolores yung powers ni Jay para masense yung presence niya, I think I can help."

Marge snapped her fingers. "Based sa araw yung powers ni Jay at sa buwan yung sayo, diba? May kaya ka bang gawin para, um, maneutralize yun?"

"Hindi ako sigurado. Theory lang, pero it won't hurt to try, diba?" Celeste ducked her head with a small, sweet smile. "I haven't knowm you guys that long yet pero... In a way, family na din kayo."

 **Friday, 07-15-15, 11:00** **AM, Tarlac, Tarlac**

They were on their way home,  _finally._ It was a little cramped in Julian's car. Tina and Celeste had to keep themselves on the shotgun seat while five people were cramped on the back. Jay was on Goyong's lap, Marge on Julio's, while Joven found himself squeezed against the door.

It didn't matter though. She was going home. All she had to do was survive the day, and she was all set to go and beat up Dolores for good. It sounded easy, but Jay was sure it was more complicated than that - and didn't mind it at all.

"Kapag may nararamdaman kang kahit anong kakaiba, sabihin mo agad ha?" whispered Goyong, his warm breath tickling her ear.

"Oo naman. _Ali ku rin naman bisang atin malyaring matsura." Hindi ko rin naman gustong may mangyaring masama._ She leaned against him with a sigh. 

She will survive, even if she had to fight tooth and nail for every inch of her life. Everything that happened in the past twenty four hours felt like an ember glowing in her chest, keeping most of the pain and fear at bay. She will endure. Not for Goyong or Joven, but for her past self.

 **Friday, 07-15-15, 2:00**   **PM** **, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

 _Home sweet home_. They finally made it back in one piece. Jay was half afraid that Dolores or her last minion - Aguinaldo's doppleganger - would try to waylay them.

"Uy, tignan niyo sino yung nandito!" Nonong called out, stumbling down the stairs in his uniform with a comb stuck in his hair. He threw his arms around Jay and hugged her tightly. "Tapos na ba yung bakasyon niyo?"

"Namiss din kita, gago," Jay growled, ruffling his hair.

A door creaked somewhere, followed by soft footsteps. "Sila na ba talaga yan?" Addie's voice piped up from the corridor by the kitchen.

Jay turned to her with a grin."Mismo!"

She was about to say something more when a flash of white hot pain wracked her chest, worse than everything else - even that accident that caused the  _damn_ internal damage that made everything much worse. She bit her lip so as not to cry out, drawing blood. Her ears rang - she could hear voices but couldn't understand them. Only the sound of her ragged breathing and suppressed whimper seemed coherrent to her.

The pain faded slowly, returning her proper senses, but it lingered, burning with the throb of her heart. It was there to remind her that she had barely two hours left.

"Jay, naririnig mo ba kami?" Joven's voice broke through the jumble in her thoughts, slowly dragging her back to clarity.

She nodded, taking a few deep breaths to calm herself. "Ayos lang ako."

Marge and Tina gently helped her stand, worry on their faces. Goyong gently dusted her clothes. "Itatakbo ka na ba namin sa ospital?" he asked.

"Ayos lang ako," she told him with a forced grin. She wouldn't ask to be rushed to the hospital unless it was too much for her.

"Tara, akyat ka na muna para mas presko ka," Tina murmured, her voice uncharacteristically gentle.

She didn't complain when Tina, Marge, and Goyong helped her up the stairs, followed by Addie and Celeste. There was nothing bad about feeling weak at times - it was easier to conserve her strength so she could last longer against far worse things.

They propped her up on her bed, careful not to hurt her. She could see concern on their faces and for once, it made her feel that she did deserve it.

Her gaze drifted to Addie.

The girl was as closed off as always, but there was something that looked like faint  _admiration_ there. "There's something different about you," she noted.

"Well, mas malala na yung sakit ko," joked Jay.

Addie shook her head. A smile played on her lips. "No. I mean, you look more at  _peace._ Self-assured. You remind me of a warrior queen."

Jay felt her cheeks flush. "Warrior, pwede pa pero queen?"

Goyong cleared his throat. "Sigurado ka bang ayaw mo pang pasugod sa ospital?"

"Keri pa." Jay unbuttoned her flannel shirt, aware of everyone staring. She felt a tired smile play on her lips as she undid her bra and set it aside too. She raised an eyebrow when no one spoke. "Do you like what you're seeing?"

"Bhe, wala ka bang balak magmodel sa FHM?" Marge asked with a chuckle.

Tina waved her hands around. "Wait, may nasesense akong kakaiba diyan sa mga marka."

Celeste tapped her cheek before pointing to the markings on Jay's chest. "Gawa sa magic yan, ano?"

"Gawa ng magic ni Dolores," confirmed Goyong.

Jay nodded. The writings were mostly red already, except for a small sliver at the very edge. She still had a bit of time left. "Pag tuluyang naging pula yan, tatamaan na ko ng sumpa ko," she said as she pulled her clothes back on.

 **Friday, 07-15-15, 4:00**   **PM** **, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

She was almost dozing off for a nap with Goyong beside her when the markings turned completely red and began to fade completely. The pain that ripped through her like burning hot claws, making her thrash and scream. Her heart fluttered erratically, unable to breathe properly from alarm and agony.

"Jay!" Goyong's hands where on her shoulders, hoisting her up. "Anong nangyayari?"

"O-oras na ata," she gasped before crying out again, feeling as if dozens of fiery needles were being shoved into her torso.

He scooped her up into his arms without another word as she tried to master her pain. He called out to the others as he stumbled out of the room. She vaguely saw Joven and Julian rushing to them, followed by Tina, Marge, and Celeste before she screwed her eyes shut. Down the stairs they went, out of the house and into Julian's car.

She took a heaving breath as she writhed and struggled and cried, trying to summon her spark despite everything and failing. _Shit._ She had to endure. She had to live.

"Kapit lang," Goyong whispered, his soft voice breaking through her haze. "Wag mo kaming iiwan. Mahal kita."

She could only respond with a shuddering scream as the pain swelled. All energy to move or talk was sucked out real quick, leaving her shaking as he pulled her closer, whispering words of reassurances in her ear.

It all felt like a lifetime to her, especially when the last lucid bit of her head processed the fact that it seemed like they were in a traffic jam.

"Bukas na tayo aabot doon, tanginang rush hour!" Julian snarled.

"Habol nalang kayo. Itatakbo ko na siya." Goyong's voice shook as he threw the door open and stepped out, holding her firmly in his arms. He closed it with a slight motion of his hips and set off into a slight run.

She couldn't whimper, couldn't do much aside from trembling. The pain was steadily climbing, growing unbearable as her heart labored against the curse.

Even breathing was a difficult task by the time they reached the emergency room. Goyong was talking in an agitated tone, but it was all so incomprehensible to her. She was set down urgently on what felt like a bed and systematically undid her clothes. She wss fading fast, but she could feel someone so familiar - was it  _Nonong?_ \- talk to Goyong in a distressed tone.

The pain was still climbing as the emergency room staff connected her to a myriad equipment, asking her questions while they poked and prodded at her. There was a lurching feeling, and her chest felt still while the pain erupted into its zenith. She couldn't breathe at all anymore.

Everything quickly faded.


	24. Rise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay wakes up

_Her father used to call her Juliet._

_One ofearliest childhood memories was that of her father, Joven Hernando IV - also known as Cuatro - taking her to his clinic for the first time. She was three years old turning four, dressed in a bright pink shirt and grubby shortalls, her dark hair pulled back in a loose braid. She stumbled around, looking at the equipment and health posters in awe for a while, the new environment a source of wonder to her young eyes._

_Even years later, she could not miss the fondness in her father's eyes or the pride in his face as he sat her on the desk. "Isa akong doktor," he told her. "Trabaho kong gamutin yung mga pasyente ko - lalo na yung mga may sakit sa puso."_

_Young as she was, she merely inclined her head to listen, trying to understand as much as she could from what he was saying._

_"Hindi lahat sila kaya talagang magbayad para makakuha ng tulong - lalo na at medyo mahal yung bayad sa mga kagaya ko. Pero alam mo, Juliet, ginagawa ko parin yung kaya ko para gamutin sila kahit na wala na akong nakukuhang bayad." He ruffled her hair with a smile, hope in his eyes. "Hindi mo naman kailangan ng kapalit kapag tumutulong ka sa iba. Tandaan mo yun, ha?"_

_She was too young to understand and yet that particular memory, and her father's words, never truly left her thoughts._

**Saturday, 07-15-16, 4:30 PM, Unknown Location**

_She felt no pain - at least, not at the moment._

_She was standing in the middle of Poleng's clearing, though it felt brighter and more beautiful than ever. The rosebushes were abloom in all colors imaginable, the sun was shining through the green canopy overhead, and it was crowded with people. She didn't know a lot of them, but she recognized her father, and her grandparents, and her great-grandparents. She saw Carlos Hernando and Tala at the head of the group. Everyone watched her, as if waiting._

_A nervous laugh escaped her lips. "Hindi pa naman siguro ako patay, ano?" she asked in a high pitched voice. She can't be dead - she still had a job to do, a prophecy to fulfill. "Hindi ko pa natatalo si Dolores, tangina naman. Di pa ako pwedeng mamatay!"_

_"Di ka pa patay, Juliet." Cuatro's eyes lit up as amusement etched itself all over his face. He was definitely trying so hard not to be unkind and laugh at his daughter. "Nandito kami dahil isa ka nang ganap na babaylan - niyakap mo na ng lubusan yung sarili mo, diba? Nakalimutan mo na atang may connection ka sa mga spirits?"_

_Jay reddened. Of course she had to forget about the source of a babaylan's powers. "Sige na nga, 'Tay, ako na yung makakalimutin!"_

_He chuckled and ruffled his hair like he always did whenever she said something self deprecating. "Alam ko namang you had too much on your mind lately. Lalo na't umabot ka na sa deadline ng sumpa mo. Sa totoo lang, you can always contact us naman kung kailangan mo ng advice pero this time, kami na yung lumapit sayo."_

_"Bakit nga ba?" She shuddered, remembering the last details she saw before passing out. Everyone would definitely be worried sick by her._

_"Nag-aagaw buhay ka pa sa ospital ngayon," he explained quietly. "Alam naman natin na may prophecy ka pang kailangang tuparin, so hindi mo pa talaga oras. Nandito kami para ipaalam lang na we're proud of you - alam naming kayang kaya mong harapin yung physical na sakit na sasalubong sayo paggising mo - at yung magiging laban niyo ni Dolores. Malakas ka at matapang."_

_Their absolute trust in her gave her confidence, the elating feeling washing over her like a coursing river. She bowed her head as the scene began to dissolve in a swirl of gold and red light._

**Saturday, 07-16-16, 2:00 AM, Angeles University Foundation Medical Center**

The loud sound of the beeping machines pulled her into consciousness. The sterile smell of the hospital, the pain in her body, and the unpleasant sensation of the various wires, tubes, and needles bombarded her just a few seconds later.

There was a loud gasp from right beside her. She barely had time to regain more of her bearings before an obviously exhausted and upset Goyong filled her vision. He let out a choked sob as his fingers brushed her face. "Julietta, tinakot mo ako," he murmured. "Akala ko mawawala ka na ng tuluyan."

If she wasn't so exhausted and feeling so much pain, she would have found herself smiling. She remembered uttering the same words to him after he almost died by the hands of Bonifacio's doppleganger, more than seven months ago. She found it funny, the way it seemed like their roles have reversed, and that they both feared that they would lose each other despite the fact that they knew, deep down, that they would fight tooth and nail to go back to each other's arms.

"Hindi pwede yan," she whispered, echoing his words to her back then. Even talking _hurt_. "Kailangan ko kayong balikan."

A smile lit up his pretty face as he ran his fingers through her crimson hair carefully, lovingly. "Ilang oras ka ring nag-agaw buhay, alam mo yun? Hindi ka maiwan ng mga doktor. Nagulat nalang sila nang bigla kang naging stable pagpatak ng alas dose ng gabi."

"Hindi na kasi akinse pagdating ng alas dose..." she said, trailing off to catch her breath and rest from the pain. "Sinabi ni Dolores, titigil yung puso ko exactly five months after ilagay yung sumpa - pero hindi na five months ngayon, hindi ba? Five months at one day na."

"Eksakto yung paggamit niya ng mga salita, ano?" he asked tiredly. "Pero yung katawan mo mahina parin at sinabi nila na hindi ka parin gumagaling."

Miraculously recovering after surviving the curse would have been wishful thinking, but Jay did half hope that it would have happened. It seemed like it wouldn't have been the case. "Ito siguro yung paraan ni Dolores para... makaresbak sa akin just in case hindi nga niya ako napatay. Pero sorry nalang siya. Nasanay na ako sa ganitong condition. I'm not scared of that bitch."

The pride she saw in his father and ancestors' eyes were reflected in Goyong's. His lips quirked up into a brilliant smile. "Ipakita mo sakanya kung bakit tama lang na matakot siya sa iyo."

She mirrored his grin, feeling herself swell with giddy euphoria. "Exactly. _Humanda ka, bitch. The dragon is still here._

**Saturday, 07-16-16, 8:00 AM, Angeles University Foundation Medical Center**

She didn't get much sleep, but it was all right with her. She must have spent the last few days sleeping and being unconscious and now it was finally catching up to her. Her body still felt heavy and pained and exhausted but her mind was alert enough. She watched Goyong sleep, hunched over, his head resting on the side of her bed, her fingers rythmically stroking his hair.

She had already been visited by nurses twice and confirmed that she was fine and comfortable, and also finished the _arroz caldo_ that the second lady brought her before he finally woke up.

A small smile quirked her lips as she watched him sit up straight to stretch and massage his neck. His slow, languid movements were enough to send the feeling of a warm, pleasant ache between her legs.

_Wala talagang pinipiling oras yung uhaw, ano?_

The only reasons why she hadn't gone beyond cuddling and making out with were because she wanted to find closure on Poleng and survive her curse. Now that both were out of the way, all she had to do was regain her strength.

He caught her gaze and gave her a sultry grin. "Gusto mo ba ang nakikita mo?"

"Daig mo pa ang eye candy," she told him happily. "Mas masarap ka."

His cheeks turned red, though the grin never left his face. He leaned forward to kiss her forehead while he chuckled. "Magpagaling ka na, ha? Hindi na ako makapaghintay na  _makatabi_ kang muli."

The door creaked open after two short knocks. Celeste stepped in, carrying a lunchbox. "Good morning!" she chirped. "Good to see na maayos ka na, p're."

"Salamat, 'tol." Jay felt her grin growing wider. It seemed like they would be having more company soon.

Goyong's stomach growled, as if on cue. "Manang, mabuti nalang at nandyan ka. Kailangan ko munang mag-almusal!"

"Don't you ' _Manang'_ me, Heneral," Celeste shot back, her tone rising just a little yet still keeping her kindly smile. "Kain ka na.  _Mandilu naka rin nung bisa ka, ali na naman buring Jay nung mabuluk ka, ne?" Maligo ka na rin kung gusto mo, ayaw naman siguro ni Jay kung mabaho ka, ano?_

Goyong chuckled and bowed his head. "Masusunod po!" He turned to Jay, eyes still sparkling. "Babalik agad ako."

"Alagaan mo yung sarili mo," she told him with a chuckle.

Excusing himself, he gave her hand a quick squeeze, nodded to Celeste, and left.

"Head over heels talaga siya sayo, ano?" Celeste said, taking the seat he just vacated and setting down. "Nag-alala lahat kami kahapon nung nalaman namin na sinugod ka na sa ospital."

"I'm sorry." Jay sighed - even that simple movement  _hurt._

Celeste's smile widened. She patted Jay's arm awkwardly. "Don't be." She paused, as if gauging her next words. "At least you're safe. Hindi ka mararamdaman ni Dolores as long as hindi ako ganoon kalayo sa iyo."

"Powers mo?" asked Jay. Despite the fact that they have finished their training, they were still learning about their abilities. "Nasabi mo na dati na kaya nating maneutralize ang isa't isa, diba?"

"Exactly." Celeste grinned. "So take your time. Hindi ako uuwi hangga't di ka nakakalabas diyan."

There was a quick knock on the door before it creaked open. Addie stepped in, looking a little anxious. She gave them a quick smile. "Glad to see na you're fine na," she said warmly.

"Thanks." Jay leaned back, closing her eyes. Hazy pain washed over her, and it was so difficult to fend off.

"Good to hear na ikaw pa rin naman pala yung koronel na nakilala namin noon," Celeste told Addie.

Addie chuckled. There was a soft creaking sound as she sat on the small padded bench by the window. "I suppose."

"Diba nagmomol pa kayo ni Vince sa field noon? May kasamang pagulong gulong?" Celeste's voice took on a joking tone.

"M-Manang! Don't remind me of that." Addie was definitely flustered.

Jay felt herself laughing despite the pain. "No need to be ashamed. Humpy humpy naman kayo ni Vince ngayon ah."

"Healthy emotional and physical relationships are nice. Eight years na kami ni Ploo," Celeste told them reasonably. "Kinky sex is nice din."

That sent Jay thinking again, of Goyong and her room and things that they could do to each other. There it was again, that warm ache between her legs that made her chest hurt and throb.

She let out a wheeze, realizing that her chest was constricting painfully, making it so hard to breathe. The monitors were going haywire, registering both her pain and arousal.

"Manang, ayos ka lang?" Addie asked, alarmed.

"Not... safe... for work thoughts," Jay wheezed, groaning.

The door opened and Isabel Luna stepped in, immaculate and savage in her uniform. Jay felt herself cringe despite the agony.  _Patay tayo diyan._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If ever people are curiois, a lot of people in Tarlac can and do speak Kapampangan.


	25. Poison

_Her mother had always insisted on calling her Poleng._

_Jay never really had much good memories about the woman. Her mother had been distant at best. Jay spent her childhood avoiding her, knowing that the woman was indifferent to anything about the child._

_Nothing she ever did felt enough to her mother. Her high grades, learning how to draw and sing and play the guitar, they were always met with her mother's disapproval._

_"Kulang pa yan," was always the reply she got to her achievements. "At hindi ka parin gumaganda at pumapayat."_

**Sunday, 07-17-16, 7:00 AM, Angeles University Foundation Medical Center**

She didn't mind being alone so early in the morning. Goyong was forced to go home with Joven to get some food and necessities, leaving her to fend for herself during breakfast. It was alright, as she was strong enough to feed herself, and it left her with some time to concentrate and try to hold on to her spark properly.

It wasn't that she  _can't_. It was more like her body was too weak and battered for her to use her powers for more than making her hand glow and sensing emotions. Not even Poleng's wedding ring, which rested comfortably on the same finger as her engagement ring, was enough to give her a proper boost.

Despite the fact that she had been ill and cursed already when she first started her training, she used to be able to access her powers with relative ease. Surviving the actual purpose of the curse seemed to be another thing. It was infuriating, but she supposed patience had its own merits.

To her surprise, Aurora came to visit so early that day. It was the first time she saw the girl since the events in Tarlac, and the eyebags alarmed Jay.

"Nay naman eh!" Aurora's lip wobbled as she threw herself at Jay, hugging her awkwardly and jostling all the equipment stuck to her. "Wag kang mananakot ng ganun!"

Jay winced as the IV needle tugged her arm lightly. "I'm sorry." She forgot just how many times she had already apologized over the past two days.

Aurora straightened up, hands on her hips. "Yung totoo ko ngang nanay iniwan na ako dito sa Pilipinas, tapos muntik ka pang mamatay? Wag naman ganern!"

A weak chuckle escaped Jay's lips. She was still aching all over, but she was starting to feel stronger. _Makakauwi rin ako. Tiwala lang._ "Ayos na ako, no worries. Mahina pa ako pero malapit na ring maging pakalat kalat ulit."

"Dapat lang." Aurora let out a huff and sat down on Goyong's favored seat. "Bakit magisa ka? Diba dapat nandito si Tatay?"?

"Umuwi muna, naghakot ng ilang gamit eh. Magtatagal pa daw ako hanggang this week dito," explained Jay. She had already accepted that despite her survival, her health might never return to its peak unless she found the doll Dolores used to curse her, and she was fine with it for now. There would be lots of chances to do that later - and make Dolores pay for everything she did to them.

**Friday, 07-22-16, 4:00 PM, Angeles University Foundation Medical Center**

She heaved a sigh of relief when she was finally deemed healthy enough to go home despite the fact that her current state left a ridiculously fine line between good and bad health. Goyong carried her luggage all the way out of the hospital, where Joven was waiting for them. The latter helped Jay hop on to the backseat of his car, looking her over worriedly. "Sigurado kang kaya mo nang umuwi?" he asked quietly.

She nodded, smiling. "Wala rin naman silang magagawa tungkol sa sumpa ko." She rubbed her chest thoughtfully as Goyong sat beside her with a tired sigh. "At least mas magiging productive ako sa bahay, diba?"

Goyong took her hand and squeezed it. Even the simple act was enough to make her feel warm and bothered again. _Tangina, ayaw na akong lubayan ng uhaw ko._ "Uy, wag mo namang pagurin masyado yung sarili mo."

She closed her eyes, trying to access her spark yet again. All she could still get was a trickle, though it was significantly more than what she was able to get the day before. She did have to regain her strength. "Oo naman. Ang sabi nga nila eh everything in moderation, diba?"

"Dapat lang!" Joven growled as he eased his car into the highway. "I don't think you can fight Dolores kung ganyan ang katawan mo."

She would have exploded at that comment just a few weeks ago, but the events in Tarlac have left her changed. She wasn't a useless liability just because she was ill. It was just a minor setback. "True, true. Pero let's be real, kung kailangan, lalabanan ko siya kahit ganito pa yung lagay ko."

Goyong's hand tightened around hers, his eyes growing tense and just the smallest bit _afraid_. "Kung hindi kita mapipigilan, sasamahan nalang kita."

**Friday, 07-22-16, 6:00 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Despite the fact that Jay missed the usual bustle of the crowded house, she didn't mind the fact that everyone was away on their own dates for once. It left her home alone with Goyong, relaxing on a living room couch while channel surfing. Jay didn't mind feeling _normal_ for once, despite the fact that her life was anything but that.

Her brain was already running on high speed, wondering how she could breach the topic of having their first time - and _where_ they would do it. Just thinking about it was already making her muddled all over, feeling like she might spontaneously combust from the sensations that it sent her body. It was more than thirst.

She leaned against him, feeling his warmth against hers. "Goyong, if given the chance, babalik ka pa ba sa Tirad?"

"Para ano?" he asked, an arm around her waist. "Ang ibig kong sabihin lang naman, hindi ko na kailangan ng _closure_ doon. Ayos na ako. Buong buo."

She nodded. Still, it felt like it would be fitting, going back to the place where things started and ended for him. After all, she ended a phase of her life and started anew in Tarlac. "Gusto kong makita yung Tirad in person. Sa tingin mo ba kaya nating pumunta doon? Yung tayong dalawa lang?"

He raised an eyebrow, curiosity in his eyes. "Anong sumagi sa isip mo? May kailangan bang mangyari sa Tirad gaya ng sa libingan ni Poleng?"

"May  _gusto_ akong mangyari doon," she purred.

He blinked, eyes widening. "Sa Tirad talaga?" he asked, struggling to fight off the smile on his lips. There it was too, the reckless look on his face. "Jay,  _no."_

"Jay, _yes_." She gazed up at him, eyes smoldering. Despite his complaints, she knew that he was interested too. "Bhe, alam kong gusto mo rin. Hindi ba...  _symbolic_?"

He lifted his chin stubbornly. "Alam ko, pero yung puso mo! Diba bawal sa iyo yung magpagod? Tapos overstimulation pa!"

 _Titiklop ka rin._ "Henerahhhl, no worries! Alam ko naman yung limitations ng katawan ko, lalo na ngayong may powers na ako." She knew that she would never push her body too far.

He didn't let go of that stubborn set to his face, but it was definitely just a matter of time. A few seconds passed before his face relax. "Sige, hindi naman kita matiis at alam mo yun. Ipangako mong aalagaan mo ang katawan mo, parang awa mo na."

"Pangako." She won before the battle even started and they both knew it.  _Bingo._

"Quick question lang." Goyong stared at her, that glint of reckless mischief sprinkled with desire returning. "Pano kung hindi pumayag yung iba diyan sa binabalak mong  _field trip_?"

She was pretty sure that she was mirroring the look on his face. "They don't have to know naman - at least, hanggang hindi pa tayo nakakalayo."

"Kelan mo balak to?" he asked. He was definitely convinced already.

"One year na tayong magkakilala ulit sa Sunday. G ka ba?" It was going to be a bit of rushed planning but she didn't mind. She had this  _feeling_ that it had to happen.

"G na g. Pakshet, excited na ako," he growled into her ear.

"Ako din." She shivered, though the flash of  _heat_ was there again. Her heart drumrolled in her chest as she reached up to kiss him.

**Saturday, 07-23-16, 9:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Keeping the excitement at bay was difficult, especially when Marge came over to look after her while Goyong left to buy supplies for their trip. Despite her best efforts to appear quite calm and collected, it was difficult to hide what she really felt to a fellow babaylan.

"So, Jay, ano yang masamang binabalak mo?" Marge asked casually as they propped themselves up on the living room floor, chips in hand, and waited for Guardians of the Galaxy to start playing.

Jay gave her a side glance, raising an eyebrow. "Masamang binabalak?"

Marge's lips lifted in a catlike grin. "Bhe, hindi lang ikaw yung babaylan dito," she chirped. "I can sense your emotions."

Jay sighed. Her sister had a point. "Hindi naman exactly masamang balak. More like, may  _date_ kami ni Goyong bukas."

"Date?" The look on Marge's face made it clear that she didn't believe it one bit. "Date lang ba talaga?"

Jay felt her cheeks turn red. She learned so many things in the past two weeks but acting wasn't part of those life lessons. "Oo, promise. Konting sight seeing, ganun."

"Sight seeing." Marge raised her brows in a teasing look. The catlike smile widened. "Alam mo, I won't judge naman kung may balak kayong  _not safe for work_. I shag my boyfriend a lot and you know it."

"Not in Tirad, ano," mumbled Jay, knowing she couldn't lie to her or deflect the topic.

"Balak niyong gawin yung first time niyo dun?" Marge asked curiously. "Outdoor mountain sex sounds nice - at sa Tirad pa of all places ah! Mahilig ba kayo sa symbolism?"

"Hindi naman exactly symbolism," Jay said with a laugh. She rubbed her chest, feeling a sudden ache. "Pero may feeling ako na it has to happen doon."

Marge smiled and patted her hand. "Babaylan senses, I think. I get them din pag minsan - gaya nung nangyari yung kidnapserye na yun. I'm not going to judge you naman, promise. You're mature enough to know what you're doing - kahit na may health issues ka."

Jay nodded.  _Babaylan senses indeed_. "Thanks."

Marge picked up the remote control, about to play the film - then paused. "Just a piece of advice, kung ayos lang sayo?"

"Ayos na ayos." Jay felt herself relaxing.

Marge's grin widened even more. "Ilabas mo ang uhaw mo at wag mong pipigilan."

Jay grinned, remembering her advice to Vince two months ago. _Basta tandaan mo, sa first time mo, ilabas mo lahat ng alindog mo ha?_ "Noted."

**Sunday, 07-24-16, 2:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Jay let out an inhuman groan when Goyong shook her awake. It felt like she barely got any sleep at all. The pain in her chest definitely didn't help matters.

"Ayos lang naman na matulog ka ulit," he suddenly whispered in her ear, making her all but  _vibrate_. His voice was enough to pull her solidly into the waking world.

"I'm not passing up this chance." She rubbed the sleep from her eyes as she sat up, quickly changing into the clothes that Goyong offered her and grabbing her toothbrush.

She finished her morning ablutions quietly and in record time, which amazed her. It felt like a few minutes barely passed when she and Goyong finally crept past the first storey, out through the garden and into the eerily quiet street.

Exchanging elated ooks with him, she let him take her hand as they hailed a tricycle from the terminal at end of the street, feeling excitement build up in her. They were finally taking their first steps toward an  _adventure of a lifetime_ , and she wouldn't miss it for the world.


	26. Young God

_Jay's father often joked that she and her older brother, Joven, were as different as night and day. Despite their shared love of books and films, Joven had always been quiet and reserved, Jay the boyish, boisterous one. It was even more noticeable as they were born only seventeen months between each other._

_Joven had always been by her side, even when the bullying started in her fourth grade._

_"Dapat lumalaban ka sakanila," Joven said, rubbing the bruise on her wrist as they sat on a school bench in a secluded corner of the quadrangle after class. Tall for a fifth grader, even the worst bullies shied away from him despite his quiet and relatively gentle nature. "Hindi mo sila dapat pabayang ginaganyan ka."_

_She looked up at him, scuffing her dusty black shoes on the cement ground. "Lalo lang nila akong inaaway pag lumalaban ako," she confessed. The girls laughed and called her ugly and fat, shoved her around and ruined her school supplies with unabashed glee, but she wasn't about to tell her brother just how bad it was._

_"Lumaban ka parin. Ipakita mong hindi worth it ang ginagawa nila sa iyo. Put fear in them." It was easy for him to say, being tall and quite striking and honestly intimidating despite his gentle, quiet nature._

_Jay nodded, looking down, mentally telling herself that she could never be the tough, respectable girl that Joven wanted her to be. Despite her cheery, boisterous nature, she was too kind, easily pushed over. She would just have to endure._

**Sunday, 07-24-16, 6:30 AM, Dagupan, Pangasinan**

"Jay?" Goyong's voice filled her hazy, exhausted thoughts while he gently nudged her awake. "Nagstopover tayo, may gusto ka bang bilhin sa labas?"

She lifted her head from his shoulder, rubbing her eyes tiredly. She didn't notice that she actually fell asleep during their trip. Passengers were boarding and departing the bus while the sun was a faint smudge in the horizon outside the window. "Nasan na tayo?" she croaked.

"Dagupan." Goyong's voice was laced with distaste with just the slightest hint of wistful regret. His thoughts were probably straying toward the Bernals and Dolores.

She nudged the bags by their feet with a smile. "Sa dami ng pinamili mo kahapon, kampante na ako hanggang Ilocos." She stretched languidly, a small groan escaping her pale lips. "Ikaw, di ka bababa?"

"Keri na din." He looked her over, as if wondering if she was really up for their trip up north. "Di ka pa ba nagugutom? Baka gusto mo nang magalmusal dito bago umalis ulit yung bus."

Jay paused, a hand to her stomach. It growled, as if on cue. "Good idea, Henerahhhl. _Subuan_ mo naman ako."

The corners of his lips quirked up in a thirsty smile. "Gusto mong subuan kita, binibini?" he asked in a low purr. The smolder in his voice was enough to send her entire body quivering, like a bow pulled taut and ready to be released at any moment. He leaned forward, eyes sparkling. "Alam mo namang your wish is my command, hindi ba?"

**Sunday, 07-24-16, 10:00 AM, Candon, Ilocos Sur**

Arriving at the end of the bus line's route felt like sweet relief to her aching muscles. Hefting their backpacks, the pair hit the road, looking for a place to stop by for lunch. Their ears were still ringing from Joven's scolding when he called them, scolding them angrily about making the entire team worry over their disappearance. Walking hand in hand through the sidewalks, Jay took the time to document the surroundings with her phone camera while she stretched her cramped legs.

"Turistang turista ampeg mo ah," Goyong told her, eyes glittering in amusement.

"Madalang lang, shhh." She nudged him gently with her elbow, grinning like a child on Christmas day. Her stomach growled and her chest ached, but she felt on top of the world. "Bhe, gusto ko ng Jollibee."

He nodded sagely as they navigated through the light summer crowd, eyes scanning the area. "Nasabik ako bigla! Naaalala mo pa nung una tayong nagkita last year sa Jollibee?"

"Ako pa?" It felt like lifetimes ago to her due to everything that had happened within the span of a year. So many things have changed sincne then and yet, they were still fundamentally themselves. "Paano ko makakalimutan yun, eh parang naka spotlight ka sa paningin ko?"

He looked down, cheeks turning a faint red. "Magagalit ka ba sa akin kung sasabihin kong hindi agad kita nakilala? Hindi ko narealize kung sino ka talaga hangga't hindi mo ako nilibre ng mami nung gabing yun."

She raised an eyebrow as a coquettish smile lit up her face. "Magagalit? At bakit naman ako nagagalit?" She gave a lock of her red hair a quick twirl, ran a hand across her chest, and patted her hips good naturedly. "Well, may mga konting - ahem - _changes_ nga naman sa appearance ko."

He stared at her that look in her face that let her know that he wouldn't have minded whatever it was she looked like. It made her feel brighter and more beautiful than the sun - and it wasn't a bad thing at all.

**Sunday, 07-24-16, 11:00 AM, Candon, Ilocos Sur**

They reached the area where they would be waiting for the jeep heading for that municipality named after Goyong. They were told by some helpful locals that told them it wouldn't be arriving for another couple of hours but there the jeepney was, along with about fifteen or so people who seemed to be hikers who were arguing - or haggling - with the driver.

"Final na ba talaga yun? Pucha, kulang tayo ng three hundred," one of them groaned, counting the bills he was clutching. "Sorry, medyo hapit kami."

One of the other hikers waved at the approaching couple, a bright smile on her face. "Hi! Maghihike din ba kayo sa Tirad?" she asked.

Jay raised an eyebrow before nodding. "Oo, pero...  _casual_ lang kami."

"That's fantastic!" The woman, who seemed to be a handful of years older than them, motioned for them to come closer. "Kami din kasi, galing pa kami all the way from Bulacan. Medyo nabitin nga lang yung budget namin para mahire si kuya ng balikan."

"Three hundred nalang, di ba?" Goyong asked, fishing his pocket for his wallet.

"We can contribute," Jay said, catching her boyfriend's intentions. "Since parepareho lang naman tayong pupunta doon. Magoovernight din ba kayo?"

"Yeah, para makapunta rin kami sa peak," another hiker confirmed with a determined look on his face.

Having fellow hikers around might ruin their plans for Tirad a little bit, but Jay supposed it would still happen, one way or another.

After a bit of hiking, they were on the way to the municipality of Gregorio del Pilar. Along with a couple of the hikers, Jay and Goyong perched themselves on the roof of the jeepney, watching the scenery unfold before them.

"Sigurado kang ayos lang talaga sayo na babalik ka sa Tirad?" she asked, clutching her rugged black backpack close to her.

"Siguradong sigurado!" he told her. The honesty in his voice as absolute, and she could sense excitement from him too.

**Sunday, 07-24-16, 1:30 PM, Gregorio del Pilar, Ilocos Sur**

After that incident of Goyong's name raising some eyebrows at the police station when they registered as hikers, they finally made it to the foot of the trail that would take them to Tirad.

It was a heavily overcast day, a faint breeze tugging at their hair. There was only the two of them as the other group wouldn't be heading for the mountains until another two and a half hours. It meant that they would definitely have more than enough time to enact their plans.

Goyong discussed the battle and his journal, talking about the actual fear he felt during the battle, helping Jay take pictures including some selfies of themselves every now and then.

"Gusto ko nang mamatay noon," he confessed as they passed by the cave where he spent his  _last_ night as the boy general. "Natakot ako, ngunit ginusto ko iyon - dahil may nagsabi sa akin na pumanaw ka na at maniwala ka, hindi nawala ang pagmamahal ko sa iyo."

"Alam ko," she whispered, wrapping an arm around his waist to give him a quick hug.

They stood there for a while, lost in their own thoughts.

**Sunday, 07-24-16, 3:30 PM, Tirad Shrine**

They finally made it.

A statue of Goyong atop his rearing stallion, painted gold, marked the shrine itself. It felt surreal, reading the plaque that immortalized the boy general's supposed death while he actually stood right beside Jay.

Goyong whipped out his phone with a cheeky grin and took some pictures of everything around them like a hyperactive child. "Mas gwapo parin ako diyan," he said absentmindedly.

She let him take a picture of the two of them, himself, and then just her. She used to be so awkward over getting her pictures taken, knowing that people may make fun of her - but not anymore.

They set up the camping tent that Goyong  _borrowed_ from Julian, fumbling with the faded instructions tucked away in a corner of its duffel bag. She felt herself trembling, her skin threatening to burn up whenever their skin brushed against each other's.

Working together helped finish quickly despite their inexperience, and they stood together to admire it.

"Sigurado ka na ba talaga dito?" Goyong asked as they kicked off their shoes and crawled in.

Jay glanced at him quizzically. "Nagdadalawang isip ka ba?" she asked, knowing the answer before she finished her question.

"Hindi ako magdadalawang isip sa iyo," he told her, taking her hands in his. Even this simple act was enough to send jolts and flutters of pleasure down her gut and spine. "Alam mo yun. Yung kalusugan mo yung iniisip ko."

"Sinabi ko na sayo nung Biyernes," she countered. "Ipapaalam ko rin naman sayo kung di ko na kaya, hindi ba?"

There it was, desire and affection radiating from the two of them as they stared at each other. Jay felt like she was drowning and burning from everything she was feeling and she wouldn't have it any other way.

She leaned forward and kissed him, her hands on his shoulder, nails digging into his shirt. She let the fire wash over her, consume her. They would make each other feel like young gods that night.

They were drunk on love, and it was the best feeling in the world.


	27. Shut Up and Dance with Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay goes home

_It was the summer before her fifth grade - just a few days after they hastily moved out of their ancestral house and into an apartment following an argument between her mother and her aunt - when her brother signed up for Taekwondo classes. She envied him for being allowed to join. She dreamed of being there with him, but she knew that she wouldn't do well in it. Like her mother said, she never really was good enough for whatever it was she tried to do._

_She liked that new friend her brother brought over one particularly warm afternoon though - a tall, eternally smiling boy with sunkissed skin and neatly combed hair. His name was Ed Rusca, he said, and he was in the same Taekwondo class as Joven. It wasn't really that hard to like him, what with his bright smile and his free spirit and the way he moved like the wind._

_"Ang ganda naman ng kapatid mo," he told Joven. The three of them had been sitting on the sidewalk outside the Hernandos' new home, dirty ice cream in hand, the spitting image of happy children enjoying a particularly perfect and eventually nostalgic summer._

_"Niloloko mo lang ako eh!" she told him, red slippers scuffing the asphalt gloomily. Her mother and her classmates told her the same thing - she was too ugly and too fat and no one in their right mind would want to look at her._

_"Hindi, totoo yun!" Ed reached over to pinch her cheek, eliciting a small squeak and a giggle from her. "Tignan mo o ang cute cute niya!"_

_Despite what her mother and classmates led her to believe, Ed managed to make her smile and it wasn't a bad thing._

**Saturday, 07-24-16, 6:00 PM, Tirad Shrine**

Her bare body ached in a pleasant, warm way despite the fact that her traitorous heart ached and struggled. She finally found herself sprawled on the tent cushion, exhausted from everything they've been up to that day, and let him fuss over her. "Napasubo ata tayo sa ginawa natin," he whispered, his warm hands rubbing her chest comfortingly. "Pasensya na."

"Gago, it was totally _worth it_ naman, diba?" she asked, a hazy grin lighting up her pale lips.

"Worth it nga pero yung kalusugan mo naman..." he whispered.

"No regrets," she told him with a small laugh. Ignoring her weary body's protest, she forced herself to sit up with much loud groaning. "Kailangan kong maghilamos bago tayo magbihis ulit."

Clutching a fresh change of clothes, they scuttled out of the tent, arms around each other's waists to keep themselves upright. They were sore and tired and happy and Jay wouldn't have given it up for the world.

They almost made it to the wash area when the loud voices of hikers broke to the relatively peaceful silence in the shrine. Jay let out a squeal when the hikers caught sight of them naked and drenched in sweat for a few seconds before she pulled Goyong into the lavatory with her for a quick wash.

 _Oops_.

**Monday, 07-26-16, 7:00 AM, Tirad Peak**

Conquering the summit made Jay feel on top of the world. Taking pictures hand in hand with Goyong, she felt indomitable and powerful as she took in the panoramic view around her.

"Ang ganda, ano?" she murmured breathlessly.

He nodded, eyes sparkling with the same glee that filled her. "Mas lalo pang gumaganda dahil nandito ka."

She could have chided him for being  _cheesy,_ but she had to admit that she liked it.

**Monday, 07-26-16, 2:00 PM, Gregorio del Pilar, Ilocos Sur**

The sun was peeking shyly out of a thick blanket of pearly clouds by the time they returned to the town at the foot of the mountains. Jay was sore and weary over their recent activities, her chest aching, but she didn't mind. She was happy and warm and on top of the world.

"So, anong masasabi mo sa field trip natin?" Goyong asked, an arm wrapped around her shoulder.

She gave him a smoldering wink, flashing her off kilter smile. " _Life changing_ siya, Henerahhhl." Well, it was true.

"Life changing indeed," he mused. "Nararamdaman ko na yung mga sermon paguwi natin."

"Hayaan mo silang magsalita," she said fiercely. "Hindi naman tayo bawal magkaroon ng konting alone time, hindi ba? Lalo na at ikakasal na rin naman tayo."

He nodded sagely. Pausing as they reached a shade of a waiting shed, he turned to her again, an anxious look on her face. "Alam kong possibleng maging _pointless_ ito pero gusto ko paring humingi ng basbas sa nanay mo."

 _"Magkasakit ka ken." Mahihirapan ka diyan._ The last time she visited her mother was shortly after her college graduation day. Bella Hernando was as unkempt and miserable as ever, screaming that her daughter _should_ have died. Jay had been too upset and too angry to see her again after that. "I don't think na reasonable siya. Pero... people change, hindi ba? Baka naman iba na nga naman this time."

He bowed his head in acknowledgement. "Pakiramdam ko lang kasi na hindi ko ito ginagawa ng tama kung hindi ko susubukan," he admitted. "At maganda rin siguro kung subukan mo siyang kausapin ulit."

There were too many bad memories, but Jay supposed she could give it a shot. She had forgiven her mother a long time ago, as much as she hated to admit it. "Tama ka," she said, feeling herself tear up. "Wala namang masama kung susubukan ko rin."

**Monday, 07-26-16, 11:30 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

_Home sweet home_ yet again.

Her body had betrayed her by the time the tricycle had dropped them off right outside the house and so she found herself being half carried through the garden by Goyong. In another time, she would have fussed and complained and squirmed about it. Now though, she was just grateful and content by it all.

The house living room was empty, which was to be expected. Everyone had probably retired to their rooms already, sleeping or probably on their phones - or so they thought. Joven was waiting for them at the top of the stairs, arms crossed and obviously demanding for answers.

"Good evening, Kuya!" she chirped, noting the way her brother took in the sight of her being tired enough to rely on Goyong for support. "Pasensya na, ginabi kami. Hindi agad umalis yung bus eh."

Goyong looked Joven straight in the eye, though his cheeks were a faint red. "Naisipan kasi naming pumunta sa Tirad para, um, maprocess yung mga bagay an nangyari nitong mga nakaraang araw."

"Sana man lang nagpaalam kayo ng maayos," sighed Joven. "Alam naman naming di namin kayo mapigilan pag may _binabalak_ kayo eh. Besides, alone time niyo naman yun eh. Sige na, magpahinga na kayo."

That sounded easy enough, but Jay was sure they would be under the scrutiny of the entire household by breakfast.

**Tuesday, 07-27-16, 6:30 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Her entire body still ached from two days of hiking and traveling and everything else in between, but her entire head felt crystal clear when she felt Goyong shaking her awake. They have discussed things the previous day, after all, and decided to face the entire household together.

"Sigurado akong daig pa ng Startalk at The Buzz yung hot seat na nakaabang sa atin sa ibaba," Goyong said by the time they were already heading downstairs, his eyes glittering with playfulness. "Handa ka na bang harapin sila?"

"Alam mo naman ako, Henerahhhl. Lagi akong handa," she told him, nudging him with her hip. She was feeling warm all over and was pretty sure she would have pinned him down on the hallway's polished wood floor and tore off his clothes if she weren't hungry.

The entire team was waiting on the breakfast table, their eyes trained on the two of them. Jay felt herself blushing at the sight of Cat's smirk and Rusca's unabashed giggling. _Nasaan ang hustisya?_ She took her place in between Goyong and Etong, who proceeded to sniff at her.

" _Someone_ smells like sex," he announced happily to the entire table. "Sa hotel niyo ba ginawa? Sa banyo? Good lord, please don't tell me na sa  _Tirad_ niyo ginawa?"

"I invoke my right to remain silent." Goyong gave Jay one of his side glances. "Almusal to, gago, hindi  _after dark_."

"Umiiwas lang kayo sa tanong ko, aminin niyo na," Etong said with a pout.

"We know you have a question but since we have deemed it a stupid ass question, we have decided not to answer it," Jay told him smugly.

"Pero you're  _not_ denying na ginawa niyo nga." Mock horror colored Rusca's voice as he looked around the table.

Goyong crossed his arms, glaring at everyone. "Hindi lang naman kami yung may healthy na sexual relationship dito ah, saka ikakasal na din nga kami. Ano bang problema niyo?"

That was enough to silence them, at least.

"Pero Ate Jay, diba bawal sa puso mo yung sobrang pagod gaya ng hiking at yung overstimulation ng sex - na nakakapagod din?" Nonong asked worriedly.

"Alam ko - pero I can handle myself. Don't worry." Jay beamed angelically at him. There was no need to add that she had an awful scare that night in Tirad.

**Wednesday, 07-28-16, 10:30 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Life had settled back into its mundane routine, with everyone off to work for school except one person.

Jay was sure that Dolores believed she was dead and would not bother her for a while and decided to dye her hair black for the meantime to completely throw her off the trail. Staring at her reflection in the mirror, she found it disconcerting to see herself with a more natural hair color again after almost seven years.

She closed her eyes as she combed her damp hair slowly, embracing her spark. It came easily to her again now, though she haven't fully recovered yet. She had fully accepted that she may never be truly be healthy again.

_She saw her father standing beside her in her mind's eye, smiling in amusement._

_"Experimenting with your powers ba?" he asked._

_"Ganun na nga," she admitted with a chuckle. "At least I know na it works. Mukhang mahaba haba pa yung oras kong magpractice bago ang showdown namin ni Dolores."_

_Cuatro inclined his head, the smile never leaving his face. "I know what you did in Tirad."_

_"I'm sure you do," she said with a laugh. "Ikaw pa? Di mo naman siguro ako papaluin ano?"_

_"Ano ba, Juliet? Alam ko namang mature ka na. You know what you're getting yourself into," he told her with a knowing look on his face._

_She felt herself relaxing. She really missed having her father around - he always treated her well. "Salamat."_

_He leaned forward with a small grin. "I can't wait for grandkids."_

****Wednesday, 07-28-16, 2:45 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo** **

Jay felt as tense as a bowstring when Aurora, Marge, and Tina came over to visit. She was in the living room, warming up before practicing with her knives, when they decided to drop by.

Aurora was looking at her oddly when they stepped through the front door. "Don't ask, I know what you did sa Tirad."

"Mountain sex sounds nice," mused Marge.

Jay sighed. She was sure someone already spilled the news about why they had their alone time up north. "Guys, uhaw ako eh. We had to do something."

"We're not judging naman!" Aurora sighed and crossed her arms. "It does sound nice."

Tina sat by the bay window, grinning. "I hope you guys used a condom."

Jay shrugged. "Nope. Hindi naman ata necessary. Medyo wasak yung cycle ko dahil sa physical condition ko at stress."

"Nako bhe,  _tempting fate yan_ ," Tina said. "Pwede ka parin namang mabuntis kahit irregular yung cycle mo."

A smirk played on Marge's lips. "Pero di rin naman kami gumamit nung first time namin - pati sina Tina alam kong hindi din. So no worries."

"Wala naman talaga," agreed Jay. She was so confident that her body was too battered and she couldn't get pregnant.

Then again, things always went the other way whenever she tempted fate.


	28. Ready to Go

_Jay's father took her aside a few days before she started the school year as a high school freshman._

_"Papasok ka na sa high school, ano? Ang bilis naman," Cuatro mused, sitting down beside her as she finished stacking her schoolbooks on the living room table._

_She nodded happily as she started counting the art materials she would be lugging around every day. "Mas masaya daw sa New Site, sabi ni Kuya Joven. Mas mabaho nga lang daw dahil dun sa piggery."_

_He snorted. "Nandun parin yun?" He shook his head, as if remembering what they were supposed to be talking about. "Anyway, Juliet, you're old enough to understand shit about dating."_

_"Wala namang makikipag date sa akin," she told him brightly. "Ayos lang yun."_

_"We'll see about that." Cuatro grinned and ruffled her hair. "Alam kong Juliet ang palayaw mo, anak, pero wag kang hahanap ng Romeo, ha?"_

_"'Tay, uso pa ba yung pangalan na yun?" she asked._

_His look was dark and cryptic. "Basta tatandaan mo yun, ha? Wag kang hahanap ng Romeo - yung mga romantic kuno pero pabago bago ang isip at nagpapadala lang sa bugso ng damdamin, saka yung mga mas mabilis pang magpalit ng babae kaysa sa sapatos."_

_It took her years to understand what he meant by it._

****Wednesday, 07-28-16, 7:15 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo** **

Jay couldn't help but grin as she stepped back to observe her handiwork. Goyong stared back at her, sitting at the edge of the bathtub, his damp hair dyed her usual rich red. The simple act of switching hair colors with him felt so  _bizzare,_ and yet nice at the same time. Jay had to blend in with the crowd and so had to change something, while Goyong had to be most definitely not himself. It was either that, or not go out in public together until Dolores was taken care of.

"Bagay mo naman pala," she told him, patting his cheek affectionately with a grin.

He chuckled at her words, fingers brushing through his vivid hair. "Iba parin yung dating kapag ikaw yung may pulang buhok - pero maganda ka parin kahit wala yun."

"Binobola mo naman ako," she shot back huskily.

"Aminado akong marunong akong mambola," he said, standing up ever so casually. "Pero sa tingin ko naman eh hindi ko kayang gawin sa iyo yun."

"Dapat lang." She pressed herself close to him, ignoring the scent of the hair dye that clung to him and focusing only on their shared heat.  _Nauuhaw ako at walang makakapigil sa akin_! Her hand moved to the waistband of his shabby basketball shorts, eyes glittering. "I would be... very disappointed kung binobola mo lang ako."

Goyong swallowed hard, as if struggling to control himself. "Of course not," he told her, eyes sparkling. He cleared his throat and glanced at the door. "Pero hindi ba tayo papatayin ni Rusca pag wala tayo sa hapunaan?"

Jay blinked, remembering that their friend had cooked up an extra special dinner that night for some reason. He would definitely be  _disappointed_ if they didn't show up.

"Mamaya nalang after shower?" she asked.

"Mamaya nalang  _sa shower,_ " he answered.

"Sounds like a plan," she purred as they marched out of the bathroom and down the stairs.

Rusca and Joven looked up from their spot at the foot of the stairs, where they were talking quietly to each othed. Joven beamed as a crestfallen Rusca sighed, "Patay."

"Anong patay?" Jay asked, hands on her formidable hips and eyebrows raised.

Joven grinned and put an arm around Rusca good naturedly. "May pustahan kasi kami ni Ed! Magpapakalbo ako kung di pumayag magpakulay ng buhok si Goyong. Pero pag pumayag siya..."

"Fine, fine," Rusca said with a sigh. "Magpapakalbo na ako bukas."

****Saturday, 07-31-16, 9:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo** **

Hair dripping wet and dressed only in her undergarments, Jay scrambled around her wardrobe, looking for clothes that didn't look like her usual style - dark and boyish and grungy. It was quite a challenge, as the less worn clothes she received from relatives overseas were few and at the very bottom of her pile.

It took her a while to find a lilac shirt and black jeggings that didn't look too far from what Aurora or Addie might wear. Pulling them on, she looked at the mirror, fingers brushing her newly cut, very full bangs.

She opened a drawer on her vanity table, fushing around for hair accessories that she never used. She settled on a purple headband that matched her shirt, remembering with a pang that she used to wear similar ones as a child.

Grabbing the white sneakers she rarely wore, she padded out of her room, smoothing the low collar of her shirt to hide her hickeys. It felt odd, having to go on a day out withiut her usual red lipstick and thick eyeliner, but she had to look as far as she could from Jay Hernando.

Aurora, Nena, and Addie were waiting for her downstairs. Aurora waved at her enthusiastically, a mischievous grin on her face. Even without trying to sense her emotions, Jay could feel the excitement rolling in waves from her.

"Mukhang ready na tayong lahat," announced Nena, eyes sparkling in amusement as she looked over Jay's getup. "Ready ka na bang lalong gawing career ang new look mo?"

Jay nodded, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. "Hindi ako umaatras sa laban."

"Si Nanay pa?" Aurora stood up and walked around her, scrutinizing her clothes. "Nagkaroon din ng silbi yung mga shirts at headbands na pinadala ni Mama, ano?"

Addie fumbled with her blouse thoughtfully. "Parang nagpalit lang siya ng palette yung wardrobe niya though. No wonder gusto niyong pang dagdagan."

Jay nodded dejectedly. "Sorry, medyo stereotypically grunge talaga ang mga damit ko."

Aurora patted her arm, then her hips. "Ayos lang yan, 'Nay! Kaya nga nandito kami, di ba? Kaming bahala sayo, promise."

"Don't you worry child. The amigas' got you now." Nena laughed and merrily hooked her arm around Jay's.

"Trulaloo!" Aurora began to march toward the living room, waving to Goyong who was busy talking quietly to Rusca, who was rubbing his newly shaved hair gloomily. "Nice haircut, Kuya Ed!"

Rusca stared at her glumly as the others marched behind Aurora. "Tutubo rin to, wag kayong ganyan!"

"Sure it will," Jay agreed.

Goyong caught her gaze and smiled. "Mag-iingat sila sayo, ha?"

She gave him a wink and held out her hand, embracing the spark briefly to let gold and crimson flames momentarily lick her fingers. "Mag-iingat indeed."

"Show off ka talaga," Addie said in amusement as they marched out of the house.

"If you've got it, you flaunt it," Nena shot back.

****Saturday, 07-31-16, 10:00 AM, Marquee Mall** **

"So, anong una nating agenda ngayon?" Jay asked as they stepped into the blissfully cool and air conditioned mall. She really appreciated the fact that they arrived early. Long lines were really such a hassle.

"Wardrobe muna, siyempre!" A small giggle escaped Nena's lips as she steered the group past some clothing stores. "Medyo necessity yung dresses, cardigan, sleeveless shirts at shorts na din!"

Aurora clucked her tongue as she caught Jay's  _horrified_ look. "Hep hep, necessity lahat yan! Hindi lang excuse ito para makapag shopping spree ka, promise."

"Pero ilang weeks lang naman ito, diba?" Jay asked with a small groan.

Addie raised an eyebrow at her. "Who knows how many times kang kailangang lumabas doon? And goodness knows, it's about time you went on a  _proper_ , formal date din. Better safe than sorry."

Jay raised her hands in defeat. "Okay, okay, wala akong laban. Go ahead and lead the way."

They made it to the department store, where they forced Jay to pick out a couple of casual dresses. She looked helplessly at the selection they presented to her, and at the saleslady watching them in amusement.

"Bawal yung usual grungy na style mo," Aurora explained with a teasing smile.

In spite of hersf Jay picked out four vintage dresses - red, blue, green and purple - all with lace collars and sleeves. "Just in case." Despite her usual aversion to feminine clothes, she sure that she didn't mind wearing something nice fot a night out.

"Uy, rich jewel tones look good on you," Nena said in approval. "No wonder you always wear them."

Jay felt herself glow at the comment. She murmured a quick thanks, scratching her head with a smile as they went off to pick out some shorts and a couple of sleeveless shirts, a cardigan and even one skirt.

Addie held out her arm on the way out of the department store to stop them on their tracks. She led them to a makeup stand and fished out a certain lipstick shade. "Clay Crush will flatter you, bhe," she announced, handing it over to Jay. "Nude lippie na hindi magwawash out sayo, at samahan na din ng brown eyeliner."

They eventually reached the shoe store that Nena swears by.

Getting footwear that  _fit_ her was another matter. "Pahirapan parin yung mga size 9 kahit kelan," she said in a sigh as she tried on velveteen ballet flats and a pair of black sandals.

"Ganyan talaga, 'Nay! At least pak na pak ganern ka," Aurora said happily.

Jay couldn't help herself and laughed. "Pak na pak ganern indeed. Very un-Jay na ako sa mga binili natin ngayon."

"Kahit na un-Jay ka na, I'd still tap you," Nena told her with a wink.

Aurora nodded sagely. "Grabe ka naman kasi, 'Nay! How to be you po?"

 _"Mambola nako na naman!" Nambobola na naman kayo!_ Jay ducked her head good naturedly.

"You know, I don't think they are," Addie pointed out, clearly amused.

Jay sighed. "Baka maging comic relief ako pag nagsuot na ako ng mga un-Jay na outfits."

"Believe me bhe, you won't," assured Nena. "You're going to slay."

**Bonus**

****Saturday, 07-31-16, 2** ** ****:00 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo** **

It was a fairly typical Saturday afternoon, with half the team out enjoying their weekend and the other half busy with their own activities in the house. Joven found himself sorting out some new fliers for the cafe in the living room while Rusca and Vince watched a Star Wars film.

He was so engrossed in his work that he hadn't noticed Goyong sitting beside him until he spoke up.

"Napag-usapan namin ni Jay yung nanay niyo nung minsan," the boy general said quietly.

Joven felt himself tense up. He hadn't really given their mother much thought since their last meeting with her roughly three years ago. It didn't end well and the siblings made an unspoken agreement not to see her again.

"Anong sinabi niya?" he asked curiously.

Goyong paused, as if trying to choose the right words. "Gusto niyang subukang kausapin ulit ang nanay niyo... at pumayag din siyang kausapin ko siya - para makahingi ng basbas sakanya."

"Mukhang mahihirapan kayo doon," Joven said. "People change but not everyone does. Magiingat kayo, ha?"

"Oo, pangako yun," Goyong mumbled. "Hindi naman natin malalaman hanggat di natin nasusubukan."

The front door opened at that moment and in marched Addie, Nena, then Aurora. Jay followed a few seconds later, arms laden with paper bags and a glowing smile on her face. It still surprised Joven, the way the subtle changes were so obvious on Jay. The confident way she carried herself, the slightest sway of her hips, the happier air around her - he could see it ever so clearly, the way she was so much like the sun.

"All grown up na talaga siya, ano?" he mused.

"Jay na Jay parin," Goyong pointed out with a smile.

Joven never did find out everything Jay learned in Tarlac, but he was fine with seeing the peace it brought her. "Mahal niyo talaga yung isa't isa, ano?"

Goyong nodded, cheeks turning the faintest red. "Oo naman!"

"Good. That's good." Joven didn't doubt it, anyway. He knew that Goyong would make his sister more than his queen.


	29. Arms Wide Open

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay receives good news

_She first met Aurora properly a few days before she officially started high school. She had known the Aragons ever since she was much younger, true, but she never really got to mingle much with their only daughter._

_Aurora was of an age with her own cousin, Nonong, a small and slender girl who sat in a corner of the Hernandos' living room while the adults talked. Her round eyes stared guardedly while she clutched her pink Game Boy Micro closer to her as Jay approached with a smile on her face._

_"Hi!" the latter chirped, sitting down on the red cushion beside her. "Kumain ka na ba?"_

_Aurora shook her head hesitantly before turning back to her console. "Busog pa ako."_

_Undaunted, Jay peered at her game, grinning. "Mas madali mong matatalo si Roark kung hihintayin mo munang mag-evolve si Torchic."_

_That caught the girl's attention. Aurora peeked up slowly, curiosity on her face. "Talaga?"_

_"Talaga!" Jay fished out the same console from her front pocket, her grin growing wider. She popped off the game cartridge and showed it to the younger girl. "Naglalaro din ako ng Pokemon."_

_Aurora's eyes widened almost imperceptibly. "Bakit ganyan itsura ng Game Boy mo?" she asked, fingers hesitantly brushing at the edges of the indigo and white faceplate._

_Jay pursed her lips, remembering how her classmates mocked her for coming from a fairly well off family. "Binili ni Papa nung may conference siya sa - sa Japan," she squeaked, shoulders slumping as she prepared for the o ther girl to declare her disgust at her._

_Defying expectations, Aurora leaned forward with interest instead. "Cool." A smile, bright and true, graced her face. And like that, her guard was down and she started talking about her game, asking for advice from the older girl._

_Jay found herself mirroring the girl. It seemed like she had made a new friend._

**Wednesday, 08-03-16, 10:00 AM, Angeles City Proper**

"Mukhang bumalik na yung dati mong _energy_ , ano?" Tina noted as she and Jay walked through the heritage area, the lazy sun peeking over the pearly blanket of clouds every now and then. They had taken the day off from training and honing their powers that day, having learned a long time ago that overusing their powers wasn't a good idea.

Jay grinned as she smoothed down her sleeveless shirt, not feeling as self conscious as she would have had once. "Medyo. Madali parin akong hingalin pag minsan, pero keri naman. Nakakadagdag din kasi sa confidence yung ginagawa natin eh - practice at improvement." She held back one thing she noted lately though - the fact that some of her spark seemed to pool protectively in her abdomen whenever she tried to access her powers.

"True, true." The corners of Tina's lips lifted ever so slightly as she crossed her arms. "Parang mas madali na nga itong ginagawa natin ngayon kaysa nung naguumpisa tayo nung June. Hindi ko na nga kailangang magconcentrate masyado para dito sa practice natin."

Jay's thoughts strayed back to Mayang, and her words before she faded away. "Sabi ni Mayang sa atin noon, kailangan lahat tayong lima para talunin si Dolores, di ba? Ikaw, ako, si Marge, si Aurora, saka si Celeste?"

Tina tilted her head in acknowledgement, an eyebrow arched. "Oo, bakit? May problema ba?"

"Actually, kabaligtaran siya ng problema." Jay tucked down a lock of stray raven hair behind her ear. "Kahit na sinabi ni Mayang na ako yung nandun sa _prophecy_ \- yung mas maganda at mas powerful na babaylan daw? - I still feel confident na makakasama ko din kayo."

"Of course. Walang iwanan, diba?" Tina patted her shoulder good naturedly. "We're all in this together, wag kang mag-alala."

**Saturday, 08-05-16, 11:00 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Her period was delayed for two days already. She didn't exactly feel anxious because of, as her body had taken so much beating lately that it was bound to throw her cycle off balance. If she was healthier, she was sure that she would have been the slightest bit worried already.

The door creaked open and Goyong stepped in, cups of hot chocolate in hand, the fresh hickeys of the day standing out against the pale skin on his neck. He cracked a smile as he sat down beside her, eyes looking over her own hickeys and her fresh clothes. "Malalim ata ang iniisip mo," he said, sounding every bit like someone out of an era long gone. He leaned forward and smoothed her hair tenderly before handing her one of the cups. "May bumabagabag ata sa iyo."

She smiled and took a sip, licking her upper lip ever so slowly afterward and enjoying the way he watched her, mesmerized. "Hindi naman sa _nababagabag_ ako," she explained. "Ngayon ko lang talaga narealize na totoo yung sinasabi nila - na mawawasak talaga yung period mo kapag stressed at strained yung katawan mo."

He gazed at her with mild curiosity, sipping his drink to mask the sudden silence. "Delayed ka?" he asked. Beyond his passive look, the tilt of his head, the slight change in his eyes, and even the subtle quirking of his lips were enough to tell her that his mind was racing with possibilities.

She finished her drink and set down the cup on her bedside table, watching him cautiously. "Oo, pero normal lang yun! Promise. Alam mo naman yun nangyari sa katawan ko lately. Medyo... torturous. Kaya ayun, delayed ako." She _can't_ be pregnant, though she wasn't going to be against the thought.

He set down his empty cup beside hers, eyes absolutely _smoldering_. He shifted so that he was sitting right in front of her, his fingers slowly tugging her shirt up. "Pero paano kung... buntis ka?" he asked before kissing her navel, sending shudders of pleasure down her spine.

"It sounds very appealing," she admitted. Her memories veered right back to her miscarriage in her past life and how much it crushed her then. "Gusto ko rin, pero I don't think so."

"Sana," he whispered, tugging her shirt off yet again. "Sana."

She reclined languidly as his lips pressed against her navel yet again, his breath warm against her skin. "Round six?" she asked breathlessly.

"Round six," he agreed.

**Monday, 08-08-16, 9:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Waking up late didn't trouble her. Her body was recuperating, after all, and it needed all the rest it could get - especially after all the nightly activities she was now adding to her schedule. Even the constant feeling of exhaustion wasn't a big deal anymore, as she wasn't exactly as fit as a fiddle anymore. She barely noticed that it was actually fairly worse the past few days. The mild feeling of nausea that began to build up as she walked down the stairs was fairly new, though. Her stomach felt like it was roiling, her head buzzing, her vision spinning ever so slightly.

Midway downstairs, she spotted Addie setting down a plate of fried eggs on the dining room table, dressed for a day out. The latter looked up as she approached, a worried look flashing subtly on her face. "Ayos ka lang ba?" she asked in alarm.

"Puyat lang. You know,  _nightly_ sexytimes with the boyfriend," she said with a faint laugh.

Addie shook her head with a small smile. "Your boyfriend will kill me if I don't feed you," she said.

Jay nodded, stepping down the stairs and making her way to the table. She was near - oh so near - when the scent of eggs struck her and sent a vile wave of nausea coursing through her system. Her knees wobbled and she had to grab one of the solid wood chairs to steady herself.  _"Fuck,_ anong nangyayari?"

Her stomach lurched all of a sudden, sending her retching. Holding her breath, she stumbled to the kitchen, heading for the sink. Her brain couldn't process anything but the nausea - not even Addie's alarmed words made it through the haze in her head.

She didn't get far before her knees gave out. A pair of delicate hands caught her though. A small corner of Jay's mind automatically noted that it was Addie, but she couldn't process much beyond that.

All she could do was throw up.

It took only a few seconds for her head to clear enough for her to realize that she made a mess of not only her jogging pants, but also Addie's dress. Her head and stomach hurt, but now her chest was doing a very painful drumroll too. Slumping down on the floor, she let out a small, shaky breath.

"Jay, hindi ka  _ayos,_ " Addie told her sternly.

"Yung amoy ng itlog," she said shakily, wiping the back of her mouth with her hand. "May sakit ata ako - di naman ako ganito dati."

Addie narrowed her eyes. "When was the last time na nagkaroon ka ng period?"

Jay frowned, counting. "July six pa, before ng Tarlac. Pero normal lang na masira cycle ko - may sakit ako eh."

Addie shook her head and motioned for her to wait. Well, she wasn't going anywhere until her head cleared. She was certainly starting to feel better again, though the thought of eggs was enough to make her feel queasy.

It took a while for Addie to return, all cleaned up and wearing more casual clothes. She clutched a small box, which she handed to Jay. "Pregnancy test yan. I had a scare nung minsan so bumili ako ng ilan. Clean up and use it,  _please._ "

**Monday, 08-08-16, 10:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

She delayed looking at the results for as long as she could. After cleaning and washing her soiled clothes, she lingered in the warm shower first, scrubbing every inch of herself clean. It wasn't like she didn't want to be pregnant. As a matter of fact, she wanted to have a child, now that she thought about it. It was just that it felt  _impossible_ with the state that her body was in. She didn't want to be disappointed.

Still, she couldn't deflect the matter for too long - it just wasn't in her nature. Finally stepping out of the shower, she reached for the kit lying not far from her towel. She took a deep breath, bracing herself for disappointment, before taking a peak.

It was  _positive._

Her knees almost gave out yet again, and she had to sit at the edge of the built in marble bathtub, trembling ever the slightest. She stared at the kit for a long time, mind running at full speed. No wonder something was telling her to go to Tirad - it was the most probable time that the child was conceived. It all made sense, in a way - her nausea, the exhaustion, her delayed period. Even the odd way her spark pooled in her stomach was clear to her now. Her magic was protecting her child in its own way. She was going to be a  _mother_.

**Monday, 08-08-16, 11:30 AM, Angeles University Foundation Medical Center**

Her mind was still a blissful blur when Addie drove her to get a check up. Dr. delos Angeles, the Ob Gyne, confirmed what the test kit told her already.

"Checking your medical records, mukhang possibleng delicate yung pregnancy mo," the latter was saying. She patted Jay's hand reassuringly, a wide smile on her face. She handed her a prescription and a schedule for her next checkup. "Mukhang malaking problema yung puso mo. Don't worry though. Extra ingat lang at alaga ha? Magpatingin ka agad pag may nararamdaman kang iba."

Jay mumbled her thanks before meeting up with Addie outside. The latter also had her own check up prior to Jay and had insisted on shouldering the expenses for the latter. It was quite awkward, especially since they haven't exactly gotten along well before, but it was thoughtful nevertheless.

"How did it go?" Addie asked as they made their way out of the hospital.

"Ayos lang," Jay said, feeling queasy again. She rubbed her stomach before her hand settled on her chest, which was aching again. "I'm craving for chicken, pero kailangan munang malaman ni Goyong to."

"Samahan na kita," insisted Addie. "Baka ano pang mangyari sayo."

Jay didn't complain. "I would appreciate that," she admitted. The thought of Dolores sent a quiet shiver kf fear down Jay's spine, quickly burned away by determination. She would never let  _anything,_ let alone that witch, harm her child.

**Monday, 08-08-16, 12:00 PM, Tea-rad Pass**

She caught up with Goyong in the staff room just as he finished his lunch break.

"Buti napadaan ka? May nangyari bang masama?" he asked, taking her hand as they sat on the dining table.

"Actually, may good news ako," she told him with a smirk. She pressed his hand against her stomach, keeping it in place. "Naconfirm ko na. Congrats, daddy."

"Daddy..." His eyes widened as he realized what she just implied, tearing up. "Buntis ka?"

"Oo. Sinamahan na din akong magpacheck up ni Addie so sure na sure na." She leaaned against him, still feeling quite overwhelmed. "Highest possibility eh nung nasa Tirad tayo."

He smiled, unable to find words to express what he was feeling. He wrapped his arms around her instead, pulling her close, using it to let her know what he was feeling about the news.

All she sensed was love.


	30. Bulletproof Heart

_She was a week into her freshman year when she met Miguel. He was on the same sophomore class as Joven and Rusca, so he wasn't hard to miss, especially with his easy smile and touseled hair. Girls in Jay's class sighed and giggled whenever he passed, and she had to admit that she couldn't stop staring at him - especially when he inclined his head to acknowledge her and began to talk to one of her only friends in class, Sarah._

_"Kanina mo pa tinititigan si Santos," Rusca said grumpily during their joint lunch break, stuffing fries into his mouth with alarming speed._

_Jay glared at him before turning back to her food. "Cute lang siya," she mumbled quickly._

_Of course, her gaze couldn't help but follow Miguel around the canteen. She watched him out of the corner of her eye, feeling a childish flutter in her stomach as he beamed at some girls who greeted him before making his way out of the canteen._

_"Kahit sa classroom namin maraming nababaliw sakanya," Joven said boredly before turning to his book._

_Jay felt her cheeks flush as she poked her food, telling herself off for crushing on him. She was too ugly, too fat, too much of a loser for someone like him to notice._

_Rusca huffed. "Jay, type mo pala yung mga ganun no? Kilala ko yan, paiiyakin ka lang niya."_

_"Ed," Joven said a little sharply._

_Rusca shrugged. "Just telling the truth."_

_"Crush lang naman to," Jay said with a shrug, smiling brightly at them._

_It wasn't like there would be anything to it, really._

**Wednesday, 08-10-16, 11:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

It was still quite difficult to believe - in a good way - that she was pregnant. The past couple of days passed in a blissful haze as she cycled between a day of chores and careful training and a night out with Goyong in between bouts of nausea. Both of them had been quite excited over the prospect of welcoming a child, especially now that they were both aware of what happened to her as Poleng. The memories of her miscarriage kept triggering a quiet flutter of fear in her - fear that she quickly stomped down with the help of the fearless bravado that had served her well since college.

Goyong called her over his lunch break that day while she was busy preparing her own lunch - no eggs included, thankfully. "Kinakamusta ko lang yung magandang dragon," he said in a singsong voice.

She felt a smile coming up as she began to heat up the pan for some fried chicken. "Same old, same old," she said with a small laugh. "Grabe ka, Henerahhhl, kinikilig naman ako sayo."

He chuckled, the sound sending a tingle down her spine. "Handa ka na bang makita ulit yung nanay mo mamaya?"

 _Kelan ba ako magiging handa para diyan?_ She steeled herself though, steeling herself with the armor of courage she had wrapped around her persona after her mother went to jail. It had always served her well, and will always do so. "Kailangan maging handa ako kahit hindi. Que makikipag ayos siya o hindi, tanggap ko naman. Basta pagbalik natin mamaya... sabihin na natin sa iba yung tungkol sa pagbubuntis ko, ha?"

"Basta ba yan yung gusto mo," he told her warmly.

"Huy, kumain ka na," she reminded him, feeling a smile forming on her face as she began to cook. "Bawal ka ring magutom!"

"Masusunod po, kamahalan!" He let out that frustratingly attractive little laugh of his. "Ikaw din, wag papagutom, ha? Ingatan mo sarili mo."

"Promise yan. Ikaw din, ha?" Her stomach grumbled at the smell of the cooking chicken.

It took them a while more to end the call, what with their light flirting, but the moment Jay did, the sound of someone calling out by the gates made her jump. Confused, she turned off the stove and headed for the living room, peering over the glass window to see what was going on.

A short, willowy woman was peering through the gate, as if waiting. Jay narrowed her eyes, wondering if it was Dolores in disguise or something. Embracing her spark and patting her navel lightly, she observed the woman and her surroundings, looking for _any_ trace of dark magic.

She saw nothing suspicious whatsoever.

After a quick stretch, she stepped out of the house warily, wondering what the stranger wanted. "Good - good morning po," she called out as she crossed the garden, never letting go of her spark. The way it wrapped around her belly reassured her, told her that nothing would go wrong. "Sino po sila?"

"Good morning, hija. Dito nga ba nakatira si Adela Reyes?" the woman asked, flashing her a bright smile. Up close, she seemed old enough to be Jay's mother, slender and fair and petite. She was quite pretty in the way that would have intimidated Jay not too long ago. "Ito kasi yung binigay niyang address - ako nga pala si Carla, mother niya."

Jay smiled, warily opening the gate. "Dito nga po siya nakatira pero wala po siya eh. May lakad po ata."

Carla nodded in understanding, her face falling. "Ganun ba? Sayang, I wanted to surprise her pa naman. Di bale na, babalik na lang ako." She reached out to pat Jay's cheek as her face brightened up again. "Sige, I'll get going na. Smile lang - ang ganda mo pa naman."

"Sige po, ingat din po." Jay couldn't help but smile at the compliment while the back of her mind wondered what it would have been like to have a proper mother.

**Wednesday, 08-10-16, 3:30 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Joven was the first to arrive home from work, hair touseled from the light breeze outside. There was a solemn look in his face as he eyed Jay, who threw the doors open for him. "Sigurado na ba kayo ni Goyong diyan sa balak niyo?" he asked as he stepped in. "Alam mo naman si Mama, hindi na siya  _reasonable_."

"I have to try. Wala namang masama," she told him firmly.

He looked like he was truly seeing her for the first time. "You've really grown, ano?" Pausing, he rummaged in his backpack. "May ibibigay ako sayo para  _good luck_."

 _Good luck._ She needed as much of it as she can get. "Ano yan?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.

Joven smiled and held out his hand. "Nahanap ko kasi sa basement nung minsan yung paboritong kwintas noon ni Lola Luding so pinalinis ko para maibigay ko sayo."

Luding - or Lourdes Hernando - was their grandmother who passed away before they were born. She always wore a certain necklace in the pictures she had at home.

It was now nestled in a velvet lined wooden box, glimmering and twinkling. It was a plain necklace made of white gold, its simplicity contrasting with the intricate pendant. Five small roses each set with equally tiny gems of a different color - red, blue, green, yellow, and violet - were intertwined with delicately shaped leaves.

"Kuya..." Speechless, all Jay could do was gape at the necklace.

"Bagay sayo yan," mused Joven. He reached out to put it around her neck. A proud smile adorned his face. "I think it suits you. Maganda pero may laban. Gaya ng rosas."

She smiled sadly, wondering how her mother would react at the sight of it.

**Wednesday, 08-10-16, 4:30 PM, Pampanga Provincial Jail**

"Medyo kinakabahan ako," she told Goyong as they stepped into the premises, fingers trembling lightly as she fumbled with her new necklace. For a  _fearless fool,_ it was so difficult to hide her anxiety when it reared its ugly head.

Goyong shuddered. "Kung kinakabahan ka, may dahilan na din ako para hindi mapalagay."

She understood. After all, it wasn't everyday that she had trouble keeping her fear in check. She took his hand and led the way, back rigid, chest fluttering.

Having already made their appointment in advance, getting help for the visit wasn't difficult. The policeman who led them to the visiting room seemed quite hesitant, though. "Medyo distant parin si Bella sa lahat," he explained. "Hindi kami sure na magiging civil siya sa inyong mag-asawa."

 _Mag-asawa?_ Jay's amusement quickly fizzled out, though.

The policeman and his partner stationed themselves outside the visiting room as Goyong shut the door behind him.

Isabella Rivera-Hernando, better known as Bella, was seated behind a table, staring st them. She hadn't changed much since her husband's death and her subsequent descent into alcoholism and drug addiction. Her long hair - lustrous in her youth - was a mess, her once lovely face sallow and gaunt to match the weight she had lost.

"Ano pang kailangan mo, Poleng?" She was the one who coined that nickname for Jay in the present and insisted on using it despite her daughter's discomfort.

"Gusto ko lang mangamusta. Matagal na din kitang di nakikita..." Jay trailed off at the ice in Bella's gaze. Despite the abuse she endured, she had to admit that she still loved her mother. "Ikakasal na kasi ako..."

"Ikakasal?" Bella's sullen gaze trailed to Goyong, who had assumed the stance of a battle hardened soldier.

Jay nodded, poised to use her powers if things got ugly. "Mahal namin yung isa't isa at masaya kami."

The boy general's eyes were smoke and mist.  _"Gregorio del Pilar_ po. Fiance niya. Gusto ko po sanang humingi ng basbas niyo." Even his voice harkened back to the old days.

"At bakit ko naman ibibigay ito sa inyo ng basura kong anak?" spat Bella, making Jay go stiff.

Goyong was unfazed. "Hindi siya basura. Natatangi po ang anak niyo - higit pa sa isang brilyante, sa ginto't pilak, sa araw at buwan at mga tala."

Bella rose to her feet, trembling, her teeth bared in displeasure. "Dapat namatay nalang siya noon. Hindi dapat maging masaya ang mga katulad niya. Buhay pa sana si Cuatro kung hindi dahil sakanya." She lunged at them deftly, clawlike hands outstretched.

As if she had prepared for it, Jay used her powers to enhance herself, speeding herself up to pull her mother away from Goyong as her nails dug into his skin, drawing blood. The policemen heard the commotion and stepped in, further restraining Bella.

The woman's incoherrent yells rang through the air as she was dragged away.

"May mga bagay talagang hindi mababago ng panahon," whispered Jay, tears welling up in her eyes.

Goyong took her in his arms, trembling as the stratches on his skin began to fade. He was a river, powerful yet soothing, always there to wash away her pain and troubles. "Alam ko. Pero sana'y hindi ka maniwala sa mga sinabi niya."

 _Basura daw ako._  She was the sun. She was love and war. Light and fire. Death and rebirth. "Hinding hindi na ako magpapaapekto sa mga sinasabi niya."

**Wednesday, 08-10-16, 8:15 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

The dining table was crowded as the entire team and the _amigas_ were there for dinner. After the quick rollercoaster ride of emotions that the jail visit to her mother brought, being somewhere warm and accepting and familiar made Jay happy. The food and good conversation was a bonus, really.

She had news to break to them, though.

"Guys, may kailangan kayong malaman," Goyong announced midway through the meal, as jittery as one of the child patients her father used to have. "Medyo importante to."

Angela raised her Mikmi-smeared eyebrows. "Natalo ka ba sa pustahan?"

"Tungkol kay Dolores ba?" Manuel asked, leaning forward curiously.

"Actually... hindi." Jay grinned despite the slight nausea that began to build up. Her fingers tapped on her necklace, shaking ever the slightest. "Good news, actually. Buntis ako."

The table fell into stunned silence.

Aurora was the first to speak up. "Ha! Tama nga ako! Gumawa kayo ng baby sa Tirad!"

Everyone else erupted into genuine congratulations, their excitement slowly growing. Jay sought her brother, though, apprehension eating her up as she caught his eye. He beamed at her, proud and pleased, giving her a small nod and a thumbs up.

His approval meant so much more to her, more than anything that even the slightest positive acknowledgement she could ever have gotten from her mother. Even without that woman in her life, she knew that she was happy and content, beautiful and loved, powerf and confident.


	31. Dead!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay gets bad news.

_The last time Jay saw her father alive was on a hot August afternoon._

_She had just come home from school with her brother, her hair a mess from her trip, socks dusty from the daily grime in the campus. Their parents' voices wafted through the house as they traversed the modest, slightly unkempt garden, making both siblings fidget in discomfort. Both of them were well aware of the growing tension between their parents, what with their mother's steadily ascending forays into alcoholic beverages coupled with her rapidly increasing desperation for more of their father's attention and time._

_"Aalis ka nanaman? Aalis? Eh kakauwi mo lang galing sa trabaho mo ah!" Bella's screech was enough to make her children cringe. "Ako yung asawa mo tapos uunahin mo pa yung kapatid mo? Mas inuuna mo pa nga anak mo kaysa sa akin eh!"_

_"I spend so much time with you, Bella, pero alam mo namang hindi lang sayo umiikot yung munda ng mga tao sa paligid mo. I need to spend time with our children, and with my sister." Cuatro's voice was so conversational and yet the anger in it was so easy to hear._

_Jay watched Joven open the door slowly, warily, the soft creak enough to break up their parents' argument. The couple stared at their children, who stared back at them. Jay could almost taste the tension in the room, feel it settle in her bones like a smothering blanket._

_A few seconds passed in silence before Cuatro decided to break it. "Sige, magkikita na kami ni Joanne. Kasama ata niya asawa niya - sigurado kang ayaw mong sumama?"_

_"Alam mo namang buwisit na buwisit ako sa kapatid mo," a dour Bella replied._

_Flashing her a pained smile, Cuatro turned to his children and ruffled their hair. "Uuwi din ako ng maaga." He turned to Jay with a genuine smile. "Ariyan taya pa ing biology homework mu." Tatapusin pa natin ang biology homework mo. Grabbing his bag with a merry whistle, he strode out of the house, not knowing that he would never return._

**Thursday, 08-11-16, 7:30 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

It was going to be one of _those_ days. Her entire body felt heavy and so exhausted, she was hungry, craving for chicken, and felt nauseaous all at the same time. She was debating between staying in bed and dragging herself downstairs for breakfast when the door creaked open. Goyong marched in, dressed for a day of work, carrying a tray full of breakfast with no eggs in sight. He flashed her a anxious smile as he set the tray down on the bedside table.

"Anong sumanib sayo?" she asked, hoisting herself up despite the nausea that churned her stomach.

His smile widened as he sat down beside her, eyes gleaming with concern. "Alam kong masama yung pakiramdam mo ngayon. Mas maganda na sigurong dito ka na muna mag-almusal para makapagpahinga ka."

She mirrored his smile, feeling her cheeks turn red. "Malalate ka pa sa trabaho mo niyan eh. Boss mo parin kami ni Kuya Joven and I declare na bawal ang mga late."

His laughter was punctuated by quick knocks on the door. Joven peered in, eyes downcast and lips trembling ever so slightly. "Tumawag sa akin yung sa Provincial Jail," he said slowly.

"Teka, napagusapan na natin yung nangyari kahapon, di ba?" Jay asked. Dread seemed to seep through the air, slowly spreading, reminding her of a fateful day almost ten years ago. _Fuck, wag naman sana._

He stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him, clutching his phone with trembling hands. "Tumawag sila kasi nakita daw nila si Mama kanina..." He paused, as if bracing himself. "Nakita daw nilang nakabigti sa selda niya."

Shock and disbelief struck Jay, leaving little room for the pain that she should have been feeling. "Nakabigti...?" she squeaked.

"Paano siya nakapagpasok ng tali o ano pa man na pwedeng gamitin para magbigti? Di ba bawal yun?" asked Goyong. He slowly shifted from his customary slouch to a more formal position, eyes as sharp as an eagle's.

"Hindi ko din alam kung pano." Joven's voice broke as tears welled up in his eyes. "Pinapapunta ako doon para pagusapan yung  _burol_."

"Sasama sana ako pero masama yung pakiramdam ko." Jay's hands aggressively began to wipe off the budding tears. As much as her mother hated and mistreated her, she still loved the woman. She loved too much, she supposed. It was her nature.

Joven rubbed the bridge of his nose, a soft sigh escaping his lips.  _"Mas masanting pin siguru nung keni naka pa." Mas maganda nga siguro kung dito ka na muna._ "Heneral, samahan mo na muna siya. Ako nang bahala sa absence mo."

Jay watched him leave before turning to Goyong. "I'm sorry," she sobbed. "Hindi lang hormones ito."

"Alam ko," the boy general whispered, pulling her into a hug. "Mahal mo parin ang nanay mo sa kabila ng mga ginawa niya sa iyo. Wag kang matakot lumuha. Hindi kita huhusgahan."

**Thursday, 08-11-16, 9:30 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Hers was the gruelling task of contacting maternal relatives - most of them currently in Tarlac - both over the phone and social media. It was a bit gruelling, as she and her brother fell out of touch with a few of them after they filed their mother's case, calling them ungrateful and thankless. The others were quite distant from the start, never having liked Bella in the first place.

Luckily, there was a pleasant surprise in her last phone call - a call that was made to her mother's aunt.

The voice on the other line was very familiar. "Hi, this is Celeste. Busy si Lola Mila, may kailangan po ba sila?"

"Celeste... Bernal?" Jay yelped.

"Jay Hernando?" Celeste replied in a singsong voice. "Yup, ako nga to. Bakit alam mo number ng lola ko?"

"Kasi tita siya ng nanay ko." Well, nothing was supposed to be a surprise for Jay anymore but there she was, struggling to process another one. "Kung lola mo ang kapatid ng lola ko, ibig sabihin magpinsan tayo?"

"Second cousins," confirmed Celeste.

"Can you do me a favor?  _Fuck,_ ang dami ko nang utang sayo." Jay shook her head, memories of the trip to Tarlac and their compressed lessons on babaylan magic fresh in her head. "Ibabalita kasi sana namin sakanya na patay si Mama."

A stunned silence followed her words.

"I'm so sorry, Jay," Celeste finally said after a while. "I think you mentioned noon na may issues kayo but I'm sure it's still a blow sayo."

Jay sighed. "It is. Pakisabi nalang sa lola mo, ha?" She paused, then added, "Also, buntis ako."

"...buntis?" Celeste sighed. "Kaya ba ng katawan mo?"

"Medyo maselan pero kaya naman." Jay checked her watch, surprised by the time. "Nyemas, kailangan na naming magkita ni Kuya Joven maya maya. Usap nalang tayo ulit."

"Ingat ka," answered Celeste. "Subukan kong sumama pag pumunta sila sa burol. Sa tutal, nasa Maynila hanggang next week si Ploo."

**Thursday, 08-11-16, 10:30 AM, La Pieta Memorial Park**

Reaching the wake was as easy as leaving the house, passing by an apartment complex, and crossing the highway.

It didn't make it easier.

Hand in hand with Goyong, Jay made her way to the foyer, where Joven was talking to a couple of policemen. She paused, patting her black dress in place, before approaching him. She can't look too uncomfortable in it.

"I'm sorry at medyo natagalan," she told her brother. "Nahilo ako ng unti kanina."

Joven patted her shoulder awkwardly. "Sigurado kang ayos ka na ngayon?"

Jay nodded, turning to Goyong, a coy smile on her face despite her grief. "Hindi naman ata ako makakalabas ng bahay kung hindi."

"Akala mo naman mapipigilan kita pag may gusto kang gawin," he muttered.

"Except kung makakasama yun sa anak natin," she shot back. She had barely known that she was pregnant for days and yet she was already willing to do  _everything_ just to protect the child she was carrying. She loved too much, indeed - and it wasn't a bad thing.

**Thursday, 08-11-16, 1:00 PM, La Pieta Memorial Park**

The first influx of visitors to the wake finally arrived. The Hernandos and Goyong were joined by Marge and Tina, followed by Paco who just finished his classes for the day, and a handful of relatives - which included Celeste, as promised.

"Are you sure na nagpakamatay talaga ang mama mo?" Marge asked softly during a lull in the conversation. She eyed the coffin anxiously.

"Nakita daw nilang nakabigti eh." Jay winced at the thought of her mother hanging lifeless in her prison cell.

Tina shook her head. "Subukan mo siyang tignan habang... active... yung powers mo."

Celeste nodded grimly. "There's something suspicious sa katawan niya."

"Tangina, anong meron?" Jay stood up as her curiosity quickly got the best of her, her feet dragging her to the coffin while her stomach churned. She activated her powers, revelling in the comfort it brought her.

It wasn't for long, though.

Gazing at the agonized face of her mother's corpse and the marks on her neck, Jay saw a thick haze of darkness. She didn't need much probing to confirm it. Dolores surely had a hand on her death.

"Fuckitty fuck. Alam ba niyang buhay ako? Nyeta," she said in quiet horror.

**Thursday, 08-11-16, 8:00 PM, La Pieta Memorial Park**

The rest of the team and the  _amigas w_ ere already there by the time Aurora arrived - and she wasn't alone. Beside her was her mother, Zen.

"Tita, akala ko next month pa yung uwi mo," Joven chirped as they scrambled around to greet her.

"Oo nga, tita, grabeng unexpected yan." Nonong's eyes flitted between mother and daughter, finally figuring out  _why_ Aurora was an Aragon.

Zen grinned, messing up his hair. "It was supposed to be a surprise pero well... ako ang nasurprise at namatay na pala si  _emotionless fish!"_

Jay yelped at the slur but did not call her godmother out. After all, she knew how angry Zen was after finding out about what she did to her children. "Kahit nga po kami nabigla."

"Anyway, dala ko na rin naman yung pasalubong niyo for the year so..." Zen held out her hands.

Making their way to the sleeping quarters, Jay found herself walking beside Au. "I'm glad nandito si Ninang," she said fervently. "May mapapagtanungan ako ng maayos tungkol sa pagbubuntis."

"Please don't kill me, 'Nay. Sinabi ko na sa kanya na buntis ka," Aurora told her.

"I won't," Jay promised.

Zen started handing out the usual clothes and before moving to the stack of bags for Joven and shoes for Nonong. "You know the drill - feel free to share some to your friends."

Jay's eyes widened at the slim boxes of liquid lipsticks she got, taking in the reds and pinks and plums and mauves and browns. "Colourpop at Sephora? Ang mahal ng mga to ah! Ninang, you didn't have to."

"Not expensive in the US of A, nope," Zen told her, clucking her tongue. "Besides, parang extended family ko na din kayo."

"Nakow, si Tita talaga nagabala pa," Nonong said with a shaky laugh, gaze moving toward Aurora.

Joven nodded. "Oo nga po, nakakahiya naman."

Aurora crossed her arms, leaning against the doorframe. "Alam niyo namang useless yung mga angal niyo, diba?"

"Exactly." Zen turned to all of them with a giggle. "Now, ipakilala niyo na sa akin ang mga lovelifes niyo! Gusto ko na silang makita."

Nonong yelped. "Mauna na po sina Ate Jay at Kuya Joven! Lalo na't magkakaanak na yung isa diyan oh."

"Chicken," Joven hissed jovially in his ear as he led the way out.

Jay followed their little group with a small grin, feeling at peace despite her grief. No matter how much love she had for her mother, she knew it was never returned in any form. She found that she didn't mind it. After all, there were other people she loved and loved her back, and made her feel on top of the world.

She was the sun - light and love and life.


	32. 1995

_She barely closed her eyes for a quick nap when her mother woke her roughly, shaking her shoulders, nails digging into her smooth skin. Bella's eyes were swollen from tears, her hair a mess, her broken phone lying on the floor._

_"Kasalanan mo to!" she yelled, hurling the girl off the couch and onto the floor. "Kung hindi siya nagmadaling umuwi, edi sana buhay pa siya?"_

_Jay cried out, unable to comprehend as her mother kicked her in the ribs repeatedly. She could hear Joven yelling as he tried to restrain their mother, only to be shoved away._

_It took a while for Bella's rage to subside, for her to resort to sobbing and crying over her husband's fate - instant death after a car crash. Not even his sister, Joanne, or her husband, Lucio, survived - not that Bella cared, of course._

_Her father was never coming back home._

**Friday, 08-12-16, 6:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Her body felt heavy and sore. Her stomach heaved and lurched as she tried to shift from her bed with the lightest of groans. Her chest tightened and burned as a sleeping Goyong mumbled incoherrently and pulled her closer.

Closing her eyes again, she focused on his warmth, filtering out the physical pain as her brain finally found itself focusing on the previous day's events. Her mother was gone, probably killed by Dolores. She had accepted it, but it doesn't make things any easier. Hot tears welled up in her eyes, spilling over quickly. It wasn't just because of the hormones, she was sure.

"Jay? May masakit ba?" Goyong's sleepy voice was quiet, controlled. His fingers brushed hair away from her face before stroking her back.

"Hindi parin ako makapaniwalang wala na si Mama. Kagagawan pa nga ata ni Dolores," she sobbed.

"Ilabas mo lang lahat yan," he told her quietly. "Mas mabuti na ang lumuha ka kaysa ikimkim mo yang nararamdaman mo."

It took her a while to compose herself long enough to sit up, struggling against her protesting body. _"Shit,"_ she groaned, stretching languidly, well aware of Goyong's eyes following her movements. Despite the undercurrent of sorrow running through her, a small grin quirked up her lips at the sight of him. "Do you like what you're seeing?"

His lips lifted in a knowing smirk as he nodded, eyes never leaving her face. "Kahit hindi ko pa nakikita."

"Utut mo." She pinched his cheek as she threw on a shirt and fumbled for her slippers.

It was going to be a long day ahead.

**Sunday, 08-14-16, 10:00 AM, La Pieta Memorial Park**

It was raining that day.

Thunder rumbled overhead as the funeral procession made its way through the damp cemetery grounds. The smell of petrichor mingled with that of smoke and flowers, lending to the atmosphere of melancholy.

Jay did not weep. She had already spent the past few days shedding the tears she could spare, after all. The sadness would always be there, similar yet different to what she felt over her father's death, over the truth behind Poleng.

"At least... hindi na siguro siya bitter," Joven said, struggling to suppress a chuckle.

"Siguro nga may  _peace_ na siya, kahit papano," agreed Jay.

"Grabe naman yang bunso ni Bella. Kasama daw niya sa bahay nila yung boyfriend niya," an aunt sighed loudly from behind them.

"True," a younger aunt sniffed. "Yung mga bata talaga ngayon! Buntis na nga daw."

Zen, Aurora's mom, let out an exasperated sigh. "Piss off. My goddaughter is a good person - di gaya ng emotionless fish na nanay niya."

Jay exchanged anxious glances with Goyong, who raised an eyebrow. He didn't seem offended, at least. There would always be people who would judge them, and she didn't care anymore.  _Wala naman kaming ginagawang masama sakanila_.

They finally reached the freshly dug grave. The rain had slowed to a drizzle when they began to lower the coffin. She did not weep, not even when Joven started sniffing, murmuring something to Angela. Her eyes were fixed on the white coffin slowly being taken into the earth's yawning embrace.

She and Joven each threw a white rose into the grave when it was time, followed by some of her mother's cousins and aunts and uncles. She caught a number of them staring - most merely curious, some judging. They were starting to see her not for the girl that once made the local news after being almost murdered by her mother. They were seeing her for the woman she had grown into, and everything - both good and bad - that came with it.

**Sunday, 08-14-16, 11:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

As customary, a few relatives dropped by the house for  _merienda_. The entire team acted as a gracious host, which Jay appreciated. She was feeling nauseous again, her pregnancy causing her to feel tired faster than she used to.

Angela meekly sat down beside her with a small smile. "Totoo pala sinabi ni Joven, ano? Jusko, napaka- _demanding_ naman niyang pagbununtis mo."

Jay patted her abdomen, knowing it was too early for a baby bump and yet feeling excited about it already. She would never let anyone - not even Dolores - harm her child. "Maselan lang siguro dahil mukhang permanent na yung sakit ko sa puso. Pero ayos lang naman."

"Ate, narinig ko yung sinabi nila - na baka alam ni Dolores na buhay ka." The concern on Angela's face was hard to miss.

There it was again, the quiet tremor of fear that she had to quickly stomp down. She was afraid of no witch anymore. She can't afford it. "Bakit di niya ako labanan ng harapan? Natatakot ba siya sa akin?"

"Most likely." Celeste sat down on her other side with a small huff, a hand on her baby bump.  _"Pucha,_ ang bigat na ng batang to."

"Ang laki nga ng baby mo, Ate. Kelan ka nga ba manganganak?" Angela asked, looking bemused.

"Due na ako next week," Celeste said giddily. "Saktong uuwi boyfriend ko galing Maynila."

Angela giggled. "Exciting ata yan!"

"Bakit nga ba siya palaging nagbibiyahe?" Jay asked, curious.

Celeste paused before plowing on. "Nagiikot sila ng papa niya, naghahanap ng magandang area para sa business. Baka dito nalang nga siya magumpisa, actually. Kaso paguusapan palang namin pagbalik nila."

"Uy, at least kung dito kayo may kakilala na kayo," Jay commented. It would also bring her closer to her friend slash cousin.

Celeste's grandmother summoned her at that time so she had to excuse herself. Jay turned to Angela, feeling her eyelids droop. "Bhe, magpapahinga lang ako sa kwarto ko ah? Demanding nanaman sa katawan ko si baby, pagbibigyan ko muna."

**Sunday, 08-14-16, 11:30 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Sitting at the edge of her bed, she closed her eyes and called to her powers. After the past few hectic days, all she wanted to do was to talk to her father. Her spark called out to his spirit, and he answered her summons immediately.

She opened her eyes and found him standing by the door. He was grinning at her in a sad, thoughtful way. "I am so sorry about Bella," he said quietly.

"I'm sorry about her din," Jay quipped with a tired smile.

Cuatro tapped his chin thoughtfully as he eyed her. "May... gusto kang itanong sa akin, tama ba ako?"

Jay chuckled. How she missed the old days. "Ngayong patay na siya, do you see her  _there?_ Kung nasan man kayong mga patay na din?"

"Theoretically, I should. Pero umiiwas siya sa akin. Hindi mo ba siya sinubukang icontact?" His eyes were shrewd. He was definitely expecting the answer she would give.

She shook her head with a sad smile. "Not really. I guess natatakot ako na magiging masama parin reaction niya kahit na patay na siya.  _Ali naku man mataloti, ali ba?" Hindi naman ako duwag, hindi ba?_

"Di naman. I don't think magpapakita siya sayo if you tried." Cuatro chuckled. "Since you're curious though, I think she's found some sort of peace. Umiiwas lang siguro siya sa atin dahil sa guilt at bitterness."

Jay understood. She really did. "At least... kahit papano."

Cuatro looked down sadly. "For all it's worth, I still love her."

"Ako din, 'Tay." She reached out and patted his hand, surprised by how warm and solid he felt. "It's okay."

He smiled, leaned forward, and kissed her head. "You're tired and pregnant. Magpahinga ka na muna, anak. We can talk anytime."

Jay blinked and he was gone. She didn't mind, though. She was at peace.

**Bonus**

****Sunday, 08-14-16, 2:00 PM, Tarlac, Tarlac** **

Celeste felt so relieved when her uncle finally parked the car right outside Lola Mila's house. Being so close to her term made her feel anxious and sore and tired at the same time. It wasn't a bad thing, not really. She wanted to see her baby already.

Even climbing out of her car required effort already. Unfortunately, no one noticed that she needed any help, but she didn't mind. Patting the emergency phone she tucked in her cleavage, she turned to close the car door shut when she noticed someone watching her from across the street.

He was tall, slim but well built. He clutched a gun which he quickly aimed at her. She didn't need her spark to tell her it meant trouble. She raised her hand, about to access her spark when she heard a loud crack. She almost had no time to wrap her magic around her baby to protect it before she fell back, winded, feeling like someone punched her in the chest.

She heard her uncle and grandmother shouting as she fell, feeling a burning pain radiate in her sternum as blood seeped through her shirt. Her mind was oddly lucid though, even when pain erupted from her belly and groin.

She was going into labor.


	33. Castle on the Hill

_Her father hadn't even been buried for more than a day when the abuse started._

_It was the day they went back to school and arrived to an empty, dark house that vaguely smelled of unkemptness. Their mother was nowhere to be found, with nary a note nor a message - not even a text on their celphones._

_"May inasikaso lang siguro para kay Tatay," Joven assured Jay as they sat down on the dining room table with their homework._

_They had to make do with the leftovers they could find as the night wore on with no sign of their mother, and were about to turn in from the night when the front door creaked open. Bella stepped in, her clothes a mess, her hair a nest, smelling faintly of perfume and liquor and cigarette smoke._

_She paused at the sight of her children standing by the stairs, staring back at her. "Putangina!" she slurred, staggering toward them and grabbing her daughter by the hair and hurling her to the polished wood floor. "Putangina mo! Pinatay mo asawa ko! Wala ka talagang kwenta!"_

_Jay stiffled a cry as her mother beat her up, too afraid and confused to fight back._

****Monday, 08-15-16, 9:00 AM, Villa Teresa** **

Clutching her phone close to her, she began to traverse the quiet streets of the upscale subdivision, ignoring the stares she drew. Jay and Joven never did sell the house after moving out, after being left on their own two feet, after their mother went to jail. They knew the power of the memories it kept in its four walls, holding five years of their lives - from the time they moved out of the ancestral house due to irreconcilable difference between their mother and their aunt, and the day their mother went to jail for good.

They were all bittersweet memories, but memories nevertheless.

Someone was waiting right beside the gates. Selong del Pilar smiled at her with that knowing, infuriating look on his face. "Akala ko hindi ka na dadating."

"Ano pong ginagawa niyo dito?" Jay asked, confused. She shouldn't really have been surprised, as her boyfriend's uncle had the ability to see important things in the future.

As if on cue, he pushed open the gates that were rusted shut. "I see things, hija. Alam mo naman yun. Nakita kong pupunta ka dito - para gunitain ang ilang mga bagay mula sa iyong nakaraan. Alam mo, nakausap ko ng minsan yung ama mo bago siya namatay."

"Ano pong napagusapan niyo?" Jay paused at the edge of their lot, staring at the overgrown garden that had obviously been kept unchecked for years.

Memories both good and bad flooded her mind - of playing with Joven and Rusca, of being beaten by her mother. It was a place they kept for its ties to their past, but neither Hernando sibling wished to live under its roof again for a good reason.

Selong stood a small distance away, eyes twinkling. "Mas mainam siguro kung kayo ni Cuatro ang mag-usap. Pumarito lamang ako ng panandalian upang ipakita ang daang dapat mong tahakin."

Well, she expected the lack of forthcoming answers, anyway. She nodded and walked forward, away from him and into the garden which was devoid of anything but grass now. The rosebushes and stargazers had wilted long before they left the place for good, the swing set sold off.

Unlocking the door was easy with her powers now. It swung open with just a bit of pushing from her spark. Everything behind it was exactly as it was before they left, just coated with a thick layer of dust. Too bad she had no powers over the wind and air or else she could have blown it all away with a sweep of her hands like Tina could. Heading for the stairs, she used her hands to brushed off some of the dust so she could sit down and contact her father.

He answered her call as easily as he did last time. "Of all places talaga, Juliet?" He gazed around the area with mild amusement tinged with nostalgic sadness.

Jay did not beat around the bush this time. "I wasn't supposed to contact you, to be honest. Pumunta lang ako dito ngayon kasi... gusto kong makita ulit yung lugar. Lalo na't wala na rin si Mama. Nakaabang dito si Tito Selong nung dumating ako - yung tito ni Goyong?"

"Selong del Pilar?" His gaze latched to her with interest.

"Mismo. Kilala mo daw siya?" She watched him fidget anxiously.

Cuatro nodded grimly. "I knew him as Paul Ridel. Acquaintance siya ng lolo mo. Diba collector at dealer siya ng antiques?"

Jay remembered the boxes they discovered at home with some old jewelry and one of the special daggers forged by Tina in her past life. "Yup, may mga nahanap kaming mga collection niya na galing sa auction ni Tito Selong."

"Bata pa ako nung nakausap namin siya pero may binigay siya kay Papa na isang pirasong papel. Page daw na galing sa mga nawawalang journals ng original Joven Hernando." Doubt and curiosity colored his voice.

"May nawawala nga daw na pages yung mga journals na nahanap ni Kuya," she confirmed. "Eh anong nangyari dun sa papel?"

His face lit up. "Nakatago yun sa huling picture ni Papa - yung nasa malaking frame sa may hagdan dun sa bahay sa Pulong Bulo. Nandun pa yun, diba?"

She knew that picture. It was still there, right under their noses. Her body felt like it was _vibrating_ from excitement.  _"Putanayda na! Atsu ya pa pin." Putangina! Nandun pa nga._

****Monday, 08-15-16, 11:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo** **

She was still feeling excited and giddy and anxious when she made it home, planning to rummage and study whatever was on that missing page while waiting for everyone else to go home. She had barely opened the gate when her phone began to ring, though. Of course, something had to happen rigt when she made an important discovery.

Dread filled her when she saw Celeste's name.

"Hi 'tol, si Jay to," she chirped, trying to keep her voice as perky as she could.

Celeste laughed giddily. "Nanganak na ako kahapon," she announced.

Confusion dawned upon Jay. "Teka, akala ko bang di ka pa due?"

"Hindi pa nga," agreed Celeste. She paused, as if wondering how to go on. "Nabaril ako kahapon kaya naglabor ako."

 _"Nabaril?"_ Jay all but screeched as she locked the gate behind her.

Celeste groaned. "Oo. Long story pero ayos lang ako, promise! Cornelia nga pala pangalan niya. Concha for short."

"Nagbabasa ka ng _W.I.T.C.H_. ano? Pero teka lang, pwede naman kaming bumisita diyan diba?" Jay asked.

"Oo naman! Itetext ko nalang sayo yung address ng ospital pagkatapos natin dito." Celeste coughed and winced. "Tangina, masakit parin yung mga tahi ko. Teka ah, tatawag nalang ako ulit mamaya."

"Magpahinga ka na muna, brad. Punta nalang kami diyan," Jay said.

Sighing as she reached the bottom of the stairs, she looked up at the biggest framed picture that lined the walls leading upstairs.

It would have to wait just a little more, she supposed.

****Monday, 08-15-16, 2:00 PM, Tarlac, Tarlac** **

Jay couldn't help but groan as the smell of vehicle smoke struck her with a wave of nausea. Clutching on Tina's arm for dear life, they crossed the busy road.

"Sorry talaga na inabala pa kita," she yelped as they entered the blissfully cool hospital foyer.

"Jusko, di naman malaking hassle to. Wala naman akong project at di nga naman pwedeng biglang umalis sa trabaho yung si Goyong, diba?" Tina waved her hand around as they went past the reception desk, almost hitting a passing nurse on the face. "Whoops. Besides, kaibigan naman natin yan."

Celeste was waiting for them in her third floor room, nibbling on her _suman_. She smiled as they approached. "Hello," she chirped, flushing as they approached.

"Kamusta naman, Manang?" Tina asked, eyeing her curiously.

"Ayos na ayos lang. Medyo sore. Ang laking bata ni Concha, Dios mio." Celeste pointed at the remains of what used to be a Nokia 3310 on her bedside table. "Lifesaver yang phone na yan."

Jay listened in horror at Celeste's tale, of the gunman who sounded like Aguinaldo's doppleganger, the bullet striking the phone tucked in her cleavage and lodging in her sternum, narrowly missing her heart, and the emergency labor. She was surprised that her friend was able to keep her cool, even having time to chat calmly with her boyfriend over the phone while waiting for the ambulance to arrive.

"Tao ka ba, bes?" Jay asked in amazement.

"Babaylan," Celeste replied with a lopsided smile. "What bothers me eh yung gunman. Isa ba talaga yun sa mga aninong sinasabi niyo?"

"Most likely. At siya nalang yung huling natitira." Jay glanced at Tina before turning back to Celeste. "Mukhang alam ni Dolores na buhay pa ako at napagkamalan ka niya."

"Or naninigurado lang siya." Tina's stare was sharp and hawklike. "Have you sensed her at all pagkatapos mong makapunta sa libingan ni Poleng? Napanaginipan, ganun?"

"Wala." Now that she thought about it, the closest she had been to Dolores for the past month was her mother's murder. It could even have just been part of Dolores' vengefulness or power tripping. "And we suspect na hindi ganoon katalino yung anino ni Aguinaldo. Diba nga akala niya dati na ako si Marge?"

"Mismo," agreed Tina. "Look, hindi man nga niya napansin na buntis yung binaril niya ah. Pero hindi ibig sabihin niyan na pwede na tayong maging _complacent._ "

"Definitely not," agreed Celeste.

****Monday, 08-15-16, 4:00 PM, Tarlac, Tarlac** **

Armed with directions, they made their way to the nursery. Jay was pretty sure her soft spot for children would get her in trouble someday, but she wanted to see little Concha before she left. Peeking at the glass window, she spotted a carrier labelled  _Baby Girl Piqueras._

"Piqueras nga yung apelido ng boyfriend ni Celeste, di ba?" she whispered to Tina.

"Oo, pinsan ata ni Jules," Tina whispered back.

Jay peered at the child, dredging up her maternal instincts. Her hand flew to her stomach, rubbing it lightly. As long as Dolores lived, any child she and Goyong would have - no, any child  _anyone_ would have - could never be safe.

"Tina," she began, surprised by the trembling in her voice. It was rage, she knew, rage over Dolores and the way she hurt everyone around her, the way she hurt the people Jay loved. _Hindi na pwedeng umupo na lang ako at maghintay na kumilos siya. Ako nang maghahanap sa kanya._ "What would you do if I told you that I want to kill the Wicket Witch of Pampanga?"

 _"Ing tutu?" Yung totoo?_ Tina grinned at her, eyes sparkling with bloodthirsty glee. "Tutulungan kita ng bonggang bongga, siyemore."

"Perfect. She's going down." Jay grinned as they made their way out of the hospital, mind full of half formed battle plans.

She was neither helpless nor afraid anymore. She was ready for anything Dolores might try throwing at her. She was a powerful babaylan and had equally powerful and trusted friends by her side.

The painting at home held something important that she was sure they could use against Dolores. She just hoped it was the answer to all of their questions already. She hated waiting, especially not when everything she wanted already felt so close to her grasp. It was maddening.

****Monday, 08-15-16, 7:00 PM, Tarlac, Tarlac** **

Unfortunately, she wasn't able to act on her plans that night. She barely had time to eat a light dinner before she found herself slumoed on her bed, nauseaous and exhausted. A few hours of rest before following Selong's lead wouldn't hurt though. The baby had to be taken good care of at all costs.


	34. Mahaba Pa Ang Gabi

_Jay never was able to tell how or why she survived the next handful of years under her mother's wrathful abuse on top of the bullying she got in school. She did not give them the satisfaction, never let them see her defeated and weeping even when she learned that fighting back was futile even as her grades plummeted from stress. She only allowed herself to give in to her misery when it was just her and her brother and sometimes Rusca. Her friends - not even her best friend, Sarah - knew how much she was hurting._

_Then again, it wasn't like she saw much of her friends anymore. Some of them insist that they had no time for her, didn't want someone like her around in public, while Sarah - her closest friend aside from Joven and Rusca - was always with Miguel so it was too uncomfortable to hang out with her. She supposed she deserved it. She wasn't exactly interesting or popular._

_"Ikaw naman kasi, bakit di ka pa magpakababae okaya magpaganda?" Sarah told her that one time that the two of them got to share their lunch table. "Alam mo kasi kaya binubully ka nila kasi iba ka - and that's bad."_

_"Para saan pa?" Jay asked, looking down. She knew it wasn't true. She saw a lot of beautiful and handsome classmates who should have fit in with the others - and didn't. Besides, nothing she did would change her mother who had gone off the deep end, succumbing to her unchecked wrath, turning alcohol and cigarettes and drugs. "Hindi naman aayusin nun yung mga problema ko."_

_Sarah didn't answer. She chose that exact moment to make out with Miguel right in front of her own best friend who she knew was crushing on her boyfriend._

****Tuesday, 08-16-16, 9:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo** **

She was feeling much better that morning. There was no nausea, no overwhelming feeling of exhaustion, no heaviness.

She found herself peering at her grandfather's last picture after breakfast, studying it, wondering how to go about taking it down. She fiddled with her grandmother's necklace before she raised her hands, grabbing the frame and fumbling with it. It was heavier than she expected, but it was something she could definitely handle.

Lugging it downstairs was a bit awkward but manageable. She was about to fiddle with it after setting it down on the living room center table when the sound of the gates opening made her jump. As if by instinct, she prepared to use her powers as she leapt to her feet and peered out the window.

She didn't breathe a sigh of relief until she realized that it was Aurora and Angela. Smiling at them, she unlatched the front lock and let them in. Unexpected but otherwise pleasant company was always nice.

"Good morning, Ate Jay!" Angela said in a singsong voice as she fished her pockets for a fresh pack of  _Mik Mik._ "Kamusta ang blooming na buntis?"

"Blooming ka diyan!" she said as she led them to the living room, pushing the picture aside.

"Hep hep, 'Nay, ako nang kukuha ng food and drinks sa kitchen. Diyan ka lang," Aurora told her before dashing off with a grin.

"Actually, napadaan lang kami para mangamusta," explained Angela. She turned to the framed picture, tilting her head. "Sino yan?"

"Lolo ko. Joven Hernando III." Jay began to fumble around the frame again, frowning ever so slightly. She couldn't find any spot where a piece of paper could have been hidden. "May nawawalang page sa isa sa mga journals noon ni Kuya Joven at dito daw tinago ni Lolo yun."

Angela nodded, gently prodding the frame. "Sa tingin ko hindi naman nila basta nalang nirolyo at sinuksok yan sa gilid ng picture. Baka may secret compartment."

Jay nodded, flipping the frame over, a dozen questions and speculations in her head. Her stomach twinged idly as she spotted something odd. Fingers brushing the corkboard surface of the frame, she found a small portion of it that seemed made to be opened carefully.

"Merienda is served!" Aurora called out in a singsong voice, rejoining them with glasses of grape juice and toasted bread. "Jusko 'Nay, para ka namang papatay ng picture frame diyan."

"Not quite, but close enough." Jay grinned, removing the small part of the frame and uncovering a secret compartment.

Out tumbled a tightly rolled piece of old paper.

****Tuesday, 08-16-16, 10:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo** **

"I'm so sorry bhe, it doesn't make sense talaga," Jay told her companions.

She had spent the last hour studying the scrap of paper. It did seem like the real deal - an excerpt from Joven's journal. She couldn't understand anything though - just a string of letters and numbers in Joven's old, meticulous script.

"Parang... code, ano?" asked Angela.

"Code..." Aurora's hand flew to her forehead. "Pashnea naman! May  _butas_ pa pala yung mga alaala ko..."

"It happens," Angela reassured her. "Ano bang meron?"

"Hindi ko alam pero may kinalaman sa isang  _code_ eh." Aurora rubbed her head, groaning. "Di ko talaga maalala. Nyemas naman."

"Dadating din yan in time," Jay reassured her, remembering how  _infuriating_ it was not to have any memory of important things. Her gaze fell upon Poleng's wedding ring sadly.

"Sana nga, 'Nay." Aurora looked down with a scowl. "Sana nga."

****Friday, 08-19-16, 3:45 PM, Angeles City Proper****

Tucking a stray lock of black hair behind her ear, Jay pressed herself close to Goyong as they walked against the tide of the crowd.

"Hindi pa rin ba maalala ng kuya mo kung ano yung nasa papel na yun?" he asked as they finally reached the edge of the marketplace.

She shook her head, remembering the dejected look on her brother's face. "Kulang nalang sumabog si kuya sa kakaisip kung anong meron dun."

"Ayos lang yan," he reassured her before they turned a corner. "Dadating din ang alaala niya pag kailangan na. Parang yung sayo."

She knew he was right, but she couldn't help but feel anxious about it. "Nandoon na kasi lahat, sobrang out of reach lang sa alaala ni Kuya."

Goyong reached out to give her hand a tight squeeze. "Alam ko, pero hangga't hindi pa nakikialam si Tito, alam kong wala pa namang nangyayaring mali. Magtiwala ka lang sa kuya mo at sa oras."

**Friday, 08-19-16, 10:45 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

For the first time since she succumbed to her curse, Jay had a vivid dream that was definitely more than just a dream.

She found herself in an empty, unfamiliar room, surrounded only by four gray walls that seemed so hazy and unreal. Around her stood her friends - Tina and Marge, Aurora and Celeste. They, at least, felt as real as she did.

"What the fuck?" Aurora was saying, patting down her green shirt anxiously.

"Totoo kayo, di ba?" Tina said with an anxious little laugh.

"Totoong totoo," confirmed Jay. She was definitely dreaming, but the people in her dream were very much the real deal. She was sure of it.

Celeste rubbed her chest uncomfortably as she looked around their undefined surroundings. "Wala naman sigurong nagexperiment sa inyo ano?"

The others shook their heads.

"Weird. Very weird. Ultra weird," muttered Aurora.

Jay nodded sagely. "Last I checked, si Wicked Witch of the West lang yung mahilig makisali sa panaginip ko - maliban kay Poleng."

"Saka diba di mo na napanaginipan yung impaktang yun?" added Marge.

There was a quiet flicker of light at one end of the room, and Jay found herself hovering over her friends, ready to somehow protect them. Mayang - the old babaylan they met in Tarlac - appeared before them, dressed like her people of old. As they watched, she seemed to slowly grow younger until she seemed not to be much older than them.

"Malayo na ang narating niyo," she said, approval clear in her voice. "Nagagalak ako."

"Alam po naming marami pa kaming dapat matutunan," Celeste began, bowing her head.

Tina nodded. "Eh hindi pa nga po namin alam kung anong gagawin namin laban kay Dolores eh."

Mayang's dark eyes locked on Aurora, a small smile on her face. "Malapit na sa inyo ang mga kasagutan."

"Hoy gago ano to?" Aurora demanded.

Marge held out her hand with a nervous smile. "Chill lang bhe."

"Mahirap magchill pag pinapaulanan ka ng mga  _cryptic_ na tanong tapos ayaw ka namang sagutin ng diretso," argued Jay, remembering how her own self refused tp give proper, straight answers.

"Madaling magbigay mg sagot ngunit hindi nito ibibigay sa inyo ang mga bagay na dapat niyong matutunan kung pinili niyo ang mahabang daan patungo dito." Mayang's eyes locked on her, making her freeze in place.

It was true. The quest for Poleng's grave felt as equally momentous as the answers she received.

"Pero uh, bakit po kayo nandito?" Marge asked.

Mayang smiled and held out her arms, which glowed blue and white with otherworldly glyphs in the script that Bugallon once called  _kulitan._ "Nandito ako dahil nararapat nang ibigay ang mga marka niyo. Ipinipinta ito sa katawan noong unang panahon upang tanda na kayo ay ganap nang mga babaylan, at alam kong matagal niyo mang dapat makuha ito - magmula nang napili na kayo ng inyong magiging gabay."

"Uh, hindi po ako mahilig sa tattoos," Tina said reluctantly.

Mayang chuckled. "Hindi ko na kailangang ipinta yan sa inyong mga balat. Hindi na ito ang nakagawian ngayon." She took Jay's hands by the wrists. "Dahil hindi ito ang tunay na marka ng mga babaylan. Ang tunay na marka nila ay lumilitaw lamang tuwing ginagamit nila ang karamihan sa kanang kapangyarihan - o di kaya upang ilakilala ang sarili nila sa kanilang mga kapwa babaylan."

Jay felt a warm tingle along her arms as marks that glowed crimson and gold began to appear, marking her skin momentarily before fading away. She watched as Mayang moved to Aurora, summoning white and gold marks, then to Marge with azure and bronze, Tina's marking flaring up mauve and copper, Celeste's arms burning viridian and silver.

Jay didn't feel any different and yet wasn't the same. She knew this  _ritual -_ for lack of a better word - meant so much to a  _babaylan_ like her.

"Dati ko pang dapat ibinigay sa inyo ito ngunit hinintay ko ang araw na ito, dahil papalapit na ang huling pagtutuos niyo ng aking dating mag-aaral - ang mangkukulam na tinatawag niyo nang Dolores." Mayang stepped away, arms behind her back. She smiled at them in pride as she watched them.

"Basta po alam na namin yung gagawin, handang handa na po kami," Jay said boldly. She had lost all her apprehension the day she found out that she was going to be a mother.

Celeste leaned forward a little anxiously. "Kasama po ba ako sa mga pangyayari ma yun?" she asked. "Hindi po ako mapapalagay kung hindi ko sila tutulungan."

"Makakasama ka nila. Kailangan ni Julietta ang lahat ng tulong na maaari niyang makuha upang masugpo na ang kasamaan ni Dolores." Mayang turned to Jay. "Alam kong handa ka na sa kahit anong pasakit na ihandog sa iyo ng buhay - at ng iyong kalaban. Hindi ka ba natatakot para sa mga bata sa iyong sinapupunan?"

" _Mga bata_ po?" Jay asked, almost choking on her spit.

Mayang reached out to pat her belly lightly. "Hindi nagkakamali ang aking nakikita. Kambal ang iyong dinadala - at ang mga ibang batang iyo pang isisilang sa susunod na mga taon - dahil sa katangihan ni Goyong na maghilom ang kanyang mga sugat."

"Kambal..." Dazed, Jay looked around, feeling her resolve harden. She had  _two_ children to protect. She would fight for their future with no hesitation. She turned back to Mayang, feeling an odd, peaceful yet fiery kind of warmth blooming in her chest. "Natatakot ako para sa kanila, sa totoo lang, pero ito ang dahilan kung bakit hindi na po ako pwedeng matakot kay Dolores. Kasi kailangan ko silang bigyan ng magandang kinabukasan - hindi yung lagi silang nanganganib dahil sakanya."

Mayang bowed, satisfied. "Mabuti, mabuti. Kailangan ko nang umalis. Ihanda niyo ang inyong sarili. Nalalapit na ang takdang panahon."


	35. Liwanag sa Dilim

_Finally hitting college felt like a small ray of hope after enduring years of abuse. The atmosphere in the university was more accepting, her predominantly male classmates friendly and surprisingly inclusive. She had proper friends who looked up to her and she looked up to in turn._

_She rarely saw Sarah in the campus as she had taken Communication Arts, while she majored in Multimedia Arts. It wasn't a big deal, she supposed, as she had to admit that she barely knew her supposed best friend for years._

_Miguel showing up right outside her classroom was an unexpected - albeit pleasant - surprise. It was the end of her last class for the day, just a couple of weeks into the semester, and she was excited to finish her workload before her mother came home for the night. Her stomach did a flip at the sight of him waiting for her though, his schoolbooks in hand. "Good afternoon, Miss Hernando," he chirped light heartedly._

_"Good afternoon, Mr. Santos," she shot back, feeling warm and fuzzy and bubbly at the mere sight of him. "Buti hindi mo kasama si Sarah?"_

_"Hindi pa ba niya sinasabi sayong wala na kami?" Miguel shrugged, sounding oh so unaffected. It was bad news, but the girl he was talking to was too young and naive to have a clue._

_She had other things in her mind, after all. "Hindi na ako gaanong kinakausap ni Sarah," she said dejectedly. It was barely as if they were even friends at all. "Hindi na nga ata niya ako kilala."_

_He put an arm around her shoulder with a sultry grin. "Well, that's her problem, isn't it? I'm actually here para magyayang lumabas. Coffee? May Starbucks na sa AUF."_

_Jay flushed. The back of her head said it was wrong - so wrong. She could have been a rebound. He could have been using her as a ploy to get Sarah back. But the reckless, naive side of her won over. Hadn't she been crushing on him for years? "Um, sige. Game ako."_

_"Bingo." he steered her downstairs, the smile never leaving his face, gloating over the throng of students they were passing._

**Sunday, 08-21-16, 11:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

It's been two days since the dream - two days since she found out she was carrying twins. She hadn't told him yet, wanting to find the right time to surprise him.

She didn't expect that the opportunity decided to present itself that very day, though.

She was in her room, busy practicing with her knives, when Goyong burst in looking quite alarmed. "Jay, maaari ka bang sumama sa akin sa ibaba?" he asked in between gasps for breath. It seemed like he dashed up the stairs in a rush.

"May problema ba?" she asked, discarding the pair of knives she was clutching.

"Hindi naman sa ganoon pero..." He hesitated, as if trying to look for the right words to say. "Mas mainam na talaga kung mag-usap tayo sa ibaba."

She took his hand, noting how cold it was. "Ayos ka lang ba?" she whispered as they headed out of the room and down the stairs.

His hand tightened around hers. "Kailangan."

"Goyong, ako yung natatakot sayo," she said, her voice shaking ever so lightly.

Paco and Manuel were waiting in the living room, eyeing her apprehensively. Carlos Hernando's old journal was laid out in front of them.

"May problema ba tayo dito?" she asked, trying to look as jovial as she could.

Paco ran a hand through his hair and leaned back with a huff. "Natapos na naming basahin yung journal and now we understand kung bakit kailangan natin siya."

"Let me guess - may kinalaman ito sa akin," she said flatly.

 _"Makanita na pin." Ganun na nga._ Manuel turned to Goyong, as if asking for help. "May mga bagay dun tungkol sa pagtalo kay Dolores."

"Jay, nandoon yung paraan kung paano siya tatalunin. Pero may isang problema." Goyong winced. "Matatalo mo lamang si Dolores at hindi mamamatay habang buntis ka."

Jay blinked, processing everything.  _Hindi na rin naman nakakagulat._ "Well, wala naman akong balak na isilang yung mga anak natin dito habang nandyan pa yung impaktang yan."

"Mga anak?" Goyong asked, freezing.

"Kambal yung dinadala ko. Actually, kambal lahat ng mga magiging anak natin dahil, uh, dati kang imortal." She couldn't help but grin at the stunned expression on his face. "Wag ka nang magtaka kung bakit alam ko. It's a  _babaylan thing_."

Manuel cleared his throat. "You do understand na twins would complicate things, hindi ba?"

Paco waved his hand airily. "Sigurado akong alam niya yun. Siya pa?"

"You give me too much credit," muttered Jay. She turned to Goyong, giving him a comforting smile.  _"Ala namang magbayu oneng mu keng abalu tamu." Wala namang magbabago dahil lang sa nalaman natin._

**Sunday, 08-21-16, 2:30 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Jay felt anxious as she read the sheet of paper that contained Paco's translation of the process to defear Dolores for good. Fighting her seemed like the easiest part of it. The other babaylans and the del Pilar trio ding what appeared to be a magical ritual in even unspecified areas in the city while the fight went on was the real challenge.

"Pati kayo maaabala ko pa dahil dito," Jay told Goyong with a loud groan.

"Kahit hindi mo pa yan hingin, handa parin kaming tumulong sayo laban kay Dolores." His arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her close. "Humahanga talaga ako sa katapangan mo."

She looked down, cheeks burning. "Goyong, natatakot din ako - hindi kay Dolores, pero para sa pwedeng mangyari sa inyo kapag hinarap na natin siya. Natatakpan lang nung pakiramdam na gusto ko nang tapusin kasi ayaw ko nang masaktan o mahirapan yung mga taong mahal ko."

He chuckled. "Hindi ba't ganyan naman talaga sa digmaan? Ikaw ang pinakamagiting na mandirigmang nakilala ko."

She may have been no soldier, but she was indeed a warrior. "Magiting? Bolero ka talaga, Gregorio," she teased.

The sound of the gate opening threw them out of their little world. Aurora marching through the garden was a sight to behold as her dark hair fluttered in the breeze, a slightly panicked look on her face. She stepped into the living room without so much as a knock - which wasn't exactly new.

"Nay, nandyan ba si Kuya Joven?" she demanded at the sight of Jay.

"Si Kuya? Nasa itaas kasama ni Angela. May problema ba? Pwede ko namang tawagan," asked Jay.

"No need," announced Joven as he hurtled down the stairs, excitement lighting up his face. "Naaalala ko na yung code!"

"Good, good." Aurora turned to the basement door hidden under the shadow of the staircase. "July 1947. Naaalala mo pa ba yung binigay ko sayo noon?"

"July 1947..." He trailed off, glancing at Jay. "Tinabi namin sa basement yun. Box 89."

Jay remembered the stack of boxes they started sorting out when they first moved back into the house. They never did get to finish it as they kept being sidetracked from one thing to another. "Tara, tulungan ko kayo."

 **Sunday, 08-21-16,** **3:30 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

It was easier said than done. Wading and sifting through dusty boxes and objects that they haven't even properly sorted out yet was a challenge. They knew where the box they were looking for was simple enough, but reaching it and moving things around was another matter.

"Pucha, maglinis na nga ulit tayo dito bukas," Joven complained as they finally unearthed the box.

Jay nodded in agreement as she slowly pried it open, coughing as a cloud of dust exploded on their faces. It took her a while to spot the old journal bound in black leather.

"Tangina, feeling ko makakabuo kayo ng museum kung inaayos niyo lang mga gamit dito," complained Aurora.

Jay began to laugh but it was cut off by a sudden wave of dizziness as she caight a whiff of a damp scent. She felt her bile rise up to her throat as her stomach churned angrily. With a small yelp, she covered her mouth and dashed to the exit, holding her breath.

She barely made it to the kitchen sink before she threw up. She sensed someone rush to her, a steady hand rubbing her back.

It took her a while to calm her stomach, clean up, and rinse her mouth. She still felt quite tender when she turned to Goyong, who was eyeing her grimly.

"Uy, salamat," she told him shakily, letting him steer her to the living room.

"Kaya mo na ba talaga?" he asked her, worried.

She smiled and kissed his cheek. "Kayang kaya." She was still a little shaky and felt tender, but it had to do.

The rest of the team was waiting already, having been summoned by Joven. Even Angela, Marge, and Tina - who had come over to visit and were upstairs with their boyfriends earlier - were perched on the bay window seat. Joven and Aurora were sitting on the floor, transcribing what looked like a code on the old journal.

"So kilala mo si Tito Selong noon? Like,  _noon_?" Julian was asking.

"Oo, tinuruan ako ng primer tungkol sa magic at kay Dolores that bitch. Also iniwanan ako ng mga ilang instruction na nakuha daw niya sa visions niya. Like this!" Aurora motioned to the journal with a catlike grin. "So anyway tinuro niya sa akin yung code na hawak ni Kuya Joven ngayon."

Nonong leaned forward, fascinated. "Ang dami mo palang di sinasabi sa akin noon no?"

"Don't me, cheesebreath. Don't me," Aurora growled.

Joven cried out in victory as he straightened up, waving a sheet of paper around. "Tapos na ako! Easy peasy lang pala."

Jay peered at it, feeling curiosity and dread mingle in her delicate gut. "Eh anong nakasulat diyan?"

"Yung magic na gagamitin niyo at yung mga lugar kung saan." Joven looked so stressed out. "Kailangan natin ng pitong kutsilyo - uh, yung mga kutsilyong gawa ni Tina. Pero kailangan pa natin ng isa pa para gamitin ni Jay sa laban nila ni Dolores."

"Teka lang, hinay hinay." Goyong held out his hands to stop them "May magic na, may mga lugar na rin. Kelan dapat gawin yan at saan?"

"Equinox." Joven adusted his glasses. "Anytime within an equinox - yung date na pantay yung haba ng araw at gabi. Alam ko next month yung susunod. You'll have to lure her sa Salakot sa Astro Park - yun yung nakadrawing dito eh."

Jose snorted. "Sa Astro Park? Bakit dun pa?"

"Babe, chill. Baka may historical context yan," Cat said, eyes lighting up.

Aurora cleared her throat to get their attention. "Akshelly, tama si Ate Cat. Apparently doon ginagawa yung paginduct sa mga babaylan noong unang panahon. It's a _magical place_."

"Halata nga, bhe." Jay felt calm at the thought of having her path laid out for her.  _Sa wakas._ "I'm ready. Mukhang kailangan lang nating patayin yung anino ni Aguinaldo, kaladkarin sa Astro si Dolores that bitch, labanan siya, at gawin yung mysterious magical oration. Check na check."

"Bakit ang chill mo? Oh my God," sighed Rusca.

"Why not?" Jay grinned. Things were unfolding bit by bit - just the way she liked it.

Julio was staring at her with approval. "Mas maganda nang chill siya kaysa nagpapakain sa panic. Hindi mo kailangang ipakita yung takot mo."

Jay smiled. She was still afraid. Too many things could go wrong. So many people could get hurt. But she had to try her best. She would have to find a way to do everything she had to do to finally fight Dolores.

"Pero teka, unahin na natin yung pinakasimpleng problema," she said. "Kelan ang equinox sa September?"

"September 23. Friday yun, Manang," Addie said, looking up from her phone.

"Eh teka, may isa pa tayong dapat isipin. Kung pito tayong maghahanap sa mga lugar sa listahan ni Jovenito para magorasyon habang lumalaban si Jay, at kailanan nating lahat ng kutsilyo..." Marge began to count.

"Pito lang ginawa ni Ate, counting yung apat from the past," gasped Angela.

Tina raised her hand with a grin. "Say nothing of it. Alam ko nasaan yung Number Eight. Kung gusto niyo, samahan niyo pa ako bukas para kunin ko."


	36. Tell Me It's Okay

_Over the next couple of weeks, a voice at the back of Jay's head kept reminding her that dating Miguel was a bad idea /_

_"Pag ako nagkaroon ng cafe, gusto kong pangalan yung Tea-rad Pass. Gets mo? Tirad Pass, Tea-rad Pass?" Miguel was saying one time that they were in the school canteen. A coy smirk formed on his face as he saw Sarah pass, his eyes trained on her and her swaying backside._

_A voice in Jay's head whispered that he was still interested in his ex, not with the girl he was going out with. The naive child in her told her not to care though. At least, it whispered, she was going out with the boy she had been pining for since high school. She was already miserable at home and she had to grasp every small thing that made her happy, no matter how superficial._

* * *

_Miguel led her to an empty classroom after their classes._

_"Alam kong nangako ako na manonood tayo ng sine ngayon pero since girlfriend na kita..." He paused dramatically, quite aware that all of her attention was on him. "You have to learn how to kiss muna."_

_"As in... ngayon na?" Jay's gut fluttered in anxiety. She had never kissed, never been kissed. "Eh..."_

_His eyes leered at her, his lips lifting up in obvious amusement. "I'm going to teach you. Hindi tayo lalabas ng kwartong ito hangga't di ka natututong humalik."_

_She should have been unsettled, but she was too naive and desperate to notice it. "Sige lang," she said, covering up her fear with excitement. How many times, after all, had she wished that she was kissing him?_

**Tuesday, 08-23-16, 10** **:00 AM, Angeles City Proper**

There it was again, the queasy roiling in her gut that seemed hellbent on reminding her of just how  _pregnant_ she was. She felt tender and vulnerable that way. It didn't matter that she had her knives with her or that she was a full fledged babaylan. She knew it was just part of the pregnancy and yet it it still insisted upon making her feel uneasy.

Stepping into Marge's flowershop, it seemed like she was the only one they were waiting for. Marge was standing by the counter, arms crossed, as she chatted with one of her cousins who co-owned her shop. Tina and Aurora were standing beside a shelf, talking quietly to each other as they peered at a cluster of daisies.

She wasn't exactly late but Jay felt like she was. "Hi," she called out with a guilty smile. "Pasensya na,  _miglambat kung ditak." Natagalan ako ng konti._

"Sakto ka lang naman, 'Nay," Aurora told her with a catlike smile.

Marge eyed her with concern. "Sigurado ka bang ayos lang yung pakiramdam mo?  _Ali mu naman kailangang tuki kekami." Di mo naman kailangang sumama sa amin._

Jay rubbed her stomach, knowing that one wrong move could probably send her spiralling into a bout of nausea. "Kaya ko pa naman. Kaysa nga naman nababagot ako sa bahay, di ba?"

"Siguraduhin mong sasabihin mo agad kapag may iba ka nang nararamdaman," Tina warned her fiercely.

Jay raised her hands with a smile. "Promise, malalaman niyo  _ora mismo_ kung iba na yung nararamdaman ko. Alam niyo naman ako, di na naman ako pabaya sa sarili ko ngayon."

"Dapat lang," said Marge, eyes narrowed. "Kambal yang dala mo kaya dapat extra ingat ka."

"Eh san nga ba yung punta natin ngayon?" asked Aurora, hands on her hips. "May out of town field trip ba sa schedule for the day?"

Tina laughed and shook her head. "Wala naman. Sabi ko naman kasi sa inyo, di ko naman kailangan ng kasama. Malapit lang yung pagkukuhanan ko nung kutsilyo number eight."

Aurora pouted. She glanced at Jay and Marge before turning back to Tina. "Where's the  _thrill_ in that naman, Ate? Nakakacurious nga naman and besides, madalang lang na may free time uli tayong apat oh. Club meeting na din dapat to."

 _"Club meeting_ , right," Marge snorted as they marched out of the shop.

**Tuesday, 08-23-16, 10** **:30 AM, Mauaque, Mabalacat City**

The dust and smoke from the highway greeted them as they hopped out of the jeep. Tucking a lock of dark hair behind her ear, Jay followed Tina and the others down a side street, coughing. The smell of barbecue smoke wafted through the air as they passed by a line of _carinderias_. A quiet sort of wistfulness built up in Jay's chest as she remembered the  _carinderia_ back home - the same one where she properly met Goyong.

"Dito lang banda yung dating bahay namin," Tina was explaining. "Kami parin yung may ari at may nagmamaintain pa pero wala nang nakatira. Mas malapit rin naman kasi sa workshop ni Papa yung bahay sa San Fernando."

Jay looked around the assortment of houses both big and small, wondering about their destination. "So bakit may extra kutsilyo dun?"

"Hindi ako yung gumawa nun," Tina explained patiently. She smiled grimly and ran her fingers through her purple hair. "Nakadisplay lang siya sa bahay. Sabi ni Papa noon pinagpasapasahan magmula pasa mga lola ng lolo ko. I'm not related sa past life ko so..."

"Kulang yung info sa family history ano?" Aurora finished for her.

Tina nodded. "Actually, nandito rin ako kahapon para magimbestiga and mukhang nakausap din ni Tito Selong yung si _Apung Teresa,_ yung ngang lola ng lolo ko. Ginawa daw niya ito - parang prototype - para kay Tito Selong, tapos binalik din sa kanya after ilang years." She stopped in front of a set of wooden gates, unlatching them and leading her friends through a small, empty yard. It took her a while to fumble for her keys and unlock the door into a surprisingly clean yet empty house. A few boxes were stored by the russet painted walls, labelled neatly from top to bottom.

"Grabe bes, ang ganda ng dating bahay niyo," cooed Marge, looking around the antique chandeliers with awe.

Jay leaned against the wall, feeling lightheaded. As if on a whim, she tried to access her powers to get a feel of the place. She saw faint shimmers around her friends that told her they were doing the same. One of the boxes also glowed faintly with the same aura Jay felt around her knife,  _Siklab._ The haze of magic around the box felt older though.

With a cry of success, Tina whipped out an ornate knife that resembled her other works, an orange crystal glittering on its hilt. "Nakadisplay ito dati sa sala," she explained."Pero  _shet_ , diba? Ngayon ko lang talaga naisip na baka kagaya din nito yung mga kutsilyo natin. Nararamdaman niyo din yung magic, di ba?"

Jay nodded with a smile. "Thanks, Manang Tina." Things were looking up and it was great.

**Tuesday, 08-23-16, 1** **:15 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

She was bone tired when she finally got home. The feeling of fatigue came to her easily now that she was pregnant but she knew that it was  _just_ a feeling most of the time. She still had a couple of hours to herself and she decided to spend it practicing with her knives in the backyard. Without bothering to change, she marched to the training enclosure and began to warm up before throwing a few knives on her target. Her body felt too heavy though, too sluggish, and she missed a couple of them. With a sigh, she whipped up her longer pair and began to go through a couple of forms. She used to love the way that practicing calmed her, helped her anger and frustrations dissipate instead of feeding them.

A few minutes passed as she slowly built her intensity, realizing that the haze of fatigue and the mild ache in her joints was gone. She was already so engrossed in her training, skin slick with sweat, when she felt a sudden lurch of pain in her chest. She paused, planning to assess herself, when it started again.

It took her a while to realize that she was having trouble breathing too.

The pain in her chest began to intensify, blocking out coherrent thoughts. All she could do was stagger back, tripping and collapsing on the dirt floor. The pain was reached its zenith, burning away her consciousness in a wave of fire.

**Tuesday, 08-23-16, 3** **:15 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

"Jay? Jay?" A familiar, worried voice whispered as warm hands tried to shake her awake.

She mumbled something incoherrent as she slowly pulled herself back into consciousness, her mind still blanketed by a haze of dazed confusion. She found herself still in the enclosure, Goyong scooping her up into his arms. She felt sore - so sore. "Anyare?" she blurted out.

"Ako nga dapat ang magtanong niyan sa iyo," he whispered worriedly. "Pinagod mo bang masyado ang sarili mo?"

She tried to sit up and realized that her body was refusing to cooperate. It was just too plain  _tired_. She felt her heart do an odd, painful flop that convinced her not to even  _try._ "Yung sakit ko ata," she admitted honestly enough. She wasn't even feeling exhausted anymore when her heart began to act up, after all.

She didn't complain when Goyong carried her into the house and sat her down on the couch. She didn't complain when the other person currently at home, Vince, started fussing over her.

"Nay, hindi mo naman kasi dapat pinapagod yung sarili mo," he told her sternly. "Hayaan mo na yung sinabi nung matandang babaylan. Magpahinga ka nalang dito sa bahay. Hayaan mo na kaming humanap ng ibang paraan para talunin si Dolores."

She shook her head, tired and ill as she was. She didn't need her powers to warn her about the anger she could sense from him. "Vince, yun nga yung point ng sinabi niya.  _I have to do it_."

Ignoring her, Vince turned to Goyong, eyes ablaze. He grabbed the boy general by the collar. "Ikaw naman, 'Tay, alam mo nang buntis siya at may sakit eh! Pinapabayaan mo parin siyang gawin  _yan_ kahit na hindi healthy? Bakit di ka naghahanap ng ibang paraan para talunin si Dolores? Bakit di mo nalang siya hayaang magpahinga? Hindi mo ba siya mahal?"

Goyong gave him an absolutely chilling  _glare_. His hands closed on Vince's wrists. "Huwag mong sasabihing hindi ko siya mahal," he said, his voice a threatening growl. "Sa tingin mo ba gusto ko siyang magpagod at ilagay sa alanganin ang buhay niya at ng mga _anak_ namin, ha? Mahal ko si Jay ngunit alam ko din na may mga sarili tayong mga laban na dapat harapin - kahit na may dinaramdam tayo o pinagdaraanan."

Despite her body's not so subtle  _complaints,_ Jay leapt to her feet and pulled Vince away from Goyong before either of them started hurting each other. She positioned herself shakily right in between them, aware of the anger simmering from both of them. "Wag kayong mag-aaway," she growled. "Walang magsasakitan sa bahay na ito kung ayaw niyong mabasagan ng mukha. Vince, hindi naman sa I'm taking sides pero tama si Goyong. Alam kong galit na galit ako kay Dolores at gusto ko siyang sapakin ng kaliwa't kanan, pero  _buntis_ ako. Kung pwede lang, hahayaan ko na kayong asikasuhin siya para hindi malagay sa peligro yung mga anak sa sinapupunan ko. Pero di pwede eh. Kailangan kong gawin yun, at dapat gawin ko yun habang buntis ako."

Vince slumped over, looking defeated. "Fine. Fine." With a loud sigh, he marched to the kitchen and into the hallway leading to his room.

Goyong's arm wrapped around her waist, leading her back to her seat on the couch. "Pasensya na at nagalit ako. Ayoko lang na tila nagdududa siyang mahal kita."

"Naiintindihan ko naman," she said tiredly. The two shouldn't have been fighting - especially not  _because_ of her. She felt terrible about it but she supposed misunderstandings did happen even to the best of friends. "Magagalit din naman ako kung ibintang din sa akin yun."

He nodded and pulled her into an embrace. "Wag mo na akong tatakutin uli, Jay."

"Susubukan ko," she said with a grin. "Alam mo naman itong sakit ko. Upredictable" Despite her guilt and exhaustion and frustration, she felt  _loved_. She could worry about fixing the rift between the two later. For now, she had to rest so she could regain her strength.


	37. Awit ng Kabataan

_"Kung mahal mo ako, hahayaan mo ako," Miguel whispered in her ear as he pushed Jay against the wall, kissing her neck to her discomfort. "Tapos na yung finals naman. Di mo na kailangang umuwi ng maaga, hindi ba?"_

_"Ayaw ko. Tama na," Jay said, voice laced with an undercurrent of fear. She squirmed and struggled as he began to unbutton her pristine white blouse while his free hand clutched her waist. She didn't expect - nor sign up - for something like this._

_His lips moved to her ear, his voice a vile purr. "Boyfriend mo naman ako."_

_She flinched and used all the strength she had to push him away. "Sinabing ayoko eh!" Shaking from fear and confusion, she turned away and ran._

* * *

_She came home to an awfully quiet house. It seemed like Joven wasn't home from his day out with Rusca, and her mother was probably still busy drinking herself into a stupor. It was fine by her. She had a lot to process after what happened with Miguel. She had put up with him kissing her all the time and touching her inappropriately, but his attempts at forcing her into sex was way beyond the line._

_She was young and naive, true, but the wiser part of her head knew her limits._

_She barely had time to sit down in sofa that smelled faintly of smoke when the gates opened with a clang. Into the house Bella rushed, followed by a confused and terrified Joven._

_"Bakit nandyan ka? Ayokong nakikita yang pagmumukha mo!" the woman shrieked, taking Jay by the hair._

_The girl cried out as she was dragged to the kitchen and slammed against the floor. Winded, she didn't immediately register the knife in Bella's hand until her mother plunged it into her chest. Struggling, Jay tried to fight against her as Bella tried to yank off the knife. Before she did though, a white Joven managed to pull her away, slamming her against the table. Jay tried to calm herself, take a deep breath - and realized that she can't breathe. Her ears were ringing, her vision was fading, and she was barely conscious enough to see her brother knock their mother out with a blow to the back of her head._

**Friday, 08-26-16, 7:00** **AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Jay couldn't miss the tension at home - especially during meals. She could feel the glares Vince and Goyong shot at each other. Vince was still angry over Goyong letting a pregnant Jay preparing to do what only she could - defeat Dolores. Goyong was still angry over Vince doubting his love for her. Jay understood both of their points but Vince vehemently refused to make ammends with his friend.

"Mas maganda siguro kung bigyan muan natin silang dalawa ng  _space,_ " Etong muttered from her other side. "Ilang araw na ding sinubukang kausapin ni Addie si Vince pero waley rin."

Jay sighed. She barely had any appetite and yet she knew she had to eat. Staying healthy wasn't just for her sake now. "Pakiramdam ko kasi eh walang gagawin yung dalawang yan hangga't hindi sila pinaguuntog."

He raised a brow quizzically. "Well, isn't that in their  _nature_ naman? Hindi ako magaling sa pagbasa ng mga tao pero kahit ako, naaamoy kong stubborn yung dalawang yan. Well, if someone can make them shake hands ulit, I think ikaw nga yun."

She finished her meal in relative silence. After leaving in a crowded house for almost a year, she wasn't used to such stillness anymore. It was so  _unsettling_. The spike of sullen energy from Goyong and Vince seemed to seep through the house, making everyone feel wary of drawing too much attention to themselves.

It was difficult to relax until she was back in her room. She and Goyong were helping each other dress up for the day.

"Hindi mo parin ba siya pinapatawad?" Jay asked quietly as she smoothed his shirt a little too roughly.

With an exasperated sigh, his eyes latched on to her with a fervent heat. "Jay, kaibigan ko si Vince pero masakit ang sinabi niya."

She tilted her head with the slightest of pouts as he buttoned up her blouse. "Dahil nagtanong siya kung hindi mo ako mahal?"

"Parang nasuntok ako - hindi,  _higit_ pa doon," he said, looking down.

A gentle smile lit up her face as she reached out to pat his cheek. It did sting - especially coming from someone close to them. "Goyong, hindi naman natin mapipigilan na may magquestion pag minsan - kahit pa yung mga kaibigan natin. Alam kong masakit, trust me.  _Pero balu mu, ali naman pwedeng paburen tana mung masira ing pamakyabe tamu karela." Pero alam mo, hindi naman pwedeng pabayaan nating masira ang pakikisama natin sakanila_.

He paused, as if trying to translate what she just said in his head. "Kakausapin ko rin siya - pag handa na siya."

 **Friday, 08-26-16, 8:30** **AM, Astro Park, Clark Main Gate**

The light drizzling thankfully let up by the time Jay hopped off the jeep, leaving only a chill in the air and swirling gray skies. Clutching her purple hoodie close to her, she wound her way through the morning crowd. Her eyes roamed around in search of a familiar mane of golden hair and constantly checking her phone for any signs of Celeste's calls or texts. They had decided to meet up that day to go and scout the area for any reasons as to why it was necessary to conduct their final battle in there.

She spotted her friend slash cousin sitting on a cobblestone bench, clutching a bundle close to her. A feeling of warmth shot through Jay despite the cold breeze blowing at sight of mother and chiild.  _Soon._ She was also going to experience it soon. With a smile, she flicked her disconcertingly black hair away from her face and approached them.

"Dinala mo pala si Concha," she noted, cooing at the small, sleeping child.

Celeste looked up at her and grinned. "I'm sorry, wala akong mapag-iwanan sa bahay. May trabaho pa kasi si Ploo ngayon."

Jay tilted her head, eyebrows raised. "Di ka naman kailangang humingi ng tawad eh."

Celeste shook her head with a chuckle. Securing Concha, she rose to her feet, her hair rippling like molten gold. "So, yung  _salakot_ na sinasabi niyo...?"

"Say no more." Jay paused, orienting herself. She turned to the salakot and led the way, eyes anxiously scanning for signs of danger. It was difficult to relax, not after Celeste got shot. "Kamusta nga pala yung mga sugat mo?"

"Hirap parin akong lumakad at hinihingal parin ako sa sakit pag minsan pero manageable naman." Celeste made shushing noises as her daughter stirred in her arms, letting out a sniffle.

Jay nodded in acknowledgement as they reached the edges of the big landmark at the western end of the park - a towering arch shaped like the  _salakot_ hat. A group of teenagers were practicing a cheerdance on the smooth tiled floor under its shadow while some of their friends were lounging around the small steps leading to it. None of them spared a glance at the approaching women, which suited Jay just right. There was no need to raise any unwanted questions.

Concha began to fuss and cry softly, squirming in her mother's arms.

"Jusme, itong batang to talaga. Mana sa tatay," Celeste muttered with a roll of her eyes as she slowly rocked the baby, trying to soothe her. She glanced at Jay apologetically.

Jay chuckled. She was already preparing herself for a similar experience. She didn't really mind it. "Ayos lang, ang kulit."

She looked up at the salakot. Taking a deep breath, she held as much of the spark as she could, drawing in from the untapped magic in Poleng's wedding ring. It felt like she was going to burst from the sheer amount of power she was holding, and a part of her wondered if the others felt anything similar to that. Now that she was holding on to her magic, she could see the red aura of her magic swirling around, seemingly agitated and waiting for her to make use of it. Forcing herself to focus, she channeled her power into their surroundings, trying to get a better  _feel_ of it. She could sense Celeste doing the same, green specks of her magical aura intermingling with Jay's. It took them a while to spot the heavy blanket of black magic in the area, especially over the Salakot. Its malignant energy struggled against them, trying to repel them.

She could sense something older underneath the darkness, something trying to get out.

Exchanging glances with Celeste, she followed a dark trail leading to a tree just a small distance from the  _Salakot_. Using her spark, she slowly undid the sprinkling of dark magic there. Slowly, the earth fell away to reveal a yawning passage that slowly sloped downward. It was tempting to explore, but she had to be  _cautious -_ for her children's sake.

"Secret passage shit," whispered Celeste. "Ano, tutuloy ka ba?"

"Nope." Jay stepped back, sealing it with her magic and hoping no one noticed. "Too risky. Pag siguro marami akong kasama. Besides, baka mapunta pa sa peligro si Concha."

Celeste smiled in relief. "I don't mind getting dirty. Jusko, masayang gumulong gulong sa putik lalo na kapag..." She trailed away before realizing that she was starting to ramble. Shaking her head, she clutched Concha tighter. "So anek na?"

"I say we call a team meeting." Jay smiled back at her, feeling excited by the discovery.

 **Friday, 08-26-16, 10:30** **AM, Tea-rad Pass**

Jay was starting to feel a little tired and heavy when the entire team finally convened in the cafe staff room for an emergency meeting. It was a little cramped since they were on full attendance. Even Nena was there, having ran all the way from the school once her morning kindergarten class ended, Nonong who had no classes nor hospital shifts that day, and Paco who was thankfully right in the middle of a two hour break between classes.

"Mukhang malakiyang discovery niyo sa Astro Park ah. Di naman kayo basta basta nalang hihingi ng emergency meeting kung hindi," noted Joven.

"Major major discovery nga," agreed Celeste. Shifting her child in her arms and being careful not to disturb her suckling, she looked around the team, whose eyes were all on her. "May bad shit sa may Salakot - parang magic nung evil  _bitch_ of the north."

"Evil bitch of the north? Gusto ko yan," Cat said in approval. She leaned forward, fingers drumming rythmically on the table.

All businesslike, Paco cleared his throat to put them back on track. "So, pwera sa black magic, ano pang meron?"

"May secret passage." Jay raised her eyebrows when everyone's eyes locked onto her face. She could feel their worry and curiosity battling with each other. "No, hindi ako nag-usisa. Not willing to risk it, lalo na at si Celeste lang yung kasama ko at dala niya si Concha..."

Nena nodded in approval. "Good, good. Di mo pwedeng i-risk yang anak mo."

 _"Mga_ anak," corrected Goyong. He reached out to squeeze Jay's hand. "Kaduda duda naman siguro kung lahat tayo pupunta dun para magimbestiga."

"Mas maganda siguro kung kaming mga babaylan na lang yung pupunta dun," offered Marge. "Apat naman kami at may powers kami para protektahan yung sarili namin if ever na kailangan. At magiimbestiga lang naman kami, di kami makikialam."

Celeste smiled. " _Lima_. Count me in. Nasa bahay naman bukas si Paulo so siya na muna magbabantay kay Concha."

The lightest of frowns creased Nonong's face. "Para sa akin lang ah, wala naman sigurong gagawing masama si Dolores lalo na kung umaga. Lalo na palaging may maraming tao sa Astro Park."

"Knowing Dolores, siguradong may  _booby traps_ yan," noted Angela. "Better safe than sorry."

"So, in favor ba kayo na yung  _babaylan squad_ na yung makiki-uzi dun sa secret passage shit na yun?" Julian asked.

Everyone, including a sullen Vince, nodded. Jay felt reckless excitement light up in her head.  _Sorry, not sorry. Kami naman ang mambubulabog sa iyo ngayon, Dolores._

 


	38. Born for This

_She spent her days in the hospital brooding, thinking of what her mother had done to her. The pain in her chest radiated throughout her body and she was sure it had cracked her soul, too. She wept and slept her mornings off, refusing to talk to even Joven and Rusca. Not even Zen Aragon and her young daughter, Aurora, got much of a peep from her. Her thoughts weren't just about her mother's attempt to murder her and Miguel's attempt to force her into sex. Fragmented memories of a girl named Poleng and a boy named Goyong - who looked awfully like someone from her history books - were flashing in her head, making her feel much worse._

_It didn't help that Miguel came to visit three days into her hospital stay, swaggering into the room as if their awkward last meeting did not happen at all. "Looking good," he said with a brilliant smile, apparently oblivious to the look of distaste that he was receiving._

_A quiet fear stirred in Jay's chest, whispering that Miguel can do absolutely anything as she was all but immobile and in pain on her bed. "Anong kailangan mo sa akin?" she asked, trying to inject as much anger as she could. She had not forgiven him for what he tried to do to her._

_"I just wanted to tell you na nagbalikan na kami ni Sarah so I don't have much use for you anymore. We're over." He grinned, as if he had just delivered the greatest news in the world. "No offense, but despite your bombass body, mas mature kasi si Sarah. She lets me do things. Unlike you."_

_Jay would have felt simply defeated three days ago - but she wasn't the same person anymore. Rage filled her - fiery, hot, empowering. "Go fuck yourself, Miguel," she growled. If she had more strength in her, she would have beaten him up. "I don't need shit in my life."_

**Saturday, 08-27-16, 9:45**   **AM, Astro Park**

The group that scouted the area was much bigger than Jay expected. The four  _babaylans of Angeles_ were there, as planned, but so were their boyfriends. Nonong and the del Pilar trio were all lurking at the edge of the park with Manuel Bernal's trusty Revo, which they brought along as a getaway ride just in case something wrong happens.

The babaylan ladies themselves stood a small distance away, trying to spot Celeste in the weekend crowd. It was a good day for her pregnancy. She didn't feel any of the nausea and fatigue that she had grown familiar to. Unfortunately, it was replaced by a quiet feeling of anxiety creeping over the air of bravado that she tried to keep up. Staying still and not fidgeting at all was a challenge.

By chance, she spotted a sleek black car pull up not far from the Revo, its shiny fresh paint glimmering even under the stormy blanket of a cloudy sky. Loud rock music blared from it, disrupting the relatively peaceful day. Others would have cringed but Jay actually found herself approving.

 _"Pashnea_ naman ng driver na yan," groaned Aurora. "Umagang umaga eh!"

Then door on the passenger's side opened. Her mane of flaxen hair preceeded Celeste, who was clutching Concha in her arms. From the driver's side was a young man in a black jacket who Jay was sure she would either loathe or get along well with. He was quite tall and far, reminiscent of the del Pilars, his sideswept hair a mess. His eyes - and a good part of his face - was hidden by his black rimmed shades, though a sunny smile was plastered on his face. He draped an arm around Celeste's shoulder as they approached the group. Jay noted the way he carried himself with the same outward bravado she did, and noted with amusement that  _Celeste_ was the one who carried herself like Goyong did, the restrained ferocity more evident in her.

" _Yan_ yung boyfriend ni Manang Celeste?" Marge breathed in horror.

"Parang di naman siya masama," noted Tina.

Celeste beamed as they approached. "Hi! I'm sorry medyo nalate, ang kulit kasi nitong si Paulo."

Paulo grinned, giving them an enthusiastic nod. "Nice to meet you! Ang dami daming kwento nitong si Tee sa akin, alam niyo yun? You guys sound like amazing friends."

"Kapag tinawagan mo ulit akong  _Tee,_ tatawagin kitang Ploo," she shot back with a roll of her eyes.

Jay blinked, staring. "Uh, you just  _did,_ friend."

 **Saturday, 08-27-16, 10:00**   **AM, Astro Park**

The babaylan squad and their boyfriends gathered around the tree where Jay discovered the passage, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. Jay caught Goyong stealing furtive glances at Paulo, as if studying the newcomer. Looking away, she focused on the tree as she gathered her spark, letting it give her a view of the aura surrounding the area. She could see the red trails of her magic intermingling with the others - Aurora's yellow, Tina's purple, Marge's blue, Celeste's green. Even the faint silver sparks of the weaker sort of power from the del Pilars - and to her surprise, Paulo - was  visible too. She could also feel the ancient thrum of energy in the area hushed up by the sluggish sight of the dark magic, feeling as sluggish and vile as oil against her powers. She directed her magic on the ground again, slowly moving the earth to open the passage.

"Hanggang ngayon amazing parin silang panoorin pag nagmamagic sila, ano?" noted Nonong.

"Amazing nga, basta ba hindi  _ikaw_ yung ginagamitan niya ng magic," muttered Julian.

Jay's lips quirked up in a grin as she uncovered the slope leading underground. "Eto yung sinasabi ko kahapon," she said, stepping aside to show it to them. "For the record, di ko kayang gamitin ng maayos yung powers ko para gumawa ng secret passage at si Marge ang may gamit ng earth powers."

Stepping forward brazenly, Paulo curiously peered at the passageway, slipped, and promptly  _fell_ into it. His startled yell echoed for a couple of seconds before being stopped by a muffled thump.

"Putangina naman," grunted Goyong.

"Tutulungan ba natin yun?" asked Tina.

Celeste grimaced as she turned to Julian. "Kuya, do you mind holding my baby muna?"

"Gora lang," Julian said, graciously taking a fussy Concha.

Nodding to each other, the women carefully clambered down the passageway. Jay barely had time to process the speed with which they descended. It only took them a short while before they made to even ground. They were in a dark, spacious cavern that reeked of dark magic all over.  _Dolores?_ She spotted Paulo standing by the earthen wall, looking around.

"Anong lugar to?" he asked, confused.

"Mas maganda siguro kung..." Aurora snapped her fingers, and orbs of iridescent light surrounded them, twinkling and illuminating the area. "Maliwanag ang buhay."

Jay smiled in appreciation. The cavern seemed pretty empty, except for what looked like earthen lumps along one side of the wall that served as means of climbing out, and passageway leading further underground. "Ready na ba kayo?" she asked.

"Teka, isasama ba natin to?" Marge asked, giving their male companion a side eye.

"Beh, samahan mo na muna si Concha?" Celeste asked.

Paulo nodded, his sunny bravado suddenly shifting into something more  _solemn,_ more serious. "Kaya ko na sigurong umakyat mula dito. Ingatan niyo nalang yung mga sarili niyo." He leaned forward to give a kiss to Celeste before nodding to the girls. Bracing himself, he began to climb out of the cavern.

"I'm sorry, pag minsan medyo gago siya but he has a good heart," said Celeste. "He pretends to be some other person lang nga pag minsan."

"Di ba ganyan naman talaga yung mga boyfriends? Gago pero mabuti naman yung kalooban?" asked Jay.

"Guys, priorities," Tina said, tapping her foot rythmically on the ground.

Steeling herself, Jay headed for the yawning passageway, pleased that some of the lights that Aurora made were following her through the winding path she took. Soft echoing footsteps reassured her that her friends were following, making her feel bolder.

They eventually reached another, much larger cavern. To her surprise, it looked more like a small, underground base. A pair of beds were on either sides of the room, along with shelves of old books, a bedside table with a lamp and a framed picture, and various assortment of old crystals and charms.

A painting was on the rocky ceiling - the painting of a great black bird attempting to devour five smaller ones in varying colors.

"Is that supposed to be Dolores and us?" Aurora asked in mild disgust.

Jay rubbed her chest, feeling a slight tugging pain. She looked at the books on the shelves, which were mostly a collection of college textbooks and history books. "I think so. Pero di pa naman tayo sure na sakanya nga to."

"Well, sure na tayo." Marge announced, peering at the bedside table.

They gathered around her, looking at the picture on it. It was a class picture full of nursing students. Jay recognized Nonong, standing at the very back and grinning cheekily at the camera. Nodding to herself, her eyes roved down to a row of girls - and nearly jumped when she realized that one of them looked so  _wrong._

She remembered that picture from the Museo that JT Bugallion showed them all those months ago. An older, more sinister image was superimposed over Dolores' smiling visage, as if reminding them of how  _vile_ she actually was.

"Creep-o," Aurora breathed in horror.

"Yan ba yung  _true form_ niya?" asked Celeste.

Jay shrugged. "Yun yung theory. Nasty little piece of shit naman siya eh."

 **Saturday, 08-27-16, 11:30** **AM, Astro Park**

Thankfully, Dolores decided  _not_ to show up. They spent quite some time turning the place upside down. Aside from the crystals and amulets which emitted an aura so dark theu were all too afraid to touch even just one, they found no other sign of magic spells or witchcraft. They could feel it all around them though, feel the darkness seeping through the walls.

"Kung nandito man yung source ng power ni Dolores, tinago niya yun ng maigi," mused Jay. "Kahit yung manikang ginamit niya para sumpain ako wala rin dito."

Tina patted her warmly. "We did what we can, beh. At least may deets tayo."

They eventually found themselves scrambling back to the surface, where the men helped them up. They must have been quite a sight, being dusty and sweaty and tired, but it didn't matter. Goyong quickly scooped up Jay in a tight hug once she was able to gather her surroundings.

"Kamusta yung pag-uusisa niyo?" he asked softly, the sunlight setting his crimson hair ablaze.

"Well, may mga bagay kaming naprove," she said, returning his embrace. Straightening up, she could feel everyone gazing at her. "Lungga nga ni Dolores yung nasa ibaba - may nakita kaming picture. Hinala din namin na dito naka-concentrate yung magic niya kaya pala dapat natin siyang labanan dito. At... hindi ko nahanap yunganikang ginamit niya para sumpain ako."

His eyes tightened. "Ang mahalaga ay nakuha natin ang kaya nating makuha dito."

She nodded glumly. Putting an arm around his waist, they led the rest of the group back to the parking area to grab some lunch. She caught the feeling of something malevolent nearby and froze.

Dolores was standing in a distance, eyeing them warily. Her eyes flitted between Celeste, who was clutching her daughter and looking fiercely protective, and Jay.

No one moved or spoke for a few seconds.

Slowly, languidly, Jay lifted her upper lip, baring her canines and flashing a devious grin at Dolores. She was sure that it was enough to dispel the witch's confusion.

Before she could spit out more taunts, Dolores went pale and bolted away in terror - not toward her hiding place but to the highway.

_Konting tiis nalang at masasapak ko na siya ng kaliwa't kanan._


	39. This is War

_The next few days after the hospital blazed by in a haze. Everything around Jay felt like it had turned upside down - her mother was in jail, her boyfriend had shown his true colors, and his usually inclusive classmates seemed too awkward to approach her once she rejoined the class._

_She focused on her schoolwork instead - focused on finishing projects and papers on time. It wasn't because she was becoming studious - it was because she had other plans for her free time. She mostly kept to her room now instead of mingling with her brother and their friends. She had learned to sneak in liquor and drink her sorrows away, withdrawing into her shell._

_A quiet part of her mind told her that she couldn't stay that way. She had to keep moving forward, burn the bridges of the past, light the torches of her future. Besides, her brother needed her._

_She made sure Joven could see it that Saturday afternoon when she decided to dump all the liquor bottles she stored in her room. She could sense him staring at her, studying her movements, listening to the sound of glass clinking as she stacked the small box of bottles atop their trash bin. She wanted to start anew, and she knew the best way to do it - make some changes in her appearance._

* * *

_Over the past six weeks, she experimented with bottles of bright hair dye, struggling with learning how to apply them herself. She had gone through most shades already - gold and silver, blue and purple, green. All of them didn't seem to fit her, or her vision of what she wanted. The crimson shade that now lit up her hair seemed closer to her taste, her wavy locks now rippling like fllames. She was now like the phoenix, ready to be reborn from her own ashes that she slumbered in._

_She grabbed the flier from her university - a flier about hiring new staff members for the student council office. She would check it out before signing up for that self defense class that Rusca was talking about the other day. Heading downstairs to the new apartment that she now lived in with Joven, she saw her brother look up, nodding in approval. "Mas bagay mo yan," he said._

_A smile graced her lips - the first smile she didn't need to force out. "Thanks."_

_Joven handed her an unopened package. "Lipstick, galing kay Tita Zen."_

_Opening the package and unveiling the lipstick, she raised it to eye level, observing the beautiful, ruby shade. "Perfect."_

**Saturday, 09-03-16, 11:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Jay only had twenty days before the night of the equinox.

She didn't feel afraid - on the contrary, she was excited. Everything they've worked for in the past few months was about to come to its conclusion, and she was going to play a huge part in it. She and her friends would finally be able to breathe a sigh of relief and start living their lives in relative safety.

Selong came to visit her that day. She should have been surprised but everyone knew just how eccentric her boyfriend's uncle was. She found him in the living room, deep in discussion with an amused Rusca. Both of them fell quiet and looked up as she approached. She smiled and waved. "Kailangan niyo daw ako?"

"Oo, hija." Selong watched her with his unsettling, unwavering gaze as she sat down on her favorite beanbag, a hand on her stomach. It felt oddly  _tight_ that day. "May dalawampung araw ka na lang bago kayo magharap ni Dolores. Sigurado akong nagpunta na kayo sa Astro Park para makiusisa diba?"

Jay nodded, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "Lungga po ata ni Dolores yun eh."

"Mismo. Inangkin niya ang sinaunang kapangyarihang umaaligid sa lugar na iyon - kapangyarihan na nandoon na magmula pa noong panahon ng ating mga ninuno." His eyes watched her shrewdly.

"Kaya pala wala kaming mahanap na kahit anong  _power source_ ," she noted. They all but turned the place upside down and came up empty handed. "So yung lugar mismo yun, ano? Walang anting anting o ano pang kachorvahan?"

He shook his head. "Yung lugar lang mismo, hija. Ito rin ang dahilan kung bakit kailangan mo siyang talunin sa Astro Park - dahil doon siya pinakamalakas."

She figured out as much.  _Kakayanin. Kailangang kayanin._ She couldn't - shouldn't - balk. "Bakit kailangan pa pong gumawa ng - ng magic nung iba habang nilalabanan ko siya? Pahihinain po ba nila si Dolores para mas madaling talunin?"

"Negative." Selong leaned back with a disconcerting grin. "Ikukulong natin ang kaluluwa niya sa Angeles para hindi siya makatakas kapag nasugpo mo na ang katawang lupa niya. May ibibgay akong isang mahalagang bagay sa iyo sa mga susunod na araw - isang bagay na tutulong sa iyo para matalo siya ng tuluyan."

"Pasensya na po pero... hindi po ba  _too much_ para sakanya yun?" Rusca asked. "Buntis siya, tapos may sakit pa. Alam kong may  _phenomenal cosmic powers_ ang mga babaylan pero..."

Jay looked down, feeling her hands clam up. She tried hard - harder lately - to stay positive, stay fearless. She had a prophecy to fulfill. She had children to keep safe. It was getting harder and harder though, the more people began to doubt her capability. Despite her constant show of bravado, she finally had to admit that she was  _afraid_. Despite her powers, she was still new to her craft. Dolores had centuries to hone hers.

It took her a while to realize that they were watching her. "Nagsisinungaling ako kung sasabihin kong hindi ako natatakot pero sinabi ko na din ito kay Vince. Gagawin ko ito kasi kailangan kong gawin."

**Wednesday, 09-07-16, 6:30 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Her wet hair glistened crimson as she looked up at the mirror, finally finishing her task for the night. Dolores was sure that she lived now - there was no use hiding it anymore. Jay hadn't properly felt like herself for over a month now and it was about time that she was finally back to what she was most comfortable with. A brilliant smile filled her face at the sight of her reflection. She was seeing herself the way she loved to, the way Dolores learned to fear her.

The bathroom door opened and Goyong peeked in, his newly dyed black hair still damp. "Tapos ka na ba?" he called out.

She turned to him, a hand on her stomach. She couldn't see any difference yet but her skin felt too  _tight_ already. "Tapos na tapos. May problema ba?"

He leaned against the doorframe, watching her approach him with a languid sway of her hips. "Gusto daw tayong kausapin ni Vince."

 _About time._ Leading the way out of the hallway and down the stairs, she let him take her hand. Her grip tightened as she felt just how cold he was.  _"Kakarug ka ba?" Kinakabahan ka ba?_

A small, nervous laugh escaped his lips. "Impossibleng hindi kabahan."

"I know, beh," she mumbled. She cold still remember the hostility that rolled off Vince in waves. She wasn't exactly looking forward to facing that again.

They found Vince lounging at the bottom of the stairs, watching Paco and Jose setting down the dinnerware. He was pretty aware of their approach though, budging on his spot to give them space.

"Are you ready to talk na ba?" Jay asked, putting a hand on his shoulder. She felt relieved when he didn't shrug it off.

"Gusto kong magapologize - na hindi ko inintindi yung pinagdadaanan niyo, at sa sinabi ko kay Tatay." He kept his eyes downcast, as if to show his remorse. "Pero 'Nay, naniniwala parin akong pinapagod mong masyado yung sarili mo."

"Tanggap ko yun, 'Nak," she told him quietly. "Natatakot din naman ako na mapasobra ako sa limitations ng katawan ko. Pero sabi mo nga, naiintindihan mo naman yung situation namin, hindi ba? Kung pwede lang talaga, kahit na masakit sa loob ko eh ipapahinga ko nalang yung sarili ko."

Goyong stared at them grimly. "Hindi rin madali para sa akin 'to, pero ayun nga.  _Kailangan_."

"Alam ko na yan ngayon," acknowledged Vince. He smiled at them, running his fingers through his hair in a move reminiscent of the boy general himself. "Nay, siguraduhin mong walang matitira kahit alikabok kay Dolores, ha?"

"Definitely." Jay flashed her fiercest smile at him. She was afraid, she knew it, but she sure as hell won't let it get the best of her.

**Wednesday, 09-14-16, 10:30 AM, Tea-rad Pass**

She only had a few days left before facing Dolores. It felt  _surreal,_ the way time seemed to blaze by now that they had yet another clear deadline to face. She was being reminded yet again of why she hated deadlines when she was still a student. They felt so... confining.

There she was in the cafe though, sitting on a secluded set of tables put together for their group - her and the three other babaylans of Angeles and the Bonifacios. She felt her fingers clam up as she felt all eyes on her, wondering how to start that day's meeting. She was no leader, no  _general_. This wasn't something she was good at. She couldn't let it show, though. Her bravado was the only thing holding her together right now.

"Nasabi na ata sa inyo ni Goyong na haharapin na namin si Dolores sa twenty three," she began, trying to cover up the quiver in her voice. She clenched and unclenched her fists once, twice, thrice, trying to ignore the sweat on her palms. "In theory, it sounds simple enough. Lalabanan ko sa Astro Park si Dolores, habang may magmamagic sa mga pinaka-prominent borders ng Angeles at dalawang lugar sa kalagitnaan din ng city."

"That sounds potentially...  _illegal,_ " Oryang noted in amusement.

Tina rolled her eyes. "Kung may nagenumerate ng lahat ng illegal shit na ginawa namin magmula nung January, malamang nakakulong na kami ngayon."

"At alam kong may mga iba dito na last year pa yung illegal activities," Aurora said with a smirk.

Andres cleared his throat to get their attention. "So kailangan niyo ba ng tulong para pagtakpan namin yang pinaggagagawa niyo?"

Jay pointed a finger gun at him.  _"Bingo."_

A small laugh escaped Marge's lips. Flicking some of her sapphire hair away from her face, she turned to the Bonifacios. "I hope we're not asking too much. Yung trabaho niyo din kasi baka naman maapektuhan dahil dito."

Oryang waved her hands, as if dismissing her concern. "Don't worry, my dear cousin. Hindi lang kayo ang BDO. We also find ways."

**Wednesday, 09-14-16, 2:00 PM, Tea-rad Pass**

Jay found herself sitting by the bar after the meeting, watching Goyong at work. She missed working daily at the cafe, greeting customers with a smile or working on pastries and desserts. It wasn't likeshe needed to work, especially as she was one of the owners, but she loved what she was doing. Things were rapidly changing around her and despite most people being afraid of it, she was willing to face the future and embrace all the possibilities it had in store for her.

"Ang layo naman ng tingin mo diyan," Goyong noted once he finally finished serving a fresh batch of customers, unaware of the chocolate smeared on his face.

She reached forward to wipe it off, licking her fingers slowly after that. "Namiss ko lang yung dati - nung nagtatrabaho pa ako dito." A sudden idea struck her as she saw the way his eyes followed her lips, clearly mesmerized. "Since malapit ko nang harapin si Dolores, gusto ko siyang hamunin at um... kutyain."

His face was filled with a look of approval. "Magandang ideya yan.  _Devious_. May naisip ka na bang paraan kung paano mo gagawn yan?"

Planning was definitely her weak point. "Alam mo namang shit planner ako. May ideas ka ba?"

The grin he flashed at her was definitely as  _devious_ as her plan. "Meron. Since mahilig siya sa ganun, bulabugin mo din siya sa panaginip niya."

Jay nodded, rubbing her chin. She didn't know  _how_ to do it but she was sure it can be done. She and the other babaylans had already managed it unconsciously once, with some help from Mayang's spirit. It wouldn't hurt for her to try it for herself this time. It was time to give Dolores a dose of her own medicine.


	40. Heroes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team faces its problem

_The final vestiges of the orange sunset lit up the sky as all college departments' street dance slash Mardi Gras performers finally took their bright performance to the university stage after two hours of dancing in the streets. Clutching her metallic fans close to her, Jay followed the rest of the IT performers, steeling herself. She was no dancer, no beauty, but there she was, carried to the stage as the princess of their show. The sophomore was the only one among the small number of girls in their college who could properly fit in the costume, after all, and spending the past fourteen months in self defense classes meant that her footwork could keep up with the dance of the bamboo poles._

_She was afraid and nervous, yes, but her outer bravado and confidence was her fiery armor. She had learned not to show fear again after what she had gone through before. She would do what was expected of her with all the boldness she could muster._

_Joven and Rusca were in the crowd, rooting for her. Their trust in her lent her strength. She would make them proud._

_It was good practice for her, she knew. Her heart told her that she would cross paths with the boy who was once Goyong of Bulacan once again, and she knew she needed all the confidence she had for that meeting._

**Friday, 09-22-16, 11:45 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Jay watched Goyong slip under the blanket beside her, his brow furrowed as he gazed at her. "Handa ka na ba sa gagawin mo?" he asked, clearly worried.

She nodded,  _truly_ confident of what she was going to do this time. She had spent the past few nights practicing on Goyong and the other babaylan ladies, trying to slip in and out of their dreams. She wasn't an expert - it would take years for her to master even just one disciplone of her new craft, but what she had was enough.

"Keribells na to, don't worry," she told him, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze. She had to prove that Dolores was right to fear her.

Lying down and closing her eyes, she summoned as much of the spark as she could hold, drawing both from herself and Poleng's wedding ring. Struggling to focus, she tried to keep an image of Dolores and Astro Park in her head as she used her powers to fall asleep.

_She found herself standing in a dream version of her destination - Astro Park's Salakot. Dolores was already standing there, looking around with a mix of fear and confusion. Her eyes widened as Jay came into view, mouth falling open in a comical manner. "Ikaw!"_

_'Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you've seen the last of me." Jay smirked at her, hands on her hips. It was a controlled dream, and she could still feel the power thrumming in her body. She wasn't powerful or knowledgeable enough to affect Dolores in the waking world, but she wasn't interested in that, anyway. "Long time no see. Kamusta naman ang buhay?"_

_"Bakit buhay ka pa?" Dolores lunged forward, as if to attack her._

_Jay sidestepped her easily and held out her hand. Bindings of harmless but hot white flames restrained Dolores, stopping her in her tracks. "Sorry, bes, pero you don't have power over me."_

_The witch stared at her vehemently, trying to struggle against their bonds. It seemed like their theory was right - only the creator of the dream world could use her powers. "Anong kailangan mo sa akin?"_

_"Hindi natin pwedeng iwasan ang isa't isa habambuhay," she baring her teeth. "Nandito lang ako para hamunin ka. Dito. Bukas ng gabi."_

_Dolores threw her head back and laughed. "Ikaw, hahamunin ako? Kung nakaligtas ka sa aking sumpa, tiyak akong hindi nawala ang sakit mo."_

_Jay rolled her eyes. "Sa tingin mo ba matatakot ako sayo dahil lang dun? Think again." Her bravado burned away the last vestiges of fear. She would defeat Dolores as was foretold - it was why the witch feared her._

_"Tinatanggap ko ang iyong alok." Dolores sneered at her. "Humanda ka dahil hindi na kita bubuhayin."_

_"Bring it on." It was Jay's turn to laugh. "Baka kainin mo yang sinabi mo."_

**Friday, 09-23-16, 8:30 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

It was finally the night of the equinox. Sunset was already a few hours behind them. Jay felt no shred of fear anymore, no hesitations nor misgivings.

Selong dropped by just as the entire team - including Celeste and her boyfriend, Paulo - to leave and pulled Jay aside. "Naaalala mo pa ba ang huling pinagusapan natin?" he asked.

She had to admit that it was impossible not to remember it. "Yun po yung dun sa orasyon po para ikulong dito sa Angeles ng kaluluwa ni Dolores, diba?"

"Tama." Selong rummaged in his satchel and took out a bracelet made of intricate gold and silver wirework, and iridiscent crystals. He handed it to her solemnly. "Gamitin mo ito at makikita mo ang kaluluwa ni Dolores upang masugpo na ito ng tuluyan."

Slipping the bracelet on, she didn't really feel any different. Maybe it would show its powers once it was time for her to use it. She wouldn't have been surprised. It was how most magic worked. "May iba pa po ba kayong advise para sa amin?"

Selong smiled and turned to the rest of the team. "Kailangan niyong bantayan ang mga gagawa ng orasyon at napaghandaan ni Dolores ang maaari niyong gawin. Hayaan niyong gawin ni Jay mag-isa ang kanyang trabaho. Magtiwala kayo at magagawa niya ang kailangan niyang gawin."

Jay brimmed with both fear and confidence at his words. She knew she had to do it alone, but she hoped - at least - that someone would be watching out for her.  _Kakayanin_.

**Bonus**

**Friday, 09-23-16, 9:00 PM, Angeles City Proper**

Goyong was the first to set off alone, as dictated by Selong. He couldn't understand why they had to do it by batch, as he hoped he could have at least a few minutes more to talk to Jay, reassure her that he won't do anything stupid and get hurt. As much as he wanted to be afraid  _for_ her, his confidence in her courage and abilities far eclipsed every bit of fear in her head. He was more afraid of why he was setting off for  _his_ destination alone.

The city streets were oddly quiet and empty that night. An odd chill hung in the air as an eerie shadow seemed to cover the entire area.

He made it on foot to the heritage zone and was passing by the Pamintuan Mansion when he saw a sudden glimmer of movement. Working from pure instinct, he whipped out the knife that he was supposed to be using for the ritual and dodged the blur of darkness that came right at him. He staggered as Aguinaldo's doppleganger tried to barrel right at him with his black knife. Biting back a shout, he parried a blow and dodged a punch. He couldn't - wouldn't - make it on time to the church to begin his ritual if the fight went on for much longer.

Naturally powerful and stronger than him and the other dopplegangers, his foe scored a lucky hit, swiping right across his abdomen. It wasn't deep, but the pain seemed to burn. Biting back the urge to yell, he lurched forward and used his weapon to cut across his foe's cheek.

Angered, the doppleganger threw him off with a sudden surge of strength, right on the cobblestone pavement. Winded, a plan of a plan suddenly lit up his thoughts. He was too hurt to dodge the doppleganger's knife as it ripped through his old, old stitches.  _Bwakanginang shet._

The pain was almost too much to bear and yet it gave him an idea. Giving in just a little to the pain, he cried out and forced himself to go limp. Controlling his breath, he tried to make himself as still as possible.

Playing dead - or dying - seemed to work. Keeping up the act when the doppleganger gave him a sharp kick in the ribs. He sensed his enemy leaving after a while, melting into the shadows, taking the dark and heavy feeling with it.

Forcing himself to his feet, he staggered forward, making his way to the church, hurt and bleeding. He had to finish the ritual.

**Friday, 09-23-16, 9:15 PM, McArthur Highway**

Julian found himself walking out of the houe and to the highway with Julio, Marge, and Tina while some members of the team had already left beforehand and would be waiting for them. He couldn't understand why their protectors had to move out before them, but he supposed everything had to be according to Selong's visions. At least the four of them would keep each other company before they parted for their destinations.

"May kailangan pala kayong malaman," Marge said, exchanging glances with Tina. "Mga four weeks na din to pero di namin alam pano sabihin..."

"May problema ba?" Julian felt his gut flutter. He was sure he knew where it was going.

"Let me guess..." Julio rubbed his forehead. "...buntis kayo."

Tina gave him a cheeky smile. "Mismo. Alam namin na medyo biglaan but at least may incentive kayong  _bumalik ng buhay._ "

It  _was_ an incentive to come back alive, indeed. Things were changing around them and he had to be there to witness it.  _Hindi ko kayo pwedeng iwanan._

**Friday, 09-23-16, 9:30 PM, McArthur Highway**

Julio barely had time to process that he was going to be a  _father_ before things went downhill.

They barely crossed the startlingly empty highway when someone too familiar emerged from what looked like the shadows. Aguinaldo's doppleganger, in its full, vile glory, made its way toward them, knife raised.

 _It's payback time_.

It was definitely easy to destroy now, with the amazing babaylan ladies accompanying then. With a flick of Marge's hand, the earth under the sidewalk rumbled, throwing the creature off its feet. Swiftly, Tina held out her hand and hurled what looked like purple lightning on its face.

Julio exchanged glances with Julian,who gave him a nod. Together, as if they had practiced it all this time, they moved forward in harmony. Julian used his ritual knife to slit the dazed creature's throat while Julio plunged his weapon in its black heart.

**Friday, 09-23-16, 9:45 PM, Brgy. Cutcut**

Sitting in Rusca's car, Nonong felt jittery from anxiety - not for himself, but for Aurora who was sitting right beside him. Rusca himself was driving steadily toward their designated area - the border between Angeles and the town of Porac.

Nena kept sneaking concerned glances at them. "Malapit na tayo. Ready na ba kayo?"

Aurora winked. "Fuck yeah! Gra-graduate pa ako!"

Nonong had no idea how to boost her morale except mumble, "Same."

Despite their mental preparations, they weren't ready for what was waiting at the border.

"Pakshet, mukhang mapapalaban tayo," Rusca growled.  _"Ali na makatula ini." Hindi na nakakatuwa ito._

Nonog gritted his teeth. "Protect Aurora at all cost. Yun ang sabi ni Tito Selong."

Dozens of humanoid figures made of shadows, eyes shimmering like red hot brimstone, were standing in the area, gazing at the car. The smell of sulfur seeped through the car. Nonong found it easy to believe that they were Dolores' safety measures against the ritual.

The Wicked Witch of Angeles City summoned the legions of hell to fight the team.

**Friday, 09-23-16, 10:00 PM, Astro Park**

Celeste decided to stay on the backseat and keep Jay company, giving up her spot on the shotgun seat for Manuel Bernal, who was accompanying them.

"Malapit na tayo sa Astro," Paulo called out to them from his spot behind the wheel. "Sure kang ayos ka lang na maglakad mula sa parking lot, Jay?"

Jay nodded with full confidence. "I need to make an entrance." She turned to Celeste, her bravado giving way to concern. "Hindi naman namin hiningi ito mula sa inyo ni Paulo pero salamat ha? Napilitan pa tuloy kayong iwan yung anak niyo sa lola niya."

Celeste patted her hand thoughtfully. "Wala yun. Laban na rin namin to magmula nung naging estudyante ko kayo. Besides, we're family naman, hindi ba?"

A smile lit up Jay's arms as she gave her cousin a quick hug. "Thanks, tol." They stopped right at the parking area. "See you later."

"Jay, hinay hinay sa damage to property," Manuel called out as the woman in question hopped out of the car. He got nothing but a wink in reply.

They had to drive just a few seconds more until they reached the Clark Main Gate - the border between Clark Air Base and Angeles. A bunch of hazy, shadowy creatures with disturbing red eyes loomed ahead, as if waiting for their move.

Paulo killed the engine and opened his door. "Ano, ready na ba kayo?"

Celeste was afraid - who wouldn't be? Nevertheless, she summoned her spark, feeling it rush into her like a torrent of water, clutching her new knife close to her. "Let's mosey."


	41. Live to Rise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay finishes the job

_Things were looking up indeed. It was just a few weeks after her brother's graduation - about a month before her last year in college - and there they were, starting up their own business. Jay couldn't help but smile proudly as Joven flipped the sign by the entrance for the first time. Tea-rad Pass was officially open. In spite of the sizeable inheritance they had as two of the last Hernandos, opening the cafe was still a daunting task and yet, there they were, a pair of young entrepreneurs opening their cafe._

_"Sa tingin mo kikita to?" Joven asked as the small squad of working students that they managed to hire took their places around the cafe, preparing themselves for any customer that might drop in._

_Jay leaned against the bar, grinning as a pair of girls flounced into the premises, giggling to each other. "Oo naman. See? May customers na nga tayo eh."_

_"Sana nga." Joven straightened up, greeting the girls by the cashier._

_It wasn't long before a few more customers filed into the cafe, checking out the menu and placing their orders. Jay manned the bar that day, having practiced for weeks. Things were steadily looking up ever since her mother was gone from their lives. She was feeling a measure of peace despite the fact that her fragmented memories of Poleng and the boy general haunted her at times. They were rising from the ashes of the past, bit by bit, and they were moving past the family tragedy. Jay wasn't completely okay, but she was functional and relatively happy, and she was fine with that._

**Friday, 09-23-16, 10:15 PM, Astro Park**

Jay felt her palms break out in cold sweat as she marched from the parking lot to the Salakot, feeling the tingle of dark magic in the air as she noted the unusually empty area. It was everywhere around her and yet it seemed to be veering toward the area behind her - to Clark Main Gate, where three of her friends were marching to. She worried about them and the others who were scattered all over the city, and yet she also had to  _focus_. She had to trust in her friends' abilities to protect each other.

Dolores was waiting not far from the Salakot, her dark curls in place despite the gentle breeze. She carried herself with so much confidence and yet her eyes spoke of her fear. She wasn't as self assured as she made herself out to be, it seemed.

Jay's hand flew to her sleeves, feeling up her concealed knives while she summoned up more of her powers. She knew Dolores had centuries of knowledge compared to her meager three months but she would have to rely on the sheer strength of her magic that she had at her fingertips. "Akala ko naduwag ka na," she said in greeting.

Eyes narrowing, Dolores bared her teeth at her. "Hangal ka,  _Poleng_. Sa tingin mo ba'y may laban ka sa akin?" With a swift motion, she hurled a bolt of dark energy at Jay.

A savage grin curled up on Jay's lips as she used her years of self defense training to dodge, whipping out her knives - one which Tina had forged in another lifetime, and the other which she had been using since she was in college. "Meron."

With the slightest nod of her magic, the blades burst into white-hot flames that glimmered red and gold, her weapon shining like a beacon in the shadowy night. She didn't miss the look of worry that flashed briefly in Dolores' face as she beheld her magic. Pride filled Jay as she leaped forward, a flick of a burning knife enough to dispel yet another blast of dark energy. She knew Dolores may have been faking it but she was pleased that she was, at least, able to counter some of her enemy's powers. The witch whipped out her own dark knives swirling with dark energy, parrying Jay's own weapons.

_Challenge accepted, wag kang magalala._

They traded blows, infusing as much of their powers as they could on their weapons. The fantastic feeling of exhilaration filled Jay, her entire body thrumming from the thrill of the fight. It was more challenging than her battle with Goyong's doppleganger and yet she was aware of just how  _in control_ she was of the fight.

The women broke apart, staggering back to regain their strength. Jay still felt afire as her knife fed from her power and the magic imbibed in Poleng's ring. She could see the aura of her spark glowing the brightest red, larger and stronger than the dark energy swirling around Dolores. Jay knew it wasn't just her. Her friends were also marginally more powerful than the witch herself.

Dolores let out a shriek as a concentrated blast of her powers came flying at Jay. Despite her newfound confidence, the latter wasn't sure if she could just cut it off with her powers. She decided to dodge instead, wondering how to further tip the battle in her favor. She sent a burst of flames roaring right at Dolores' face, sending the witch scurrying away.

"Wag mong sasabihing natatakot ka sa akin," she taunted, tossing one knife in the air and deftly catching it as she used to during her practice sessions.

Dolores' face confirmed her words and yet she vehemently denied it. "Tila  _nahihibang_ ka na ata."

Jay deflected another blast of power with a small wall made of fire. "You wish. Look who's talking."

A few seconds passed in silence as they sized each other up.  _Wala parin akong maisip na gagawin, tangina this life_. She had to do it the way she knew. She'll have to wing it.

They struck at the same time, Jay with her knives burning brighter and hotter, Dolores' knives filled with her shadowy aura. Their blades met, and Jay had to admit that she was totally not  _prepared_ for what happened next.

The magic in their weapons dissipated in a shockwave of red, gold, and the darkest purple and green, throwing the combatants off her feet. In panic, Jay wrapped her energy around her abdomen and her head, doing her best to protect herself and her children from the fall. It seemed like it worked, as the only thing that hurt was her back and an arm. Dolores fared worse as her face wa an angry red from burns, some of her hair singed off from the explosion. Her lip was cut and bleeding freely.

The witch whipped out something that Jay had forgotten until that awful moment though - the plain white ragdoll with its red yarn hair and the myriad of black needles that pierced its chest - needles which she pulled out swiftly before letting the doll burn off in black, purplish flames.

 _Shit!_  Jay all but stopped breathing. She lurched forward, eyes tearing up as her chest flared up in unbelievable pain, worse than what she had experienced when the curse tried to kill her. She was warned not to pull off the needles and let them burn with the doll to stop her curse. Pulling off meant that its lingering effects increased tenfold _permanently_  - and it happened so quickly that Jay's body couldn't keep up. She felt her vision blur as her chest pounded unhealthily. The threat it posed to her unborn children lent her strength built from rage.

Her knives weren't the only ones burning. She herself was on fire. It was harmless for her and yet it would be very deadly for Dolores, she knew. "Hija de puta."

"Hindi ka parin tatakbo kahit sa kalagayan mo? Nasisiraan ka na talaga ng bait," Dolores screeched as darkness swirled around her body.

Jay knew her body was close to crashing, but her rage kept it at bay. "Baka ikaw ang nasisiraan ng bait dahil nagamit mo na yung huling alas mo - at nakatayo parin ako." She had to finish the fight fast.

"Jay!" she heard Celeste call out. It seemed like they had already finished their part of the ritual.

She couldn't afford to glance at Celeste, though. All her focus was on Dolores.  _Tapusin na natin ito._ Raising her knives, she leapt forward once again, ignoring the pain in her chest. Her spark lent her speed, and it was obvious that her foe's powers paled in comparison to hers.

Before Dolores could even raise her own weapons to deflect, Jay's blessed knife plunged into her heart.

Everything seemed to stand still for a while.

Dolores threw her head back and let out a shriek as her body began to dissipate slowly in a whirl of shadows. Jay's new bracelet burned hot as her flames began to latch onto her foe, keeping her in place and incinirating her until she was nothing but ashes.

A few more seconds passed as the ashes began to fade too, taking away the dark forces in the area with it. Dolores and almost all traces of her existence was gone.

Because of what she did though, Jay's curse remained. She was starting to feel the pain again and knew she didn't have long.

Letting go of her spark, she turned to Celeste's group, which looked a little battered and scratched, but otherwise fine. "Hi, sup?"

Celeste shook her head and approached her. "Ayos ka lang ba?"

"Not really." Jay felt her chest throb and burn. "Yung sumpa ko  _tangina_."

"Parang maputla ka," Paulo said with a frown. "Kuya, may natawagan ka na ba sa mga kaibigan niyo?"

Manuel shook his head. "Wala pang sumasagot sa iba. Kahit si Goyong unattended yung phone."

"Nandito na ako," Goyong called out. He marched toward them in ripped, bloodstained clothes, followed by Paco, Jules, and Cat. He ran to Jay and took her in his arms. "Nararamdaman kong naghihilom yung mga sugat na galing sa anino. Wala na talaga si Dolores, ano?"

"Wala na." Jay let him support her entire weight. "Pero yung sumpa ko nandito parin."

"Ano?" Anger colored his voice as her knees gave out. "Anong ginawa niya sayo?"

She leaned against him as he carried her, her chest tightening, making  _damn_ difficult to breathe.  _Punyeta ka paring impakta ka, Dolores._ "Yung manika... hindi ko nakuha. Inalis niya yung mga karayom." She was tired - too tired. Her eyes fluttered shut.

"Goyong, pangit na yung condition niya," Paco said, voice wavering.

"Ihatid na natin siya sa ospital," Jules offered.

"Ginawa mo parin ang lahat ng makakaya mo. I'm proud. Magpahinga ka na muna, Jay," he whispered. "Mahal kita."

"Mahal din kita," she mumbled back. She will be fine. The sun always rose, even after the darkest times.

**Friday, 09-23-16, 11:45 PM, Unknown Location**

_One thing she liked about legitimate dreams was the fact that she felt no pain._

_She was standing in their old home the way she wanted to remember it. Beautiful and full of life. The garden was in bloom, a soft wind brushed against her skin, the sun was shining brightly and yet did not burn her._

_She was the sun, after all, and the sun was her._

_"Good job, Juliet." Her father's voice called out to her as the front door creaked open._

_She felt herself glow with pride. "Ginawa ko lang yung makakaya ko."_

_"It was still impressive. Makakalagay na kayong lahat sa tahimik." The awe in his voice was no lie._

_As he beamed, the ghostly images of her ancestors appeared, watching her with the same pride in their eyes. Mayang also stood in the periphery, smiling at her._

_"Sayang lang at hindi mo ako mailalakad sa alter sa December." If she was awake, Jay would have started crying. She really still missed her father._

_Cuatro grinned. "I'll be there in spirit naman, if you know what I mean. Alam kong magiging masaya kayo ni Goyong. Gusto ko ng madaming apo."_

_That cheered her up. She was excited for her wedding, she really was, and everything beyond it. "Oo naman. I won't disappoint you." At those words, she glanced at her ancestors - and spotted her mother, who gave her a grudging nod of approval._

_Depite her previous claims, she realized that t still meant the world to her._

_"Sige na, anak. Ipahinga mo na yan. You deserve it. Tatandaan mong nandito lang kaming lahat." Her father reached out, placing a hand in her head, letting the dream dissipate in golden light._


	42. I'm Alive

_Flattening the black dress she borrowed for the occassion, Jay grabbed her folded toga and marched through the main building courtyard, where the rest of her friends were waiting. She couldn't believe that her studies were done for good. She was finally free to enjoy more of the outside world and help her brother out in their cafe._

_It was both exciting and terrifying and yet she couldn't wait to see the rest of her adulthood properly unfold in front of her._

_She knew her brother was somewhere in the crowd, watching with pride the way that she did during his graduation. They've both gone through a lot since their father died, and they deserved the small successes that they've managed to achieve. Despite rising beyond it, the tragedies of the past would always leave traces in them - and they would have to use it to their advantage._

**Saturday, 09-24-16, 12:30 AM, Angeles University Foundation Medical Center**

Jay woke up cold and sore, lying in a hospital bed. Goyong was slumped on a chair beside her, apparently asleep, while Joven and Aurora were talking quietly by the window.

"Naiintindihan ko naman kung bakit hindi natutuwa si Nonong," Aurora was grumbling. "Kung hindi lang namatay yung signal dahil sa magic nung impaktang Dolores na yan, edi agad kaming nakatakbo dito?"

"Nasigurado niyo na bang ayos lang yung iba?" asked Joven.

Aurora nodded vigorously. "Kinamusta ko na pareho sina Kuya Jose at Ate Marge."

Jay cleared her throat, making both of them jump up. "Sup?"

Joven broke into a relieved smile at the sight of his sister, but it was quickly replaced by worry. He hurried to her bedside. "How are you feeling? Hindi ba kulang yung pahinga mo?"

"Bitin na bitin," she admitted, noting the general soreness in her body and the pain in her chest. Besides, glancing at the window, it was still very dark outside. Just thinking of ho tired and sore she was, and the apparent lateness of the hour for a pregnant woman like her, was enough to make her eyelids droop. "Pipikit ulit siguro ako maya maya. Gusto ko lang malaman, ayos lang ba lahat kayo?"

Aurora patted her hand. "Oo, 'Nay. Ayos lang lahat kami. Nagalos lang si Kuya Jose at nagbleed ng unti si Ate Marge. Tangina, buntis na sina Ate Marge at Ate Tina. Requirement ba yan sa mga babaylan?"

Jay shook her head. "Huy, graduation muna."

The girl gave her a cheeky salute. "Masusunod, Heneral!"

Joven turned to Goyong. "Nakaka-tempt siyang gisingin pero parang pagod na pagod siya."

A feeling of warmth bloomed in Jay's chest. "Hayaan niyo na muna siya. He deserves his rest din." A sudden feeling of fear struck her. "Hindi naman nalaglag yung..."

"Yung  _mga_ bata?" Joven shook his head, smiling. "Fighter yang mga anak mo - parang mga magulang nila."

**Saturday, 09-24-16, 8:30 AM, Angeles University Foundation Medical Center**

All the tests she had to go through since earlier that morning left her exhausted and sore. Her body felt so heavy that all she wanted to do was doze off and catch up on all the rest she missed while preparing to fight Dolores. Of course, it didn't sit well with her.

"Pakiramdam ko ang tamad ko," she groaned. "Gusto ko lang magpahinga."

"Hindi ka naman tamad," noted Goyong. He set down his coffee cup with a smile. "Bumabawi ka lang sa pinagdaanan mo."

She fumbled with her shirt, sighing. "Well, at least makakapagfocus na tayo sa kasal."

His eyes glittered as he ruffled her hair.  _"Excited_ ka na ba? Hindi na kasi ako mapakali sa kakaisip."

 _More than excited._ "Oo naman!" She was looking forward to getting married and start their family.

With Dolores out of the way, they could finally live in relative peace again. It felt so unbelievable and yet there they were. Things were truly looking up again.

**Sunday, 09-25-16, 10:30 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

The russet gates creaked open as Jay followed Goyong and the del Pilar twins into a residential compound. Four identical two-storey houses, all of them vacant, stood around a central yard and parking lot. The cement ground was newly swept.

"Well, ito na yung dating compound namin." Julio waved around the place. He pointed to the house right behind him. "May mga ibang umuupa din dito noon pero isa isa din silang umalis. Tapos di nagtagal..." He stopped, shuddering as his eyes teared up.

"Bigla nalang lumubog si Tatay ng walang pasabi." Julian scowled, as if remembering how unpleasant it was. "Well, anyway, sinara namin ito at umuwi na kami sa Bulacan para may mga kamag-anak si Tatay na tutulong kay Nanay na palakihin kami."

"So sainyo na yung compound ngayon?" Jay asked, looking around. It was a good place to settle in - spacious and bright and lovely.

"Kinda. Wala na rin namang gustong bumalik dito. I mean, sa compound." He picked up a stray pebble and peered at it. "Binigay na sa amin ni Nanay yung deeds at ayun nga. Aanhin namin yung apat na bahay?"

"Inaalok niyong ipaupa sa amin yung isa?" asked Goyong.

Julio shook his head with a mischievous smirk. "Nope, inanalok naming _ibenta_ sa inyo yung isa. Nakausap na namin kahapon sina Paulo at Celeste. Mukhang interesado din sila. Apat naman yung mga bahay, kasyang kasya lahat tayo."

Jay caught Goyong's gaze. It was  _perfect_. They wouldn't be too far from Goyong and Joven and everyone else who wasn't planning to move out of their headquarters by next year.

"Sounds like a deal," she said.

**Sunday, 09-25-16, 12:00 PM, Nepo Mall**

The weekend crowd was going strong that day. Jay couldn't help but grin from ear to ear at the sight of the people going around their everyday lives. Everything felt lighter, brighter, now that their enemies were all gone  _for good_.

"Saan mo gustong kumain?" Goyong asked, peering at the fast food outlets around them.

Jay pretended to ponder, tapping her chin in a thoughtful way. Aside from her sudden loathing of eggs and general queasiness at the thought of eating fish, she wasn't exactly as picky as she expected herself to be.

"Gusto ko ng Chickenjoy," she said, giving him a quick wink.

He chuckled at her choice. "Hindi na ako magugulat diyan."

They walked hand in hand through the crowd, smiling. Not even the sight of Miguel, his wife Sarah, and their son was enough to dampen the mood. As a matter of fact, the way Miguel cringed and all but shielded his groin as he saw Jay made everything so much better.

"Mukhang takot na takot parin siya na bayagan mo siya ulit," said Goyong, amusement creeping up his voice.

She tilted her chin with pride. "Dapat lang."

She would never let herself or anyone else close to her be taken advantage of people like her ex boyfriend again for as long as she lived.

**Sunday, 09-25-16, 2:45 PM, La Pieta Memorial Park**

The day had turned quite cloudy by the time Jay reached the row of graves where her parents, aunt, uncle, and cousin were buried. Beside her was Nonong, who was clutching the flowers they were supposed to be offering that day.

"Ate, ayos lang naman sila  _doon,_ hindi ba?" the boy asked quietly as he set down the flowers and began lighting the candles.

Jay nodded wistfully. Her childhood felt like lifetimes ago. Things changed too rapidly for her in the past, she hoped that her future was finally starting to become smooth sailing instead. "Ayos na ayos."

"Parang kailan lang, ano?" He patted his parents' tombstones before standing up. "Nagumpisa lahat ito para sa akin nung dinamay niyo ako sa hacking job para imbestigahan yung serial killer. Nagumpisa lahat sa iyo nung nagkita kayo ni Kuya Goyong sa Jollibee, diba?"

"Kinda." She chuckled at that memory, of the flutter in her gut, the trembling of her hands, the words rushing from her mouth. It wasn't exactly where everything started, though. She knew what triggered her memories and set her down her road. "Nagumpisa lahat para sa akin nung sinubukan akong patayin ni Mama."

"Malayo na yung narating mo, Ate." His eyes gleamed in pride as he patted her shoulder. "Sana ako din someday."

She grinned at him. "If you could become a president noon, you could still be  _anything_ you want to be ngayon if you put your mind into it."

**Sunday, 09-25-16, 4:00 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

_Home sweet home_.

She promised herself that she would rest and yet she spent most of her day roaming around. Her body was now protesting - rightfully so - and her chest was aching so badly. She was still miffed over Dolores' final  _gift_ but then again, she couldn't have everything in life.

"Akala ko bang susundin mo na yung inuutos na  _bed rest_ , ha?" Rusca asked, looking up from his phone.

She chuckled, scratching the back of her head good naturedly. "Well, maraming kailngang asikasuhin ngayon, pero bukas talaga magpapahinga na ako.  _Promise_."

"Dapat lang." Rusca narrowed his eyes.

"Jay," Julio called out from his perch by the piano. He was clutching a pale pin envelope close to him. "Nandito nga pala sa Angeles kahapon yung ate namin.  _Papabiye ne ini kang Goyong."_ _Pinapabigay niya ito kay Goyong._

"Ano to?" Jay peered at the envelope, frowning just the slightest. "Wedding invitation?"

"Oo, next week na kasi yan." He smiled angelically, reminding her of herself whenever she was trying to be as convincing as she could. "Sana pumunta kayo. Sa Bulacan kasi..."

A quick bolt of anxiety shot through Jay, quickly replaced by excitement. She had never been in Bulacan, except in passing. It was quite a historical place and she wanted to see it - for reasons that Goyong might not want to go there. Then again, Goyong wouldn't let her miss these things for the world and it was a great way for him to be acquainted with distant relatives.

"Kakausapin ko siya. Don't you worry, Kuya," she finally told Julio.

He smiled and gave her a high five. "I know. Ikaw pa? Malakas ang hatak mo dun sa patatas na yun."

Grinning, she excused herself and made her way upstairs. She could probably start on her bed rest, relax a bit before dinner.

She stopped in the middle of the staircase, peering at the pictures hanging on the wall, of her as a girl, of her family not being exactly happy but nevertheless whole. Thw sight of them used to leave her with longing ache in her chest, but not anymore. She had accepted her losses and moved on.

Besides, she would be starting her own family soon. Her hand rubbed her stomach idly and absentmindedly called up her powers just to  _feel_ the spark wrapping snugly, protectively around her children. People will talk. They always do. Still, she wouldn't give them up for the world.


	43. Home

_It was the first day of the rest of her life._

_The smell of coffee and pastries and other snacks assailed her senses as she tied her apron behind her back, marching to the kitchen with a couple other working students._

_"Sigurado kang ayos ka lang diyan?" Joven asked, peeking through the door. "I mean, pwede mo nalang akong tulungang magbantay."_

_She shook her head with a giddy smile. "No, Kuya. Mas gusto ko yung ganito - yung medyo active ako maghapon."_

_He didn't seem convinced, but let it drop. "Pero sure kang ayaw mong magjob hunting? Oks na sayo yung ganito?"_

_"Oks na oks." Wasn't it their shared dream, anyway? She put a hand on her hip. "Hindi ako expert ng multitasking. Masaya na akong tumulong sayo na imanage yung cafe natin."_

_That answer seemed to appease him. "Sabi mo yan."_

_"Totoo naman kasi. Promise." She smiled and turned away to focus on her task for the day._

_Tea-rad Pass' name felt like some sort of good omen for her. Focusing her energy on it seemed like a good place to start in her search for the boy general's reincarnation - and the answers he could offer for her scattered memories of Poleng._

**Sunday, 10-01-16, 9:00 AM, Malolos, Bulacan**

A shiny, red, brand new Mazda parked not far from the municipal hall, drawing brief attention from the passing crowd. From the driver's seat out hopped a tall young man clad in a dress shirt in the richest blue which complimented his raven hair and ivory skin. From the passenger's side was a young woman with brilliant crimson hair reaching to her waist, clad in a pale purple dress and matching sneakers.

Jay took a few seconds to orient herself, looking around their new surroundings. She still felt queasy from a light bout of motion sickness, though Goyong's new car - which he just brought home three days ago - ran quite smoothly. The overcast day was a relief though. She wasn't looking forward to a stiffling day.

"Sigurado ka na ba talaga sa gagawin mo?" she asked her partner as they walked hand in hand, heading straight for the capitol.

His eyes shiimmered in mischief as he turned to her, giving her a quick wink. "Jay, kailan ba ako hindi naging sigurado?"

"I'm a reckless piece of shit pero parang hindi parin siya good idea," she pointed out as they made their way through the capitol area, her bright hair drawing more looks than the car they just left.

He grinned as he stopped in front of a statue depicting him in horseback. His remains were supposed to be interred underneath that small shrine but there he was, standing tall and proud and very much  _alive_ a century later. The details of his ressurection - in a perfect copy of his original body, no less - were still quite unbelievable.  _Parang yung pagiging babaylan ko lang din naman_.

Of course, they had to take the obligatory pictures.

"Mas gwapo pa ata ito sa akin," he noted with a small pout.

Smiling, she gazed up at the statue, as if contemplating her answer. "Mukha nga."

"Pero mahal mo naman ako," he said as he slowly crept to the other side of the statue, distancing himself from her.

"Well, that's love." She kept up the lighthearted tone as she kept her eyes on her statue, letting him do what he was planning and be done with it.

Then again, they weren't Team Hijo de Puta if they didn't occassionally dabble themselves in potentially illegal activities. Besides, heroes also probably had the right to piss on their own graves every now and then. Still, it was a bad idea - especially smack dab in the middle of the morning on a very busy day.

They barely made it a few paces away from the statue when they got accosted for it.

**Sunday, 10-01-16, 10:00 AM, Malolos, Bulacan**

The waiting area in the nearest police station wasn't really a bad place except for the fact that she was there because her boyfriend got himself arrested. The lady behind the welcome desk was surprisingly friendly, especially after Goyong himself mentioned that he, her  _troublemaker boyfriend_ dragged  _poor, pregnant_ her along for yet another harebrained scheme. It was a bit of a stretch, she knew, but she supposed that she was better off away from trouble. Of course, she worried for him.

"Ayaw mo ng tubig?" the policewoman asked, pointing at the water dispenser. "Pwede naman kitang ipangkuha kung masama yung pakiramdam mo."

She put up her most polite smile and shook her head. She was fine, really, except for a slight tightness in her chest and the bloated feeling in her gut. She had been pregnant with twins for roughly two months already, after all. "Oks lang po ako, promise," she assured her. "Medyo worried lang po kay Goyong."

The woman's lips pursed in a disapproving line, having bought the idea that the boy general, indeed, was a  _no good_ boyfriend. She made no comment about it though, and merely returned to the papers she was signing. A few seconds of uncomfortable silence passed before it was broken by the sound of footsteps.

Goyong was roughly shoved out of the door by a pair of white faced policemen who looked like they were dealing with a ghost. It wasn't a far stretch, though. The boy general looked up and gave Jay a bright grin coupled with a small wave. "Pwede na tayong umalis," he said happily.

Jay had no idea what happened but she was glad that they could finally leave. She took the hand he offered, giving it a tight squeeze, and pulled herself to her feet. She could hear the policemen whispering behind them as they waltzed out of the station and into the  _great outdoors_.

"Ang bilis mo namang nakaalis dun?" she finally asked as they began to walk back to the car.

Goyong  _giggled_ like a gleeful child, and it was such a surprise that he didn't start skipping around. "Pinakita ko yung driver's license ko. Valid ID naman yun, hindi ba? Ayun, parang may kumakalat atang chismis sa mga pulis na  _nagmumulto_ yung kaluluwa ni Heneral del Pilar sa police station sa Angeles at..."

"Please tell me na may kinalaman to dun sa ginawa niyong prank ni Kuya Ed nung kinulong kayo ng Manolo na yun," Jay said, mirroring his grin before she could stop herself. "So akala nila minumulto mo sila?"

"Mismo." He gave her another  _infuriating_ wink that made her ache between her legs even if she was pregnant.

_Gago, uhaw nanaman ako._

They finally reached their car, which was still gleaming despite the lack of sparkling sunlight. "Hindi ko parin tanggap na bumili ka ng brand new na kotse," she said jokingly. She knew she probably had enough money to rival the Hernandos' inheritance, meticulously saved from over a century of working while studying. It just surprised her when he casually spent money on things, as he lived quite modestly most of the time.

"Dapat lang," he said, grinning as he opened her door for her. "Only the  _best_ para sayo. Saka naaalala ko yung buhok mo sa kulay nito."

Her cheeks flushed as brightly as her hair. She covered her cheeks, unable to hide that she was  _flattered_. She loved the feeling of being loved and loving back.

**Sunday, 10-01-16, 11:00 AM, Bulacan, Bulacan**

She was  _definitely_ feeling queasy from motion sickness.

They found themselves standing in front of a place that was brazenly called  _Plaza del Pilar_ , where a statue of Goyong om horseback stood tall and proud.

"Please don't tell me na iihi ka din diyan," muttered Jay.

He shook his head, cheeks reddening. "Pasensya na. Ayaw ko mang ulitin yun. Napahiya pa tuloy kita."

"Apology accepted. Ngayon pwede mo na bang ipaliwanag kung bakit nakapangalan ata sayo itong lugar na to?" Her lips lifted up in a smile at the scenery around her.

He closed his eyes wistfully, as if trying to reminisce. "Dito sumuko sa akin ang mga Kastila dito sa Bulacan."

She had to admit that she was impressed. "Namimiss mo ba yung buhay sundalo?"

"Hindi," he said quickly. His eyes darkened as he looked down. "Mas masaya na ako ngayon, alam mo yun."

"Alam ko," she said quietly. She was happier as Jay, after all. She understood it, despite the slight difference in their circumstances.

**Bonus**

**Sunday, 10-01-16, 1:30 PM, Bulacan, Bulacan**

After a quick lunch and a visit to his birthplace to see the marker, Goyong knew that he couldn't delay the inevitable any longer.

He knew he would be doing it the moment Julio and Julian gave them the address. He had to go visit his old family.

He felt his knees shaking by the time he got out of the car, the sound of his shoes hitting the pavement feeling unusually loud. He focused himself on the sight of Jay standing beside him, giving him an encouraging smile. Letting her take his hand, they made their way to the gate.

The twins were standing in the garden beyond it, talking quietly. It seemed like they were expecting him. They looked up at the sight of them and beamed. As if they have planned it, Julio dashed into the house while Julian opened the gate. Steeling himself, Goyong ducked his head as he entered, feeling very small and young again.

The place was quite different from the one he grew up in, but nevertheless, it seemed so warm and inviting to him. It was also  _home_ in its own way, sending a sudden twinge in his gut.

The front door opened. A group of people marched out of the house, led by Julio. Almost everyone else in the family he left behind over a century ago was staring at him, stunned. His mother, Felipa, a little younger but still looking as feisty as he remembered, was standing behind the eldest, imperious Maria, who seemed to be in the middle of beautfiying herself for the wedding. Feisty Angela and soft spoken Pablo were standing beside her while youthful Jacinto clung to Julio. The surprise was rapidly fading from their faces, quickly replaced by glee.

"Goyong, hijo, ikaw ba talaga yan?" Felipa asked, sending yet another wistful jolt in his gut.

"In the flesh." He tried to smile but he only succeeded in making his lip wobble.

"Yan ang best kept secret ng Angeles City," Julian said proudly.

Jay squeezed his hand and slowly let go. "Sige na, _Generalissimo_ ," she whispered, nudging him forward. "Alam kong namiss mo din sila. Wag ka nang pakipot."

Finally beaming, he nodded and turned back to his family. He took one step, then another, counting his steps in his head to calm himself down until he reached them.

"Sana man lang dati ka pang nagparamdam," growled Pablo, narrowing his eyes at him.

"Pasensya na," was all he could say before they pulled him into a group hug.

He felt his throat constrict and he let out a choked sob, letting himself be the long lost son even just for a while. He wasn't sure how long it was before they let him go. He was surprised that his knees haven't given out yet.

"Pasok muna kayo," Maria said, being her usual self again. "Ipakilala mo na rin kami ng maayos diyan sa girlfriend mo."

Goyong led Jay to them, an arm around her waist. "Actually ikakasal na rin kami sa December," he began. "Siya si Jay Hernando."

Jay smiled, slowly wrapping an arm around his waist too as they walked into the house. "Pwede rin namang Poleng pero I prefer Jay. Pleased to meet you."

A ripple of recognition and understanding hit them. They led the way to the living room, but Goyong had to stop at the sight of an old picture hanging among others of its kind in the foyer. It was a candid photo of Poleng standing barefoot in her family's lavish living room, arms on her hips, her laughter perfectly captured. He remembered taking the picture himself after much begging from her during a lighthearted moment.

"Ah, the good old days," Jay said with a laugh before nudging him on, brimming with so much affection for him. Her love was still every bit as bright as the sun.

They reached the living room where the rest of the family was waiting, and he knew it was going to be a great afternoon. They had a lot of catching up to do.


	44. You'll Be Safe Here

_A little over two years have passed since her graduation and yet it felt like nothing much had changed._

_Her collection of knives may have increased, her crimson dyed hair a little longer, her voluptuous figure a little more prominent, but she was still the Jay she knew herself to be. Since she wasn't exactly an employee in the cafe, she was free to take days off whenever she pleased._

_It was a rainy day, and by the time she reached the mall, the edges of her black combat boots were crusted with mud already. It was already lunchtime and yet she didn't feel that hungry at all, so she decided to go for a light snack instead._

_The line in Jollibee was hellishly long, the tables occupied, but she was able to squeeze herself into a free seat and take over an empty table - which didn't remain empty for long. An awfully familiar young man carrying his own tray of food motioned to the table, as if asking for permission to share. She felt her throat constricting and her breath hitching as she nodded, trying to look as carefree as she could. It was him - Goyong, the boy general, the one who got away - sitting right across the table from her. She did her best not to stare, focusing on her food instead, but the silence felt awful amidst the din of the crowd around them._

_"Medyo mauran nanaman ngeni, ne?" Medyo maulan nanaman ngayon, ano? She found herself babbling before she could stop herself._

_At least it broke the silence. He looked up and smiled apologetically, cheeks stained a faint red. "Sorry. Di ako taga dito," he said, his smile growing just a little wider._

_She smiled back, trying to reassure him. "Ay. Sabi ko medyo maulan nanaman ngayon." Without even meaning to, her fingers began brushing her hair away from her eyes._

_He leaned back comfortably against his seat. He looked a little older, more weary and mature, than the Goyong in Poleng's memories. He was maybe twenty three or twenty four, around the same age as her brother. "Pansin ko nga. Kakadating ko lang kasi dito ngayon. Di naman siguro bahain sa Angeles no?"_

_Relief coursed through her as she realized that he was okay with talking to her. She wondered if he remembered who Poleng was, if he could tell her everything she couldn't recall. ""Oks naman halos dito, may mga eskinitang bahain pati na din yung dinadaanan ng mga Checkpoint na jeep pero ayus naman sa ibang lugar. Ako pala si Jay - Jay Hernando."_

_"Greg. Greg Roman." He didn't sound too confident about that. He was definitely hiding something._

_She could feel her heart thudding in her chest so wildly, it almost hurt. She forced out a chuckle to distract herself. She had to get out before she embarrassed herself. "Cute naman ng pangalan mo. Medyo late na ako. Nako. See you when I see you na lang." Picking up her cup, she gave him a little wave and dashed off. She could feel her palm sweating, her knees shaking, but it was a start._

_She had a feeling that they would see each other again._

**Sunday, 10-01-16, 5:00 PM, San Rafael, Bulacan**

Jay's stomach was feeling tight by the time they reached the wedding venue. It could have been just one of those days that she was too aware of her pregnancy, but nevertheless, she appreciated the way Goyong helped her clamber out of the car. Smiling as she took his hand, the two of them walked through the courtyard, dodging fellow guests and keeping an eye out on the Enriquez brothers, who were invited on account of being family friends of sorts.

"Eto yung pinakamalaking challenge sa kasal, ano? Pag-accomodate sa lahat ng mga bisita?" she said nonchalantly, knowing that they had so many things to settle over the next two months before their wedding. It felt daunting and exciting at the same time.

"Kakaunti lang naman ang mga maiimbita kong  _kamag-anak_ ," Goyong said, a touch of longing in his voice.

Aside from her brother and Nonong, she only had a handful of relatives that she was sure to invite. There were others that she wasn't close to, and some who would judge them. "Hindi naman importante kung gaano karami yung bisita o kung sino sa kanila ang kamag-anak natin ah. Basta nandun lahat ng mga taong gusto nating makasama,  _special_ na yun para sa atin, diba?"

The twins - who had been reunited with Tina and Marge - were waving them over already.

"Hindi naman kayo naligaw?" Tina asked mischievously while she made a few furious attempts to smooth down her pastel green dress.

"Magaling palang gumamit ng Google Maps tong kasama ko," joked Jay, elbowing Goyong with a wink.

Marge motioned to Julio's red dress shirt and her pastel red dress, and Julian and Tina's similar ensemble. "Akala ko matchy matchy colors ang motif."

"Matchy matchy? I like the term," Goyong said, chuckling. "Mas maganda daw tignan sa amin 'to sabi ni Ate Jules eh."

Julian nodded sagely. "Tama naman siya ah. Manang Jules never goes wrong pagdating sa pananamit." With that in mind, Paco's consistently simple but stylish clothes were not surprising anymore.

"Anyway, kasama daw namin kayong dalawa sa may harap," announced Julio. "Hindi tatanggapin ni Mama ang mga excuses niyo."

"Eh nakakahiya naman kasi. Ngayon lang namin sila nakilala at..." Goyong trailed off, turning beet red.

Julio's gaze was surprisingly stern.  _"No excuses._ Saka pamilya rin naman namin kayo ah."

**Sunday, 10-01-16, 7:30 PM, San Rafael, Bulacan**

Watching the ceremony left Jay feeling more excited and anxious over her own wedding at the same time. By the time they were seated at the reception, she busied herself with mentally planning and picturing some minute details, leaving Goyong to fend for himself while some of the bride's relatives argued over whose son he was.

It was a lovely night, neither too warm nor too cold. She was feeling quite full from the dinner they've just finished and tired from an entire day of adventure. The night was still young and full of promise, though.

"Jay, gusto mo munang magpahangin ng konti?" Goyong whispered in her ear. It seemed like he was finally able to excuse himself from the del Pilars' awkward questions that he could never answer honestly.

"Magpahangin?" she asked oh so innocently.

The wolfish smile on his face said it all. Taking her hand, he mumbled more excuses to those they were sharing the table with and led her out of the area and into the parking lot. "Parang nag-enjoy sila sa pagtatanong sa akin kung kaninong anak ako. Gusto ko munang huminga kahit saglit lang."

She felt herself grinning, knowing just exactly what he  _needed_. Being in a dress had never been so  _convenient_ until that day. They barely made it into the backseat of their car before they were kissing each other silly, her fingers fumbling around in the semidarkness as he tugged up the hem of her dress. They had to be  _careful_ \- she was more delicate than usual over the course of her pregnancy and they had to think of the children she was carrying too. She was fine with toning down the intensity and ferocity for the meantime, though.

The raging thirst was too much for her to ignore at the moment.

Her senses were on fire as they made love in the car, the night's revelry nothing but a distant background to them. Time was just an afterthought. There was only the two of them, drunk on each other's love, afire with every touch.

She had no idea how long they did it before they were satiated. She eventually found herself curled up on top of him though, skin flushed, breath still shallow, totally spent, a cool air blowing from the door they left open.

"Kung hindi lang nakakahiya sa mga iniwanan natin sa loob, dito nalang muna sana tayo," she said, her voice a soft purr.

"Kung maaari nga lang," he growled. "Pero sigurado akong nagtataka na sila kung nasaan tayo."

"Buti naman at alam niyo!" A familiar voice called out to them, breaking the magic of the moment.

Exchanging embarrassed glances, the couple scrambled up, struggling to make themselves decent and  _presentable_ again. It wasn't as difficult as they assumed at first, and they were able to clamber out of the car in almost no time at all.

Etong was leaning against a nearby car, arms crossed, an amused leer on his face. "So, enjoy na enjoy kayo diyan, ano?"

Jay felt her cheeks burn as red as her hair. "Gago ka,  _pinanood_ mo ba kami?"

"Yung ending lang ng  _performance_ niyo yung nakita ko." The corners of his lips lifted up. "Ngayon ko lang nalaman na  _malaki_ pala ang heneral mo at na wild ka parin lahit buntis."

Jay seized her power, feeling the fiery sparks thrum at her fingertips. " _Hijo de puta!_ Basagin ko kaya yung mukha mo?"

Goyong held out his hand, face turning white. "Hinahon lang, Dios mio patatas! Di tayo pwedeng gumawa ng eksena."

He had a point.

Jay backed off, releasing her powers. "Anong kailangan mo? Bakit ka nga ba nandito?"

"Well, hinahanap na nga kayo sa loob. Akala nila napano na kayo." The smile never left Etong's face. "Yun pala  _horny_ lang kayo."

The boy general's eyes darkened. " _Etits,_ kung ayaw mong maputulan ng bayag mas maganda siguro kung tumahimik ka nalang."

It worked, to everyone's surprise.

**Sunday, 10-01-16, 8:30 PM, San Rafael, Bulacan**

It was  _finally_ time to go home.

She and Goyong found themselves surrounded by the twins, their mother, and their girlfriends to bid farewell. It gave her a mild twinge in her chest as she thought of her parents and how different  _her_ family life was. She pushed the dark thoughts away. The family she now had was one that she had chosen and she could never be happier.

"Magiingat kayo pareho," Felipa said happily, ruffling Goyong's hair. The way she looked at the young man who used to be her son was very _heartwarming._  "Sabihin niyo agad kung may kagaguhang ginagawa yung kambal para maapagbuhol ko sila, ha?"

"Oo naman po!" Goyong chirped. He gave the twins and their girlfriends a sly glance. "Pero alam ko pong mas madaming maisusumbong yang mga  _partners_ nila."

"Well, alam naman nating lahat na mabait kami," joked Tina. She shot her boyfriend a quick wink.

Jay found herself laughing at that. "Mabait basta hindi galitin, ano?"

"Bullies," complained Julio.

"Hindi kami bullies," Tina scoffed, looking around for support.

Marge cleared her throat before flashing a dangerous smile. "Friendly reminder lang na may pagsusumbungan kami if ever na magmisbehave kayo."

"Alam niyo namang magbebehave kami, hindi ba?" Julian asked with a nervous chuckle.

Goyong cleared his throat. "Lumalalim na ang gabi, kailangan na nating umuwi."

"Mabuti pa nga!" Felipa put her hands on her lips, pouting. "Buntis yang mga girlfriends niyo, bawal silang magpuyat at magpagod!"

The del Pilars stiffened at her gaze. As if they practiced it a lot, the three of them gave her a snappy salute. "Ma'am, yes ma'am!"

The other del Pilar siblings waved them off and gave them quick farewells, eliciting promises to keep in touch.

Eventually, it was just Jay and Goyong in their car. Neither of them spoke for a while as he revved up the engine, letting it warm up. The cool blast of wind from the air conditioner soothed her exhaustion.

"Konting tiis nalang at makakauwi na tayo," said Goyong. With a small frown of concentration, he eased the car out of the parking space and finally hit the road. 

She smiled and paused, trying to properly word her question. "Anong pakiramdam mo ngayong nakausap mo na yung pamilya mo?"

He blinked, his eyes having gone dewy. "Masaya at magaan. Salamat sa pagtulak sa akin para  _umuwi_ ako."

"Alam kong kailangan mo yun. Masaya ako at natulungan kita, mahal." She leaned back, a hand on her stomach.

She was feeling exhausted and yet she was happy. Both of them finally found themselves at peace.


	45. Daydreaming

_When she told herself that they would see each other again, she didn't expect it to happen that exact same day._

_It all started when she decided to go get some mami for dinner while waiting for her brother who was busy meeting some old friends. She didn't really mind eating alone, though a voice at the back of her head kept telling her that it was because no one wanted her around. As much as she tried to pretend otherwise, she wasn't as okay as she seemed to be._

_That night, she found him staring blankly at the carinderia lady, clutching a handful of old, discontinued bills._

_"Ay mukhang pinagtripan si kuya," she noted, flashing him a bright smile._

_"Ah, hindi. Mali yung nabulsa kong pera. May naiwan kasing lumang pera si lolo ko. Eh pakalat-kalat lang sa bahay." It was a lie, and he surely knew that she knew it._

_It didn't stop her from helping him buy his meal, though. He looked so lost and miserable, it was difficult not to feel sorry for him. She found that exchanging small talk was easier now, as she slowly came to realize that she was the same awkward but friendly Goyong in Poleng's memories. Neither of them decided to run away this time, but their conversation was put to an end by an entirely different reason._

_Her brother had come to pick her up._

_Before they parted ways, she decided to give him her number. It was most definitely not because he was Goyong and probably had answers about Poleng's fragmented memories. It was just that she knew just how good it would be to know a familiar face in an unfamiliar face._

**Monday, 10-02-16, 7:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Breakfast in bed sounded  _magical_ to her. She did promise that she would take things slowly and catch up on the rest she missed due to Dolores. She really had to be kinder to her body, after all.

The sight of Goyong clutching a tray of buttered toast and a mug of hot chocolate felt like a great way to start her day. The smile on his face as he set everything down on her bedside table made her stomach do a couple of backflips, even so early in the morning. It was difficult - so difficult - to rein in her thirst. After all, he had to go to work and Joven won't be  _amused_ if he was to be late because of her. She had to content herself with sitting beside him, nibbling on her toast while staring at him with starry eyes.

"Magpapahinga ka lang talaga sa bahay maghapon?" he asked, grinning. "Sigurado kang hindi ka maiinip?"

She had to admit that she did have a problem with sititng still and her lack of attention span, but she knew she'll manage. She pointed to the stack of books and snacks at the foot of the bed. "I've got that covered."

He chuckled softly and ruffled his hair. "Ayos ka lang ba kung aalis na ako maya maya? Maaga kasi kaming pinapapasok ni Joven, magtatapos lang naman ng mga dekorasyon. Malapit na ang Halloween."

 _Halloween._ Dressing up for it in a Maria Clara gown last year felt like a lifetime ago. So many things have changed since then.

"Kakayanin ko naman," she said with a laugh. "Ako pa?"

"Ikaw pa indeed," he said, his smile growing. He gave her a quick kiss and rose to his feet. "O siya, mauuna na ako."

"Mag-iingat ka, Henerahhhl," she called out.

" _Dios mio patatas,_ ako pa? Mag-iingat din sila sayo," he joked before leaving.

**Monday, 10-02-16, 12:00 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

She had to admit that she was already quite restless by lunchtime. It was a good thing that she had some of her friends over for lunch.

"Excited ka na ba sa kasal niyo, Jay?" Jules asked in between sips of orange juice. "Madedelay pa kami ng one year ni Paco kasi hinihintay namin umuwi yung Lolo ko galing Australia."

"Luh, at least mas madami kayong oras magprepare," Nena pointed out. "Next year pa lang din yung plano namin ni Ed."

Jay nodded sagely. People would judge her for her choices, she knew, but she was definitely happy about it. "Actually sasamahan na ako ni Kuya Joven bukas dun sa tita namin na gagawa ng wedding dress ko. Medyo kinakabahan ako kasi siguradong may baby bump na sa December pero reremedyuhan naman daw."

Nena reached out to pat her hand. "Balita namin halos si Goyong ang gumagastos sa lahat."

Jay nodded. "Madami naman daw naipon dahil... alam niyo naman. Kulang nalang nga gusto niya siya nalang yung gumastos. So Kuya din nagvolunteer na magpagawa ng gown."

"Sweet naman yun," noted Jules. "I'm excited for both of you."

Jay felt her stomach tighten with a mix of anxiety and excitement. She knew it was just the wedding jitters. Everything would go through without a hitch. After all, they've already taken care of the biggest hurdle im their wedding plans - Dolores.

**Tuesday, 10-03-16, 4:00 PM, The Quad**

Jay's stomach fluttered and churned as she followed her brother through a line of office stalls and into a couturier's cozy shop. Their aunt, Sally, was a cousin of their father's who had had just moved back to Angeles from her stint abroad. Neither Hernando sibling was that close with their paternal grandma's side as most of them had scattered all over the globe in different ventures, but Sally had kindly agreed to help them out with tje wedding dress.

Their aunt was a tall, elegant woman in her early fifties, her long, wavy hair dyed a soft brown that looked perfect with her caramel skin. She smiled as they walked in, making them sit on cozy armchairs.

"Napaaga kayo," she said in amusement as she grabbed her sketchpad and pencil from her dress. "Parang kailan lang na nabalitaan kong may mga anak na si Cuatro."

The Hernando siblings exchanged wistful glances.

"Ang dami nga pong nangyayari lately na medyo nakakaoverwhelm." Jay knew she was telling the truth. From meeting Goyong again to their encounters with Dolores and everythign else in between, it was difficult to imagine that life was so mundane just a little over a year ago.

"Balita ko rin na buntis ka so we need to make some allowances. Buti nalang at maganda hubog ng katawan mo." Sally began making a rough sketch. "Ano bang motif ng kasal niyo?"

" _Magic_ po." It did feel appropriate, given everything that happened to them.

Joven took her hand, showing the engagement ring shaped like a stargazer lily to their aunt. The colorful crystals on its surface glittered in the light. "Baka makatulong po ito."

In no time, Sally was able to come up with a beautiful design for the dress. It was going to compliment Jay's figure which they could still adjust before the wedding depending on just how much Jay's bump was showing. Just seeing it on paper was enough to make her all but vibrate in excitement.

Dark clouds were gathering overhead by the time the siblings made it out of the shop after profusely thanking their aunt for her help. It didn't seem like it was going to rain, though the temperature did drop.

"Gusto mo munang mag-ice cream?" Joven asked. "May 7-11 naman doon sa may Startek."

"Oo naman." A hand flew to her stomach, which was feeling a little too tight again, though she knew it wasn't showing yet.

She let her brother steer her through the Quad area and into the 7-11. A small smile lit up as a feeling of nostalgia took her back to her youth and the warm summers she spent playing with her brother. Ice cream was always involved in their little adventures.

"Nakakamiss maging bata, ano?" Joven noted as they peered at the available ice cream. "Palaro laro lang sa daan, kain ng ice cream kapag binigyan ng barya ni Papa."

"Nakakamiss indeed. Pero in fairness, nakakaenjoy din maging adult." Her childhood ended in the worst possible way, but she relieved the better times without bitternes. Things were terrible for a time but they have been slowly improving. She felt as great as she seemed to be.

"Hanggang ngayon mahirap parin paniwalaan na ikakasal ka na," her brother continued with a smile. He picked out his ice cream and patiently waited for her to make a choice.

Chocolate was always a safe choice.

"Pag minsan nakakaoverwhelm paring isipin," she admitted. She knew she wouldn't have had it any other way, though. "Pero alam mo namang masaya ako. Kuntento na ako."

He nodded, eyes sparkling with glee as he paid for their snack. "Alam ko. Kilala kita, Jay, at nakita ko yung mga pagbabago sayo."

"Ikaw din naman masaya na ah," she said as they strode out of the store, grinning from ear to ear.

"Wala ka paring pinagbabago, dear brother in law," a deep, amused voice said.

Jay blinked, trying to comprehend as she saw Jose Bernal tumble down the stairs not far from them with a huff. Manuel's wife, Gabby, was standing near a bank entrance, arms on her hips. Her beleaguered looking husband and son were standing not far from her.

"Nangangamusta lang huy," yelped Jose.

Gabby smirked as she leaned forward, squinting at him. "You didn't have to squeeze my butt."

"Pasensya na, bro, pero she had a point," Manuel pointed out. He waved as he caught sight of the Hernandos. "Nandyan pala kayo! Naaalala niyo pa asawa't anak ko, hindi ba?"

"Long time no see, Ate Gabby," greeted Jay. She bent over to pat the child's hair. "At tumatangkad na si Martin, naks!"

"You're both looking good," Gabby said with a chuckle. "Balita ko buntis ka na daw."

Jay nodded with a bright smile. "Two months na."

"Buti nalang at wala siyang mood swings ngayon," quipped Joven.

Gabby threw her head back and laughed. "Don't worry, nadaanan ko rin yun. Kapag gigil ka sa partner mo, ilabas mo lang lahat yung gigil na yan sakanya - in any way possible."

Jay felt her cheeks redden at that. She swallowed hard to dispel the lump that suddenly formed on her throat at the thoght of things she could do with Goyong that night. _Gigil indeed._ She can't wait.


	46. Tila

_Her life was different - for better or for worse - since she found Goyong again._

_So much she had believed until that point in her life had started being challenged - from the existence of the supernatural outside of ghosts and reincarnation, to the fact that the relatively boring city she lived in was much more interesting in the most dangerous, terrifying way possible. Her entire life was shaken and yet she didn't mind. They had the serial killer to catch, lives in the city to save. Her life had become much more complicated and yet she found that she didn't mind the welcome change to the monotony if it weren't for the fact that a supernatural murderer was on the loose._

_What worried her the most was the look of sad determination in Goyong's eyes ever since Bonifacio's doppleganger issued its challenge for the second of December. She was afraid that something terrible might happen to him during that date. She didn't know what he was planning and felt so helpless about it._

_All she could do was comfort him, take him into her arms that night she saw him crying in the hallway. She loved him, of that she was sure, and she knew he loved her too, but she was scared that they would be torn apart again without being able to do anything about it._

**Saturday, 10-08-16, 5:00 PM, Angeles City Proper**

The city's excitement about one of the major fiestas that month was already palpable. The bright streamers, the louder music in the streets, the smell of cooking food, and the arrival of relatives and curious visitors livened up the usually monotonous sights in the city. The courtyard fountain outside of the museum was a beautiful show of leaping lights shimmering in all colors as the stalls of street food beside it made her stomach grumble.

"Mukhang worth it naman palang bumisita kami dito para sa Fiestang La Naval ano?" Celeste asked, shifting a grumbling Concha in her arms. "Nakakahiya naman kasi niyaya mo na nga ako, niyaya pa ako nina Kuya Jose at Manuel."

"Ano ka ba, wala yun," Jay said with a chuckle. It still felt surreal, the way the two of them were the spitting image of each other aside from very minor differences in hair color of choice and skin tones. It was similar to the way Goyong, the twins, and Celeste's boyfriend Paulo resembled each other eerily.

Goyong motioned to the stalls around them. "Ano, merienda na ba tayo?"

The laughter of nearby children made Jay feel warm and fuzzy all over.  _Soon_. She was frequently hungry lately as her pregnancy progressed. She didn't mind it, though. Remembering Poleng's miscarriage made her extra cautious, especially now that Dolores' threat was gone.

"Merienda time indeed," she mused, a hand on her stomach.

Paulo rubbed his hands in excitement. "Uy! Kapampangan food! Bring it on!"

"Bhe, Kapampangan kami ng nanay ko. Kapampangan food din ang kinakain natin sa bahay," Celeste pointed out with a roll of her eyes.

Goyong put an arm around Jay before turning to the bickering couple. "Tara na, huy! Pero hinay hinay lang sa kain, may pupuntahan pa tayo mamaya. Baka nakakalimutan niyo na."

Jay let him pull her closer as they headed for the stalls to check out what they would be eating for that afternoon. It was refreshing, the way this year's fiesta was not smeared with the shadows of a threat. She was free to be out of character for a while, sit back, simply relax and enjoy the world around her. It was very uplifting.  _May karapatan din akong maging masaya - magmahal at mahalin._

**Saturday, 10-08-16, 7:00 PM, The Quad**

They area surprisingly lacked its usual crowd despite the fact that it was a Saturday and the night was still young. The preparations for the fiesta definitely have been taking quite a lot of time and budget from the citizens of Angeles.

Jay looked around for a glimpse of the friends they were supposed to be meeting with. "Hindi naman siguro sila na-late ano?"

"Malabo, kanina pa daw sila nandito sabi ni Julian sa text," mused Goyong.

"Hoy! Mga ulikba, ang tatagal niyo!" Tina's voice rang out, making Jay jump.

 _Old habits die hard_. It seemed like a part of her was still primed to react quickly in case of an attack. That was still better than being complacent.

They found the twins, Tina, Aurora, Marge, and Nonong seated on a table outside of a restaurant. They were all dressed nicely for a night out, which made Jay thankful that she made herself  _presentable_ for once.

"Kanina pa namin kayo hinihintay dito," Nonong said with a pout.

"Well, inikot muna kami sa may harap ng simbahan ng dalawang to," explained Celeste. "Very...  _educational_ yung tour nila."

"May kasama pang horror story yung history lessons nitong si Goyong," quipped Paulo.

Julio adjusted his glasses, clearly trying to stiffle his laughter. "Sige na, upo na kayo! Gutom na naman siguro lahat tayo,  _ne_?"

Julian rolled his eyes before turning to the others. "Kapatid ko, ladies and gentlemen. Eternally gutom."

 

"Kagaya mo din naman, Kuya," Aurora pointed out, making everyone burst into laughter.

Marge leaned forward. "Jay, yung kuyaboy diyan sa may likod mo... diba yan yung ex mong gumawa ng eksena nung alumni homecoming?"

Jay would have turned cold at those words just a few months ago, but  _not anymore_. She looked back and saw Miguel lounging alone by the table behind her, eyeing their little group with his shrewd eyes. She felt nothing but disgust and just the slightest bit of pity for now.

"Hayaan niyo na siya," she said, flicking her hair back.

"Luh, ang  _fierce_ ni Ate ngayon," Nonong said in awe.

"Dapat lang naman ah," she pointed out. "Hindi naman natin dapat pinagkakaabalahan yung mga basurang katulad niya."

Even as they placed their orders though, she could sense him staring at them. She found  _that_ unsettling. She knew that whatever it was that he was thinking was definitely no good. After all, her ex boyfriend was nothing but trouble.

**Saturday, 10-08-16, 8** **:30 PM, The Quad**

Well, at least Miguel let them finish their dinner in peace. Their meal had segued into relaxed conversation over their drinks when he finally approached them. Nothing much had changed since the past few months - he still retained his self assured swagger and his  _fuckboy_ smile.

Everything about him was still disgusting.

"May kailangan ka ba?" Jay asked, languidly sipping her soda float.

"Gusto sana kitang makausap," Miguel said in a pleading voice that screamed of  _fakeness_.

Jay slowly detached herself from Goyong's embrace, suddenly feeling too aware of the knives she had hidden all over her person. She wouldn't have hesitated to use any of them against him if necessary. "Halata ngang gusto mong makipagusap sa akin. Bakit?"

He motioned back to his table, as if inviting her. "Pwede bang magusap tayo in private?"

She shrugged. It wasn't like he was going to be able to harm her and she was curious in spite of herself. "Sige, susunod na ako sandali."

"I'll be waiting," he purred before strutting back to his seat.

"Jeskelerd 'Nay, kadiri parin yung ex mo," whispered Aurora.

Julian nodded with a groan. "Ako nasusuka para sayo, bro."

"Sigurado ka ba diyan sa binabalak mo?" Celeste asked worriedly.

Jay nodded, bracing herself. "Ako pa? I can handle myself."

"Mag-iingat sana siya sayo." Goyong gave her hand a squeeze. He looked at her with so much trust, it was almost unbelievable.

Giving him a wink, she rose to her feet and made her way to Miguel, embracing her spark. He would have a taste of what it was like to offend a  _babaylan_ if he dared to try anything funny.

"So, anong kailangan mo?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"I just wanted to ask if we could start over again," Miguel said sleazily as she sat across the table from him. "I mean, we're still young."

 _"Nanung buri mung sabyan?" Anong gusto mong sabihin?_ she asked.

"Pwede pa naman tayong lumabas ulit diba? Enjoy? Fuck around?" His eyes tried to smolder - but failed.

"Hindi mo parin ba naiintindihan yung sinabi ko sayo last time?" She grabbed a hidden knife and flicked it at him, pleased that it landed on the chair  _right between his legs,_ just a few inches before his crotch. "Una, may asawa't anak kana kaya umayos ka. Pangalawa, ikakasal na ako saka buntis ako. Pangatlo, hindi ako papatol sa katulad mo. Mahiya ka naman sa sarili mo." She released a bit of her spark, letting it surround her momentarily in a faint red glow just to punctuate her statement.

Miguel stared at her with fear in his dark eyes.  _Natakot ka na ba talaga sa wakas o gawa gawa mo yan?_ "Bitch ka parin, ano?"

"I'm not a bitch." She held out her hand, letting a flash of gold and crimson fire ignite in her palm for a few seconds. She rose to her feet after giving him a good view of her powers, well aware that he truly was  _thunderstruck_ thanks to her spark. "I'm a dragon. Have a good day."

She headed back to her friends, who were watching her with wide eyes.

"Hindi lang pala fierce," Julio whispered in terror. "Dragon nga pala to."

"Well, at least nasampal na ata sa katotohanan yung fuckboy ex niya," Marge pointed out.

"Hindi ko alam kung may pag-asa pa yun," Jay admitted with a sigh.

"If it cheers you up, kumaripas na siya ng takbo," Paulo murmured in a low voice.

Tina grinned at Jay. "Well, at least pinakita mo sakanyang hindi ka niya dapat binangga."

Jay felt herself glow. She had to admit, moments like these were so emoowering.


	47. Venus

_It was Christmas eve._

_It was the first time after a long while that she had no gripe about the season. The city was relatively safe again, everyone - including Goyong - was alive and unharmed, and she found a slice of happiness. She still had questions running in her head regarding Poleng's life and her fate but for that night, she couldn't ask for more._

_Good food, good company, good stories awaited them when the entire team was invited to spend the night with the Lunas. Jay hadn't had a proper family for a while - it had been just her and Joven and the Quizon siblings for years. Now she had formed a new one with the rest of the team and Goyong. Even though people would say that it was still too early to tell, she already knew that her relationship with the boy general was something they would finally keep for the rest of their lives. They would finally get the kind of happy ever after that was denied to them in their past lives._

_She went to sleep in the Lunas' comfortable living room, bundled up like the rest of the team and cuddling with Goyong. Everything she held dear in her little world was around her and it was the happiest highlight of her year so far. She was ready for anything else the incoming new year would throw at her._

**Sunday, 10-09-16, 8:00** **AM, Toll House Restaurant**

Jay fidgeted with her shirt collar as she watched Selong sit across the table from her and Goyong. She liked her boyfriend's uncle, she really did, but the knowing look he always gave her was sometimes unsettling. Given his  _abilities_ it was understandable though.

"Salamat at pumayag kayong makipagkita sa akin," he began as he leaned forward, eyes twinkling with joy. "Alam ko namang abala kayo lalo na't may mga bisita kayo para sa fiesta ngayon at maguumpisa pa kayong mag-ayos para dun sa lilipatan niyong bahay."

"Alam niyo naman pong hindi ka namin matitiis," Goyong pointed out.

Selong threw his head back and laughed. "I know, right? Hijo, salamat at di ka parin nangangalimot sa tiyo mo - lalo na ngayon at tatanda na rin ako ulit."

Jay's eyes lit up at his words. She knew that the three resurrected  _heroes_ all had to stay as they were until they fulfilled a certain something. For Goyong and Andres, it was for them to defeat the first doppleganger and pave the way to defeating Dolores and her other minions. "Ano nga po ba yung kinailangan niyong gawin para maging mortal na ulit kayo?"

"Oo nga, Tiyo. Parang mas mahirap po yung sainyo." Goyong had always been close to his uncle, she recalled, and it showed through the concern on his face.

The amusement never left Selong's face. "Mahabang daan ang tinahak ko pero hindi naman ito malaking bagay para sa akin. Marami akong natutunan sa mga nagdaang taon. At para sagutin ang mga tanong niyo, ang kinailangan ko lang namang gawin ay tulungan kayong talunin si Dolores."

"Mabuti naman po kung ganoon pero yung asawa niyo po noon... nasilang din po ba siya ulit?" It was still fascinating, the way Goyong could switch in between the modern and his older manners of speech.

Selong shook his head though the smile never left his face. "Ayos lang sa akin. May katandaan na rin naman ako at hindi na nararapat magsimula ng pamilya. Saka nandiyan naman kayo ng mga kaibigan niyo. Pangangalagaan ko parin lahat kayo."

Jay fought back the tears building up in the corners of her eyes.  _Tanginang hormones naman nito eh!_ The way Selong cared for all of them took her by surprise, reminding her yet again of her father. "Si Tito talaga oh. Nakakatouch!"

She might not have her father around anymore, but she still had her brother and Nonong, Goyong and the rest of the team. They would watch out and care for each other because they were a  _family_ now - one that they had chosen for themselves.

 **Sunday, 10-09-16, 10:00** **AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

The house they bought in the twins' old compound was even more spacious than they expected. Jay found it  _perfect_ as they could theoretically raise a big family within the comfort of its four walls. It was big enough to rival the ancestral house they currently lived in, after all.

"Yung bahay mismo ayos naman," she began, patting the whitewashed wall with an excited smile. "Yung problema nalang yung mga kailangang bilhin - furniture, appliances..."

"Maaasikaso naman natin yun." Goyong put an arm around her waist as he followed her through the empty house. Their footsteps echoed softly through the empty rooms.

Jay couldnt already feel excitement bubbling in her gut at the thought of making the house their own nest. It was a daunting task, what with all the buying and moving that they needed to do, but she was looking forward to the challenge.

She couldn't help but smile brightly. "Kulang nalang ata magvibrate na ako sa excitement! Makakapag interior design pa ako!"

"Relax, puso mo," he joked.

"Nasayo," she pointed out.

He stopped and turned to her, eyes glittering in amusement. He ran his thumb down her lips to her chin before leaning forward. The smile on his face was  _infuriating_. "Nasayo din ang puso ko, alam mo yun."

"Dapat lang kung hindi may magiging medium rare bagnet dito," she blurted out.

He chuckled and tilted her face up. "Maaari ba?"

She grinned and caressed his cheeks. There it was again, that ache between her legs. "Di naman kita pipigilan - basta ba makauwi tayo bago tanghalian."

She yelped as he started kissing her silly and she kissed back fervently. The raging thirst in her flared up and she pushed him against the wall, fumbling with his clothes.  _Hindi na ako magugulat sa mga pinagagagawa namin_.

 **Sunday, 10-09-16, 3:30 P** **M, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

 _Ang ganda naman gumising araw araw kung ganito makikita mo_.

Looking at him sprawled on their bed, trying to nap peacefully before the night's activities, sent the butterflies in her stomach flipping around madly. "Masyado na akong kinikilig, bawal na to," she whispered.

He stirred and groaned. "May problema ba?" he said groggily. "Pa-time check naman."

"Wala, wala, idlip ka na muna," she told him, stretching her back. "May thirty minutes ka pa."

He smiled and rolled over, wrapping an arm around her waist. "Hindi na ako makatulog. Tara, merienda na tayo." He slowly sat up, groaning as he stretched his muscles.

She couldn't help but stare. It's been over a year and she still stared like a smitten little girl sometimes. "Tangina Gregorio, tama na yang pagiging hot."

"Yan din sana gusto kong sabihin sayo." He stood up and held out his hand. "Tara?"

She took his hand and slowly hoisted herself to her feet. She dusted her shirt lightly. "Lead the way, Henerahhhl."

The house was crowded downstairs. The smell of cooking food wafted through the air while music blared from the living room.

"Goyong, Jay, banned parin daw tayong lahat sa kitchen sabi nina Ed at Ate Jules," Joven said as they reached the dining room. "Kinakarir parin nila ying pagluluto."

Jay didn't think twice about grabbing a cookie from a plate. She craved for sweets all the time and everyone knew it.

"First time nating naghanda ng bongga para sa fiesta mamaya. Nakakaexcite no?" She was pretty sure someone was staring at her judgingly for talking in between bites of food but she didn't mind. She was hungry and she wanted to talk. 

 **Sunday, 10-09-16, 8:30 P** **M, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

The night was beautiful. The household was brimming with people - the entire team, the Lunas and their children, the Bonifacios, Selong, Paulo and Celeste. They were so crowded that night that there was barely any space to move but no one minded. They were with friends and family - the kind they actually wanted to be around.

"Sana laging ganyan, ano?" Goyong whispered in her ear. "Kumpleto tayong lahat, masaya at ligtas."

"Sana nga," she mused, taking a bite from her barbecue. "Pero masaya tayong lahat ngayon, ligtas at kumpleto, and this is enough na muna."

"Nasasabik na ako." His voice was lower, more fervent. "Konting tiis nalang at ikakasal na tayo. Makakapagsimula na tayo ng sarili nating pamilya."

"Ako din." She was looking forward to everything that would happen over the next few months - getting married, going off on their honeymoon, welcoming their children into the world, spending the rest of their lives together.

She was once a simple wallflower, oppressed by her mother and peers and dragged along to their every whim. Now she was Venus unchained - a babaylan, a warrior, a businesswoman - and was soon going to be a wife and a mother too. She would never be famous the way revolutionary heroes were. To the world, she would always be the mysterious woman who once spurned the boy general's love.

She didn't care anymore, though. She was happy being Jay. She was the sun. She was love. She was light. She was fire.


End file.
